Waking Up And Starting Over
by Taytay123456
Summary: Set after Edward leaves. Jake is brought into Bella's life; his interest in her is piqued. Friendship follows. Realistic healing process. Realizations, love, Victoria, La Push, wolf transformations, the Cullen family returns in later chapters. Bella could be viewed as slightly OC. Rated T. NOT a story where Edward is forgotten, but a Team Jacob. Not AU !COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

At first, time passed without my realization. Normal tasks such as eating, showering and driving to and from school, was nearly impossible. Time passed in an odd, out-of-body type experience. I was numb. I was empty. Everything that makes a person alive had been taken from me; my being was ripped open and my insides were brutally ripped away. Leaving only the broken leftovers that couldn't possibly allow me function correctly anymore.

I was like a sorrowed ghost; I was stuck in an alternate life that somewhat mirrored my human life. I walked the same halls, sat in the same seats, slept in the same bed, yet absolutely nothing was the same. Not anymore. Never again.

After an agonizing, week long mental break down- that included screaming until my voice broke causing my throat to swell, vomiting, breaking the desk and nightstand in my bedroom, and hyperventilating to the point of fainting- I lost my emotions. I supposed, along with my heart, soul and spirit, my emotions were torn from me as well. It was as if I had been left with a minimum amount of feeling, some sort of meager token that I could hold onto, so I could feel the pain and know that the mystic universe I had been a part of for a precious year had been _real._

But even that had been stolen from me.

_He_ had taken everything.

Every part of me that made me who I was seemed to be missing. Not just missing, but gone forever. He'd taken them with him and made his clean break from my life. But my life wasn't a life any longer. It was more of an existence; a bland existence.

I sighed heavily. I was eating my habitual breakfast. I tasted nothing, but could feel a slight rough texture against my tongue and the roof of my mouth as I chewed blankly. I watched my arm lift a spoon to my lips and continued to mechanically eat. Charlie was sitting across the table from me reading the morning newspaper and gripping a hot mug of coffee. I knew I should be moving out of the kitchen chair soon, so I could make it to school on time.

Not that I cared. But Charlie did. And so, I attempted to keep the same routine each day so as not to rouse Charlie's suspicion. I stood and shuffled to the sink. I stared out of the small window above the sink as I washed my bowl and spoon. When I was finished, I turned around and grabbed my textbook off of the nearby bench; I never opened the book, but if Charlie saw my arms empty of books continuously, then he would ask questions.

And I avoided talking as much as possible. Suspicious questions were the plague.

I started to shuffle for the front door when Charlie cleared his throat loudly. My body froze because I knew he was gearing up to talk to me.

"Bella," He lumbered into the living room and frowned at me, "Where are you going this early in the morning?"

I stared back and vaguely mumbled, "To school."

His expression went from confusion to unconcealed worry. His chocolate eyes blinked several times before he quietly replied, "Today is Saturday, Bella."

I blinked once and mumbled, "Oh."

My face didn't blush because I didn't feel embarrassment. I just felt tired. I dropped my backpack to the floor and shuffled forward, past Charlie and toward the staircase. My textbook was underneath my arm, so I used it as an excuse when Charlie asked what I was doing now.

"I'll go study."

He mumbled, "Didn't you say you wanted to go grocery shopping today?"

I stopped my exit from the living room and said, "Sure, yeah, I'm going to the store later on."

I started up the staircase again but stopped when Charlie sighed seriously and firmly ordered, "Come back down here, Bella."

I turned around and took the few steps back toward my father. I stared blankly at him and waited. Just waited. Finally he said, "Bella, honey, I can't take this anymore. I think I'm going to get you a plane ticket to Florida. To your mother."

A wrinkled frown marred my forehead and I dumbly asked, "What?"

He gave me an anxious look before slowly saying, "Bella, look at yourself. You're depressed. I think some time in the sun, some time with your mother and away from Forks, is what you need. Maybe…after you get back on track, you can come here again." Charlie ran a shaky hand through his thick, curly hair and stammered, "I just…don't know what else to do. You aren't getting better and…and honey, I can't stand to see you hurting so much."

The first trickle of emotion in a long time ran through my chest. Panic.

"Um," I stuttered, "No, Dad, no. I'm fine. No need for Florida."

"Bella, you are anything but fine."

"I'm okay."

"Honey," Charlie's voice was oddly low as he explained, "You have been looking sick for a while. You don't eat properly and you're slipping up so much. You aren't even _here_ most of the time. And, damnit, I can't talk about this in the right way. That's why you need Renee. A daughter needs her mother for this kind of thing, Bella."

I blinked and mumbled, "Mom won't be able to help. I like it here. With you."

Charlie looked surprised before he flustered up and stuttered, "W-Well, you know I like you here, with me, too. But I really think staying here isn't good for you anymore. Because of him, you're just-"

I flinched violently and the movement stopped Charlie mid-speech. His face paled and he whispered, "Bella, all I want to do is fix this for you. Tell me how."

The odd sensation of panic was propelled aside with an unexpected, overwhelming feeling of love for my father. I could see the pain in his eyes and the way that he was standing in a slumped, defeated position. A pain that I had put there.

I was hurting my father. The thought came forward roughly and fanned away some of the thick fog covering my brain. I painfully pieced together a few jagged thoughts. I had to try better. _For Charlie._ I had to make some sort of effort or else Charlie would be as broken as me. The horror of that was too much to bear, so I shoved the thoughts aside and whispered, "I'm not going to Florida, Dad. I want to stay with you. I'm going to make a grocery list now."

I walked around him and went to the kitchen table. I sat down with a pad and pen and began to write. After numerous silent seconds, I croakily called out, "Is there anything specific that you would like for dinner this coming up week?"

Charlie slowly entered the kitchen and eased himself in his chair. I could feel his eyes on me, observing me closely, as I kept writing in my messy way. He named a few items briefly. I took my time writing on the slip of paper before offering awkwardly, "Uh, we could have, um, lasagna for dinner tonight…?"

Charlie cleared his throat again and took a loud sip from his coffee mug. Then he replied, "Actually, I was going to watch the basketball game with Billy tonight. He and Jacob are coming over. I was going to order pizza-"

I cut him off quickly, "Oh, I can cook. That's no problem, Dad. That's perfect. I can even make dessert. How about that strawberry cream pie you like so much?"

He eyed me cautiously and I could tell by the frown on his face that he was trying to work out my sudden urgency. He mumbled, "That'd be good."

I forced myself to reply, "Alright. I'll be back soon then."

The trip was uneventful, but expensive. I racked my brain over and over again as I went about putting away the purchases; _what in the world had Charlie and I been eating for the last week?_ There was next to no food in the house. Not in the refrigerator or the cupboards or the pantry. I chewed on my bottom lip feverishly as I stacked fresh vegetables in the crisper. I couldn't remember the last time I went shopping. _Had it been two weeks ago?_ _Or was the last time I went the same time that the cashier had dropped the jar of pickles, shattering it everywhere?_ I couldn't remember.

A headache was pounding at my temples from the amount of unwanted thoughts running through my brain. I didn't want to think or feel, but somehow, I had both. I felt a twinge of guilt as I saw how empty the kitchen was; it was my job to feed Charlie and keep the house clean. I was failing.

With a great sigh, I piled my thick hair on top of my head in place with hairpins and stripped my sweater off. I was about to throw it onto the kitchen bench when I caught an off odor. Halting, I hesitantly sniffed the sweater and snorted.

It smelled terrible. Like a mixture of bleach and sweat. Hesitantly, I smelled the flimsy t-shirt I was wearing underneath the sweater. It smelled sweaty too. I very nearly went about cooking dinner until I thought of Charlie's words. The Blacks' were coming over. Stinking wasn't socially acceptable when Charlie had his friends over. And the whole point of everything that I had done today was for Charlie, so I shuffled to my bedroom. I changed into a clean pair of sweatpants and a clean t-shirt. I went to the bathroom, splashed water on my face and added deodorant before returning to the kitchen. At least I didn't stink now. I tried not to think as I went about preparing dinner, but the thought surfaced anyways, along with a hurtful amount of embarrassment: I was so out of it that I hadn't even realized my own personal hygiene.

When I heard Charlie's muffled voice call out a greeting and an oddly familiar and warm voice greeting my dad, when I heard the front door slam shut and the sound of wheels rolling across the living room floor, when I heard the squeaks from the springs of our old couch, I tried not the panic.

The large pan of lasagna and garlic bread was baking in the oven and I was working busily on the dessert portion of the menu. A large bowl of fluffy, ivory frosting was chilling in the refrigerator, but I was having trouble with the batter. I had thrown away the first disastrous batch and was measuring the right amount of water, oil, and flour for the second batch when I heard heavy footsteps coming my way.

I froze for a moment as the unwelcoming panic welled again. I pushed it down and took a deep breath before going back to measuring flour into the bowl. I focused so intently that when a friendly and warm voice greeted me happily, my arm jerked. I yelped and the bag of flour and measuring cup slipped out of my hands.

It crashed to the floor. A small mushroom cloud of flour puffed up immediately and I gagged awkwardly. Before I could move or attempt to speak, the boy that had startled me bent down and started scooping up piles of flour with his big, clumsy palms and dumping it back into the cup. His hair was extremely long and a silky, ebony color. If I hadn't have been so shell-shocked and confused by this boy, by Jacob Black, then I might possibly have been jealous of a boy who had prettier hair than I did.

I bent down beside him and stared at the kitchen floor as he chattered nervously, "Oh, jeez. I'm so sorry, Bella, I shouldn't have scared you. I thought you heard me walk in. I'll clean this up. Really. I'm sorry. I'm clumsy, sometimes, you know? Don't worry, your moment of clumsiness with this flour is so my fault; I'll take the blame if Charlie freaks out. But I doubt he will."

He chuckled and kept scooping up flour. He asked, "So…where's the broom?"

"Oh, the closet." I stood up at the same time he did and as I turned to fetch the broom, my shoe slipped on the powdery substance. I scrambled to catch myself and would have smacked my head on the kitchen chair nearest to me if Jacob's arm hadn't shot out and steadied me.

He quickly took his arm off of me. I blinked up at him as he grinned brightly and chuckled, "I guess you're just clumsy too, huh?"

I was struck by the contrast of his pearly white smile and his russet face. Because I had always suffered from pasty skin, I admired pleasing, dark skin tones. And Jacob was one of the people who had a wonderful skin tone. I mumbled, "Um…yeah. I'll just…get the broom…"

Fumbling, I opened the closet door and swept the mess up as quickly as possible. Jacob stood out of the way and curiously peered at the mixing bowl from across the kitchen. When I caught him inching his way toward the oven, I frowned. He caught me staring and gave another bright smile.

He chuckled and sheepishly said, "It smells amazing. I swear that I was compelled to open the oven and take a peek. I really couldn't resist."

I was startled when my ears heard myself chuckle. It was a ludicrous sound. A bizarre pitching tune that made my stomach quiver uneasily. Abruptly, I spun around and finished making dessert. I was just pouring the strawberry glaze over the pink batter when Jacob's curious voice asked, "What is this called?"

He wasn't crowding my space, which I was relieved by, but he was still in the kitchen. He was sitting in Charlie's kitchen chair and he didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. His presence was too bright and overpowering; he was like an eager, joyous puppy. It hurt anytime I caught him smiling, like a punch to my mouth.

He was happy.

And I was not.

My voice sounded dead and vague. "It's strawberry cream pie."

My tone didn't put him off like it had put off Mike or Jessica or Angela over the last couple months. Instead, oddly enough, it didn't faze him. He replied easily, "It looks great. Charlie's constantly bragging about your mad chef skills."

I rolled my eyes as I opened the oven. With mittens on, I pulled out the lasagna pan and set it to cool. I slipped in the pie and mumbled blankly, "That's embarrassing."

Jacob laughed. My arm hovered over the top of the stove, hot pan of bread in my hands. I listened to the sound of his drawn out laugh as he said, "Charlie always talks about you. Don't worry; I know how you feel. Billy brags on me too."

I made a noncommittal noise in the back of my throat; I set the bread pan down and set the timer. I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a gallon of milk. I was about to close the door, but hesitated before glancing at him.

His dark eyes were twinkling and he offered another smile. My heart skipped a beat and I glanced away quickly. I asked, "Do you drink milk? If not…we have…"

I peered into the depths of the refrigerator before saying, "…orange juice or fruit punch. I think…uh, somewhere, uh, there's a can of soda."

He chuckled and replied, "No, milk is just fine, Bella. Thanks."

I didn't say anything as I mentally counted the number of tall glasses and plates needed to serve everyone. I was startled once again as Jacob stood up, walked toward me and gestured. He offered, "Why don't you hand me those dishes? I'll set the table."

I blinked owlishly at him. He had a different smile on his face this time. It wasn't a big, bright smile, but more of a soft smile that reminded me of silk. I couldn't help but wonder if his lips ever got tired from the never-ending workout they got from all the smiling and laughing.

I glanced at his long, ebony hair again before handing him a stack of plates and mumbling, "Thank you…"

The smile stayed on his face as he made his way around the table with an ease that I tentatively admired. Dumbly, I watched him set out the plates before I shuffled forward and set the glasses and utensils in his trail. He asked, "What else can I help with, Bella?"

I glanced fleetingly at him, but quickly glanced away again. I scratched the back of my head and quietly said, "Give it another five minutes and tell Billy and Charlie to come eat."

He nodded and plopped back down in Charlie's seat. His posture was relaxed and light as he joked, "Do you think Charlie will ever paint these cupboards again? I mean, they've been bright yellow for as long as I've been alive."

Shocked, I turned to him with my jaw slacked.

He chuckled and asked, "Why are you looking at me like that? Have I grown another set of eyes or something?"

I stuttered, "I-I…um…had the same thought the first day I came to live with Charlie again."

And there was his million-watt smile again. I turned away and busily started cutting up healthy squares of lasagna. _A smile like that would blind somebody, right?_ I dished out the food on each plate and poured milk for Jacob, Charlie and I, but hesitated as I came to the last glass. I asked, "Does Billy drink milk too?"

Jacob gave a friendly, brief smile and replied, "Yes."

I poured Billy a glass of milk as Jacob called loudly for our fathers. I could hear Billy and Charlie moving around and talking in joking voices. I pulled out an extra fold-out chair from the closet and scrapped it across the floor. I made sure that Dad's place setting was far enough away from Billy's that Billy could easily maneuver his wheel chair without difficulty. But that left me sitting closer to Jacob. I wasn't exactly close, but was close enough to be bothered. I sat down and waited until Charlie and Billy were seated. Charlie gave me a uncertain smile and said, "This looks good, Bella."

His smile was the goal I had been aiming for. I pushed my fork around the plate, peeking glances at the three people around the table. Charlie and Billy bantered simply, occasionally bringing Jacob into the conversation. We were half-way through the meal when Billy gave me a warm smile. It was then that I found out where Jacob inherited his eye-catching smile from.

Billy chuckled quietly and said, "That was a very good meal, Bella."

When Jacob and Charlie both glanced at me while eating, I turned my lips up slightly. My facial muscles were fighting me over such an unnatural action and I mumbled, "Thank you, Billy."

I hoped the expression came off as a small smile, but I doubted it.

Charlie stood and retrieved second helpings for himself and Billy. Jacob brought his plate to the sink and turned the faucet on. I was standing up and carrying my nearly full plate to the counter before I realized what my body was doing. I set my plate down near the sink and stuttered, "Uh, no, Jacob, I've got it."

He gave a careless, easy shrug and warmly replied, "I can wash it, Bella, no problem at all. It's the least I can do after some awesome lasagna like that."

I hovered near him for a moment with my hands halfway raised as if to snatch the plate from his hands. He smirked and raised a dark eyebrow. He jokingly said, "Of course, we can split the chore. I'll wash you and can dry."

I blinked and said, "Um…okay."

And that's how I found myself cleaning after-dinner dishes with Jacob while our fathers hollered and cheered over basketball in the next room. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be, but was still awkward enough. Jacob supplied easy conversation. He was on his third story of his friends' adventures when I finished icing the top of the pie. I found myself attempting to listen to his story, but his voice fell upon deaf ears; I couldn't focus on his happy tales.

I was so used to tuning things out that Jacob's friendly voice was a buzz in the back of my mind as I cut slices of pie and put them on saucers. I was just about to dish out a fourth piece when a broken thought sluggishly made its way into my muddled brain.

I gasped, "oh no."

Whether it was the tone of my voice or the sudden and frantic way I began to tear through the pantry, Jacob abruptly stopped in the middle of his easy-going story. He demanded, "What's the matter?"

The tough tremor in his voice was definitely unforeseen when compared to the soothing tone I had been hearing all night long. When I glanced at him curiously, I saw that he was standing up straight and tall. He had a frown on his face. I quietly explained, "I forgot…"

He cocked his head to the side and frowned again. "Forgot what, Bella?"

The action reminded me much of a confused puppy. I felt a warm blush coat my cheeks as I cleared my throat and retrieved the sugar-free cookies Charlie kept specifically for Billy's visits. I held them out to Jacob and apologized, "I can't believe I forgot about Billy's condition, Jacob. I'm sorry."

Understanding dawned in his dark eyes right before he blinded me with a swift, happy smile. He took the package of cookies and laughed, "Oh, Bella, you had me worried for a minute. Don't feel bad. Dad wouldn't want you feeling bad at all."

I tried giving a smile like I did when Billy complimented the dinner, but it turned out as more of a grimace.

After Charlie and Jacob polished off the pie- I nibbled on mine- Billy and Charlie said their goodbyes. I was exhausted, but was grateful nonetheless, to Jacob's help with cleaning the kitchen after dinner. I stood in the kitchen archway, watching as Jacob rolled Billy's wheelchair out of the door. Jacob gave a wave and big smile before saying, "Bye, Bella. It was nice hanging out."

I doubted that he was being sincere, but thought I had figured out enough about Jacob Black to know that he would be nice anyways. I gave an awkward wave followed by another small grimace. "Bye, Jacob. Yeah, it was nice."

Charlie closed the front door and lumbered back toward the couch. He plopped down and sipped on a beer. As another basketball game started, I knew I could slip upstairs undetected. As I started up the staircase, Charlie vaguely said, "Oh, Bella, Billy mentioned that Jake wanted some money for some car parts, so Billy's going to send him over tomorrow morning. He'll be tuning up your truck. I'll be heading into the station at six, so I thought I'd let you know. Uh, stay home. Keep him company, huh?"

I blinked and mumbled, "Okay, Dad."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** _Hey, guys. I saw that since I've published my first chapter a couple hours ago I've had several views. I would really appreciate any type of review to let me know what people think; a simple few words is plenty. The whole purpose of putting my writing on here is for feed back. Thank you. And here is chapter two for any who are genuinely curious in the story I have to tell._

I woke the following morning with a pounding headache and a scream blasting from my lips. I rolled over, shivering violently, and pulled my mound of blankets up to my chin. My heart was thumping wildly and my body was covered in a thin layer of perspiration even though I was not hot. I was far from that; I was freezing. My body was hollow and inside the carved out parts, my body was filled with ice. My body continued to shake long after I woke. I listened as Charlie readied himself for a day at the job. He hadn't checked on my when I screamed out, but right before he left, at a quarter to six, he cracked open the bedroom door and stared at my seemingly sleeping form before leaving. As soon as Charlie's cruiser pulled out of the driveway, I rolled out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. My body was still trembling and my muscles were still tensed and spasms erupted underneath my skin at random times.

I was used to this.

I made sure not to look in the mirror as I ran sweltering hot water in the bath-tub. My palms were clammy and quivering as I fumbled with the cabinet latch. After pulling out the necessary toiletries and fresh clothes, I stripped my sweaty pajamas and slipped into the steaming water. Everything was silent and my body slowly began to defrost from the ever-present coldness. Tears stung my eyes against my will and I was helpless as they oozed down my frosted cheeks. I brought my naked knees to my chest and wrapped my small arms around my body. I laid my wet cheek on my knees and a sob burst free from behind my trembling lips. I shook as my most recent nightmare played out behind closed eyelids.

Red eyes. Gold eyes. Monsters. Blood. The bloody, torn bodies of my parents. Of classmates from school. And a red-haired, flaming, fiery, irate vampire with eyes of ruby-red. Victoria. She didn't kill me; she never killed me. She left me alone, always alone, and stole all that mattered to me. She stole what mattered the most. I was left to watch, helpless and weak and screaming.

Constantly screaming. Always alone.

_They_ left me too. They left me to deal with this. Without a second thought.

The tears burned like poison leaking from my eye sockets, but I couldn't halt their progression. I was helpless. Why was I feeling so much? I didn't want pain or helplessness or panic. I didn't want any of it; but it seemed that I had it all again. _How would I possibly survive and push through my damned existence with emotions ripping what was left of me apart?_

The water turned tepid by the time I washed my hair and body. I was acutely aware of the aches in my legs and arms as I dressed; I felt like lead. I felt heavy and sluggish and exhausted as I shuffled downstairs. My nose was red and continuously filling with snot. A product of my bout of crying. I fixed a pot of coffee and then poured myself a mug full. I was adding cream and sugar when I heard the front door quietly close. I frowned and my mind immediately went into defensive mode; _who was here?_ Not Charlie.

When soft, yet heavy footfalls echoed across the living room floorboard, I sucked in a deep breath. My mind instantly became feverish. For one fleeting, yet never-ending moment I thought Victoria had finally come for me. She was keeping her vow to the Cullens and coming back to avenge her mate, to kill me, to make me suffer. And in that never-ending moment, Charlie popped into my thoughts. An image of him danced before my eyes, just out of reach. My father, my dad, the man who tried his hardest for me. The man who was hurting over me right now. Then Renee. My mother. The flighty, brilliant woman I had spent my childhood caring for. Billy Black flashed before my eyes, just for a fraction of a second. Billy would know who had killed me; he'd know. _Isn't that what Edward had said? __That Billy knew Edward and his family weren't altogether normal?_

I wrecked my brain frantically. Yes, Billy knew something was different about the Cullens. I hoped Billy could keep Charlie alive and whole throughout his mourning for me.

Jacob. I saw his bright, startling grin. Heard his deep, boisterous laugh inside my mind.

And now, when I was about to face the monster who lurked in my nightmares, I desperately wished I could laugh like him. Wished I could learn how to be happy again. Laid-back and happy. Like Jacob.

That's when a figure stepped into the kitchen. There I stood, unmoving like a rabbit in front of a deadly predator, while my eyes blinked at the figure. Taller than me by several inches. Dark, ebony hair tied in a band and falling gracefully down his back. Dark eyes widened in surprise and then turned worried and cautious. Bronze skin and muddy jeans.

"Bella…" Jacob's warm, slow voice washed over me like a security blanket. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding and mumbled, "Jacob…?"

"What happened…?" He questioned with a frown between his face, "Did something scare you?"

A part of me was surprised at his perceptiveness, but that was overrun by intense relief. I breathlessly said, "I thought you were a…a thief."

"Oh." He replied simply and then his expression turned guilty. He repeated with feeling, "Oh. I'm sorry, Bella. Damn. I should have knocked, but I assumed you'd be sleeping so early in the morning. Charlie said just to come in whenever I needed to."

I forced out a tight chuckle and said, "Yeah, I'm just being stupid. Uh, you're welcome to come in whenever you need to. Uh…what did you need?"

Jacob blinked and seemed to refocus before looking around and explaining easily, "Well, I needed a few rags. I forgot to grab some before I left my house."

"Rags?" I questioned as I went to the closest. I opened the door and pulled out a handful of stained, holy pieces of cloth. I walked to him and held them up. I asked, "Will these do?"

He gave an easy smile and nodded before stepping forward and taking the pile from my cold hands. He turned to go and I found myself saying, "Would you mind if I…watch you work on the truck?"

His smile brightened considerably and he replied, "Sure. That'd be great."

I grimaced a little and said, "Yeah, I think I should try to…uh, learn something about the truck to appease Charlie."

Jake chuckled before walking out of the house. Maybe because of the nightmare fresh in my mind, maybe because I wanted to try harder for Charlie, maybe because I disliked being so alone, maybe because of the terrifying scare a few minutes ago, I found myself carrying a box of Pop-Tarts outside. The hood of my truck was propped open and a scarred up box of tools was sitting on the ground a few feet from the right, front tire. Some type of wrench and two black plastic bottles were balancing on the top of the cab. Jake's body was halfway underneath the truck, all that was sticking out was his jean clad legs and muddy boots. I watched quietly for a moment before setting the Pop-Tart box on the roof of the truck. I went to the side of the house and pulled a rusty, old, metal chair to the driveway.

I plopped down and awkwardly called out, "Um…I brought out some Pop-Tarts…you know, if you want one, Jacob."

I brought my knees up to my chest and put my chin upon my knees. I heard multiple clinks and clanks from underneath the truck. Jacob's feet shuffled around a bit and his muffled voice said, "Cool, thanks, Bella. What flavor?"

"Uh, blueberry." I bit my lip and added, "But there's a box of strawberry inside if you would prefer that."

"Cool." He repeated as he shimmed out from underneath the truck. His hands were smudged with black and the back of his shirt and pants were wet and covered in gravel. He brushed himself off a bit, threw a bright grin at me and asked, "So do you want step-by-step directions on what I'm doing? I figure you might get bored that way. Uh, mechanics usually isn't interesting to many people that I meet."

He looked a bit nervous and I didn't want that. So I replied, "I'm different, so it's okay, Jacob."

He stared at me for a moment, a single moment, before he looked away and bent over his tool box, pawing through plenty of dirty tools. I worried anxiously about my comment, wondering if I had spoken awkwardly or not. My skill on human-to-human contact was very rusty. At best, I had been considered socially inadequate before. Now, I was definitely considered socially _impossible._

I watched Jake patiently fiddle with his tools. Time passed slowly and although I was definitely awkwardly silent, Jacob didn't seem to mind. He worked thoroughly and offered explanations as he worked; I understood very little of what he had to say. Yet I liked watching him work. His hands were big, like a puppy with overgrown paws, and he had shown clumsy qualities last night, but with my truck, surrounded by greasy tools, he knew what he was doing and there was no fumbling with his hands. He pulled out multiple pieces to my truck, and at first, I was worried that he'd tear my truck apart and not know how to put it back together again. But the easy demeanor and confident way he spoke of each object that he pulled apart let me know that he really knew what he was doing.

I found myself wistfully envying his confidence. Envying his smile and laugh. But then, as he wiped his dirty palms on a rag and retrieved the box of Pop-Tarts, I felt guilty for envying someone so…innocent and happy. I knew my envy was unfair to him, but I couldn't stop the emotion from burying into my chest. Unfortunately, the guilt settled inside my hollow chest as well.

Jacob smiled warmly and offered the box to me as he munched on his pastry. He hummed dramatically and chuckled, "Thank you for the food or I would have starved by now, Bella."

I gave a small pull of my lips that might have looked like a half-smile before offering, "Uh, I could cook us something to eat…if you're hungry…"

Jacob's bright, yet dark eyes twinkled and he replied, "Oh, no, Bella. I was joking."

"Uh," I swiped my messy hair back with my right palm in a nervous way before mumbling, "It's the least I can do for you fixing my truck and keeping me company."

I broke eye contact and looked down at my sweatpants because I was unnerved when he met my eyes. He didn't gawk or cautiously watch me like Charlie or my classmates did, which was a relief, but in the quick moments when he tossed a glance and a smile my way it was as if he could see straight through my façade. It was as if he saw, he knew, what had been done to me. The thought was irrational, so I tried my best to push it away as I stood from the rusty, old chair.

Jacob raised his eyebrows in a humorous way and joked, "Did I finally scare you away or bore you to tears?"

I shook my head and gave a breathless, foreign chuckle. "No, uh, I'm going to make lunch. Do you like turkey and tomato sandwiches?"

His face literally lit up like an eager kid as he replied, "Hell yeah. Sounds great."

I walked away as he ended his snack break and slipped back underneath my truck. I left him to continue on. I set about making him a sandwich with extra turkey and a thick slice of tomato. As an afterthought, I spent the extra ten minutes squeezing lemons and adding water and sugar until I had the perfect balance of tart and sweet. I poured Jacob a massive glass full and plopped a few ice cubes into the glass before putting his plate and drink on a tray. I was careful to ease my way down the porch steps and to watch my feet cautiously. When I got closer to the truck I announced quietly, "Here's your food."

Jacob's jeans were muddier than before as he slipped out from underneath the truck. His long, admittedly great, hair was a bit tangled. He rubbed his oily smudged hands on his muddy jeans, which only caused his hands to become dirtier. A completely unexpected snicker slipped past my lips as Jacob battled with multiple dirty rags to clean his hands. He glanced up, smirked playfully at me and cocked an eyebrow. He asked, "You think this is funny, Swan?"

I felt my face drain of color. I had laughed at him. I thought it was funny. The whole concept was so foreign that I gripped my arms across my stomach because I felt like I might fall apart again like earlier in the morning. I had no business laughing at anything. Not when I was so broken, not when I was so hurt, not when I was destined to die by the hands of supernatural creatures. And possibly get Charlie killed in the process as well.

"Hey, uh, Bella?" Jacob's quiet and serious voice sounded closer. I frowned and brought myself out of my thoughts to find him kneeling by the chair I was sitting in. He wasn't looking at me with scrutiny, but with compassion that I was shocked to see in his eyes and hear in his voice.

"I'm sorry you're hurting…" He said quietly as he took the tray from my numb fingers. He plopped onto the ground and held my gaze for a few moments. Just long enough to throw my world into even more chaos.

I swallowed a lump of illogical tears and hurt in my throat as I mumbled, "You have nothing to be sorry about…"

"No," Jacob answered quietly, "But _somebody_ should be unbelievably sorry for putting that pained look on your face."

I was so staggered by his words; by the way I felt around him, that I felt tears prick the back of my eyes. I nodded, but couldn't find the will to speak. What could I say to a statement like that? There was nothing I could say to make anything better. And no matter how sweet his words were, Jacob Black couldn't heal me. I was doomed to live this way.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:** Hey, guys. To the two people who reviewed, you made my day:) You literally made me freak out with excitement. Thank you, thank you **Megan39 **and **tonyamic10**:) I can't believe I have fans. Feel free to review and say anything you please. I'll be willing to answer questions. To the tons of people that have read, thank you as well. Enjoy!_

The next couple of days dragged by and I found myself slipping back into a numb state at random times. At school, during forty minute intervals of dreadful lectures, I found myself disappearing inside my head and floating in a blank spot until the bell shrilled and I woke from my stupor long enough to go to my next period and float in numbness some more.

That wasn't really a good thing to do for Charlie. I knew he had people that reported to him on my behavior during school time, but honestly, I put forth so much energy in trying for Charlie at home that I couldn't manage to keep up the charade during school too. I went home every day, cooked Charlie elaborate dinners, emailed my mother about my mundane day, forced myself to talk to Charlie about anything to keep him less worried, and then went to bed.

Except I didn't sleep.

The nightmares were never-ending and horrible. I had been having them since the night I was saved by the Quileutes in the forest; the dreams were increasing in violence and desperation. Last night Victoria had tortured Charlie while I struggled against an invisible barrier. Victoria, with her fiery hair and ruby-red eyes, had cackled cruelly and broke Charlie's fingers. My sobbing screams and chanting echoed through my mind. _Charlie, Charlie! Dad, Dad, Dad, no! Don't hurt him!_

Charlie had crashed through the bedroom door and slumped down beside my thrashing form. I could see him and I knew I had just had a nightmare, but Victoria's revolting smile was flashing behind my fluttering eyelids and Charlie's wretched scream of pain was echoing around inside my skull, pounding back and forth painfully. I had sobbed for several minutes, completely unable to do anything but cling to the real Charlie in front of me. He rubbed my back, holding me close, whispering to me, telling me that nobody would hurt me again while he was there, that I was safe, that he was safe, that we would both be okay. Those words brought tears to my eyes as I drove home on a dreary Wednesday afternoon.

Charlie wasn't _safe._ It was my fault and there was nothing I could do to stop the monster from getting to my father if she chose to hurt him. And that's what haunted my dreams. I also knew my energy on making Charlie happy again was pointless as long as I was waking him with my screams at night; he would never believe I was okay if I couldn't hide the night terrors from him.

The bruises under my eyes and the puffy, red-rimmed eyelids were physical clues to my state. So I forced myself to make a pit-stop in town, where I gave up after a while of searching and found a store's clerk to find concealer makeup that would match my skin tone. After paying for the makeup and a bottle of eye drops, I drove home. I stuffed the plastic bag underneath my bed and swore to myself that I would experiment with the makeup later. _This was all for Charlie's sake. All for Charlie._

"It's for Charlie…" I muttered to myself as I clomped down the staircase and pulled out a package of pork steaks from the refrigerator. I had just put them in a large bowl full of liquid marinade when the house phone rang loudly. I answered, "Hello?"

Charlie's gruff voice greeted, "Hey, honey, how was school?"

"Uh," I said, "Fine, I guess. What's up?"

"Billy called and invited us to his house tonight. Harry and Sue will be there; they've got some fish fry they're cooking up. I thought we could go over."

"We?" I questioned as I eyed the bowl of marinade.

Charlie's voice was anxious and awkward as he mumbled, "Um, yeah, we…I thought…well, I mean, you don't have to go…"

"No." I replied instantly, hating the tone of his voice. "I'll go, Dad."

"Oh…" Charlie sounded relieved, "Alright. I'll be home soon, Bella."

I hung up and put the marinade and steaks back in the refrigerator. I went upstairs and changed into fresh jeans and a fresh sweater. It took several frustrating minutes before I properly managed to apply the makeup to my face, and it painfully reminded me of Alice. It hurt to think of her and remember the instructive steps she had taught me when she dressed me up for prom. I had to blink rapidly to keep from crying as Alice's sweet laugh filled my head. I missed her._ I missed her._

Abruptly, I was brought away from those gut-wrenching memories by tripping over a mound of clothes shoved halfway underneath my bed. I crashed to the floor in an ungraceful heap. With a deep sigh, I rolled over and sat up.

I eyed the pile of clothes for several moments before picking up multiple shirts. I opened my closet door and took time to place each shirt neatly into the nearly empty closet. An eye-catching item of clothing made me stop and stare. Frowning, I reached out and ran my hand over the emerald green velvet. Tears welled up instantly, but I pushed them away and slammed the door closed as hard as I possibly could. I collapsed onto my mattress and held back sobs.

I remembered why I started piling all of my clean clothes under my bed. _The damn dress._ My eighteenth birthday dress. Alice had bought it. The very sight of the it was enough to break what was left of me.

I fought back tears so as not to disturb the precious time spent on concealing the flaws on my eyes. I wanted and desperately needed to keep the makeup on my face. It made me look healthier. Prettier. Better. It hid the sleeplessness from Charlie. That's what I needed. I left my bedroom and escaped downstairs to wait on the couch until Charlie arrived home from work.

I gave a small smile and watched as he walked through the door and greeted me quietly. I stared at the TV and tried to pay attention to the meaningless show playing out in front of me as Charlie pretended to be fiddling with his belt even though I knew he was watching me, observing me.

He did that a lot.

And I supposed I'd have to get used to it. I was the one who had caused him to get to the point where he had to be cautious and watchful of his daughter like I was a terrified, skittish rabbit. I pondered over that until Charlie lumbered down the staircase and cleared his throat. He asked, "You ready there, Bella?"

I nodded wordlessly and went to the cruiser. We drove in silence, which is normal for Charlie and me. The silence was awkward, yet in an oddly comfortable way. When Charlie pulled onto the small, muddy roads of the Reservation, my interest was quipped. I sat up straighter and peered out the window; taking in the scenery.

When the cruiser began to turn on a muddy, make-shift driveway, I soaked up the entire scene. It was a large piece of land, but the majority of the front yard was muddy and barren. An old, small, faded red house sat toward the right side of the yard. The porch was wooden and sagged quite a bit; the wood looked like it had taken several beatings from the natural elements. There was a wooden ramp next to the slippery steps leading to the front door. One of the windows on the face of the red house was cracked.

I loved it instantly.

As I exited the car and carefully slipped my way across the muddy drive, I noticed that the front door was covered in scars. Charlie knocked once before opening the door. The tangy smell of Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry met my senses. Loud noises hurt my ears, but the minor annoyance was worth it as I watched Charlie grin and bear-hug Harry and Billy. They both greeted me enthusiastically before turning back to Charlie and immediately engaging him in boisterous conversation involving work, hunting, fishing, and the latest football game. A plump, but pretty woman in her late forties was sitting in the tiny kitchenette while writing in a notebook. When she caught me glancing at her, she smiled brightly and said, "Hey, darling, I'm Sue Clearwater; Harry's wife. I haven't seen me since you were about ten. You've grown so much! How are you doing?"

I tried to smile, but I knew by the pitying look on her face that I wasn't very successful. I mumbled, "Hi. I'm fine. Thanks."

Then I hurriedly looked away because her stare was irritating me. I leaned against the living room wall and took in the small space. The living room was cluttered, but definitely well-lived in. There was a big chair that I knew was specifically for Billy. The stained sofa looked lumpy and worn down, but it added great character to the room. The walls were covered in dozens of pictures of tanned children. From where I stood, I was absolutely surprised to see two picture frames with me as a young toddler; tangled brown hair and a cheesy grin. There was dirt on my nose and I had my arms wrapped around the waist of a skinny, grinning, toddler Jacob Black.

I stepped away from the wall and took a closer inspection of the pictures. The second picture I vaguely remembered. It had been a celebration of some sort. _Maybe a birthday party?_ I recognized Billy's twin daughters, who looked to be about thirteen. Behind them, running around with a young, tanned, skinny boy with flowing black hair, was me. If the twin daughters were anything to go by, then my age was between eleven and twelve. That would have made Jacob, maybe, nine or ten years old. Both of us were grinning.

Grinning.

For lack of anything else to do, and because I was curious, I kept examining each framed picture. I passed several of the twins' school pictures. The last pictures of them were their graduation pictures; they looked unbelievably beautiful. Both of them had flowing, shiny black hair and wide, infectious smiles that _almost_ beat Jacob's. But not quite. The most recent picture of Jacob that I could find was the one nearest to the television set; he was caught at an awkward transition in that picture.

I guessed it was last year's school picture. I was about to go stand against the wall again, and let time drag by until Charlie decided to go back home, when Jacob's warm voice startled me.

"Oh, jeez, Bella, don't look at that picture. I look like a complete idiot."

I turned around quickly and nearly tripped over my own feet. His long, caramel colored hand shot out to steady me. His touch was warm. Nice even. I was too wary of my reactions to him to speak. So he spoke when I didn't fill the silence. He pointed a thumb in the direction of the back patio. I looked through the sliding glass doors and could see a small fryer. Harry was plopping pieces of fish into it and Charlie and Billy were sitting and talking. Jake said, "You should've let me know you were coming and I would have made sure to be here earlier to save you from boredom."

An involuntary chuckled passed my lips before I abruptly cut it off, gestured toward the walls and quietly mumbled, "Uh, I've just been looking at all these pictures."

Jake winced and muttered, "I really need to convince Dad to take some of the more embarrassing ones down. Burn them or something."

Another chuckle escaped my mouth. This time I didn't bother stopping it. I slowly replied, "Yeah…Charlie has some embarrassing pictures of me on the walls at the house too. Sucks."

He nodded and smiled brightly before asking, "What would you like to do? I'm sure you don't want to just sit here and stare at stupid, kid pictures of me and my sisters all day."

A blush coated my cheeks as I mumbled, "Um…I don't know. What do you normally do?"

He shrugged and dismissively answered, "I just stay in my garage and work on my car. If not that, then I'm always working on other people's vehicles."

"Uh, sure, let's do that."

An expression of delighted surprise crossed his face. He exclaimed, "Seriously?"

I nodded and half-chuckled. "Yeah, sure, Jacob."

He grinned and gestured, "Come on, Bella, this way."

I followed him out the back door. As we passed our fathers, Charlie called out, "Where you going, Bella?"

I turned and gestured toward Jacob. "With him."

Billy laughed and Harry commented, "Yeah, Charlie. Isn't that obvious?"

I blushed and Jacob answered for me, "To the garage, Charlie."

Charlie cleared his throat and returned to his conversation with Billy. I followed Jacob further in his back yard. It was luscious with green grass and trees. We walked for a long moment before I asked, "Is your garage this far away from your house?"

He nodded and explained, "Before my dad had his accident, he and lots of his buddies built the garage up here on the slope. See, our yard is at the bottom of the slope so we always get flooded. Dad didn't want to chance getting all of his woodwork ruined with water, so they built it up here."

I nodded, listening and trying to focus on not slipping down the slope. We were fairly far away from the men on the back patio, but they would still see me bust my butt if I was to fall. Finally Jacob turned around and offered his hand to me. Blushing again, I silently took his hand and allowed him to gently pull me the last couple feet up the steep, slippery hill.

He commented nervously, "Sorry. I didn't think about the slope. I'm so used to climbing it after the rain falls that I didn't think about you having trouble."

I waved my hand and mumbled, "I'm too clumsy for my own good. Not your fault, Jacob."

He grinned brightly and gestured widely and dramatically enough to cause another chuckle to erupt from my mouth. He shrugged then and said, "It isn't much…but…"

He looked nervous again as we walked toward the building. It was a mixture of wood and sheets of metal. It looked weathered and wet from the most recent rain, but overall, it seemed okay. He pulled the wooden doors open and ushered me inside just as a light drizzle began to fall from the sky. I heard him fumble around for a moment, but I couldn't see him in the darkened interior. There was a soft click and the room was bathed in bright, florescent lighting. I blinked multiple times before the details cleared. The floor was flat, gray concrete and had a few oil stains in various spots. There was a massive, dirty table in the back corner of the room that held a few old, metal pieces that I assumed went to a vehicle.

There was another table, which looked more like a beat up, wooden desk that was flush against another wall. It held papers, books and a tin can filled with pens and markers. A large radio was sitting on the corner near a stack of books. In the middle of the floor stood the most eye-catching object; a red car in various stages of completion. Or destruction. My eyes widened and I asked, "Are you building this thing?"

Jacob nodded and shrugged a shoulder as his eyes lingered over the car. He answered, "Yeah, it's a hobby that I'm into. It all started with this old dirtbike Harry gave me when I was thirteen. I started tinkering with it and researching how to fix it up. Eventually I got it running and rode it around with my friends until my friend, Quil, crashed it."

I smiled and touched the hood of the car. "This is amazing."

Jacob laughed kindly and replied, "It isn't too hard. Takes practice is all. Just a hobby."

"No way." I protested, "This is a talent. My truck sounds much better when it runs now. I can't believe you fixed it."

He looked pleased and I found myself relieved I hadn't made a fool out of myself by talking so much. The rest of my time was spent sitting on a rusty chair that Jacob had objected to me sitting in. He wanted to go to his aunt's house and find a chair without dirt on it, but I just brushed the dirt off and sat down anyways.

I watched him work. For the first half hour I stayed silent and watched curiously. It was the same as when he was fixing my truck; he would tell me silly stories about his even sillier friends. I would mostly listen without speaking, but sometimes I felt terrible for not talking, so I'd ask what he was doing.

That was my same question each time. _What are you doing?_ I sounded like a broken record set on repeat, but he didn't seem to mind. I reluctantly admitted to myself that I had no idea how to act around another human being. It seemed safer to stick with the same question.

After another story I found somewhat amusing, Jacob asked, "Are you bored yet?" He glanced up at me and I could see a thin sheen of sweat on his face from working so much. His arms were stuck inside the engine part of the car and he kept up a rhythmic motion. I had no clue what he was doing.

I shook my head and simply said, "No."

He grinned joyfully and I found my system literally blinded for a moment. I was exasperated nearly immediately; _why was his smile so bright?_ Powerful seemed like the appropriate word to describe it. He commented, "Good. I'd hate it if you got bored with me."

I gave a hesitant, minor smile that felt so odd upon my face. I said, "I don't see how anyone could be bored around you."

His dark brows pulled together, but the smile stayed placed on his lips as if he was born to wear it. He asked inquisitively, "What makes you say that?"

I watched as he pulled his oily arms out from the car. He tossed a wrench down with a loud clank and glanced at me again. Waiting for my answer. I responded awkwardly, "Well, you're so interesting…"

His laughter was slow and sweet like honey. The sound made me think of sunshine and my summertime in Phoenix. He said, "That's the first time anyone has told me that. Thanks, Bella."

A blush warmed my cheeks as I picked at the sleeve of my jacket. I quietly said, "You're welcome."

"For what it is worth," He said casually, "I think you're interesting too."

I laughed without an ounce of humor and words poured from my mouth like venom, "I'm the most boring human on the planet. I'm not interesting in the least bit."

I halted my movements as soon as the words had escaped my lips. I sounded so bitter, so full of bitterness, that there was no way Jacob hadn't picked up on the emotion. Slowly, dreadfully, I brought my eyes up to meet Jacob's. He wasn't looking at me; wasn't watchful like I know Charlie would have been had I spoken like that in front of him. His gaze was focusing on the tool in his dirty hands.

I was appalled at myself.

I couldn't see Jacob's facial expression, but suddenly, I felt an illogical sense of dejection. A sadness that wasn't nearly as strong as the numbness I had become so accustomed to, but a hurtful emotion nonetheless. I stood up on shaky legs and stuttered, "Uh, s-sorry. That was uncalled for. I should leave."

I whirled around and had taken a few shaky steps before Jacob gently said, "No, Bella. Come back for a minute."

I paused and stared out at the drizzling rain. I had blown my one pathetic chance at attempting to bring some sort of okay feeling back into my life. I had screwed it up by letting Jacob see how bitter I was. Numbness swept over and through me. Blessed numbness. _How dumb was I for thinking I might be able to function at all?_

I mumbled without feeling, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be around you, Jacob."

He spoke quickly and gently, "Don't run away, Bella. I'm not angry or upset because of what you said. Just stay here."

My mind was jumbled. _What was he saying?_

I felt a rough hand with a gentle touch grasp my shoulder. His touch lingered for a moment before he let go. The touch was very brief, but that touch caused a sense of comfort to rush through my veins. My blood warmed. And for that brief time, that single second, I felt more alive than I had in months.

I turned around reluctantly and mumbled, "What?"

I watched him. His posture was antsy and his dark eyes were full of strong emotions that I found shocking. "Bella," Jacob sighed, "I know that you're having problems. I know that he hurt you, but I don't want you to go. I don't care; you can say whatever you want. I won't judge you."

I stood. Frozen and confused and so, so lost. Finally, after a long moment of frantic thinking, frantic breathing and clutching my arms around my stomach to hold myself together, I let out a shaky breath and croaked, "Why?"

I couldn't bear to look at his face any longer, so I stared blankly at my soggy shoes. After a moment he slowly said, "I'm not sure."

I shook my head back and forth several times. I knew he must think I was crazy. I, personally, believed I was crazy. I wondered if Charlie did too. Maybe I had gone insane the moment the Cullens walked out of my life. Maybe I was crazy before they ever showed up. After all, what kind of human went head-long into dangerous killers that thirsted for human blood?

Had to be crazy.

I muttered, "I'm crazy."

"No," He protested gently, "You aren't crazy, Bella. You've just been hurt."

I shook my head again as warm tears welled up and spilled over. My body was shaking from bent up emotion. I mumbled, "I'm sorry. I should go."

"No!" Jacob answered firmly and then his voice gentled, "Bella, I want you to stay. Can you hear me? I don't care how crazy you think you are. I just want to help you. Stay here and let me help you."

I shook my head as the tears oozed down my cheeks. The image of my sneakers was burned into my mind, but I kept glaring at them as the tears fell. I muttered, "There's nothing that can help me."

"I believe there is." He answered softly, "Love can hurt, Bella, but all you need is time and to realize that you're strong enough to go on without the love that you had."

I bit my lip and kept my arms wrapped tightly around my throbbing stomach as I whispered, "I'm broken…"

There was a thick pause before he quietly responded, "I want to help put you back together again, Bella. I'll help if you only allow me to."

I shuffled my feet restless. My vision blurred as the tears continued to fall. I was conflicted and breathing heavily. The tears clogged in my throat, so I couldn't speak. _Isn't that what I wanted? _Isn't that what I had thought of the first night Jacob walked into my kitchen? I wanted to learn to smile like him. To laugh. To be comfort and easy. Effortless. I wanted normal. I wanted to be okay. Impossibility. I didn't think I could be okay again, but Jacob did. He was willing to try at something I thought was impossible. _Why?_ Why was he willing? I didn't want to hurt him. Didn't want to break a wonderful, innocent, bright, talented person like him. What he had was so rare; _could I be selfish enough to threaten that?_

I forced my neck to move until my blurred eyes were staring into Jacob's. His eyes were such a uniquely dark brown that they were nearly black. His eyes were so intense and the way he gazed at me was exactly as he had looked at me at my house while he was fixing my truck; I felt like he could see straight to my soul. It was as if he already knew everything there was to know about me. I opened my trembling lips and breathlessly croaked, "I don't know how…"

The acute relief was obvious in his eyes and the way he released the tense position he had been standing. As if he had been preparing his body for a physical, killing blow. I watched as he swallowed heavily and said, "We'll figure it out together, Bella. Why don't you take a seat and let yourself calm down?"

His voice was soothing and gentle, but he didn't sound as if he was talking to an injured animal; he sounded like he was truly concerned. I nodded and shakily stumbled to the rusty chair. I plopped down and put my head between my knees with my unsteady fingers wrapped around the back of my skull. I watched as Jacob sat down on the concrete floor several feet from me. His big feet were clad in muddy boots, so I focused my gaze on the boots as I breathed in and out slowly.

After a few moments of silence he whispered, "I think holding everything inside of you might not be the best thing to do. I just want you to know that you can talk…whenever you want to. About anything. No matter how stupid or uncomfortable you might feel you can always talk to me. I'll listen. I won't judge or talk back unless you want me to."

I nodded because I didn't know what else I could possibly do. More silent moments passed until, second by second, the tightness in my chest and stomach released. I was left with a dull ache, but it was much preferable than the intense pain. My breathing leveled out to even breaths with only the occasional hiccup. My eyes were stinging tenderly, but the tears were gone.

I lifted my head carefully and wiped at my eyes. Then Jacob and I stared at one another for a long instant. Finally I broke eye contact and whispered, "I'm sorry…"

He shook his head and his ebony hair moved along his shoulders. I wondered when his hair tie had fallen out. He gave a smile just as bright and as blinding as last time before saying, "Don't apologize. I don't want to ever hear an apology for showing your emotions."

He stood up and went back to his car. He began pawing through tools while saying, "You know what I never understood? I never get why people feel sorry for crying or freaking out or getting so angry that they cause a scene in a public place. As far as I'm concerned, feelings are meant to be shown. Definitely not suppressed."

I blinked owlishly and said nothing.

He went back to working on the car as if the breakdown minutes before never happened. After a while, he began to explain what he was doing to a certain piece of the engine. He explained what that particular part did and how it moved with the car as a whole. And I found myself listening. Time passed unbeknownst to me until Jacob straightened up from his bent position over the hood. He cracked his back loudly and I raised my eyebrows and winced. When he saw my expression, he laughed cheerfully and said, "It doesn't hurt. It feels great when I pop my back or fingers."

I shook my head silently. He began throwing tools into an oil-smudged metal box before suggesting, "How about we head down to the house? I'm getting hungry."

I followed without comment. On the way down the slope, I slipped and nearly lost my balance twice, but Jacob caught me both times. He chuckled and said, "We should make a game out of this; How Many Times Can Jacob Catch Bella."

My lips twitched, but I didn't have the energy to actually smile. Jacob and I came to the back patio. I watched as he stomped his feet on the concrete; mud came off of the bottoms of his treads in great clumps. So I copied his actions. It took quite an amount of force and loud scrapping before I managed to get the majority of the thick mud off of my sneakers.

When I was done stomping, I looked up to find Jacob watching me in amusement. I mumbled, "What?"

He shook his head while grinning and replied, "Oh, nothing, you're just following and copying me like a duckling with its Momma Duck."

I blushed as he laughed in delight. I cracked a small smile when I realized he wasn't upset. I should've known better; he was probably always happy. I idly wondered how awesome it must be to be such a wonderfully enthusiastic and happy person like Jacob.

When we entered the house, the men were lounging in the living room and roaring over the football game on TV. Jacob went straight to the tiny kitchen and pulled a massive pan of fried fish out of the oven. My eyes widened when I saw how many pieces he piled onto a paper plate. He located a bottle of ketchup and squirted a mountain of it on his plate before plopping down at the rickety, wooden table. He smiled and asked, "Would you like some fish? I could make you a plate."

I shook my head slightly and gave another half-smile; but the muscles in my face were so frozen that they didn't want to cooperate with me. I decided smiling was really not worth the trouble. So I stood in between the kitchenette and living room for a moment, before slipping into a hard chair across from Jacob. He swallowed a mouthful of food and smiled easily. He stated, "We have soda in the ice box, if you'd like one."

I hesitantly shook my head again as I wrapped my arms around my stomach. The action brought a minuscule amount of comfort to me. I stared at the fabric of my jacket for several minutes, taking in the sounds of laughter coming from my father and his friends. Shortly after, Charlie reluctantly decided to head home. When I heard him telling his friend goodbye, I looked up and found Jacob gazing at me. I was surprisingly anxious now knowing that I was about to leave Jacob's warming presence. He gave a soft smile that I returned with some effort. He quietly asked, "Will I see you again?"

I nodded, but stayed in the same position I had been in for the last half hour. Physically, I couldn't move. Charlie was hugging Billy when Jacob's eyes flickered toward them. He brought his intense gaze back to me and he whispered, "Soon?"

I nodded again and whispered back, "When is good for you?"

He gave a brilliant, but slow and easy smile. "Anytime. Any day."

I nodded for a third time before standing up. I pushed the chair closer to the small table and said, "Bye Jake. See you later."

His smile stayed in place as I walked toward the front door. He said, "Bye, Bella. See you soon."

_Soon._

I stepped out of the front door as Charlie held it open and called out, "Bye, Jake! It was good to see you, kid!"

"Bye, Charlie." Jacob came walking toward the front door as Charlie and I made our way down the porch steps. Jacob was still watching us and smiling as we got into the cruiser. Charlie pulled out of the drive and I felt the coldness seep even deeper inside of my hollowed out frame.

It seemed Jacob kept the ice at bay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** _Alright, everybody. This chapter is serious. Bella is overly emotional, which I find to be understanding considered the "zombie" state she was in. Coming out of that numb state is difficult and personally challenging for her. Please give me reviews on your opinion of her struggle. Mainly, what do you think of the important conversation at the end?_

Friday was terrible. Every day in my life was crappy, but Friday was especially horrid. The nightmares were still present in my subconscious, but I had come to expect them nightly. I knew what I would dream about, always Victoria hurting Charlie. Victoria killing me. Killing Renee. Killing Phil. And Charlie. Always Charlie. Sometimes, at random intervals, I would dream of the Cullens. Most of the time they were red-eyed and attacking me.

But Thursday night's nightmare was different.

Victoria killed Jacob.

I woke up screaming at such a high-pitched volume that the strain on my throat caused my voice to break off painfully. By mid-morning I couldn't talk at all. Not that I bothered trying to talk. Teachers effortlessly overlooked me in class, which gave me plenty of time to float in my strange limbo, somewhere between reality and another world entirely. That world was a welcomed place for my mind to escape and hide.

Unfortunately, I was in that world when my math teacher decided to break normal procedure and ask me a question following his previous lecture. I was slumped in the desk with my arms across my stomach, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. I hadn't even heard the teacher call my name. I had no idea how long I sat there, blankly staring, until the teacher set his hand on my shoulder. The touch was startling and completely unwelcome. My body had jerked violently and I had gasped loud enough for the entire class to hear. A blush pooled deeply on my cheeks as the teacher frowned and whispered, "Maybe you should go to the nurse, Ms. Swan. Perhaps I should call Chief Swan to pick you up-"

"No…" I mumbled as my face continued to flush, "Uh, no sir. I'm fine."

For the rest of the day I felt classmates' eyes scorching unkind looks into my back. And by the time the last class ended, I was yearning to go home. But I found myself passing through Forks and driving my truck to the La Push Reservation instead. I nearly turned around once my mind returned from its numb state and realized what I was doing, but I didn't.

I replayed Jacob's words to me over and over, like a chant, in my mind as I pulled into the Blacks' driveway and killed the engine. I bit my bottom lip for several seconds before opening the truck door and hoping down. I landed on the muddy ground and slipped, but caught myself on the edge of the driver-side door. I took a deep breath, mentally reminded myself that Jacob wanted me here, and slammed the truck door.

I stumbled up the porch steps and knocked timidly on the front door. A moment passed and I nearly knocked again, but I halted when I thought of Billy in his wheelchair. _Maybe he was slower at getting to the front door than most people because of his disability?_ But after another long minute, I knocked again. I listened intently, but heard no motion from inside. Bewildering and crushing disappointment crumpled what little armor I had left for the day. Tears rose in my eyes, but I wiped them away impatiently and started walking back to my truck.

My feet slipped and suddenly I was gazing up at the heavily-clouded sky. I could feel the cold mud seeping through my clothes and hair, but I didn't move. The tears that had been teetering on an edge came storming through and burst from my eyes. Silent and deadly, the tears welled and fell unchecked. After a prolonged moment, I forced myself to stand. I was shaking and I could feel the sobs wanting to come forward, but I held them at bay. I have to get home first. _I have to get home first._ _Can't be in the Blacks' front yard, crying my eyes out. Get home first, Bella._

I chanted to myself as I fumbled with opening the driver-side door. I had just wrenched it open through blurry eyes with shaking hands when I heard a familiar, cheerful voice call out to me. I froze. I could hear other voices, unfamiliar voices, babbling. They got closer and Jacob called out again. I still didn't face him. Panic set in.

People were with him, probably his friends. I wiped at my eyes feverishly and tried desperately to stop the sniffles, but the tears kept falling. My body kept trembling. _I'm crazy. I'm so horribly crazy._

"Bella?" Jacob's voice was most definitely closer than before and he sounded uncertain and worried as he approached the side of my truck. I stood still as he took in my form. He waved off his jabbering, laughing friends as they began to walk around the side of the truck too. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and childishly turned my back so the strangers wouldn't see me.

Jacob spoke firmly, "Go home guys. I'll catch up with you later."

There was a confused protest from one boy and an amused snort from another. I heard, but could not see, as one joked, "Need time with your girl, Jakey boy?"

I couldn't hear what Jacob said in reply, but I could make out the oddly aggressive tone of his voice as he whispered to his friends. Seconds passed, but they seemed like years. I was full of dread and embarrassment and anger and confusion by the time I felt Jacob's warm touch on my shoulder.

He whispered, "You're all wet, Bella. Let's go inside and find you some dry clothes."

I allowed him to take my hand and carefully lead me inside the house. He asked gently, "Did you fall in the yard?"

I nodded wordlessly. He cursed under his breath, and I was mildly surprised, but was too overwhelmed to care. He let my hand go and walked down a dark, narrow hallway. I watched through with filmy vision as he opened a door, stepped into a room, and came back holding a clean towel. He handed it to me and pointed toward the door that stood ajar. He said, "That's our bathroom. It's tiny, but you can go ahead and use it. I'm going to dig around for dry clothes."

I nodded as the tears continued to fall. Shakily, I walked down the hallway. I passed one door that was shut before I came to the opened bathroom door. I could see another door that stood ajar at the end of the small hallway as I entered the bathroom. I leaned against the wall, with my eyes shut, for an unknown amount of time. I waited until the tears subsided before pushing away from the wall and turning the sink's faucet on. The water sputtered a few times before it began to run smoothly. Blankly, I watched the water run before sticking my hands underneath the stream and splashing the coolness across my eyes. When my hands came away with small traces of makeup, I took the time to firmly scrub away all traces of it.

I was just finishing when Jacob knocked and softly called out, "I have clothes, Bella. They're mine. I'm sorry, but my sisters' old stuff was gotten rid of a while back."

There was a sweet, but painful tug on my heart at his words. _Why did he care? My God, why did this sweet boy care?_ I opened the bathroom door and stared. Jacob's long hair was tied back in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. He was wearing a faded, plain, gray t-shirt and a thin, brown jacket with stained jeans. He was in socks, so he must have taken his boots off. I looked up at his face and felt my eyes water up again.

The sobs started before I could prepare to fend them off. I leaned forward, without thinking, and collapsed against his chest. The fabric of his jacket was rough against my cheek and emotions were roaring through me at such a brutal speed that I thought I would die.

_Surely I would die from this much pain._

His hands came up and caged my body to his in a very comforting, gentle way. The clothes he had been holding fluttered to the hallway floor as he held me. His voice was a bare thread of sound as my body jolted with each vile sob that forced its way out. He whispered the same thing over and over again, "Let it out, Bella, just let it out…"

At some point, I gripped his shirt with my fist and leaned against him with my full weight, although I didn't become aware of it until much later. A particularly wretched sob hit me hard enough that I gagged and my breath shuddered outward in a shuddering gust. Jacob's soothing voice rose slightly as one hand began to rub in between my shoulder blades tenderly. "I'm here, Bella, I'm always going to be around for you."

I didn't understand his words or why he said them. He was a boy, barely fifteen years old, and I was broken. Destroyed even. He was a kid that couldn't possibly understand how I felt or why I felt the way I did. He was too happy and shined so brightly; my world was tainted with an evil creature and the supernatural. I was crazy; he wasn't. He had a full and wonderful life ahead of him; I didn't imagine that for myself. It was madness to allow this to occur, to be in Jacob's house, clinging to him like my own personal life preserver. In the back of my mind, I knew that I would ruin him. If I stayed near him, allowed him to assist me as he so passionately told me he wanted to just days before, then I would eventually care for him too deeply. And that would cause worse problems. _How could I possibly let this happen anymore?_

I was selfish. That was the only fairly logical answer I had for my life. I needed this boy because I was selfish. I needed him, I realized, because he truly was a life preserver. I didn't know why I felt so connected to him or why he was so easy to be around. I didn't understand why he so willingly wanted to deal with me or why I continued to find the both of us in such delicate, personal situations, but I knew that I needed him.

As dramatic as it sounded, I needed him.

Eventually my sobs died away and my throat was left aching. My eyes were swollen and tender. My uneven breathing continued for some time until the soothing rise and fall of Jacob's chest calmed me. We didn't speak until I finally pulled away from him. I wiped at my wet face and bent down for the articles of clothing.

Jacob stepped back, so I could step into the bathroom. Quietly he said, "I'm going to make a sandwich. I'll be in the kitchen when you're finished, Bella."

I nodded silently and watched him walk down the tiny hallways before I closed the bathroom door. I took several private moments to wash my heated face before stripping down to my bra and panties. I patted my damp skin dry as best I could with the towel Jacob had given me before slipping the large t-shirt over my head. It was a thermal, long-sleeved shirt in a deep navy blue color that fell to the bottom of my backside. The sleeves had to be rolled up four times before they reached my elbows. The dark short material was made of nylon and was baggy on my slender hips. They slipped down my waist continuously, so I searched the cabinet for a pin.

I found none. So I held my soiled clothes in one arm while keeping the opposite on the waistband of Jacob's shorts as I walked toward the kitchen. Jacob turned from the kitchen countertop as he heard me shuffling forward. He looked somber, but calm as he came forward and gestured to the pile of clothes.

Hesitantly, I handed over my jeans, shirt, and jacket. He quietly said, "I can throw these in the washer. Give me a minute."

He walked out of the sliding glass door. I stood in the kitchen and listened to the sound of a rattling, old washer lurch into action from outside on the patio. Jacob returned a minute later and slid the door closed. He went back to the countertop and continued making his sandwich. He asked in the same quiet tone, "Would you like a sandwich too? I have sliced ham or leftover pot roast from Sue Clearwater."

When I didn't answer, he looked at me. I blinked and tightened my grip on the waistband of his shorts before clearing my throat. The pain in my throat flared up and I tried not to wince. My voice cracked sorely as I whispered, "Can I have…water?"

His expressive eyes flared with concern as he reached his long hand upward and pulled a glass cup from the cupboard. He filled it with tap water before bringing it to me. I whispered scratchily, "Thank you…" and collapsed into a wobbly kitchen chair. The water was a relief to my flaming throat and I drank without talking as Jacob sat across from me. Silence caressed us, but somehow, it wasn't nearly as awkward as any of the last times. It was like our beings were laid out for each to see. It was as if there wasn't anything left to feel awkward about. I gripped the empty glass tightly in my hands for several minutes. Jacob never spoke, never questioned. He ate his sandwich quietly. I stole glances at him, but never caught him watching me.

It took a few more minutes before I parted my lips and said the very first thing I could think of. Just like he told me to do in the garage.

"I had a terrible day at school today."

I kept staring at my hands, which were clutching the glass cup on top of the tabletop, but peeked at Jacob's face. He had stopped chewing and was looking at me. He didn't look like he pitied me or was upset with me. He looked at me with casual understanding. He replied, "That sucks. Sometimes school can really ruin a day."

Relieved, I nodded and focused my eyes back on my fingers. They were clutching the cup tightly enough that my skin was pulled taut against the knuckles. I forced myself to loosen my grip and slowly said, "I tend to…uh, space out in class. My teachers normally just overlook me."

I gulped and added, "Today my math teacher called on me to answer a question. I was so…distracted that I didn't hear him."

Jacob didn't say a word, so I mumbled, "He touched my shoulder. I guess he was trying to get my attention, but he surprised me, so I freaked. Caught the whole class's attention."

A moment of silence passed before he quietly replied, "Well, it was math class. Anyone who can pay strict attention with a subject like that needs a good hobby to better occupy their time. I space out in math class too."

He paused and snorted, "Hell, I space out in every class I have."

The small smile that touched my lips didn't surprise me this time. I didn't look at him because I didn't think I could handle it yet, so I kept staring at my hands. Finally I whispered, "I used to pay attention in every class. I used to really like school."

He whispered, "There's nothing saying you won't like it again one day."

I shook my head and said, "I don't think I will."

I paused before saying, "I don't like much of anything anymore."

"So…you've lost interest in things you liked before?"

I nodded silently. My hands tightened on the glass cup again.

"Can you tell me something?"

I shrugged. And waited. There was a pregnant pause before Jacob softly asked, "What's your purpose then?"

I answered instantly and roughly, "Charlie."

Jacob repeated, "Charlie. Good. Why is he your motivation?"

I looked up at him and blinked. He met my gaze steadily, but I could see softness in his eyes. His hands were clasped together on the table, like mine were on the cup. I frowned and slowly said, "I don't understand…"

He repeated, "Why is Charlie your motivation? Think hard."

I bit my lip and shook my head, but Jacob whispered, "Bella, if he is your purpose, then I need you to really answer this question. I only want to help you."

I obeyed him after a brief hesitation. It took some time before I answered truthfully, "When I first…started spacing out, I thought Charlie wasn't noticing. About two weeks ago, I realized he did notice. Worse…I realized I was hurting Charlie like Ed-" I broke off abruptly and fumbled before finishing, "…like I was hurt."

I paused and blinked rapidly until the tears disappeared. Jacob murmured encouragement until I continued, "All I thought about was how I was the cause of Charlie's pain. And I didn't want that. I can't handle that fact, so…I decided I need to attempt…fixing myself."

I took a deep breath as Jacob responded, "You're already beginning to fix yourself, Bella. Just by trying to get back up after you have been knocked down is a great start. Sitting here and talking to me is a huge step."

I shrugged and mumbled, "Yeah, crying into hysteria on you twice in a week is definitely a huge step."

He reached across the table and briefly touched my fingers. I stiffened rigidly and his hand retreated slowly. "You can cry on me anytime you feel the need to. Do you remember what I said about not suppressing your emotions?"

My body relaxed somewhat and I nodded. He gave me a soft smile before asking, "Do you want to go to the garage for a while? Maybe it'll get your mind off of things. You think?"

I replied croakily, "We can go after my jeans are washed and dried; your shorts are way too big, Jacob."

He smiled and chuckled before plopping back down in his chair. He cleared his throat a moment later and said, "Hey, for the record, my friends call me Jake."

One of the mangled pieces; inside my hollowed-self, that hadn't been ripped from my body, pulsed weakly at his acceptance. That torn piece warmed considerably when I replied quietly, "Okay…Jake." and he grinned sunnily.

_Hope you enjoyed! I would love to hear what you think!:) THANK YOU for the previous reviews on the last chapter and for ALL who have read so far! But, honestly, how heartwarming is the conversation above? Seriously? *sigh:)*  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: IMPORTANT CHAPTER. Lots of things happening. Let me know what you think. **_Also, this is going to sound completely nerdy and loser-ish:), but my boyfriend asked how many people had read the story so far. I showed him all the visitors, but told him I didn't know exactly who has come back to read the other chapters. Maybe yall could, you know, raise your hands and leave a review that says "Hey, I read it." or "Present."? That way I won't be pulling a made up number for him. If not, that's okay.  
_

_Thank you so much **megan39** and **tonyamic10**_:)

**Warning:** **There's a** **bit of cursing here. The F-Bomb is dropped once...aaaand a violent threat is given.  
**

Weeks passed unhurriedly. The majority of my time was spent in a thick gloom that I couldn't shake; but I paraded on. The nightmares didn't stop completely, but they quit finding me every night. My days were normally tedious, but sometimes the terrible agony would rush upward and snatch me with poisonous, sharp claws. Often it was unexpected and always it was brutal. I called those Terror Days. On Terror Days, I sought out Jake. He was my saving grace. When I found myself too weak or too overwhelmed, I drove to La Push and clung to him. To my life-preserver. He was there. Every time, every day, any time; just like he told me in the garage on our first serious encounter. Nothing miraculous happened; there was no sudden cure for my sickness.

The sickness stayed and I vastly doubted it would ever dissipate.

But there were good things that came out of my terrible illness. Over time, I could voice my thoughts without fear of ridicule. Jacob and I had started a game of sorts.

When I felt a strong thought or emotion, I would immediately tell Jake what that thought or emotion was. I would explain, to the best of my ability, what I was thinking or feeling. If I didn't know _why_ my mind was thinking a certain idea or thought, Jake and I would talk it out until I better understood my feelings or thoughts. It was a difficult process, but aided me in understanding my confusing mind. Also, I came to grasp the fact that Jake understood me more than any person I'd ever known. Better than Charlie. Better than Renee or any of my friends from Phoenix. Better, even, than _him._ Than the Cullens.

My mind told me that it was feasibly possible for Jake's mind to be on the same wave length, same page, same channel, as mine was. I had conformation from…supernatural sources that my mind was completely different than any humans'. There was a strong chance that Jake's brain ran on the same unusual channel as mine did; that was why he understood me so flawlessly.

My heart told me that my mind was an idiot. My heart told me that Jake and I had a deeper connection. Less calculated and more…emotional. Open. Soulful. I found it impossible not to care for him to the dangerous point of love. Being around him, seeing him, talking to him, was as easy as breathing. I did it without voluntary thought or actions. He could make me laugh at the darkest period in my life. His voice soothed me like a warm palm on frostbitten hands. I was terrified for the people that I cared for every hour of every day. My thoughts were consumed with horrors that the human world believed to be false, but I knew the truth. And it was that truth that haunted me constantly. Yet Jake could make me forget my troubles.

He had such energy about him, an aura that drew me in and had me yearning to feel exactly as he did. He acted so free, so untouched and unafraid of the terribleness of the world. He had something that nobody could harm; a golden spirit. The pull I felt for him wasn't like anything I had experienced before; it was a completely different pull than what I had felt for…_him._ This pull was a gentle, glowing tug that brought me closer to the sun. He was the sunbeams and brilliant wonder that brought substance to a dying flower.

He was magical.

And I was sure that his magic was working on me by a small degree. The flower wasn't dying any longer. She wasn't exactly living, but she wasn't dying. She was wilted with limp petals, but she was alive. _That had to count for something. _I exited my truck, climbed the porch, opened the front door to the Blacks' household and stepped through the door. Loud, male voices and snickering echoed from the back patio. I walked to the glass door, slid it open, and walked outside. Standing in the middle of the backyard, circling around one another, were Jake and one of his two best friends; Quil Ateara.

Quil also happened to be Jake's first cousin. He was a cocky, flirty, and immature fifteen year old. He had a bulky build, but was on the shorter side. I doubted that he was more than five foot ten. For the most part, he was shallow and constantly pranking people. He had a carefree nature, similar to Jake in that aspect, but Quil was also inappropriate the majority of the time. From what I could tell, Quil wasn't shy about the subject of sex and had no qualms bringing the topic up when I was around. I seriously believed he talked about it simply because he knew it embarrassed me.

Against all odds, I liked Quil.

He could make me laugh even if I was blushing while laughing at his inaptness. He annoyed me on occasion, but I knew how deeply Jake cared for him. They were like brothers, so I made a point to find positive qualities in Quil over the past month.

Embry Call, Jake and Quil's _other _best friend, was crouched near the end of the patio slab. His long, dark hair was hanging down his wiry muscled back. He was only wearing a thin t-shirt despite the cold bite to the air around us. He was quiet and had yet to notice me standing several feet behind him. He was taller than Quil, but not nearly as tall as Jake; he was discreet and more reserved compared to Quil's brazenness and Jake's friendliness. According to Jake, Embry was extremely clever and only confident in conversation with the people closest to him.

He talked to me sporadically, depending on what the conversation was; for the most part I didn't speak to him, though. But I liked him anyways. He reminded me of myself at certain times. Once, I had even had a pleasant conversation with him over a Shakespearean play while Jake and Quil had listened in confusion.

I took a step forward, watching in amused curiosity as Quil taunted Jake.

"Yeah, Black, what in the hell do you go? Bring it!"

Jake's face was a contrast of relaxation compared to his tensed body. He was grinning and chuckling, but his body was in a striking pose. Quil looked like an awkward child squaring off against an ancient warrior. Quil stepped forward, but Jake swiftly side-stepped Quil's punch.

Jake stepped backward toward the edge of the house and out of view. Quil trailed after him, loudly muttering aggressive curse words. Embry stood up and started following the boys. I trotted after Embry and I must have been noisy because Embry turned suddenly and I nearly ran into him. He caught me before I could fall and quietly greeted, "Hey, Bella."

"Hey, Embry." I answered distractedly as we rounded the side of the Blacks' house. Quil lunched forward sloppily, but landed a solid punch to Jake's left shoulder. I watched as the left side of his body flew backwards. For an instant, I was afraid he would fall, but he caught himself smoothly and danced out of the way as Quil tossed another punch.

He was grinning widely as Quil cursed and demanded, "What are you playing around for!? Do something already!"

Embry and I stepped closer, but stayed a few yards from them. Jake circled to the right and Quil whirled around quickly. I could see that Quil was getting legitimately frustrated, but knew that he would get over it sooner rather than later. Jake asked, "Are you sure you can handle it?"

Quil snorted and told Jake where he could shove it. I flinched at the harsh words, but knew I would eventually get used to it; all three of them cursed plenty. But Jake was the only one who made an effort to lighten up around me.

Quil yelled, "Come on, you prick!"

Jake laughed cheerfully.

Quil threw a punch, but Jake deflected it with a slap of his forearm. Quil huffed in anger, but didn't have time to do anything more because Jake suddenly struck out quicker than a whip. His mile-long leg kicked out and hooked around the back of Quil's upper calf. He yanked with great effort. As if in slow motion, Quil's brute body started to crumple to the ground. Jake lashed out with his fist and landed a very solid, very painful looking hit to Quil's upper chest.

My eyes widened and I let out a small gasp.

Quil's breath huffed out in a noisy _oomph_ followed by an immediate compact _smack_ as his heavy body hit the ground. Jake danced fluently out of the way when Quil's legs smashed to the ground where Jake's feet had been moments before. My eyes were widened in delight and I let out a whoop before I could contain myself. Jake's head shot up and he grinned when he spotted me next to Embry. He opened his mouth as if he was about to shout joyfully to me when Embry's suddenly loud curse caused both Jake and me to jerk in surprise.

I followed Embry's line of site at the same time Jake did.

And I was instantly anxious. Striding from across the narrow, muddy road was three very massive, very muscled, very intimidating, and _very_ half-naked Native American men. All wore tanned masks of solemnity and towered over six feet tall. They were an awe-filled sight to see wearing absolutely nothing in the freezing weather of Washington besides cut up shorts. Their bare chests were chiseled and unbelievably broad. All three of them had short, messily cut hair that was abnormal for Quileute men. Their thick legs ate up the space between us faster than I expected.

The most hostile of the three stalked straight to Jacob and grabbed him by the shirt. I was darting across the yard before I could even think.

"What do you think you're doing, Black, huh?" The stranger demanded in a scornful tone, "Just because you're Chief Junior doesn't mean you get to pick on the lesser people, kid."

As I came closer, Quil scrambled to his feet and demanded, "What in the fuck are you doing?! Let him go right now!"

The oldest looking of the three men loudly stated, "Enough!"

Quil and the two hostile strangers froze. I had no idea where Embry was, but I didn't stop running until I was pushing past Quil. I demanded, "Get the hell off of him!"

Anger was coursing through my veins, crashing into me and taking over. I shoved as hard as I could on the man's bare shoulder. He didn't even budge. Jake never took his eyes off of the man who was clutching him by the shirt. But he whispered, "Bella, I want you to go inside now."

His voice was steady and hard as steel. I glanced anxiously at his face just as the oldest stranger stepped forward and grasped the man holding Jake tightly. He spoke in an authoritative, deep voice, "Let go of Jacob and calm down. Now, Paul."

The one called Paul didn't loosen his hold at first. But after a moment he chuckled violently and slammed Jake's body against the side of my truck. A distressed sound left my mouth and my body physically jolted as Jake's body made heavy contact with the truck metal.

Quil cursed heavily and was trying to step forward when the third stranger grabbed Quil's arms and detained him almost effortlessly. I couldn't take my eyes off of Jake and the giant man called Paul. My heart was hammering against my ribs. Jake didn't look scared or angry; he looked completely calm. His chest was heaving slightly, but he seemed so calm.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I shoved at the oldest stranger beside me. I demanded, "Take them and go away! Leave Jake alone!"

He was frowning and he had an out-of-place look of exasperation on his face. He turned away from me, gripped Paul's shoulder again and demanded lowly, "Paul Lahote, if you don't let Jacob go and walk away from this place right now I swear I will have you wishing you were dead by tomorrow night."

His threatening promise was enough to cause my heart to skip a beat, but Paul Lahote didn't seem fazed. It took a dreadfully long time before Paul dropped Jake and abruptly stalked away, going across the road and disappearing into the forest. The oldest one nodded curtly and spoke politely and in a strained voice, "I'm sorry for this misunderstanding. We thought you and Quil were having a serious confrontation. We only came to intervene and stop the fight. I should have dealt with Paul better, Jacob, so I apologize for the inconvenience."

_"Inconvenience?"_ Quil demanded from behind me and snorted, "You and your two followers are sincerely messed up in the head. Do you have a few screws loose? Or likely several?"

The oldest glanced at Quil with indifference before turning back to Jake. I stepped forward shakily and purposely put myself in between Jake's body and the space near the man. Jake's arms wrapped around my waist and he held me closely. He spoke calmly, "I don't care what you have to say, Sam Uley. My father will be hearing about this and I can only hope he'll see reason this time around. You, Paul and Jared are dangerous."

The one called Jared chuckled as he shoved Quil to the side. Quil caught his balance as Embry finally came forward from where he was hovering. When Quil took a step toward Jared, Embry slapped his hand across Quil's chest. He quietly stated, "Stop this, Quil. Do you want to get your ass kicked?"

Quil and Embry glared at one another for several seconds before my attention was brought back toward Sam Uley and Jake. Sam nodded and spoke in an almost saddened tone, "I'm truly sorry you feel this way, Jake. I can say, with deep regret, that you'll understand us one day."

He gestured to Jared and then they disappeared into the forest just like Paul Lahote had. As soon as they were out of sight, Quil began to curse animatedly. He shoved on Embry and demanded, "Where were you at, man? You were acting like a punk. Did you not see Lahote screwing with our brother?"

Embry looked conflicted and I nearly started to defend him, but Jake beat me to it. He sighed heavily and his warm breath caressed my ear. His hands tightened on my waist when I tried to step out of his grasp, so I stayed where I was at. I could feel his body trembling slightly as he said, "Lay off of him, Quil. It is over and done with."

Quil whirled around and asked, "Are you serious, Jake?"

Jake nodded and said, "Getting into an argument with Em isn't going to help the situation, so calm down. I'm mad too. We're all mad."

Quil snorted, "You sure as hell aren't showing it." But he dropped the anger and came to lean against my truck mere feet from Jake and me. His body was warm and comfortable, but when I glanced at Jake and saw the emotions in his eyes, I knew that he was thinking of this embrace in a different way than I was. I wiggled until Jake reluctantly released me. I took a step back and my body immediately missed his warmth, but my mind was praising me for putting noticeable distance between us. I ran my hands through my hair and asked, "What just happened?"

Quil angrily replied, "You just met the assholes of the Rez, Bella."

Jake elaborated seriously, "The majority of everyone at school calls them the La Push Gang. Nobody knows what they really do or what they're into, but they always act like that. They're arrogant and so…so…"

"Hostile?" I supplied quietly. I glanced up; saw the familiar, intense way Jake was looking at me and quickly looked down. I listened as Jake continued, "Yeah, they're hostile. The one who acted like he was running the show? The one who threatened Paul? His name is Sam Uley. He's the oldest out of the three. I think he's twenty. Paul Lahote was the one who grabbed ahold of me; he's nineteen. Sam and Paul have been friends since any of us can remember. Jared Cameron didn't start following them around until last year. He just turned seventeen; he's only a year ahead of us in school."

I asked, "Does he go to school with you guys every day?"

Jake shook his head and answered gravely, "He missed a week of school randomly. The next week, the news spreads that he dropped out. Just up and quit school. Three days later I saw him running around the beach with Sam and Paul. I asked Dad about it and he acted as if nothing was wrong. Said Jared wasn't the type to do well with academics and he was better off with Sam and Paul."

My jaw dropped and I was left speechless. Quil snorted when he saw my expression and muttered, "That's exactly how we felt. Imagine how we feel when we see those pricks strutting around the Rez like they're important."

I stuttered, "I-I don't get it. What do they do? What do you mean, Quil?"

Quil answered bitterly, "They're like hall monitors on steroids. They patrol the Rez and stop any negative activity."

I questioned, "Negative activity?"

"Yeah," Jake sighed and explained, "Dad and the elders have put them in place to protect the tribe. They're all nutso about ancient traditions; they call themselves Protectors of Our People. They watch the teenagers mostly."

"They stop any parties and make sure to catch any of us out after curfew." Quil explained huffily, "I heard from Doug Lakerock that he was out with Shelly last weekend. They were on the beach at about midnight. He said Lahote walked right up to him and Shelly in the middle of them making out and just started screaming like a madman until Shelly started crying."

Jake's face held a look of disgust. I watched him for a moment; he caught me looking so I glanced away and blushed. I let my mind process all of their explanations until I asked, "So what's their deal with you, Jake? Paul went straight for you."

I faced him and my anger came surging back as I replayed Paul slamming Jake's body into my truck. Jake shrugged and rubbed at the back of his neck; that was his sign of frustration. I bit my lip and said, "Never mind, Jake, we don't have to talk about it."

"No, no," He claimed, "I might as well tell you."

He sighed deeply and quietly said, "Lahote has hated me for years because I'm the Chief's son. He assumes that I think I'm above him and full of power or something along those lines. I don't know what Sam Uley's deal is. Sometimes…I just catch him watching me."

Red alerts started flashing in my mind and my anger turned to unease. I demanded, "Watches you? What do you mean by watches you?"

He shrugged a shoulder and kept rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't meet my eyes when I took a slow step toward him, which was the indicator that told me this particular subject truly troubled him; Jake knew how to use his eyes. I caught him staring strongly at me when he thought I couldn't tell. And over the last week or so, it was a fleeting game of cat and mouse we had begun to play.

Somehow, he knew his eyes affected me greatly, so he made a point to try and catch my gaze. When I made eye contact in casual conversation, his would burn directly through me. The feeling was uncomfortable, yet it felt right in an odd sense. A thousand words flowed without difficulty between us when our eyes collided. It was a remarkable phenomenon that both of us silently felt and acknowledged; but he was the one who attempted it every chance he got.

So for him to purposely glance away from my blatant look was a huge alarm.

I gulped and asked, "Are you scared of them?"

When he didn't say a word, I stepped forward and touched his tensed forearm. I could see Quil and Embry discreetly walking away from the Blacks' yard and down the road toward Quil's house. I murmured, "Jake…?"

A soft gust of air left his full lips before I fiercely said, "You can come and stay with me. Charlie won't mind. I can even get Charlie to speak sense into Billy."

He looked up then. And I was held by his enchanting gaze. He asked, "You would do that for me?"

I nodded and said, "Yeah." I paused before saying, "_Hell _yeah. Of course, I would for you."

When stared at each other for a silent instant before he whispered, "Why?"

I was stunned by his question. I wasn't sure what answer I could give him without blurring the lines of our already intense friendship. He murmured, "I thought we were past suppressing thoughts and emotions, honey?"

The nickname was new and progressed to stun me further. But as I kept looking at him, I realized that he was completely unaware that he had spoken the word _honey._ He looked intense as he always did. His dark eyes were warming every inch of me that he mentally touched.

He asked again, "Why?"

I shook my head. He kept staring and whispered passionately, _"Why?"_

I didn't understand why this question was so important to him or why he pushed me even after I was hesitant, but he had never been anything but gentle with me before, so I chalked it up to him being under severe stress from those goons.

Angrily I blurted, "Because I care about you, Jacob. Because you mean so much to me that I can't stand to see you upset. I can't protect you from those guys, but if I put distance between you and them, and if I get Charlie on our side, then you could be protected properly."

A soft smile lit up his face after a second. He huskily said, "I care about you too, Bella, more than you probably know."

I was leery of his declaration, but even so, another tiny, slaughtered shard of me was warmed and softly bandaged by his words. I cleared my throat and stepped back from him. I saw the pleasure drain a minor bit from his eyes when I stepped away from him. That caused a pang of hurt to punch my broken heart.

I quietly asked, "So do you need to stay with me?"

As an afterthought I added, "And Charlie?"

Jake shook his head and replied, "If the time comes, I'll deal with them."

I bit my bottom lip and shook my head, "I don't want you to get hurt, Jake; that would likely destroy me completely."

I didn't allow myself to feel embarrassment at my thoughts; this was our game. I voice my thoughts and Jake questions and then dissects each aspect. Jake's burning gaze was back in place, but his voice was steady and casual as he questioned, "Why do you feel that way?"

"Because I care about you." I answered and paused while searching my own mind for answers to my own feelings, "Because you're my best friend and the person that understands me better than I understand myself."

I kept my gaze locked with his as he swallowed and hoarsely said, "I can say the same thing about you, Bells."

I gave a soft, small, real smile at the nickname only Jake was allowed to call me. We walked into his house and while he went to the refrigerator to find food, I went to the lumpy sofa and flipped the TV on. Jake plopped down beside me and wordlessly offered a bag of chips.

We munched in compatible silence and watched the brightly colored cartoon on the television until the sky darkened and I drove home.

_Hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading:)_


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** _Thank you for reviewing:) I'm posting this (Chapter Six) AND Chapter Seven at the same time because they were originally one massive chapter._

The next morning I woke just past dawn with my body covered in sweat and my heart pumping deeply. In my dreams, Victoria had gotten to Jake. Silent tears streamed down my red, sweaty cheeks in rivers and my breath came out in slightly hysterical bursts. As the flashing picture of Jake's distorted face forced its way into my mind, I raked my fingers against my scalp and yanked on my hair painfully until the vision disappeared. Time passed, whether mere minutes or hours, I wasn't sure. Eventually I heard Charlie wake and lumber downstairs. My body was stiff in some places and unbelievably sore in others. I waited until I heard Charlie's exit from the house before I shuffled to the bathroom across the hallway. I glanced at my face and winced.

I looked like death.

My face was pastier than normal with dark bruises under my bloodshot eyes. Angry, red blotches spotted their way down my neck and upper chest. My hair was a knotted mass of tangles and sweat caused my skin to look oily. So I showered with steaming water; I let it beat a tattoo across my back and soaped my hair and body twice before dressing. I felt restless with the nightmare creeping and lurking within the darkest corners of my mind, and by the time I had successfully brushed my hair out I decided to call Jake.

It was barely past seven in the morning, so I hesitated and distracted myself with washing dishes and drinking a cup of coffee. It was an hour later that I couldn't wait any longer; I was so irrationally anxious over him. _It was only a dream, only a dream._ _Why was I so worried? _He was fine. Perfectly fine. _Probably sleeping in on a Saturday morning. Probably stayed up half the night working on his car in the garage._ Jake was okay.

On the fourth ring, I began to bit my lip. On the sixth ring, my fingernails were biting into the delicate skin of my wrist. A gravelly voice mumbled, "Hello?"

I exhaled heavily and breathlessly said, "Billy, hi. Is Jake home?"

There was a paused before an exhausting sounding Billy answered, "He's in the garage, Bella…"

I frowned at the unusual tone in his voice and asked, "Is everything okay, Billy?"

"Sure, sure." Billy answered uncharacteristically voided of emotion.

I frowned deeper and slowly said, "Well, I'll be heading over soon."

He mumbled unintelligible words before hanging up. I stared blankly at the phone in my hand before perching it on top of the phone-base. I raced upstairs awkwardly and brushed my teeth as fast as possible. Unfortunately, I had to slow down and carefully apply concealer to the dark bruises under my eyes. When I was satisfied that I appeared moderately _not _dead, I trotted to my truck and drove as fast as the old truck could handle.

I pulled into the Blacks' driveway at a more reasonable pace, killed the engine and hoped out of the cab. I had to be cautious across their slippery front yard, but I found that I had an almost primal _need_ to get to Jacob. To find him. To find out what was wrong because there _was_ something wrong. I just knew it. There was an instinct inside of my chest urging me to find him. Billy's out of character phone conversation only added to my suspicions. I slid and stumbled my way to the back yard where I hastily walked across the grass and up the leafy slope. I made it nearly to the top before my left boot stuck on a branch and I went down. I gasped at the stinging discomfort in my knee, but quickly got to my feet and jogged to the garage. The doors were closed, which wasn't usual for Jake. There was no rain and he only shut the doors while working if the rain was falling in heavy sheets.

I couldn't hear music playing from his old radio either, which was also odd; he and the boys loved music. I frowned and gripped the wooden handles of one of the doors in my hands. Inhaling and tensing my muscles, I heaved on the door a few times until I managed to pull it opened. I peered inside the dimly lit building, but didn't see Jake. I took a step into the building with my mind racing to think of where he could be. _With Embry and Quil. Embry's house? Or Quil's?_ I was turning to leave when a dark brown boot caught my attention. I stepped further into the building and stared in incomprehension at the boots, jacket, shirt and jeans on the floor.

The boots were Jake's. The clothes were clearly male clothing, so I assumed they were Jake's too. Where was he? _Oh, God, what happened?_ _Where was Jacob?_

I started to run from the garage with the intent of finding Billy and telling him what I had found, but I halted at the mouth of the garage. If his clothes were here, then he hadn't gone far. No one in their right mind would walk around, naked, in the cold temperatures of Washington.

_Right?_

My breath was coming out in shallow puffs. I sucked in a loud gust of air and called out piercingly, _"Jake!"_

Simultaneously I heard a rustling from behind me, followed by a snort and groan. Then a rough, husky, familiar voice muttered, "Bella?"

I whirled around and felt a twinge of hurt in my left leg; I ignored it completely and ran forward. There, cramped into the backseat of his car, was Jacob. My heart clutched sentimentally as I dropped to the ground at the opened door of the vehicle. My frantic eyes landed on the dark bruises running across his naked chest. I gasped as he sat up. His heavily hooded eyes were become sharper as he awakened.

"Bella?" He repeated in a low, rough voice. He cleared his throat and leaned forward, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I exclaimed as my fingertips feverishly skimmed his pectorals. I nearly sobbed as I demanded, "What happened? Why do you have bruises?" I sucked in a deep breath and blurted, "Billy. Billy sounded so weird on the phone. Jake. Your clothes." I pointed and took a hiccuping breath and shuddered, "I thought…I thought you were…" I shook my head and closed my eyes as tears welled.

Impatient with myself, I opened my eyes and met his gaze. His intense gaze. I explained, "Billy didn't sound normal when I called this morning. What happened to you? Why are you in here sleeping?"

Jake softly touched my shoulder and his voice sounded tense as he whispered, "The bruises are from Paul. And...Billy and I argued last night. I got…so angry, Bells…"

I looked up at Jake's position. He was crammed into the tiny backseat of the car wearing only a thin pair of black boxers. I completely ignored his apparel and focused intently on his face; I didn't look at the bruises on his naked chest again either.

"What happened, Jake?"

Slowly he explained, "I don't understand. When he came home, I told him exactly what happened yesterday afternoon. I even told him how Paul came barreling across the road and slammed me against your truck." He snorted bitterly and the sound was so ugly, so foreign for Jacob, that I flinched.

"I can't believe I was stupid enough to think my dad would stick up for me and actually punish Paul somehow. You know what Dad said? He told me that I must not provoke Paul. Told me that Quil and I shouldn't act so juvenile. Said that they were only doing their job and that I needed to respect Sam Uley. _Respect_ him."

There was a pregnant pause. Jake was so visibly upset that I gently touched his knee and rubbed my thumb across his skin with feather-light touches. The action blurred our friendship lines, but I knew that he needed comfort. The physical contact seemed to put us both at ease; I felt my own body relax.

"The La Push Gang is normally a sensitive subject between Dad and me, but…his words just hit me the wrong way. I won't respect aggressors. That's all they do is push kids on the Rez around. That's what I told Billy. He slammed his fists on the table and told me that I needed to try and better understand how much they aid the community."

He exhaled and covered his face with his big palms. His words were muffled as he finished, "I told Dad he was stupid for thinking any of those guys are good news. Told him I was tired of how he constantly sticks up for them and sets them on a pedestal as if they are the greatest treasures in the world."

"When he just sat there and looked at me like he was so disappointed in me, I lost it. I _really_ did."

I was afraid to speak, but when I realized Jake wasn't going to keep talking, I quietly asked, "Then what did you do?"

It was a long time before Jake murmured, "I screamed at him. And cussed a whole lot. I'm pretty sure I shocked him. Before I walked out of the house I told him…told him…he'd be lucky if he saw me anytime soon."

And then Jake sobbed. Quiet, struggling sobs that shattered my damaged heart. I felt his pain so sharply, as if it was my own. Instincts took over and I climbed forward until I was leaning halfway into the car. I wrapped my arms around Jake and held him closely. Immediately I tried soothing him.

"Shh…Jake, your dad will forgive you." I started rubbing his back and marveling at the odd sensation of feeling his bare skin. "It'll be okay. You and Billy just need time apart; people get angry and say things they don't mean."

His sobs didn't last long and they weren't nearly as dramatic as my own. He calmed down fairly fast, but we still held onto each other. We were in a bubble of sorts, a limbo much like my mind numbness, where we didn't think. We simply held onto each other and _breathed._ A deep sense of contentment was nestled inside of my hollowed stomach as I felt the warmth of Jake's skin seep into my own skin and burrow comfortably underneath all of my layers. With anyone else, this situation and position would be utterly uncomfortable.

But with Jake, it just _was._

We didn't talk because we were communicating without words; no words could touch what was passing between us with an embrace. His arms were wrapped around my waist gently. So gently, in fact, that it wasn't technically an embrace. His arms were just there for me; there if I wanted to lean into them.

So I did.

My heart was throbbing painfully with every beat and a part of my broken mind screamed at me to stop what I was doing. That piece of me didn't want to be happy, didn't want to feel okay. That part of me wanted to suffer; to suffer until I died because surely I didn't deserve happiness. And it was that morbid, repulsive thought that caused me to lean into Jake's embrace even harder. I didn't want to feel that way anymore. I was fed up.

Jake's gentle grip squeezed a fraction tighter, but he wasn't rough. I doubted Jake could ever be rough with me; he was too gentle. Too giving. Too good and whole and wonderful. Innocent and sunny and happy. He was everything that I wished to be. He reminded me of simpler times in my life. Happier times.

And it was because of all of these feelings; my fierce protective instinct toward him, my need for him, my gratitude to him, my awe of him, and my love for him, that caused me to whisper, "You're going to come stay with Charlie and me for a few days. You'll go inside and pack some things while I tell Billy what's happening. Then we'll head to Forks. And I'm going to make you the best dinner you have ever eaten."

Jake's head had been ducked low and resting against my dwarfed shoulder. Now he turned his cheek until his dark eyes, so vulnerable in contrast to how he normally appeared, stared at me.

"Do I get dessert too?" He asked while cracking a wobbly smile.

The expression was so pitiful and painful that I felt as if my heartstrings were connected directly to his; I felt what he felt. With a shaky laugh I replied, "Yes. Duh."

He nodded, but didn't release his hold on me. His lack of movement told me that he wasn't ready to face his father, so I allowed him to hold me. The confined space of his small car left little room to maneuver and with emotions running so uncontrollably before, I wasn't aware of how tightly pressed my body was to his.

Now I noticed.

Now I fully comprehended.

I was in the backseat of Jake's car, pressed against his nearly naked form with his palms clutching my waist. My head on his bare shoulder and his head on mine.

I gulped and felt my cheeks flush. _How, exactly, did this happen?_ He didn't seem uncomfortable, so I tried not to allow myself to feel any different either. This was Jake, my best friend, the person who understood me more than anyone. I was comforting him; it was only right that I give back to him for all that he had given me in the last several weeks.

As if Jake had sixth sense about my sudden realization, he began to run his left hand between my shoulder blades. That spot was always my undoing. Somehow, he knew that. And so he rubbed softly and my body relaxed considerably. Minutes later Jake sighed quietly and whispered, "How long do you want me to stay with you?" He paused and added, "And Charlie?"

I wasn't sure if I was paranoid, but I felt like his question had a double meaning. I bit my lip as his hands quit rubbing my upper back and returned to my waist. Jake held me at arm's length and raised an eyebrow in question.

I replied slowly, with two undeniable answers in my words, "As long as you want to stay with me…"

The intense emotions returned to his burning eyes. It was then that I knew his question had been a double question that he had been too afraid to ask. He gave a slow, satisfied smile that still managed to be bright even though it was gloomier in association to his truly cheerful smile.

"I guess…" He said, "I should man up and go inside now."

I nodded and tried to remove myself from his lap, but I twisted myself up like a pretzel and ended up flailing about as I tittered right off of the seat and to the concrete floor. For a split second, I saw Jake's surprised and worried expression as he lunged to catch me. But he wasn't quick enough and my back smacked the hard floor. His hand caught underneath my lower back before the bottom half of my body could smash to the ground. I blinked rapidly and tried to get the black spots out of my vision. I groaned lowly as Jake cursed.

"Oh, hell." He fretted, "Dammit. Bells? Honey, how hard did you hit your head? Don't move."

I watched in a daze as he clumsily tried to maneuver my body to the floor fully; my feet were still positioned on top of the upholstery with my legs in the air and my head, shoulders and chest aching from their short descent to the concrete floor. I mumbled dryly, "I'm fine, Jake. I always end up in ridiculous situations where normal people would never find themselves."

"Well, don't move." He tried to demand, but he sounded so frightened that any authority in his tone was blown right out of the window. I grimaced as he eyed my body in a strange, glassy way. I started to move, but he cried, "Don't move, Bella!"

I froze and asked, "What is it?"

Then I smelled it. Rusty. Copper. Blood. My head began to fill with murky fog as soon as the odor filled my nostrils. I mumbled, "Blood. I'm bleeding."

"Yeah," Jake crouched beside me and eyed the lower half of my body. His voice was fretful, but not as scared as before.

"It isn't as bad as I first thought. I only got a glimpse before now; it's not deep." He turned from my face and examined my leg. I leaned back on my elbows and tried to take shallow breaths, but the coppery smell was stuck inside my nose.

"I don't see how you could have cut yourself on such a short fall, Bells," Jake sounded perplexed as he softly touched my knee. I winced at the throbbing pain and said, "I fell when I was trying to get up the slope. Hit a broken branch on the ground."

Jake made a comprehending noise under his breath and asked, "How have you_ not_ felt the blood? It's soaked through a patch of your jeans."

"I don't know…" I whispered breathlessly. The odor was causing me to become weak. I moaned lowly and closed my eyes just as Jake turned to glance at me. He questioned, "Bella?"

"Blood makes me faint."

He cursed halfheartedly. I opened my eyes and watched as he unfolded himself from his squatted position. I didn't know if it was the particular angle I was in that caused me to see, but as he stood I felt my throat go completely dry.

He was beautiful. _A bronze angel with raven hair._

I was astonished. Utterly dumbfounded.

I had never seen Jake shirtless before and when I first ran into the garage I hadn't been clear-headed at all. But now I could see him fully. From where we were positioned, mere feet from the mouth of the garage, the mid-morning light touched his caramel skin. I knew from recent experience that the skin of his back was silky and smooth, but I wondered if the skin of his chest was just as smooth. His muscles were definite enough that I could see the curious planes and dips that began at his pectorals and drew down to his narrowed hips. The bruises that Paul Lahote had caused across his broad chest did nothing to ruin the beauty before me. I knew I was slack-jawed and slow as I ran my gaze over his abdominal muscles again.

I was stunned to find Jake attractive. _No, not attractive, but beautiful._ I had noticed that his spirit, his soul, was beautiful the moment he walked into my kitchen on that fateful day, yet this was something entirely different. This was physical attraction. This was passionate thoughts. This was what I never, in my life, expected to feel again. Not at all. Ever.

Jake cleared his throat and I jolted. Blinking rapidly, I raised my eyes to his face while a deep blush pooled upon my cheeks. I knew I was caught. What was worse was that I knew Jake knew what I was thinking; he always did. I was shaken and the superficial pain of my flesh wound was nothing compared to the jagged shards that began to rip at my hollowed stomach.

I winced and Jake playfully questioned, "Are you okay, Bells?"

I tried to smile, but it fell flat. Jake cocked his head to the side a bit and asked, "Why do you look like that?"

I mumbled, "Like what?"

He chuckled and walked toward his clothes. I tried to stop myself from watching him dress, but I was fascinated. He slipped his denim jeans over his boxers while explaining, "Like I've grown a second head right before your eyes."

I gulped and shook my head. Jake frowned as my blush deepened even more. He sat on the concrete and began to put on his socks and boots. He quietly observed, "Your face is so red that I think you might stay like that permanently."

I squeaked and he chuckled, "Come on and tell me. I'll only wonder until you do. What's the secret that's got you blushing so badly?"

I shrugged my shoulder and he stood up. He grabbed his shirt and crouched beside me. Gently, he placed it on my injured knee. We were quiet for a moment while he dabbed at the blood. I purposely didn't allow myself to see the blood; I just let him work.

Jake spoke so soundlessly that I almost didn't catch his words.

"Did I look ugly to you?"

My eyes widened as he met my gaze. He said, "A moment ago, when you were looking at me?"

The vulnerability was back in place behind his eyes. My mouth opened and closed; _what could I say to him? Could I tell him?_ I saw the agony that surged into his eyes before he could look away. He kept dabbing at my knee as he quietly said, "Don't worry about it, Bella, I'm not angry with you."

"No."

Jake's body jerked as if I had slapped him. I hurriedly stuttered over my words, "Jake, no. No, you're sort of…You're beautiful."

The soft pressure of his fingers pressing against my knee stopped. His head turned to me and I could see the hope lurking in the swirls of his eyes. He swallowed and huskily asked, "Is that what you were thinking when I was standing right here a minute ago?"

This was our game again, but I found myself fearful to play this time around. This time my thoughts and feelings involved Jake and I wasn't sure I could reveal those to him; that would give him hope and it would further blur our friendship. I bit my bottom lip and whispered, "Yes."

He quickly turned away before I could gauge his expression, stood up and asked, "Can you walk?"

I nodded and with his assistance I stood on wobbly legs. We made our way down the slope with great difficulty, but I was insistent that he couldn't carry me in his arms. Once again, our friendship would become murky that way. And I firmly believed I wasn't ready, nor would I ever be ready, to attempt anything more than friendship. After all, Jake deserved a woman as whole as he was.

_Hope you enjoyed! I would recommend reading the next chapter soon; they flow directly together._


	7. Chapter 7

**_Author's Note: Enjoy! _**_I would love to know what you think of Bella's confessional to Jake. There's a couple different confessions._

We finally came to the back patio. Jake was hesitant and tense, so I slipped through the glass door first. Billy wasn't in the living room or the tiny kitchen, so I gestured to Jake. He slipped through the door as I whispered, "Hurry up and go pack."

He nodded and briskly made his way down the narrowed hallway. I heard him rummaging around in his bedroom as I stood guard at the front door periodically glancing out the window for signs of Billy.

About ten minutes later, Jake came back in fresh clothes and with a black duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. I asked, "Are you good?"

He nodded. I bit my lip and decided, "I'll explain to Charlie tonight and he can call Billy. I'm sure Charlie could talk sense into him. Maybe we should show him your bruises. That should work."

Jake shrugged and I could tell the conversation wasn't going to go anywhere productive, so I opened the front door. As I drove to my house, Jake was silent. I glanced at his face once and his expression was sad. So sad. He followed me into the house and hovered by the front door. I paused in the process of taking off my jacket and said, "Come in, Jake."

He motioned to his muddy boots before tossing his bag to the floor. After slipping his shoes off, he picked his bag up and asked, "Uh, where do I put this?"

I pointed to the sofa and said, "There is fine."

He tossed it down and followed me to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and stated, "All we have is defrosted chicken breasts. How about baked rosemary chicken?"

"That sounds great, Bells…"

I began to prepare dinner and Jake didn't interact much. He stayed uncharacteristically quiet. I offered to let him aid me in cooking, but he declined. He didn't tell me any amusing stories from his previous week at school with Embry and Quil; he didn't banter about irrelevant things.

About thirty minutes before Charlie was due home, I slipped the pan of chicken into the oven to bake and, with my mind made up; I offered my hand to Jake. He had been staring at the kitchen tabletop for the past five minutes, but now he looked at me curiously. He took my hand and I tried not to focus on the rightness of our intertwined fingers. I led him up the staircase and to my bedroom. When I pushed the door open, Jake entered with an even more curious expression on his face. I dropped his hand and instructed, "Go stand by the window over there."

He walked to it without a word. I walked closer until I was standing beside him, nearly shoulder to shoulder.

I murmured, "When the sun sets, the clouds usually break apart right here, and light touches the tips of the trees. To me, it makes the colors stand out even more. They're brighter. You can see how deep the green of the leaves actually are. For a moment, all the dullness of the sky disappears and there's just a spectrum of colors. The orange and yellows are my favorite colors."

I pointed at the sinking sun and the thin clouds. The sky was a deep orange for about sixty seconds. Jake's expression was intense as he concentrated and listened to me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and quietly finished, "This reminds me of you."

I could hear his sharp intake of breath. I kept my gaze on the side of his face as he whispered, "How does this remind you of me?"

"You're the sun."

When he simply stared at me for an endless amount of time, I blushed and blurted, "That's how I think of you. You asked me to tell you what I was thinking about earlier; this is it, Jake. You're my sun. You can pull me away from the dark and take away the dullness. I don't know how you do it, but I know that you're the only one who can."

Jake nodded once and he squinted at a blank spot on the wall tightly enough that I was nearly certain he was overcome with emotion. My hollow stomach quivering uncomfortably with the knowledge of what I had done; I'd given Jake positive motivation to fuel his thoughts and feelings. And, of course, I knew he felt a strong pull to me that was so much more than simple friendship. I felt it too. I knew that no normal friendship would have ever been enough to catch my attention, drag me upward from my comatose state, and give me the tools to stay alive for the last five weeks since Charlie's eye-opening speech.

But I was still broken.

I was still weak and rendered fairly useless. Jacob was the most selfless human being I had ever had the privilege to know. He was kind and gentle effortlessly. He was full of laughter and wonder and adventurous aspects. He had a wonderful personality that enabled him to act so childish in the best possible way and he was also diverse enough to act seriously when necessary. How unfair would it be for me to allow Jake, so young and bright and full of life, to attach _me_ to his heart? Dull, virtually incapable of proper functions, I would only bring him down. I would suck the life and light that I loved so much straight out of the boy I cared for the most.

I stiffened as Jake leaned across the tiny gap between us and hugged me closely. He felt my tense body and quickly released me. He pulled back and muttered, "I'm sorry, Bells…I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…"

But I hardly heard his words. _Love._ _I had thought of love._ And just like that a ton of pricks slammed violently into my chest, breaking my ribcage and violently settling inside my hollowed stomach. There were so many emotions I was afraid I might internally erupt. My breath swished past my lips as I bent over with my hands braced on my knees. I was having another breakdown.

Jake leaned down immediately and whispered, "Just try to breathe, Bells."

I felt lightheaded and my fingertips tingled as I hyperventilated. I could hear Jake's low, husky voice whispering encouragingly to me as his hand subconsciously gravitated to the spot in between my shoulder blades. He rubbed gently, but firmly as my galloping heart came to a reasonable rhythm. After several shuddering breaths, my breathing returned to normal. I stumbled to the edge of my bed and collapsed; Jake came to my side and crouched down as I put my hands over my forehead with my elbows braced on my thighs. I stared at the wooden floorboards with a blank expression for a long moment as I tried to sort through my chaotic thoughts. I finally glanced to my right at Jake's crouched position. His dark mocha eyes searched mine, reading me so well, before he quietly questioned, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head wordlessly. My eyes were locked with his, but somehow, he knew I couldn't be pushed in that moment, so he kept his normally intense personality at bay. He reached over, brushed his warm fingers over the crease of my elbow and stood up. He softly asked, "Would you like me to check on dinner?"

I weakly replied, "Yes, please."

I listened to his thudding footsteps as he left. Then I went to the bathroom and washed my face with soothing, warm water for several minutes. After patting my face with a clean towel, I turned to leave the bathroom and was caught by my reflection. Normally, I made a point not to look in to a mirror except when I found it necessary to apply concealer to hide the bags under my eyes; I always hated what I saw looking back at me. The person was so pasty, so terribly pale and dead. I was mildly surprised to see my skin back to my relatively normal shade of white. I frowned in inspection of myself until the sound of Charlie slamming the front door jolted me from my hide-out. I tripped down the stairs as I heard Charlie greet Jake happily; he had been more than pleased to find Jacob and I doing homework while eating cold pizza on the living room floor three weeks ago. Ever since then Charlie did everything in his power to have Jake around me. That's why we found ourselves at the Blacks' residence, at least, once a week for dinner and a sports game.

I walked through the kitchen doorway to find Charlie pulling a can of beer out of the refrigerator and hungrily eyeballing the chicken breasts that Jake was helplessly poking with a fork. I let out a chuckle as I went to Jake's side. I said, "Here, give me that fork. Let me rescue you from this."

His body heat surrounded me in a nice, warm glow in the tiny kitchen space, but he only stayed for a prolonged moment before chuckling and going to his usual spot at the table. Charlie popped the top on his can before asking, "How was your day, Bells?"

I shrugged a shoulder without looking at him as I used a pair of tongs to flip the meat. I placed them back inside the oven and set the timer before answering slowly, "It wasn't that great actually…"

I could feel the concern, discomfort, and tension fill the air immediately. Charlie mumbled, "Uh, oh yeah?"

Because I knew how terrible Charlie was at emotional or conversational issues, I replied in an even voice, "Yeah, Jake and I both had a bad day. Jake had a pretty bad night too."

I went to the refrigerator and began to pull out the makings for a salad. I grabbed a knife from the cutting block and chopped at a head of lettuce. Charlie cleared his throat so I said, "We had an…altercation with…some people."

Charlie's voice was strong and demanding as soon as I finished my sentence, "Altercation? Where at and what time? Dammit, why didn't you call me, Bella? Jake? You kids should have called me as soon as this happened."

The strain in his voice told me that it was time to stop acting nonchalant, so I set down the knife and turned to him. A glimpse of Jake's face also told me that he was strained too. Jake and Charlie's eyes were both on me, so naturally, my cheeks flushed. But the flush had little to do with Charlie's stare; he wasn't looking at me with undeniable passion in his eyes. Jake watched me like there was nothing else to see.

The blush intensified.

"Dad, I'm fine. I wasn't hurt. Jake, on the other hand-"

Charlie whirled around and asked, "You were hurt, Jake?"

His dark eyes met mine over the top of Charlie's shoulder for a brief moment before his gaze slid to meet Charlie's. He explained, "No, not really. And neither was Bella."

"Dad," I said in exasperation, "Can you sit down and listen to us, please?"

Charlie sighed heavily before forcefully sitting in the chair across from Jake. I began to explain slowly, "There are these guys on the Rez, Dad; they're called the La Push Gang. They came in Jake's yard yesterday while we were hanging out and…and…"

At my fumble, Jake took over easily and muttered, "They just got rough with me and the guys. They're bullies, Charlie, it isn't a big deal."

I glared at Jake and stalked to the table. I insisted, "Yes, it is a big deal."

Jake's expression softened noticeable as he answered, "That isn't the part I'm having trouble with, Bells. It's not a problem I can't handle with Quil and Embry by my side."

Anger at yesterday's events and irritation with Jake had me walking around the table and tugging on Jake's shirt with force. Jake's eyebrows raised and I could see him trying not to smirk as Charlie immediately protested in shock. I sighed as a fresh blush coated my face.

"No, Dad, look."

Halfheartedly, Jake tried to yank his shirt back down, but I was quick. Charlie's round eyes slowly narrowed as he took in the sight of the dark, matching bruises on either side of Jake's pectorals. Charlie asked seriously, "Who did this to you, Jacob?"

Jake took the hand that was gripping his shirt and gently pried my fingers loose. Flushing with embarrassment, I took a step back. His wrinkled shirt fell into place again as he answered sheepishly, "His name is Paul Lahote, but Charlie, that isn't why I'm here."

He turned to me and shot me an exasperated look. I blurted, "Jake's here because Billy and Jake fought. Billy doesn't think that the Gang is in the wrong; he thinks Jake needs to do as they say."

"What?" Charlie exclaimed in disbelief.

Jake muttered darkly, "It is true, Charlie. You know how Dad is about Tribal things and this is a Tribal thing. The Gang," Jake spat the word with venomous spite that sounded so wrong compared to his naturally sweet voice, "is held in high regards among Dad and the elders. They are supposed to keep peace among the kids of the Rez, but they take their position too far most of the time. That's why I, and plenty of others, have a problem with them."

"Not to mention the fact," I jumped to Jake's defense when Charlie remained motionless and silent, "that those men are probably doing drugs."

Charlie's eyebrows rose at my claim and he spoke seriously, "Now, Bells, that's a pretty heavy accusation that you shouldn't throw around without solid evidence."

"Dad," I shot back instantly, "you have to believe me. They look like body builders and they're so aggressive. Isn't that two, solid signs of an anabolic steroid user?"

When Charlie's brows drew together I knew that he was taking Jake and me seriously. I gave him a moment of silence to process all that was being said before adding, "They have tattoos, Dad."

Charlie's eyes narrowed and I considered that a wordless victory; my father hated tattoos. Always had. He considered them to be a terrible form of body modification. Charlie sighed heavily before slowly asking, "What exactly happened yesterday afternoon when this gang came to your house, Jake? I want every detail."

I watched as Jake rubbed the back of his neck before reluctantly mumbling, "Quil and I were goofing around and wrestling. I didn't see or hear Bella show up, but she did at some point. Embry had bet some money that Quil could take me in a fight, so it was kind of a dare I couldn't pass up. We fought and just as I took Quil to the ground, Sam Uley and his two buddies came running from across the road…"

Jake faltered when Charlie repeated in disbelief, "Sam Uley?"

Jake and I both stared at Charlie as he shook his head and eyed the both of us. He sighed and I could tell that we were losing him. He carefully said, "Sam Uley is a good guy, kids. I have met him a handful of times for different petty crimes involving Quileute teens when they come over to Forks and act up."

Jake snorted under his breath and hurriedly looked away; I could see how taunt his russet skin was across his jawbone. I turned back to face my father and opened my mouth to speak. Charlie cut me off quickly with a firm voice, "Bella, I'm telling you that Sam Uley is a good young man. He aids Forks Police Force when we have missing persons' searches and he's damn good at finding the victims."

"Sure, but-"

He cut me off by quietly mumbling, "He saved you, Bella."

My voice sounded weak as I squeaked, "What?"

Charlie's pale face turned a dark shade of red and his face took on a haunted look as he mumbled, "Sam Uley found you in the forest the night you went missing. If it hadn't been for him, Bells, I…I…"

Grief and terror threatened to overwhelm me for a single instant before I gripped the emotions and shoved them inside of a box. I locked that box and mentally told myself I would deal with it later. Then, I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. Charlie was cautiously watching me now, observing to see if the scared rabbit would run away and hide from the monsters.

Abruptly I turned and went back to chopping lettuce and vegetables for the salad. There wasn't a sound besides the muted thud of my knife as I cut. I focused solely on what I was doing; neither Jake nor Charlie moved from their previous positions. I thought of the way Paul Lahote slammed Jake against my truck, I thought of the bitter sound of Paul's voice as he mocked Jake's position as the Chief's son, and thought of the authoritative and threatening way Sam had gotten Paul to drop Jake and leave. Images of the terrible bruises marring Jake's beautiful skin filled my mind and then I found myself picturing his expression when I had asked him if he was scared of those men.

I was sure a part of Jake was very afraid of them and very reluctant to have any type of confrontation because Jake was truly a gentle person at heart, but I also knew that he was a teenage boy and if he or his friends were threatened further, he would fight. He would meet the confrontation because he was protective of those he cared about. A murky, fleeting image of Jake with a bloody and bruised face flew through my head.

I let the knife clatter into the sink noisily and turned around with determination. I stated flatly, "Jake's staying here until Billy decides to keep those guys away. Until that happens, I'll wake up early and drive him to and from the Rez for school each day."

Charlie's expression was one of astonishment and Jake's was much the same. I put my hands on my hips as Charlie stammered, "Bella, uh, that's a little…um, sweetheart, you really don't have the…"

A burst of desperation hit me squarely as I shot back, "He could get hurt, Dad! He's being threatened and Paul Lahote left bruises on him! You're the Chief of Police; your job is to serve and protect, so please help me keep him safe."

I stared Charlie down with my jaw locked in place and my eyes narrowed. Adrenaline was making my heart pump faster and the very thought of Jake in a hurtful situation brought out a fierceness in me. Charlie's expression turned from stunned disbelief to hesitant understanding in the matter of a few seconds. He glanced between Jacob and me twice before mumbling, "That's a big decision that I need time to think on, Bells, and I need to speak with Billy. I've known him for longer than both of you have been living and, trust me, I know Billy Black better than most. Something just isn't right about this story, Bells."

Anger boiled lowly in my gut as I asked, "Do you think we're lying?"

"Oh, no," Dad's eyes rounded and he answered, "I believe you, and you too, Jake. But I feel like maybe emotions were running high between Billy and Jake. Maybe this entire thing has been blown up into a bigger mess than it should be."

I folded my arms across my stomach because I felt fear start to slide through me and it was a terrible feeling because I felt it for Jake; I couldn't let harm come to him.

I mumbled, "Dad…please, just let him stay."

I was so distraught that I couldn't be embarrassed about my begging, not even in front of Jake. Besides, it was Jake and I knew I could put aside my discomfort for him if it meant keeping him safe. When I saw Charlie's brown eyes soften I feverishly said, "He can have my bedroom to sleep in if he wants; I'll take the couch…or the other way around. He's already packed a bag of clothes. I'll make sure we're both up and at school each day. Don't worry about the extra use of gasoline because I have money saved up from when I was working at Newton's Outfitters."

"Bella-"

I cut him off in fear, "Dad, just hear me out. It really isn't a problem; he can stay for a week or so. Longer, if that's needed. You can talk to Billy tomorrow or something. Just tell me he can stay as long as it takes."

Charlie stood up as the tears welled up in my eyes. Hastily, I wiped them away. My face was flushed, but not from embarrassment. I was flushed with anger and anxiety. Charlie awkwardly patted me on the shoulder and mumbled, "That's fine, Bella, he can stay. Uh, I'll drive to La Push in a bit to speak with Billy."

Relief poured through me as Charlie retreated quickly from the kitchen. I was left standing in the middle of the room with watery eyes and a whirlwind of emotions storming through my battered body. I didn't move until Jake's warm arms wrapped around my upper back; he cocooned me like an electric blanket.

"Thank you," He whispered in awe.

I kept my arms firmly gripping my stomach, but it wasn't because I didn't want to return Jake's embrace. I gripped myself because I did want to wrap my arms around him and that was an uncomfortable conclusion I had come to.

He pulled back after lingering for a short time. He gave a soft smile and quickly tucked a piece of stray hair behind my ear before asking, "So when is the food going to be finished, Chef Swan? I'm starving."

I gave a tired smile and answered, "Soon enough. Go sit at the table before I put you to work, Black."

He chuckled as he scooted toward the table, "Don't push your luck, Swan."

_Thank you for reading! Whatch ya think about Bella automatically standing up to protect Jake?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** _Thank you to the wonderful people who have given me feedback:) To the person(s) that keeps reviewing anonymously: I'll definitely check that out and I was blown away by your review:) Thanks to the readers too:) Thanks to the people who have started following the story._ **This chapter has me a bit nervous; I've added a breakthrough scene and a dream scene.**

The conversation between Charlie and Billy had not gone well. Jake and I didn't know what had been said, but Charlie had left shortly after dinner only to return an hour later with a sour expression. He grumbled under his breath and stomped up the staircase without acknowledging me or Jake. We had come to the conclusion that our fathers argued.

Later that night Jake had insisted sleeping on the couch, so I'd put fresh sheets and pillows on the couch and brought down a thin blanket from the linen closet. Because of the obvious discomfort over the entire situation with his dad, I had found myself hugging him tightly and promising him that he was safe with me. I promised him that things would eventually even out between him and Billy. After crawling in my bed, I slept without nightmares that night and woke on Sunday to a quiet, early morning. I showered before heading downstairs to begin cooking breakfast, but I stopped in mid-step. I felt a sense of complete awe as I stepped closer to the living room; Jake was sprawled across the couch awkwardly. A protective emotion surged through me as I softly touched his hair.

He had been abnormally tall as far back as I could clearly remember, but the beginning form of muscles showing across his russet skin had been a surprise when I saw him again three months before. Now, just shy of a year since my returning to Forks, Jake had developed. He was wearing a thin sleeveless shirt and shorts with the blanket tangled at his feet. One arm was hanging off of the cushions and his long hair was splayed across the pillows. His face, which was customarily such a unique and handsome blend of manly appearance and childish exuberance, looked utterly vulnerable and soft while he slept. It hit me then, how truly young he was. I felt guilt for allowing him to take me in as a burden. _He was only fifteen._

I stood and gazed at him for only a brief time before scurrying to the kitchen. Charlie came downstairs when he woke looking for coffee and Jake woke when he smelled bacon; all three of us ate at the table. Jake and I had sat side-by-side and ate in silence. I managed to eat a small amount of food before my hollowed stomach protested weakly. For the next half hour, I thought I would become ill from eating; my stomach surely wasn't used to consuming any substantial amount.

A number of days passed with Jacob staying in our house; I didn't mind. In fact, I liked him staying there; although, I became full of fatigue after three days of waking so early. Each morning I would wake, cook breakfast, shower, dress, drive Jake to La Push, drive to Forks High School, leave school and drive to pick Jake up from La Push, and then drive home.

The routine was tiresome, but well-worth every minute. The times when Charlie was at work and Jake and I were home was the best. We worked well together while studying, which wasn't surprising considering how easily companionable we were with everything else. He had trouble reading most classical literature, which was one of my greatest interests, so I read to him and broke down separate pieces of the more well-known works of literature. He had a natural ability with numbers and equations, which I had been unaware of, so he taught me simple steps for my math class. He had a problem with mixing facts between his multiple history classes, so we spent time making color-coded flash cards. We started a humorous game where I would, at random times, pull out a card and hurriedly demand the answer to the question.

It was Friday afternoon, nearly a full week since Jake started staying at our house, and I was cutting apples into neat slices as Jake lounged at the table while sipping on a cold glass of lemonade. He sighed happily and said, "This is the best lemonade ever. How do you make it so sweet, but nice and sour too?"

I chuckled and said, "If I tell you all my secrets, then I'd have to kill you."

Jake, in a serious tone that caused me to carefully lay down my knife, answered, "Maybe knowing all your secrets is worth that risk, Bells…"

_Tell him all my secrets?_ Jake, my best friend, the person who was aiding me through the darkest time in my life, had romantic feelings for me. Over the last week with his sunny personality around all hours of the day and night, I found that the nightmares didn't present themselves at all. So that left my muddled brain in a state of clarity and with that state of clarity, I had the chance to finally admit to myself that Jacob harbored deep feelings involving me.

That should have been obvious to me weeks ago, but I had been purposely putting myself into denial. I still wasn't sure how deeply his feelings ran and my mind still tried to play the denial card by thinking that, perhaps, he was only crushing as younger high school boys tend to do. But this was Jake and thinking about him like that was downgrading who he really was. Jake certainly wasn't normal compared to other high schoolers with raging hormones and awkward glances; he was wonderful. And he surely acted older than his fifteen years old age.

I glanced at him as I set the apple slices on the table. He gazed back at me before sighing and saying, "Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, Bells. Just forget it."

I gave him a small smile and wordlessly walked to my bedroom. I shut the door so Jake would know I needed privacy and then lay on the bed. As I kicked off my shoes, I wondered what Jake was thinking right now. I wondered if his comment about risking himself to know my secrets was his way of flirting. Yet I knew that flirting wasn't the correct term to describe Jake's way of hinting at his intentions. There was no way to describe it; he was so serious when he spoke to me like that. It was those times, when he was somber and showing me the silent intensity in his dark eyes, that I felt his emotions. As time passed, even after I tried ignoring the way he felt, I could _feel_ him and bond with him on a level I couldn't with anybody else. It was our unexplainable connection, that deep pull we both felt, that allowed me to _feel _him the way I did.

I knew Jake wouldn't push his feelings on me, but I also knew he would begin to hurt, if he wasn't hurting already, because I wasn't returning those feelings. I was afraid, so absolutely afraid, that I would never be enough for Jake. I cared about him a lot more than I would have ever thought possible and, on many levels, I loved him. I felt lighter and safe around him as if he could keep me protected from any threat.

But that _wasn't _true. There were monsters that could hurt him. Jake, no matter how wonderful he made me feel, couldn't save me from the monstrous Victoria if she decided to return to Forks. But then, maybe she never would return to Forks. Perhaps she had gone in search for the Cullens in a foreign country in seek of revenge; perhaps they destroyed her.

I didn't know and I wasn't willing to risk him. Yet, Jake wouldn't give up. I knew him so well that I knew he wouldn't give up on me without trying until he ran out of…_light._ And I couldn't bear to know I was the cause of Jake losing the very thing that made him so special. And despite all the help Jake had given me, despite the light inside of him and way gravity pulled me toward him, I still loved the Cullens. They were like a dream so beautiful and otherworldly that it was disturbing, but the aftermath of their departure was present. I was broken. I was hurting.

I knew pain. And terror. All because of their beautiful world where humans were the prey.

_But Jake._

My battered heart throbbed when I was near him. My mind actively thought of him often. I loved Jake. There was no denying the truth from myself anymore; I had grown to love Jacob Black. _How could anyone not love such an amazing person? Filled with so much_ _amusement__ and laughter and joy about the world?_

My eyes fluttered shut and I drifted into dreams with Jake's dark eyes burning warmly behind shut lids.

In my dream I was walking.

The forest was dark and dread was sliding through my empty stomach with icy fingers. I was looking for something. Looking. As time went on, my dread grew into twisted knots and my search became frantic. _Where was Victoria?_ She was here. My breathing was uneven and my chest heaved as I stumbled hurriedly over fallen debris on the forest floor. The vegetation was slick and I slipped multiple times. I felt a sound of frustration slip past my lips as I forced myself to my feet. I had to find him.

_Jake._ I had to find Jake.

So my search continued. The trees were looming all around and the dark was nearly suffocating me, but I didn't stop. I was squinting with my eyes, but still couldn't see. And still I didn't stop. Victoria was somewhere, probably watching from a dangerous perch, and waiting until she had enough fun toying with me before killing me. My only hope is that she would murder me and leave Jake alone. I stopped walking abruptly as I inhaled and exhaled in panting breaths. I had to halt my search for Jake; if I was around him when Victoria attacked me, then he would try to defend me. And I couldn't allow that to happen. _Not Jake. Not Jake. Not Jake._

I chanted that in my mind as I lowered my body to the forest floor. She would find me soon and then she would kill me. I had nearly died by the hands of a horrific vampire before and I had faced that bravely and in the name of love. I knew I could do that for Jake as well.

_I love him. I love him. I love him._

Tears slowly leaked from my eyes as I realized I had never told him that. I had been afraid to tell him. Afraid because I didn't want our friendship to be jeopardized, _but what did that matter now?_ I had faced death and came through; but I couldn't face love? I couldn't face the one person that had managed to pull me from my self-destructive path?

I gulped heavily as I felt the wind shift. She was close. So close now. A second passed before a smooth, icy hand cupped the back of my neck from behind. There was a tinkling, girlish laugh that caused a small, hysterical sob to burst free from my throat. She laughed again and leaned down while pressing her icy lips to my ear. I shivered as another sob caught in my throat and choked me.

She whispered, "You're such a pathetic being, Isabella."

I said nothing. My body was paralyzed. She giggled shrilly and said, "Your godly Edward left you, a weak and fumbling human, to fend off so many beasts. How magnificent is he now, Isabella?"

I still didn't speak. The firm grip on my neck locked tightly enough to cause a pitiful whine to push passed my clamped lips. She whispered dangerously, "Answer me, Bella."

Anger boiled underneath the fear and I managed to shakily say, "I could never love him like I did before."

And that was the truest truth I had told in the last four months. Victoria laughed loudly before gripping my wrist. She murmured amusingly, "I killed the precious boy with the raven hair. He put up such a charming fight."

A wailing, piercing scream tore from my mouth before she snapped my neck.

"_Bella!"_ A husky voice cried out and jerked me from my nightmare. I woke to the sound of my own screaming and the warmth of Jake's palms on my shoulders. I blinked rapidly and choked off my shriek with an uncontrollable sob. I was panting as I looked at Jake's anxious expression. He whispered, "Bella…"

The tone in his voice and the fright in his eyes caused my own emotions to get shoved violently away; I focused on him. I sat up and ran a shaky hand through my sweaty hair. I whispered, "I'm sorry…" I had to clear my throat before whispering, "Are you okay?"

His hands stayed firmly and gently on my shoulders as if he was terrified to let me go. He seemed to be unaware of what I had said as he hoarsely stated, "You…were screaming and crying."

"I know," I put one of my palms on his forearm. I felt his fingers flex as soon as I touched his skin. Quietly I added, "I didn't mean to scare you. It's just a nightmare."

He shook his head and I was momentarily distracted by the silky strands of his long hair. He said, "You have these often."

I knew what he said wasn't a question, but I nodded anyways. He asked, "Can you tell me what you were dreaming of?"

I slowly replied, "A monster attacking me in the forest."

There was a silence following me answer, so I glanced at his face again and saw a burning anger etched there and in his eyes. I was so surprised that I gasped. He flung himself off of my bed and paced the length of the floor. Frowning, I stood and walked to his side. As he turned to make another frustrated pace around my bedroom, I put a hand on his upper chest. He halted instantly. Carefully, I came to stand in front of him and look up at his dark face.

I asked, "What's got you so upset, Jake? It was only a dream."

His eyes met mine as they burned a hole straight to my soul. "He hurt you."

I stammered, "What?"

Jake clenched his teeth and ground out, "I was there that night, Bella."

My bewilderment and anxiety were building quickly as I asked, "What night?"

Jake ranted, "I was there when Charlie realized you were missing. He came straight to La Push, straight to Dad and the elders. The Reservation is…prejudice of the Cullens and Dad is most of all. He put men on the search immediately thinking the absolute worst about what happened to you. We searched for hours, Bella. Even then, even before you came to me, I was a mess over finding you."

"The majority of the search teams were assembled in front of your house and only Sam Uley's team was left out. Then Uley came stalking out of the tree line behind your house with you in his arms. Dad was convinced that the Cullens had tried assaulting or kidnapping you. Harry Clearwater and Dad insisted on our best healer examining you after you passed out. Charlie allowed it; I thought their accusations toward the Cullens was unnecessary and ridiculous."

"You know what I think now, Bella?" His deep voice broke off in a hitching breath before he answered, "After all this time getting to know you and understanding you…I think he _did_ hurt you. Maybe physically."

I crossed my arms over my stomach and mumbled, "Jake…don't."

His handsome face was marred with a grimace as he whispered, "He did, didn't he?"

When I didn't speak, he let out a low groan, "Bells, oh, Bells, what did he do? My God, what did he do to you?"

His warm arms wrapped around me as the tears silently began to fall. My arms stayed firmly across my queasy stomach as I shakily murmured, "He…he…"

"I won't let him touch you again, Bella, ever again." He whispered fiercely as he stood holding me, "I promise it."

"He…he…" I sucked in a deep breath and blurted, "He left me there."

Jake's warm hands softly rubbed between my shoulder blades wordlessly. He waited patiently while I laid my cheek on his chest.I had to tell him; _h_e _deserved the truth, didn't he?_ The soft fabric of his shirt was comforting and after a difficult moment I quietly spoke, "I can tell you everything…"

His body tensed for a moment before he soothing said, "You know I will listen."

I stepped back from him and his soft hold released me. I wrapped my hand around his thick wrist and tugged on him until we reached the bed. I sat down and crossed my legs before leaning against the head board. I stared at a blank spot on the wall. Eventually, I felt the bed dip with Jake's weight and then he was settled beside me. We were close with only a few inches separating us; all that was touching was our shoulders.

I stared at the wall instead of his face as I opened my mouth and began, "Alice Cullen is Ed…_Edward's_…sister. She wanted to throw me an eighteenth birthday party, but I didn't want that. She, of course, planned a party for me anyways. Ed…uh, Edward picked me up when it was time and we drove to the Cullen mansion."

I wiped uselessly at the leftover tears on my cheeks before shakily continuing, "I was embarrassed with all the attention and all of the over-the-top decorations and gifts they'd bought for me. All of the Cullen family was there. Alice's…boyfriend… he has…a, uh, _medical disorder_ that causes severe anger and control issues. See, I accidentally angered him shortly after I arrived there."

I took a deep breath and struggled on, "So Jasper lost control of himself and…tried to attack me."

I felt Jake's body tense as he sucked in a sharp breath, but he did not interrupt me. I mumbled, "Jasper didn't get close enough to hurt me, but in the scuffle I was knocked into their glass table and it shattered underneath me. My arm was sliced open and Carlisle Cullen had to stitch me. Charlie still doesn't know what really happened the night of my birthday. For the next three days none of the other Cullens showed up to school. Only Edward."

Fresh tears leaked down as I said, "I knew things were bad because he hardly spoke to me. He just ignored me; he pretended as if I wasn't here for three days. Then, on the third day, he wasn't at school. I decided I was going to drive to the Cullens' house and demand some answers from him. But he was standing in my driveway when I got home."

I shook my head and laughed humorlessly, "I don't remember the situation clearly from that point on. I remember odd things like the sound of my boots crunching on the gravel as I climbed out of the truck cab and walked toward him. I can't…remember the exact look on his face that day, but I remember his stance. He was rigid and cold and so…emotionless. He asked me to take a walk with him, so I followed him. We went off a small trail beside the house, but I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy panicking."

I paused to breathe deeply before I beginning again, "He told me that his family was moving. I told him I'd go with him. I would leave Charlie and Forks and I'd go with him. He told me no. We were too different and he didn't want me anymore. He said that it was better off for the both of us if I stayed in Forks and he went to the city where his father was offered another medical job. Now that I replay it over and over again in my head, I can see how pitiful I sounded. I was trying to beg him to stay, but I couldn't speak because I was choking on stupid tears."

"I used to think I wasn't worthy of him. In a way, I still think that, but it's different now. I realize that he and I are unmade for each other. He comes from riches and an extraordinary, extravagant life; I don't. We just don't belong together."

Jake interrupted quietly, "Those things are trivial, Bella. Superficial. They don't prove the worth of a person. That crap doesn't prove _your_ worth."

"I know," I said as I reached over and touched my fingertips to his. He wrapped his hand around mine as I added, "I'm not worthless. I know that now, but…"

There was a pause before Jake murmured, "But?"

I sighed before taking a peeking glance at his tanned face. "I'm damaged, Jake. I'm torn apart and there's so much…going on inside of me."

His thumb began to caress the pulse thumping against the skin of my wrist. It jumped at his warmth and feather light touches; he noticed. He smiled softly and said, "You have gotten so much better, Bells. You aren't nearly as broken as you might think."

"Yes," I mumbled and reluctantly warned him, "I am. Jake, I probably can't love again."

I saw strong emotions flash across his face before he managed to compose himself and say, "Oh, I think caring is enough for now. If you care, then we'll be fine."

I knew we weren't talking about the past anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **_I was blown away by the reviews:) Thank you all. As always, thank you to my many readers who don't review too!:) __This chapter has me pretty nervous; it has something all of you have been waiting for. Hopefully it meets your expectations and leaves you pondering what will happen next._

That night, long after dinnertime, Charlie was downstairs watching a sports game on TV, so Jake and I had escaped to my bedroom with the excuse of homework. We played Jake's history game with flashcards and as I was neatly stacking them he flopped onto the bed and sent cards flying.

"Jake!" I exclaimed with a chuckle as he grinned boyishly. He helped me pick the cards off of the floor before saying, "I'm going to take a shower, Bells. Did you use all the hot water earlier?"

I snorted and opened my well-worn copy of _Yeats Poetry_. "No, goof-ball, you are the one who greedily uses up all of the hot water. Not me."

His laughter played like loud music throughout the house as he went to the bathroom and shut the door. I was so preoccupied with my reading that, at first, I didn't notice Jake's entry in the room. The familiar smell of his ocean-breeze soap caused me to look up; he was leaning with his shoulder against the doorjamb. His ebony hair was hanging down over each shoulder slowly dripping with droplets of water. And he was shirtless, clad only in a pair of dark blue shorts. I stared at the honey colored skin of his shoulders and followed the interesting contrast of his jet-black hair as it fell down past his chest.

I blinked.

Jake cleared his throat and asked, "Did you forget to put the load of clothes in the dryer this afternoon? All my clothes are wet now."

I flushed and stammered, "I, uh, got busy with dinner and forget."

He gave a signature grin and shrugged, "Oh well, it will all be dry later tonight."

I nodded and wondered if I would distractedly stare at him all night now. Jake sat on the edge of my bed and leaned over to look at the book I had been reading. He cocked a dark brow and smiled softly, "Poetry, Bells? I might have to memorize some of this stuff and quote it for you."

I chuckled at the idea and said, "No, Jake. Trust me; you speak your thoughts just fine without poetry."

Our eyes met and his intense gaze was back in place; he held my eyes long enough to make his blatant desire brush shivers down my spine. I bit my lip and broke contact, awkwardly looking down at my book. I pretended to be reading it while Jake grabbed a hairbrush out of his bag. I silently worked on pushing the shaky feeling in my stomach away as he began to skillfully part his wet hair in sections. With his back to me, he perched on the edge of the bed and started to work out small tangles of hair. Immediately, I was drawn to him. To the way he moved, to the color of his skin and the length of his hair. From the first time he walked into my kitchen, I had a fascination with his hair. But that fascination seemed to be climbing to a higher level now. I bit my lip and read the same line of text three times before giving up.

I set the book aside and scooted further down the length of my bed until I was directly behind him. My eyes were filled with the sight of his smooth back muscles. I watched the way the muscles contracted and stretched as he- completely oblivious to the chaos he was causing- brushed his hair. Instinctively, I rose up on my knees and leaned my arm around until I gently touched the tip of the brush.

Jake's movements stilled instantly.

When my fingers wrapped around the brush he released it. I whispered, "Can I do it for you?"

I watched him nod and wondered what type of expression he wore. I was so curious that I nearly stood up and went around the side of the bed to see his face, but I pushed the urge away and silently started brushing his hair with soft strokes. I had imagined the way it would feel since the moment I saw him, and now, I freely ran my fingers through the ends of his hair as I brushed the knots away. I took my time and he stayed uncharacteristically quiet. I remained with my knees on the mattress while leaning forward until I stopped gawking at the ebony strands long enough to realize my knees were digging against the small of his back.

I gasped, "Jake, why didn't you tell me to move my knees?"

"Don't." He softly demanded as his hand shot behind and wrapped around the back of my leg. He held me in place and murmured, "I promise you that your knees aren't bothering me."

The way that he spoke, so quietly and with an edge of desperation, caused mixed emotions to rise in my throat. I felt a strange sort of need followed by a twinge of distress. His warm palm was still wrapped around the back of my leg and I was sure the action was meant innocently enough, but the entire situation didn't _feel_ innocent because I was wearing shorts tonight. And the slightly rough skin of his palm was touching to the bare skin of my calf. I felt hypersensitive and I was burning at the point of his touch. The sensation was nice and nerve-wrecking at the same time, and I was frozen. I hadn't made a decision yet, but it seemed my body certainly had.

Because I didn't know what else to do and because I was afraid to cause some sort of cataclysmic action, I continued brushing his hair wordlessly. Jake's palm never left my leg and I didn't ask him to move it; I couldn't bear to hurt him. There was something tangible in the air around us, something I knew he could feel as well. But neither of us voiced questions or statements about the tangible feeling.

I replayed his words inside of my head. _Don't. _The simple act of brushing his hair was intimate and he was happy with me doing it. He didn't want me to stop, and _that_ was what he had told me without really saying the exact words. _I promise you that your knees aren't bothering me._

I whispered, "Your hair is really beautiful, Jake."

His voice sounded distracted as he murmured, "I don't think so. It's kinda ugly."

_"What?"_ I exclaimed in surprise as I kept brushing, "No way. I'm jealous of you. Mostly because of your hair. It's so soft and long. Honestly, it feels like silk against my fingertips. Why in the world do you think it's ugly?"

He ignored my question and quietly stated, "Your hair is pretty, Bells. I like the color and the way it likes to curl just a little bit toward the bottom."

I smiled softly and said, "Thanks, Jake."

His voice stayed low as he asked, "Why did you say you were jealous of me?"

My cheeks flushed as I stared at the back of his head. I knew if I didn't answer him then he would only become more curious for an answer. I hesitated and mumbled, "Uh…because you have really nice hair and skin. When I was little, I used to envy the kids in my classes with dark skin and hair."

He hummed under his breath as I worked on a small tangle on the opposite side of his head. I had just tugged the knot free when Jake's palm slipped upward and then downward on my calf very slowly and tentatively. The sensation of his palm rubbing against the skin of my leg caused me to shiver. I attempted to run the brush through his hair again, but he repeated his movements. My breath released shakily. Jake's palm paused before running upward again. His touches were so soft and so wonderful; a trail of comforting warmth was left in his wake.

I slowly set the brush on the mattress and before putting my cheek against his shoulder as his hand continued rubbing. A part of me was demanding that he stop, that I should make him stop, but that part was the same piece that had been clawing at me from the very beginning. The part that wished misery on me. The part that knew his touch could bring me happiness, but wanted the opposite. Slowly, my thoughts began to slip away until only sensations were left.

When my body shivered reflexively, so did his. Just when I thought I might fall apart from his simple touch, he pulled away from me. I was confused until he turned around; the look of desire on his face had as much slamming impact on me as his physical touch did. He leaned his body over mine coming closer and closer until I was against the mattress and he was hovering above me. His dark eyes lingered, soaking in the image of me before he lowered his lips to mine.

Then my world exploded. The catastrophic event I had been terrified of occurred.

Our lips met and his were soft, full, warm. Perfect. The kiss was like nothing I had experienced before; it was reckless and passionate and scorching and _everything._ A soft noise that I didn't comprehend left my mouth as his bare arms snaked around my waist. He held me tightly, but it wasn't nearly tightly enough. Our lips broke apart long enough for me to suck in a few hasty breaths before I wound my hands in his hair and dragged his lips back to mine. His fingers gripped the fabric at the bottom of my back as we kissed. I was in awe of the overwhelming sensations he was causing. I was delirious with the kiss, drunk on his scent and taste. When the warmth of his tongue met mine, red and yellow sparks flashed behind my closed eyelids. His gasping groan shot piercing arrows of lava throughout my stomach. His strong body was so close to mine. The ever-existing need for him had turned into a _hunger_ now.

I absolutely _hungered_ for him.

The kiss was unrelenting and beautiful. I was dizzy from lack of breathing, but I did not pull my lips from his. Jake was the one who eventually, and rather reluctantly, ripped his full lips away from me. Both gasping, Jake lowered his forehead until his was resting against mine. Our breath mingled in the inches between us, but I didn't mind. My eyes opened slowly. I took a deep, gulping breath and found myself caught in his dark gaze.

He gave a tender smile before breathlessly saying, "I really don't want to move."

My head was still spinning, so I said nothing. I kept my eyes shut and let my breathing even out. Jake's body didn't move from mine and, for that, I was grateful. My body was alive as it hadn't been in months. More alive, if possible, than when I kissed Edward.

I gasped. Just like that, with only a single thought of _him_, I was drowning. Sharp images of pale beauty and my first kiss slashed through my mind. Surprised pain sounded from me before my body tried curling in on itself, but Jake's large body was on top of mine, so I couldn't properly use my hands to hold myself together. _You're like my own personal brand of heroin. I love you, Bella. We're moving. My family and myself._ Pictures played out behind my eyes with the speed and danger of a lightning bolt; I barely felt Jake's body softly drifting away from mine. The full effect of what I had just done smashed in to me like a heavy truck. _I kissed Jacob. I had kissed Jake._

Once his warmth left me, I impulsively wrapped my arms around my churning stomach. Silent tears started and I was angry at myself for doing this in front of Jake. I could feel him crouch beside the bed and begin stroking my hair and murmuring softly. I didn't pay attention to the words; just the sound of his voice. His husky, soothing voice. Several minutes passed before the tears stopped and my breaths drew regularly again. Jake's voice was hoarse when he asked, "Are you crying because I kissed you, Bella?"

I opened my eyes, but Jake wasn't looking at me for once. He was staring at his hands, which were now lying limply in his lap. I only had a side-view of his profile, but I could tell by the line of his jaw and the slightly compressed line of his lips that he was uneasy. _What could I tell him? Could I tell him the truth? Could I tell him that I was crying because I kissed him? _The hurt on his face was enough to answer my own question.

"Let me explain…" I sat up and sniffled while wiping the tears away. I voice sounded watery as I asked, "You know the game that we always play? The Mind Game where I tell you what's going on inside my head and you help me understand…?"

"Yes…" He answered quietly.

"I don't know what to do, Jake. My head is so full." I explained honestly, "I don't want to hurt you. You're the last person I would ever want to hurt. You're…even above Charlie and Renee."

His bare shoulders jolted at my declaration, but he didn't speak. Just like earlier when I struggled through the tale of my downfall, Jake knew interruptions would only cause me more distress. He was generous like that. Always willing to make everything easier on other people.

"I'm trying to get over him, Jake; I need you to believe me. It isn't easy at all. I need you to know that you're helping me so much, but I'm still not what…I don't know how…I'm not sure if I can…"

There was a pause before Jake asked, "Do you still love him, Bella?"

I gulped as my heart thudded painfully in my chest. "Do you want the truth?"

"I always want the truth, Bella."

My body tensed and I bit my bottom lip hard before whispering, "Yes, I do."

I wasn't sure what I expected. _Disappointment? Anger? Sadness?_ I knew it would hurt for him to hear that, but I didn't expect him to turn to me, meet me with his familiar, piercing gaze and calmly ask, "What am I to you?"

"My best friend," I answered quickly, "The person I want to talk to and hang out with every day. The person that understands me better than I get myself."

"I'm even higher up on your list than your friends at school?"

I didn't bother telling him those friends actually avoided me. I nodded and waited as Jake fired off another question, "What do you feel for me?"

I faltered, staring at him until I stood up abruptly and stumbled to the window. I looked outside at the cold night sky while lamely responding, "I feel…lots of things for you, Jake. I feel a connection to you that I've never felt with anyone else."

"Not even…him?"

"No." I quietly repeated as I looked at the moon, "Not even him."

We were quiet for some time before he spoke.

"Why didn't you stop me, Bella? I would have stopped if I noticed any reluctance from you."

_The kiss. _My overly sensitive skin tingled as I remembered. I wrapped my arms around myself as I kept looking out at the night. It was so much easier when we had monumental discussions without having his powerful gaze distracting me. I sucked in a breath and made myself turned to him, "I didn't _want_ you to stop, Jake."

His eyes began to burn as he huskily asked, "You didn't?"

I shook my head slowly and ran one hand through my mused hair. "No. Did I…sound or act like a girl who didn't like what was happening?"

A very small, but satisfied smirk fleetingly passed across Jake's lips before he murmured, "No, you didn't."

I gave a shaky smile back to him and gave the best apology I had to offer, "I'm trying to mend, Jake."

"I know," He quietly replied, "I'll wait as long as you need me to."

My eyes closed almost painfully. His words confirmed my fear and my cautious hope. Jake loved me. Jake really loved me. _How could I deny any of these feelings now?_

**Author's Note:**_ *Anxiously takes a breath* So...? Opinions? I normally write more detailed descriptions for scenes like this(hence the original M rating) but I have a few younger viewers. However, I don't want it to sound cheesy; her feelings for him are powerful/complex and I definitely want that to be obvious during such intimate times._


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: ** _I told myself I would post this on Friday afternoon, but I'm getting too excited over the chapters ahead that I HAD to post more to further my progress. Enjoy!_

The next morning was Saturday, so Jake woke later than normal. I, on the other hand, had nightmares all throughout the night. I tossed and turned in my bed before giving up on sleep at dawn. When I heard Charlie shuffling down the staircase, I went down with the intent of making breakfast for him. As I came through the kitchen archway, Charlie was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the morning newspaper. He glanced up and quietly said, "Good morning, Bells."

"Good morning, Dad." I went to the refrigerator as I asked, "What do you want for breakfast today?"

"Actually, Bells, I want to talk to you before Jake wakes up."

I froze, slowly closed the refrigerator door, turned to him and said, "Uh, what's up?"

"Take a seat, Bells. You look like I'm going to attack you."

Reluctantly, I slipped in the chair across from Charlie and waited. He took another sip of coffee before quietly saying, "Jake's been here for a while now."

"A week." I answered instantly, "A week isn't really that long."

"Bella," Charlie replied in exasperation, "Will you stop acting so defensive?"

I didn't reply. When he realized I wasn't speaking he explained, "I've tried calling Billy a few times throughout the week. He never has much to say and after the blow up we had last weekend I think he'll be giving me the cold shoulder for a while."

"What happened last weekend?" I asked as soon as he finished talking.

"I told him that the dispute with Jake and those guys should have been dealt with, but Billy…Damn, Bells, something else is going on with him. He was very angry and defensive about Sam Uley and his friends. He kept going on and on about Native American law and that I had no business in it."

Charlie snorted and said, "I couldn't actually believe Billy pulled that card with me. We've been thick as thieves since we were kids and Billy has never acted that way when it comes to Tribal matters. The only other time he got this defensive was when the Cullens first moved to Forks."

"What?" Their name sent a jolt of pain through my chest. But I tried to ignore it as I asked, "What did he act defensive over them for?"

Charlie rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively, "Oh, the Quileutes have superstitions and deeply rooted prejudice, Bells."

I frowned as I recalled Jake's story the day before. Carefully I said, "Jake mentioned Billy and the elders thinking the Cullens had…killed or kidnapped me when the search happened."

This was the first time Charlie or I had ever spoken of the night the Cullens left. This was certainly the first time I had directly mentioned the search to find me when I'd gone missing in action. Charlie's expression was stunned. As the second ticked by, I became uncomfortable. I started shifting anxiously in my seat before mumbling, "Dad…stop gaping at me."

My words broke him from his trance. He took an awkward gulp of coffee before clearing his throat and saying, "Yes, Billy is good man, but he and his peoples' beliefs involve silly superstitions, Bells. Don't worry about that; I'm going to knock some sense into him soon."

I repeated, "Soon?"

He replied, "Today. I was about to leave. I wanted to tell you to bring Jake to La Push in about an hour."

"I don't know about that…"

"Bells, trust your old man for once, huh?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "Okay, Dad."

After Charlie left, I slowly walked to the couch and crouched down. I was eye-level with Jake's sleeping form. He was snoring softly and I found the sound both comforting and amusing. His long legs were nearly hanging off of the end of the couch and his bare arms were dangling to the floor. Since he was asleep and couldn't see me watching, I soaked in his image.

His muscles were definitely developing well. I thought back to the weeks before; his arms never seemed this defined. But I couldn't be sure if that was because I hadn't been focusing on details involving his appearance in the beginning of our friendship or if his jackets had been hiding his muscles from my view. After all, I'd never seen him in anything but thick jackets until a week ago. I noticed his physique then. Maybe he had defined muscles from the beginning? _How could I not have noticed?_ _Why had it taken him being in distress and practically naked in the backseat of his car for me to notice his physical beauty?_

Beauty in such a natural and humbling way. Beautiful in such a manly, wild way. Like the forest outside. Like the sun. I bit my bottom lip and debated if I should wake him immediately or bribe him with breakfast before dropping the bomb. Quietly I murmured, "Jake, wake up."

His snoring continued. I sighed and poked him in the shoulder; he still kept snoring. I whispered, "Jake? Jake, wake up."

He snorted and sleepily mumbled, "Bells?"

I smiled and gently shoved his shoulder. "Yeah, it's me. Wake up."

He groaned, stretched widely and threw his thin blanket to the floor before sitting up. I scrambled out of his way as he stretched long and hard. He swiped at his heavily lidded eyes and blinked. "Hmm, 'Morning, Bells."

"Good morning, Jake."

"What time is it?"

He groaned when I answered him and dramatically demanded, "_Why_ am I up so early on a Saturday morning? It's the _weekend_, Bella."

"Well…" I reluctantly said, "Charlie left for La Push. He says he's going to talk to Billy. Actually, he said he was going to knock some sense into Billy."

Jake raised his brows and muttered bitterly, "The old man needs it."

"Jake," I sighed, "I hate that this is happening. I think I should talk to Billy."

He chuckled and stretched his arms again. I glanced away hurriedly and stood up. I blurted, "What do you want for breakfast?"

"I don't care, Bells. I'd rather sleep some more."

"Well…you can't." I mumbled as I walked toward the kitchen, trying to get as far from Jake's naked chest as I could.

"Why?" He asked curiously as he stood and followed me. I began grabbing ingredients from the pantry. I really didn't want to tell him, but I knew I had to. So I stammered, "Uh, well, Charlie kinda wants us in La Push in an hour."

Jake sighed heavily and said, "Damn."

I winced and offered, "I can make a chocolate shake for you. Would that help?"

He grinned and plopped down in his normal chair near the table. "With extra chocolate syrup, right?"

I rolled my eyes as I began to heat up a skillet on the stove-top. I replied dryly, "You know, occasionally you have to lay off the sugar."

He laughed in delight and asked, "Why would I do that? Sugar is wonderful."

I shook my head and began to cook breakfast. By the time he was done and I had washed all of the dishes, an hour had already passed. I fumbled around in my bedroom while trying to shimmy a particularly tight pair of jeans up my legs. I fell over while shoving my head through my sweatshirt before I ran down the staircase. Jake was calmly slipping his massive boots on his feet when I came to a sliding halt at the front door. I grabbed my keys off of the peg and demanded, "Why haven't you put a shirt on yet?"

Jake raised a perfectly dark eyebrow and said, "I was about to."

"Well, we have to go. I swore to Charlie that I would have you there once you..."

The muscles of his back expanded and contracted intriguingly as he strolled from the living room to the wash room. He returned a minute later while stuffing his head and arms through a dark green t-shirt; I bit my lip and watched owlishly. He grabbed his jacket off of the coat-rack and slipped it on before asking with a silly smile, "Have you lost all brain function, Bells? Are you alright?"

I jumped and quickly opened the front door. We walked to the truck as I answered, "I'm fine, Jake. Just nervous. I don't want you getting upset anymore."

We both slammed the old truck's door. I cranked the engine to life and pulled out of the drive as Jake said, "Aw, Bells, I'll be okay."

We rode in silence until I pulled into the Blacks' driveway. As I slowly drew the key from the ignition Jake said, "It's easier for me because you're here."

I glanced at him in the passenger side of the cab and nodded. He looked serious, yet kind and nervous. "Yeah, Jake, it's easier for me when you're around too. A lot easier."

As we walked to the front door, I slipped my hand in his. I peeked upward to gauge his reaction; he didn't notice my subtle glimpse. He was looking straight ahead at his front door and I could see a gentle smile tugging at the corners of his full lips. He squeezed his warm palm against my own softly and briefly as we came to the door. We both stood still for a moment- neither of us let go of the others' hand- before I squeezed his palm and slowly withdrew my hand from his. I didn't look at him as I quietly said, "We might as well get this over with. You can come back to Forks if this doesn't go well with Billy. You don't have to deal with any of this, Jake."

Jake reached for the door handle as he whispered, "You don't know what it feels like to hear you say that to me, Bells."

Then he opened the door and walked through. After a moment, I stumbled through the doorway as well. Jake reached his long arm over the top of my head and shut the door. I stayed hovering next to Jake's side as I took in the sight of Charlie and Billy surrounding the rickety kitchen table. Both wore somber expressions and I thought I could detect frustration in Charlie's eyes. Billy stared at us in a very observing way before he said, "Jake."

I could practically feel Jake's uncomfortable vibe as he replied quietly, "Dad."

Billy's voice was low and calm as he said, "I want you to come back home."

Jake's chest heaved slightly and he sighed so quietly I knew neither of our fathers could hear it. He muttered, "Are you going to do something about Lahote? Or Sam Uley or Jared Cameron?"

Billy sighed deeply and his voice was tired as he spoke, "Jake, son, I've already spoken to all three of them. In fact, I spoke to the elders days ago and we all had a meeting with Sam, Jared and Paul. Sam is feeling remorse for what happened. He says he's already apologized to you on Paul's behalf-"

Jake cut Billy off, "I couldn't care less about how sorry Sam tries to act. They're overgrown bullies, Dad, and I won't tolerate it."

Billy sighed again, "I understand how frustrating and scary the situation probably was, but Sam has assured that Paul will be kept far from you, Quil, Embry and Bella."

_"Assured?"_ Jake repeated, "Since when does Sam run things, Dad? You're the Chief; what you say is what goes. I don't want Sam and his goons ruling everything and neither should you."

Billy opened his mouth as if to argue, but quickly shut it and put his hands to his face. The tension in the room was thick and I felt as if Charlie and I were intruding on a conversation not meant for our ears, but I wouldn't leave Jake. _I couldn't._ Billy observed Jake quietly before saying, "I don't necessarily like how things are going either, Jake. Trust me when I tell you that I wish Sam, Jared and Paul weren't needed, but they _are_ needed. There are things you don't know, Jacob, and I'm not at liberty to explain. Even if I think those boys overstep the boundaries on occasion, I know they are important to the tribe. One day you'll understand."

Jake sighed and muttered, "Whatever, Dad. I'll come home, but if Lahote comes at me again, I won't be calm this time. He shoves anybody who gets in his way around, but I won't let him do it to me."

There was true fear in Billy's dark eyes as he gravelly said, "Jake…"

"No, Dad." Jake cut him off fiercely, "I've had enough of Lahote. He's hated me for years and for no justifiable reason. Do you know how much self-control it took not to smash his face in when he grabbed me? You don't have any idea how difficult it was for me to stand there without reacting while Bella was scared."

Billy's eyes flickered to meet mine for a second before he returned his gaze to his son. He slowly said, "You've always had a level head on your shoulders, son. All I ask is that you don't let your anger get the best of you anytime soon. Avoid Paul Lahote if, somehow, you and he meet."

I frowned as Jake turned to walk back outside. He opened the door and called over his shoulder, "Are you coming, Bells?"

I followed after another glance at Billy and Charlie. I trotted down the porch steps and followed Jake's long-legged stride with great difficulty. We walked down the narrow road that led to the beach. Once the beach came into view and the salty air was tickling my nose, his pace slowed. He mumbled, "Sorry. I should've slowed down."

"You're fine," I answered.

We walked without speaking until we came to a worn out, fallen tree several yards from the water. Jake plopped down abruptly, so I followed. My bottom was immediately soaked with wet sand, but I didn't mind. I was worried for Jake, wondering what he was thinking. Carefully, I laid my head on his shoulder and gazed at the beautiful ocean view. The mid-morning sky was a dark gray and the ocean waves were calmly lapping at the sand yards from us. Jake finally spoke, "I don't understand Dad's cryptic speech."

"Me either." I admitted quietly.

I could feel the vibrations of his husky voice through his broad shoulder as he ranted, "What in the hell does he mean when he says that I don't understand? What does he mean when he says that they're needed and important to the tribe? That doesn't make any sense. Every single person is important to the tribe. Each of us is what makes our tribe, yet he and the elders single out Uley, Lahote and Cameron. What makes them so special? Why are they on such a high pedestal?"

His warm hand drifted gradually for mine and I didn't halt his progress once he finally intertwined his fingers around my own. I glanced down and gazed at our hands; his dark skin and big palm dwarfed my tiny, pale one. After a while he spoke again, "They look at me sometimes."

Frowning, I asked, "Who looks at you, Jake?"

"Sam Uley and his two idiots." He answered mutely, "A few weeks back Sam came to the gymnasium during my P.E class. He sat in the stands all hour and watched the students while we ran the track. I caught him staring directly at me a dozen times."

My frown deepened as he explained, "The week after you first came to my house, Quil and I were here, on the beach, goofing around and throwing a football, when we saw Lahote and Sam walking along the opposite side of the sand. It was pretty late in the evening and we were sure that they would come and escort us home because we were outside after curfew, but they hung back and just watched us. Quil got so creeped out that we finally left."

Slowly I said, "That…isn't good, Jake."

He said, "I know. At first, I thought I was being paranoid, but I know I'm not now."

"Why do you sound so sure?"

"Because Sam has been sitting outside of school every single day since I left to stay with you."

My throat constricted and my heart skipped a beat. When I finally gained the capability to speak I asked, "Has he spoke to you?"

Jake shook his head and whispered, "No."

"What did he do?"

"Just stood across the lot from me and watched. He walked away seconds before your truck pulled in the parking lot every time."

"We have to tell Charlie."

"It won't help, Bella.

"I have to do whatever I can. My God, Jake, he's stalking you."

"Billy knows it, and if my own father won't do anything to stop a gang from watching me, what do you think Charlie can do?"

I stuttered, "I-I'm not sure, but, you can come back to my house. You can't stay here, Jake. I have a terrible feeling about this."

"No, Bells," Jake's voice was gentle now; "I won't let them run me away from my own home. I'll figure it all out; don't you worry about it."

_How could I not worry?_ Jake being in danger was the exact same as me being in danger. If Jake was hurting, then I was hurting. If he was sad, then I was sad. If he was being threatened, then I was being threatened. _What could I do?_ I gnawed on my bottom lip anxiously as I curled my smaller body tightly against Jake's side; we fit together like two puzzle pieces. My body was just small enough to slide comfortably against the slot underneath his arm.

Jake joked quietly, "You'll have to start visiting me daily now that I'm staying in my own house again."

"Of course, Jake," I answered just as quietly, "You know I will."

Author's Note: _I would love more reviews on your opinions:) particularly on what you think might happen or what you're afraid might happen. After all, I worked hard to update twice! :) Thanks for reading._


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **_To Grace: I update daily and thanks so much. Thank you all for your views and reviews:) I've made it to nearly two thousand views, which I'm so excited about. Now, read on and enjoy!_

Jake had only been back in his own house for three days, but I found my house strangely empty without his presence. After school each day, I would drive to La Push. Billy was always there, but we wouldn't talk. He would silently sit on the back patio and stare at the forest scenery. It was such odd behavior for Billy that I wondered if he was still thinking of his arguments with Jake. On the second day that Jake had been home, he told me Billy was acting strangely. Now, I definitely understood what he meant.

I felt uncomfortable sitting in the Blacks' house with Billy in such a mood, so I went to my truck, opened the tailgate and plopped down. The metal was cold and the coldness slipped through my layer of clothing as I took in the soothing environment. The trees dance in the freezing breeze and the air was thick with mist. I could hardly see more than a few yards down the narrowed road as I waited for Jake to come walking down the road. I still wasn't completely sure what time Jake's school released its students, but I knew it was about an hour after mine. I wasn't particularly impatient, so I grabbed my backpack from the cab of the truck and sat on the tailgate, working out complex equations until I heard a husky voice say, "Hey, Bells."

I jerked and let out a little yelp. I slammed the math textbook shut and turned to the left while chastising, "Jake, you scared me, you dork."

He didn't laugh and when I saw his expression, concern welled inside of me. I asked, "Hey, what's wrong?"

He sighed deeply and came around the fender to sit beside me on the tailgate. His legs were long enough that his feet touched the muddy ground easily; my feet dangled over a foot in the air. His face was strained as he glared at the forest across the road from us. He said, "Remember how Embry was feeling sick Sunday night and when Quil and I stopped by his house yesterday, his mom told us he couldn't see us?"

I nodded and whispered, "Yes."

"Well," His voice mirrored his expression, "Quil and I just saw him walking along the back path that leads to the elders' cabin with Sam."

I gaped as I stuttered, "B-But he's sick. He doesn't like them. _What?"_

Jake nodded and snorted, "Quil was pissed, but that was a good thing because if I hadn't needed to calm him down, then I would have been the irate one."

"Did you try talking to Embry?"

"Not really." He answered dully, "He was pretty far away, but Quil hurled some nasty words their way."

I winced and said, "Maybe…maybe Embry isn't willingly following them."

Jake's sounded in pain as he replied, "I think he is willing."

"What makes you think that?"

He sighed and muttered, "Embry's hair was cut off."

I gasped loudly and breathed, "No."

Jake nodded wordlessly and without looking at me. Silence passed between us and I had no idea what to say; my mind was a mixture of fear for Embry and pain for Jake. Finally Jake asked, "Do you think they're taking drugs?"

I answered slowly, "It's possible, Jake, but I could never see Embry…"

"I know," Jake whispered, "Me either."

More silence engulfed us while I sat shivering in the misty air. Jake eventually noticed my shivers and said, "Let's get inside where it's warm."

"Aren't you cold too?"

Jake shrugged and vaguely answered, "A little bit. C'mon." He grabbed my backpack and offered one hand to me. I took it as he guided me across the slippery yard. As we entered the house, I chuckled halfheartedly and commented, "You know, you're getting really good at holding both of us upright on slick surfaces. You basically carry me up the slope every time we go to the garage now."

He offered a feeble smile in return and I ached to know that his nature brightness had been dimmed by Sam Uley. Anger boiled in my veins as Jake went to the kitchen. This was all Sam Uley's fault. _How dare he take Embry?_ _How dare he let his stupid friend physically assault Jake?_ And it was Billy's fault too. _How dare he not use his power to protect his son from harm?_ Jake sat at the table with chips and a sandwich. He wordlessly handed over a can of soda, which I drank. After Jake finished eating, he washed his plate and sighed, "I'm sorry that I'm not good company today, Bells."

I walked to his slumped over form because I couldn't stand to see him upset. He had both large palms braced on the side of the countertop with his head bowed; his dark hair formed a curtain around him. I went to his side and, after an awkward hesitation; I slipped my body in between the space separating Jake from the countertop. The space was big enough that my tiny body easily fit, but I knew my bold move had startled him because he gasped slightly. I wasn't the one who normally initiated a move first, so his shock was understandable. A part of me was shocked at my body's movement too.

His eyes, which had been closed, popped open and his head snapped upward. He questioned, "Bells…?" The tone was so shaky, but his gaze was burning with yearning. Our bodies were a whisper apart and I could feel him. I could feel his warm, his strength, his weakness, his love. I could _feel_ him. The tangible sensation, much like the atmosphere before our first kiss, was swirling around us again. It was intoxicating, but I attempted to ignore the powerful feeling as I murmured, "You aren't bad company."

A sad smile flickered across his full lips. He murmured, "I'm not? Not even today?"

I thought he had leaned a fraction of an inch closer, but I couldn't be sure. I said, "No, of course you aren't. You're great company."

Jake hummed and whispered huskily, "You think so?"

I nodded and parted my lips to speak, but I wasn't sure what I wanted to say. _Tell him how wonderful he is._ _Tell him how kind he is. Tell him._ I whispered, "Yes, I think so. You're the best company possible."

Jake's mocha eyes darkened more so than normal as he asked, "How can you think that? I think I'm pretty average and boring."

I shook my head slightly; I was too afraid I'd shatter the moment if I moved too much. I said, "You're the opposite of average and boring, Jake."

I could see the beginning of a bright smile peeking through his saddened mood as he leaned closer until his nose was skimming the side of my neck. He pushed his face against the sensitive skin and breathed my scent in leisurely. He murmured, "What am I, Bells?"

I was sure that any other person would be confused by his seemingly random question, but I knew what he was asking. My hands crept upward slowly; they felt heavy as if they were made of lead. Inch by inch, I wrapped my arms around his muscular waist and stated, "You're the sun. You're my…" I trailed off because I wasn't entirely sure how to finish my sentence. He was my best friend. He was my confidante and my safe harbor. He was the light in my life. _How could I explain such complex things to him without confusing us both?_

"I'm your…" Jake's lips brushed across my collarbone as he whispered, "I'm your…what, Bella?"

"My Jacob." I exhaled as he pressed a soft, chaste kiss on the bare skin of my collarbone. It was like those two, simple words opened a gate and the flood crashed through. Jake's breathing faltered and then he let out a sound of pure, intense happiness. The sound was so raw that it hit my heart with a crippling, yet healing force. I was left breathless as he trailed his lips up my neck until he reached my ear. My fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt and pulled until he took a step forward. That one step brought his body flush against my own. Bright blue and red colors burst beneath my shut eyelids as I turned my head to meet his lips while bringing my hands to Jake's head. I gripped his hair and held on tightly.

The kiss was just as passionate, just as irresistible, and just as wonderful as the first. But it was different too. It held desperation to it that the first one didn't have. This was filled with the hunger that I had only gotten a glimpse of during the other kiss. The hunger was raw and even a bit frantic. Emotions that were utterly _Jake_, hit me squarely in the chest and pushed all coherent thoughts from my brain. I was working on emotions only. I was sure Jake felt the same way.

His strong arm slithered around my waist and pulled me up. Our lips broke apart for less than five seconds as he hoisted me on the countertop. Then our lips were crushing together again. My hands were gripping his hair and I could feel his scalp beneath my fingertips as his hands roamed over my body. Our lips were perfectly in sync. His palms splayed across my lower back and I felt as if we were trying to consume one another. I didn't feel close enough even though our bodies were glued to each other; I didn't think I could _ever_ feel close enough to him.

Foreign pleasures coursed through me and I felt like I might catch on fire. _Was it possible to spontaneously combust?_ As the speed of the kiss increased and each of us kept pulling at the other, I decided it was certainly possible to spontaneously combust. My body surely couldn't hold this many emotions all at one time. I was dizzy and so light-headed that I pulled away from Jake's soft lips and dropped my forehead to his heaving chest. He stepped closer until his thighs were hitting the edge of the counter so he could gather my slumped form in his arms. His heart was thundering in his chest so loudly that I could easily hear and feel it against my head. There were no sounds in the Blacks' dingy kitchen besides the harsh, panting breaths coming from each of us. It took several moments before I could breathe normally, but my hurt still galloped at a frantic pace.

By the time I lifted my head from his chest, he was grinning. The smile was so happy, so smug, and so boyish, that I couldn't help but blush and chuckle. A part of me was uneasy with what we had just shared because I knew I wasn't ready. I wasn't completely healed and I was terrified of hurting Jacob. But the kiss was done and there was nothing I could do to take it back. My body was still tingling and shivering pleasurably, so I wasn't sure if I actually wished to take the kiss back or not. It was a beautiful thing, but intense and so real and so untamed. The feelings building inside of me were too much. I was afraid, absolutely terrified, because I knew _feelings_ were what could destroy a person.

And when a person holds feelings inside of them for another person, it gave that person ammunition to kill. To attack. To hurt. To destroy. And I didn't want to be holding the ammunition with Jake on the other side, battered and broken like me. The very thought of Jake losing his light was enough to make me wiggle restlessly until he stepped back from the counter.

I hoped off of the countertop and looked at my shoes while mumbling, "Uh, maybe I should head home, Jake. I'll come by tomorrow."

He sounded dazed as he said, "What?"

I couldn't bear to look at him, so I briskly walked out of the house and tore across the yard. I was fumbling with my keys when I heard the front door slam shut. Jake called out to me and his voice was so strained that I felt a brutal stab at my heart. _I was already hurting him._ I opened the truck door after a couple more fumbles from my shaking hands. Jake's hand gently gripped my shoulder, but I shrugged him off.

"Stop, Jake," I shakily replied, "I need to get home."

"No," His voice was suddenly strong, "No, Bella, turn and look at me."

I gripped the opened door for support and glared at the inside of the truck cab. I said, "Jake, I'm trying to help both of us right now. We need some distance for today."

"No," Jake firmly replied as he turned my body around. The tears were gathering in my eyes by the time Jake managed to gently wrestle me into submission. His handsome face was so strong and his dark eyes were burning with a whirlwind of emotions. He spoke slowly and firmly, "I want to know what's making you run from me."

"Jake-" I began, but he cut me off with a firm, "You'll never get anywhere in life if you continuously avoid your problems, Bella."

Irritation rose sharply as I shot back, "Let go of me."

His hands instantly released me. Now, it seemed, the entire situation had changed drastically. As if my words had flipped a switch inside of him. Jake's voice was much quieter now as he replied, "Fine, Bells. Run away from whatever is bothering you. Every single time I think we are making solid progress, you tuck tail and run. I can't help you if you won't allow me to. You've got to _want_ it."

I tried to walk away from him, tried to turn around and run just like he had said, but my feet wouldn't move. I couldn't move. I glared at him and he gazed back with the most gut-wrenching look of disappointment and sorrow. I mumbled, "I don't run away every time."

"I don't necessarily mean physical running, Bella," Jake sounded exasperated, "I know he hurt you, Bella. Dammit, I know Cullen nearly killed you, but you shouldn't keep living a miserable life over somebody who isn't worth it. _He_ isn't worth it."

My body was trembling and the tears were threatening to fall as Jake took a step closer. His voice was strong and unwavering as he ranted on, "You've been doing so much better, Bella. Charlie has noticed; everyone has noticed how much better you're getting. Why can't you do this one last thing? You're hanging on to him by a single thread and if you'd let him go then you'd finally be free to live."

He took my frozen hands in his and rubbed softly as he gazed at me, "Bells, honey, you're strong. I can see it and I want you to see it too. I want you to know that you're strong. You're worth so much more than him."

My voice was thick with emotion as I whispered, "You make him out to be this evil villain, and he wasn't like that."

"Then you and I will have to agree to disagree on that point, Bella, but that isn't what I want you to focus on. Did you hear _anything_ else I had to say?"

I nodded wordlessly and sniffled while he continued to softly rub my hands in between his own. We stood in silence for a few moments until I shakily admitted, "I'm scared."

"Of what, Bells?"

"That's why I keep running from you."

His voice sounded full of dismay as he murmured, "You're scared of me?"

"Not in the way you might think." I brought my head forward until I was comfortably leaning against his chest. Automatically, his arms folded around my body as I stammered, "I-I…I'm scared of what I feel for you, Jake. It's…something I never expected to feel. It's big."

His arms flexed against me, but he didn't react to my words in any other way. After a moment, I felt him rub his cheek against the top of my head as he murmured, "I won't hurt you. I'm not like him, Bells. Haven't I showed you that by now?"

"I know you aren't Edward."

Both of us stiffened at the mention of his name; I'd only spoken his name out loud on the single occasion that I confessed our breakup to Jake. And that had been emotionally disastrous for me. Jake relaxed and, a moment later, my body gradually began to relax as well. Then, Jake quietly said, "We can take things as slow as you need, Bella. I mean that completely. And I want you to know that I can make you happier if you'd only let him go. If you'd only give me a chance."

"Jake…" I whispered painfully, "I don't think I can do this. You're so wonderful and brilliant. You're so healthy and…and just full of life. I don't want to ruin that for you and that's what will happen if I allow myself to…to have a relationship with you."

"You don't know that, Bella," He insisted intently, "You can't know that because you haven't even tried. You aren't some old, sick, dying animal. You're capable of being healthy and happy too, and I'm the one standing beside you and telling you I want to be that person to show you."

I bit my lip so hard that I tasted blood. I jolted and brought one of my hands to my bottom lip while Jake kept an anxious hold on my other hand. It was then that I realized what I had dreaded was finally happening. This was real. Jake was blatantly confessing the feelings I had tried denying and ignoring for the last three months. There was no denying my personal emotions toward Jake anymore either. My delusional mind had attempted to deny him, but I couldn't now. I wasn't that blind. And the way he looked at me sometimes, as if I was the only thing he needed in life, caused flames to flare within my being. I wondered if I honestly could tell him no. _No,_ _I will not let myself love you. No, I will not allow you to love me either. Could I do that? Rip him apart like that? _No one had ever made me feel the way he did. So on fire. So emotional. So safe and content. So normal, yet absolutely desirable.

He had healed part of me; that was true. And when I was around him, I felt content and warm even if the reality was that safety, from me, was only an illusion. I wasn't safe and I doubted I ever would be again in my life; Victoria could kill me at any time. Although, nearly five months after the Cullens departed, I was beginning to have doubts about Victoria coming back to Forks.

"Bells?"

Jake's soft, nervous voice brought me out of my complex, mental ramblings. I took a deep breath and stammered, "Jake…if I…if we…"

I stopped, took another deep breath and tried again. "I really don't know if I can do this, but…I'll try. For you, I'll try. I-I think…that this can end up going badly wrong. And I don't want to lose your friendship, Jake. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Jake let out a shuddering breath before spinning me around and lifting me a foot off of the ground. He crushed me to him and hugged tightly. He promised fiercely, "Bells, I swear we'll take everything as slow as you want. I don't expect things to change; we're just Jake and Bells. Okay, honey? We're still Jake and Bells."

I let his warmth seep into me as I tiredly whispered, "Jake and Bells."

**Author's Note:** _Thoughts on the EMBRY? The conversations? The kiss? Bella's reactions? What are you anticipating now? I would love to know! Review if you'd like:)_


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** _Thank you for the reviews:) Enjoy this chapter!_

Two weeks passed and Jake stayed true to his word; we didn't change. We stayed simple. We stayed as Jake and Bells. We didn't kiss again and I couldn't fully decide if I was thankful or upset about that. I wondered, on more than one occasion, when we were around Quil, if Jake had told Quil about..._us._ And even though I was curious to know if Jake spoke about me to Quil, I was also weary. _What kind of things did teenage boys talk about when concerning a girl?_ I shuddered to think of that question too deeply. Nonetheless, Jake and Quil never mentioned relationships and Quil had even stopped making quirky, sexual comments, which I knew had to be Jake's doing. That let me know that it was likely that the boys had spoken about me.

The only odd thing that had occurred in the last two weeks was yesterday evening when Jake had called me. We didn't often talk over the phone unless I was letting him know I was on the way to La Push, so I was curious instantly. He'd sounded nervous once I asked him why he was calling. He'd told me that he had made something for me. A gift, he had called it.

I was thinking of the mysterious gift I had yet to receive as I sat on the porch steps with a novel in my hands. I was trying to concentrate on the words, but couldn't. My mind was thinking of entirely too many things; _what had Jake gotten me? Had he spent a large amount of money on it?_ I sincerely hoped he hadn't. I wanted to see him today, but knew he was at school. I had hoped to pass the hour long time gape in between our school schedules while relaxing at home, but it seemed as if that wasn't going to happen.

I shut the book and went inside to fetch my keys before heading to my truck. I wondered about Jake's nervous call and the unknown gift the entire drive to La Push. By the time I parked the truck, I was nervous too. _Was I supposed to buy him a gift because he had gotten me one? Why had he gotten me a gift in the first place?_ Christmas had passed a few weeks after Jake and I started hanging out, so surely, he wasn't giving me a Christmas present? _Was he?_

I knocked quietly on the door before opening it and walking in. Billy was sitting at the kitchen table. I gave a hesitant nod. I was still frustrated with him. He and Jake were no longer arguing, but Jake said their relationship was still definitely strained. Jake couldn't stand to listen to Billy's cryptic messages and Billy only continued to give Jake riddles. He had even told me that Billy kept shooting him pitiful glances; those looks were only proving to annoy Jake.

Billy nodded back somberly. "How are you, Bella?"

"I'm fine…" I answered cautiously, "Has Jake came home from school yet?"

Billy shook his head, so I turned to walk back out the front door. I planned to sit on my tailgate and patiently wait for him, but Billy's grave voice halted my exit.

"Bella, wait a moment. I have to speak with you."

Bit by bit, I turned back around. We stared at one another for a prolonged moment and I felt under observation as Billy studied me. Finally he spoke, "You're good for Jacob."

I was startled and had no reply.

Billy spoke again, "I know he's angry at me right now and I know he thinks I'm choosing Sam Uley's side over his, but that isn't the case. Jake will understand soon. But I'm afraid that, with you and him being joined at the hip day after day, you'll be too close and get caught in the crossfire."

"What…" I asked slowly, "Are you talking about, Billy?"

He sighed and said, "I'll tell you as I have told Jake. Sam Uley, Paul Lahote, and Jared Cameron are Protectors of Our People. They aren't bad gang members, Bella."

My brows pulled together and I tried to form a rational response. I wondered if Billy was developing a mental condition, but cast the idea aside. He looked too serious and too calm to be considered mentally ill. When it was clear that I wasn't going to reply, Billy pressed his lips together tightly.

"There is great evil in this world, Bella. There are monsters." His dark eyes saw too much as he said, "You know of the monsters, Bella. You've met them."

My face paled and my heartbeat dropped dramatically. _He didn't know, he didn't know, he couldn't know._ Charlie's words echoed in my mind: _The Quileutes have deeply rooted prejudice. He and his peoples' beliefs involve silly superstitions...The only other time he got this defensive was when the Cullens first moved to Forks. _The thoughts fused together reluctantly as if they were opposing forces that hated one another. _Billy knew the Cullens were vampires._

"You know what few humans know, Bella. You know what Jake does not and that's why I can tell you this. There are monsters and there are those who protect innocents from the monsters. The La Push Gang isn't a gang of unruly teenagers; they're Protectors. They protect this land from Cold Ones."

I was unaware of my surroundings, unaware of the cold seeping through my body, unaware of the numbness spreading across my fingertips, unaware of my harsh breathing. All I could hear was Billy's words. _Protectors. Cold Ones. Vampires._ I wanted to respond, I wanted to demand for Billy to fully explain himself. I wanted to know what his confession meant. For myself. For Jake. _Protectors. Cold Ones. Vampires._ I sucked in a deep breath while leaning against the door for support. My legs were shaking as I tried to form a logical thought, but I was distracted even further when I was nearly knocked over as the front door opened.

Dark tanned hands shot out and caught me before I could fully fall. Jake steadied me. "Bella, are you okay? Did you-"

His questions came to a faltering halt as he took in my pale face and frightened expression. His face and eyes went flat for a fraction of a second before fury surged forward. It was so misplaced and intense that I flinched as he whirled around to his father and loudly demanded, "What did you do to her?"

Billy's eyes widened and he put his hands up in a calming way. He spoke softly, "Jake, I've done nothing. Take a moment to breathe and let the anger go."

"She's terrified." Jake shot back, "Look at her. You did this."

Billy's eyes flickered to me before he put his eyes back on his son. He said, "Jake, she and I were only talking. She's okay. The only thing frightening her is your anger."

Jake's body was tall, strong, and quivering with tension. Wanting to calm him, I stepped forward and placed my hand on his forearm. My eyes widened and I frantically asked, "Jake, are you sick?"

He glared at Billy for a moment longer before turning to me and muttering, "No, Bells, I'm not sick. I'm just pissed off. What happened?"

"We'll talk about that later, Jake, you're burning up."

"What?" He asked blankly.

I touched his forearm again before glancing anxiously at Billy. He wasn't moving, just staring at Jake in horror. I was confused by his expression, but I focused my attention on Jake and asked, "You aren't feeling ill? Stomach ache? Headache?"

He shook his head and mumbled, "No. It's just…too damn hot in here. Let's get out of here. Let's just go to the beach."

He tugged on my hand until I followed him out the door. We walked side by side for some time. Jake never let go of my hand. I kept glancing at him anxiously; I could feel the anger running off of him in waves. Once we reached the beach, we walked across the sand. With each minute that passed, Jake seemed to calm. Finally he sighed and mumbled, "I want to sit down."

We ventured to the same fallen tree log we sat at the last time we were on the beach. As soon as my bottom touched the sand, my pants dampened. Time passed without either of us speaking before he asked, "What happened with Dad?"

"He was just…" I trailed off before lying, "He was telling me about Sam and saying that he isn't running a gang."

Jake snorted bitterly and sharply replied, "Yeah, right. He isn't running a gang; I bet he's running a cult. How else would Sam have gotten his hands on Embry and brainwashed him?"

I frowned and asked, "Brainwashed?"

"Oh yes," He sarcastically explained, "Quil and I saw Embry walking out of his house just a few minutes ago. Today, we heard that Em has officially dropped out of school."

I gasped. Jake glanced at my face before turning away from me. He whispered in a shaky voice, "Quitting school is the last thing in the world that Embry would do. He's the type that could become a surgeon or a scientist or something amazing, Bella. Now Sam has him and his plans are ruined."

The body heat from him was soaking through my clothes as we sat side-by-side. I bit my lower lip before slipping my hand into his. I quietly asked, "Hey, Jake?"

There was a pause and I watched as he tried to visibly relax. His attempt failed; when he looked at me I could see the worry and frustration lurking just beneath the surface. I had never seen this side of Jake before and I kept thinking how wrong it was. This wasn't normal for him. "Yes, Bells?"

I struggled to distract him from his troubles, "I've been wondering about my gift all day long. Do I get it today?"

Jake's expression smoothed somewhat, but the tension still seemed to be growing inside of him, although his voice was soft as he said, "If you want it, honey."

I looked up at him and nodded silently. Then I watched as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet bag. Perplexed, I held my palm out when he instructed me to do so. I watched intently as he untied the strings and pulled out a brown corded bracelet with small materials weaved to form a simple, but beautiful pattern. A small smile touched my lips as I said, "I love it. It's just right for me."

He chuckled as his thick, but gentle fingers slid the bracelet over my wrist. It fit perfectly; we smiled at each other and I started to pull my hand to my chest when he whispered, "Wait."

Gently, he took my wrist and held my arm straight out in front of my body. He reached into the bag again and retrieved a wooden shape that dangled from a tiny clip. My eyebrows drew together as he carefully pinned the shape to the bottom of the bracelet. He explained, "It's a carving of a wolf. It took me a while, but I finally finished it."

I brought my wrist closer to my face and inspected the intricate figurine; the wood was a dark, rich color and the tiny detailed grooves left me in awe. I murmured, "You did this?"

"Yeah," His voice was just a quiet as mine, "Dad taught me when I was a kid. I thought you would like it. I know you aren't into diamonds or gold."

I nodded and blinked rapidly as my eyes turned misty. Of course, he knew that. I had never told him that, but he _knew._ I curiously asked, "Why a wolf?"

"Oh," He said, "It seemed natural to carve a wolf. They're sacred animals to the tribe. It's kind of our thing."

Softly, I touched the smoothness of the wood. I lowered my finger gradually and finally dropped my arm, so I could meet Jake's gaze. I felt my lips tremble involuntarily before I tucked my body closer to his and put my head against his neck. He embraced me as naturally as the ocean waves embraced the shore. I clutched his shirt and murmured, "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, honey." He held me close and didn't speak further. It was almost as if he could read my mind; he knew I didn't feel like talking. We watched the pearl gray sky turn midnight blue. I thought of love, of my life, of the boy beside me, of the girl I knew I had been three months ago before Jacob came in to my life and the girl I was now. Those two girls were the same, yet so different. My grip tightened on Jake's shirt and he hugged me even closer.

I wasn't sure if I was healed yet; I still felt too much pain to think I was completely fixed. I wasn't sure if I would ever understand why Edward and the Cullens were brought in my life just to be ripped away, but I accepted it. I wasn't sure if my love for them would ever end, but I knew that it was possible to love again. I loved Jake. There was plenty that I was unsure about, but I knew I would continue marching on even with all of my insecurities and uncertainty. And I had Jake to thank for making me realize my life was worth living. I had Charlie and Renee. I had a life filled with opportunities and possibilities.

The moon was shining brightly tonight, but the sky had long since darkened. The wind was whipping, but I wasn't cold because Jake's fevered skin was pressed securely against me. I murmured, "Thank you…"

His hand was softly running through my hair as he whispered, "For what, Bells?"

I kept my forehead firmly against his neck as I said, "Thank you for saving me every day…and for helping me set my priorities straight. And for…"

Jake waited patiently as I finally stuttered, "And for…loving me."

His hand faltered before picking up its rhythm and continuing to rub my scalp. He hunkered down closer to me and pressed his full lips to my cheek. He murmured against my skin, "I'll keep saving you every day if that's what you need. As for loving you, it's like breathing. Natural, effortless, a necessity."

I let out a watery laugh and turned my head so our lips would meet. The power, the feeling, was instantaneous and unfathomable. His lips were like gentle fire. He warmed me, protected me and defrosted my being. His strong arms caged me against the fallen log as our lips moved in unhurried, gentle, teasing movements. I could hear the soothing sound of the water lapping against the sand; I could smell the salty water and feel the lazy breeze caressing strands of my hair. The bliss continued until I was utterly oblivious to our surroundings. Jake's heart hammered strongly in his chest as I was left gasping for breath. We stayed intertwined for several minutes until Jake murmured, "You should get home to Charlie."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered, "Come with me."

He shook his head and said, "No, Bells, I don't want to burden Charlie. He's already caught between a rock and a hard place with Dad as it is. I'll crash at Quil's."

"Jake-" I began to protest, but he put a finger against my lips and gave a tired smile. "Honey, I'm exhausted. I'll go to Quil's and pass out on his couch. I promise."

I rolled my eyes and dryly muttered, "You're stubborn."

He chuckled and said, "So are you, Bells."

I snorted and said, "I supposed I learn from the best."

He stood and offered his hand to me. After hauling me up, we began to walk in the direction of Jake's house. We were walking nearly blindly, so I stumbled often. Jake caught me multiple times and was laughing in amusement by the time we made it off of the sandy beach. I said, "This isn't funny."

"Awe, honey, it really is." He chuckled, "You fall over flat surfaces."

I retorted, "This rough terrain isn't a flat surface."

_"Rough terrain?"_ He laughed in delight, "You sound as if we're climbing a mountain while blindfolded."

His laugh pulled a reluctant smile from me. He nudged my shoulder with his hand, which almost caused me to trip again. I glared him as he cut off his next laugh with a snort, "Bells, I'm sorry. I was just trying to get your attention."

"Well, you have my attention."

I could just make out his facial features in the darkness surrounding us; he raised his eyebrows and said, "I was going to ask if you would come see me tomorrow."

I answered immediately, "Of course."

He smiled brightly and I couldn't help but be relieved that his mood had lightened after our time on the beach. He wrapped his arm around my back as we came around the side of my truck. He slipped his hands toward my lower waist and stepped forward while I leaned back until my backside was against the cold metal of the truck. He pecked my lips with his once before leaning away and whispering, "Drive carefully."

I nodded wordlessly before pushing on the tips of my toes and slowly catching his bottom lip in between mine. One of his hands came forward to rest on the side of my shoulder. When he shifted his angle to kiss me deeper, I let him. My focus tunneled until all I could feel or touch was him. At some point, Jake took his lips from mine. We were both breathing heavily as he hugged me to his chest.

"Goodnight, honey," He said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded and climbed inside the cab. The engine roared to life; I strapped on my seatbelt and cranked the window down to say, "Jake…"

His hands were in the hip-pockets of his jeans as he stepped closer to the truck door and said, "Yeah, Bells?"

I gave a small smile, "What do you want for your birthday?"

He offered a flashing grin, "Just you, Bells. I'm perfectly happy with what I have now."

The bits in my stomach that had finally defrosted were warmed even further. My chest, which had begun to fill up with so many emotions in the past several weeks, overflowed. I smiled softly and joked, "You're terribly cheesy, Jake."

His smile stayed in place as he shrugged, "You should be inside of my head. That place turned into a massive nacho fest since you came into my life. I might even start spouting poetry."

I was still chuckling under my breath when I parked the truck in my driveway. I walked in the house and found Charlie snoring peacefully on the couch with the TV blasting. I tossed a blanket over him before going to my bedroom. I fell asleep easily and didn't once have a nightmare.

**Author's Note: **_She's making considerable progress, is she not? Now, I want to know what you're all thinking about Jake. Nervous? Curious? Excited? I'd love to hear what your predictions are, but I won't give anything away if you guess correctly; don't worry about that. Thanks for reading!_


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: **_Thank you all. _**Monumental chapter** **here, people. **_Serious stuff. Go read!_

The next day I returned home and wasted an hour of time working complex mathematical equations for school. By the time I was finished, I was severely frustrated. I was stuffing my textbooks into my backpack when the house-phone shrilled loudly. I rushed to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Bella."

"Hey, Billy…" I felt anxious the moment I heard his gravelly voice. Flashes of his shadowed eyes entered my mind. _Monsters. You've met them. Cold Ones. Protectors._

He said, "I'm glad I caught you before you headed here. Jake's sick-"

I cut him off instantly, "I'll be there soon. I _knew_ he was coming down with a fever last night. Do I need to run to the pharmacy?"

"No, Bella," Billy sounded exhausted and oddly serious, "Our healers are taking care of it. He's contagious, so you can't see him."

Worry clutched my heart as I asked, "Is he okay?"

There was a pause before Billy said, "He's sick right now, Bella, I have to go."

"Billy, wait-" The line went dead and I was left listening to the dull sound of a dialing tone. I sighed heavily and set the phone on the base. I paced the length of the floorboards for several minutes before sinking on to a kitchen chair. I allowed myself five minutes of intense worrying before I began preparing dinner for Charlie. By the time he was home from work, I was mildly calm again. I ate across the table from Charlie and listened as he told me about his work day.

But I was thinking of Jake.

He had a fever. He was sick. That was normal. I could deal with normal. I debated on calling Billy before bed and finally gave in to the urge. Billy answered on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"Billy, how is he?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"Bella, you'll only wake him if you keep calling. He's very tired, so he's resting now."

I bit my lower lip and put the phone away before shuffling upstairs. Sleep came eventually, but it didn't stay. I woke periodically and by dawn, I was in a state of severe apprehension. I readied myself for the day and softly hugged Charlie before heading to school. Part of me was glad that it was Friday, but that also meant I had less than twenty-four hours to find Jake a birthday gift. He had given me no clues or ideas and I was terribly unoriginal when it came to selecting presents.

I shuffled through my classes without paying attention. I felt terrible that Jake would be ill for his birthday and I wasn't sure if he would be able to stomach eating a cake. But I would bake one anyway because I refused the idea that he wouldn't have a cake on his sixteen birthday. I knew, more than anything, he wanted his car to be in working order by tomorrow, but he needed parts for the engine that he didn't have the money for. _Could I get a part car for him? _ I doubted that a car part was an acceptable gift; I didn't know what part he needed either. And if I asked him, then the surprise would be ruined.

I drove to the market when classes were over and bought all the ingredients for Jake's cake. Aimlessly, I walked around the mall trying to find something that Jake would like to have. I spent thirty minutes gawking at a male sports store. Jake's boots were worn down, but I was sure he would have a heart attack if I paid such massive prices on a pair of running shoes. I was to the point of near panic when I spotted it from across the department store.

I walked through the throng of shoppers until I reached the opposite side of the store. I raised my wrist up and held it against the wall. A grin broke out across my face as I reached for the bracelet. It was thick in width and made of dark brown leather; on the top was a tiny painting. A quick glimpse at the tag attached to it told me that a local painter was the creator. The painting was done in miniature strokes of brilliant orange and yellow, spelling _felicitas_ in slender, elegant cursive. _Felicitas._ Happiness.

I looked up at the display sign and read: _Tom Smith's Happiness Collection_. I clutched the bracelet to my chest as I made my way to the cashier. As I drove home with the gift beside me, I decided that a bracelet wasn't enough. Not for Jake. I went straight to my bedroom at sat on my bed with a pen and paper. I stared at the blank paper for an hour before the pen ever touched the paper. Then I wrote.

_Dear Jacob,_

_You came into my life when I was at my worst, when I thought I wouldn't be able to survive. You came forward with your brilliance and your laughter. You are such a happy person that your happiness radiates to all the people around you. You have such a way about you that makes it impossible to stay miserable in your presence. This bracelet reminds me of you. Of your personality. Of your smile. Felicitas; it means happiness in Latin._

After carefully folding the letter, I slipped it in the gift bag with the bracelet and walked downstairs. After heating up leftovers for Charlie, I restlessly attempted my homework. After Charlie had finished eating, he asked, "Are you going to see Jacob tomorrow?"

I nodded slowly and said, "Yes, I'm going to wake up early to bake his birthday cake before heading to La Push."

"That's right. Sixteen, huh?"

I nodded and closed my textbook. He asked, "Is Billy still acting like an ass?"

I shrugged and admitted, "Billy called yesterday afternoon to tell me Jake was really sick and that it was best I didn't come over. I assume he's caring for Jacob."

Charlie frowned, "If he's that sick maybe you shouldn't go there, Bells."

I replied, "It's his birthday; I'm seeing him. I don't care if I catch a fever too."

Charlie didn't speak as I walked out of the kitchen and retired to my bedroom. I slept terribly and had numerous nightmares that left me gasping and sweating long before dawn. I lay in bed and blinked at the ceiling tiles for hours before finally rising. I took a shower and heading to the kitchen to begin Jake's cake.

By noon I was finished. I carted the container carrying the cake and the gift bag to my truck and drove to La Push. After pulling in the Blacks' drive, I teetered to the porch and knocked quietly on the door on the in case Jake was sleeping. I waited a moment before opening the door and stepping in. Billy was in the process of wheeling his chair from the hallway to the front of the house. He stopped and sighed heavily.

"Bella…" He saw the gift and cake in my hand. There was a sadness about him that made me feel uneasy. I juggled the items in my hands and asked, "Is he sleeping, Billy?"

Billy nodded silently. I frowned at his odd behavior before setting my armload on the kitchen table. I slowly said, "That's good. Is he getting any better?"

Billy didn't speak. My frown deepened as I repeated, "Billy?"

"He's stable." His voice was rough as if he had been crying. A closer inspection of his red-rimmed eyes put me on instant alert. I asked, "Can I see him?"

Billy shook his head slightly and said, "He's very contagious."

Irritation sparked through my chest and caused my voice to sound sharper than I intended as I demanded, "Well, what has he come down with? The flu?"

"No, he has a severe case of mono."

I was stunned for several seconds before I dumbly repeated, "Mono?"

He nodded wordlessly and watched me carefully. After a moment I swallowed the lump rising in my throat and whispered, "He doesn't have mono."

Words were floating around in my head as if they could piece together a puzzle. Billy's odd actions over the last two weeks flickered through my mind. We stared at one another as tension and grief continued to fill the air. Finally I asked, "What's really wrong with him, Billy?"

"I told you that-"

"If Jake has mono," I spoke shakily, "Then explain to me how he got the virus."

His eyes were sympathetic as he explained, "Bella, kissing is a common way that the virus is spread. Obviously, he must have-"

The intensifying anxiety I had been feeling since Billy's call the day before had nearly tripled. _This wasn't right. Why was he lying to me?_ I cut him off quickly, "You're lying."

"Bella, I think it's time for you to go on home."

"No." I spoke harshly, "I know you're lying."

"Isabella," Billy sternly replied, "That's enough."

"I know he doesn't have mono." I stepped forward and my hands fisted at my sides. My body was trembling with confusion and anger. _Why was he lying? Where was Jake? _ I sucked in a deep breath when Billy began to protest again.

"I need to see him."

"No, Bella, now go home before I call Charlie to pick you up."

"No." I fiercely stated, "I know he doesn't have mono. The only one he has been kissing is me, so tell the truth, Billy."

Billy's expression went lax and his eyes filled with surprise. He looked as if he wanted to protest again, but he knew I had caught him. I shook my head back and forth frantically before stepping around Billy wheelchair. He called out loudly, but I ignored him and briskly walked down the narrow hallway. I threw Jake's bedroom door open. And stared. It was empty.

I whirled around and tried to keep the panic out of my voice as I demanded, "Where is he Billy? What's going on?"

Billy didn't speak. He put his fingers to his temples and began to rub roughly. Impatience pushed at me until I demanded, "Where is he, Billy? What's happened to him?"

"Bella," He spoke slowly, "You need to go home. Jake can't see you anymore."

My breath froze in my lungs and my heart stopped for an endless instant. _Monsters. You've met them. Cold ones. Protectors. _ _They are the Protectors Of Our People. Jake will understand soon. Cold ones. Protectors from the monsters. Jake will understand…Jake can't see you anymore._

My body thawed and the air left my lungs in a great rush. My lips were numb as I moaned, "No, no…"

Grief and dismay poured into me filling up every part of my being as I demanded, "Did they get to him? You let them get to Jake?"

I had the overwhelming desire to punch Billy. The rage coursed through me so violently that my body shook with the power. I felt as if I was teetering on a ledge and I would throw myself off at any moment if I was angered any further. I felt irrational and frenzied and desperate to see Jake.

"Tell me where he is, Billy. I'm not moving until I see him. Call Charlie. Call anybody. As a matter of fact, call Sam Uley. I want him to come and make me leave."

Billy gazed at me with sorrow in his eyes. His voice was a broken whisper when he said, "You'll only cause Jake more pain by doing this, Bella."

My anger wavered until I shook my head and said, "Jake doesn't want to be a part of Sam's gang. And you might let them take your son, but I won't. Tell me where they are right now, Billy."

"No, Bella." His voice was quiet.

My lips trembled as I stated, "Then I'll wait for him right here."

I breathed deeply and walked to the front door. I threw it open and marched to my truck. I would sit there all night if I had to. I would not leave until I saw Jake. My fingers rubbed restlessly over the figurine wolf dangling delicately from my bracelet as I stomped to my truck. I was just about to set the tailgate down when I saw them. They were walking out of the forest. My lips quivered and I lost my breath.

All of them were wearing cut up shorts. No shirts. No shoes. Short, messy hair and fierce expressions. Jake was one of them.

"No…" I allowed the grief to consume me for a single moment as they crossed the road. Jake didn't look at me; he stared at his bare feet. My gaze feverishly took in his appearance. There was so much of his bronze skin showing and he had smudged of dirt all over him as if he had been rolling across the forest floor. His beautiful raven hair had been viciously chopped away; now it was barely touching the tops of his ears. On his right shoulder, I noticed a Tribal tattoo. A tattoo that looked the exact same compared to the three tattoos on the other men.

Before me stood a stranger. Before me stood the opposite of _my_ Jacob.

Sam Uley was walking a step ahead of the others. Directly behind him were Jared and Paul. Directly behind them were Jacob and Embry. All five of them came to an abrupt, synchronized halt a few feet from my truck. My breath was coming out in shallow gasps by the time Sam Uley spoke.

"Bella, I want to apologize for this. I know you don't understand, but Jake needs our help. He's a part of us. You need to go home and leave him be. It's for the best."

Paul Lahote cackled rudely as soon as Sam finished speaking. Fury came rushing back into my veins as I surged forward and shoved on Sam's chest. I heard Jake inhale loudly as Sam gripped my wrists. I cried, "You did this to him!"

"Bella, stop it." I heard Jake's husky voice anxiously say, "Step back from him."

Sam Uley slowly released my wrists and I stumbled backward. I turned my attention to Jake and demanded, "Let's go, Jake."

He was looking to the left, so I could only see a side view of his face. I became slightly hysterical. "Jake, what in the hell are you doing with them?"

He didn't respond. I took a step closer and then Sam's body was suddenly blocking my sight. I spoke from between clenched teeth, "Get out of my way, Sam."

"Bella," He spoke in an irritatingly calm voice, "Please, go home."

"No!" I shouted, "Get the hell out of my way!"

"Good God," Paul snorted and elbowed Jared, "Jake ended up with one of the crazies. I guess we should expect that from a Leech-Lover, though."

The term was so odd that I frowned, but the sudden piercing sound of an animalistic snarl caused my blood to run cold. I barely caught the look of panic cross Sam's face before he whirled away from me. I watched with my hands shaking in confusion and worry and anger as Sam smacked his broad palm against Paul Lahote's naked chest while Paul bared his teeth in Jake's direction like a dangerous animal. The sound that left his mouth was unmistakably the growling bark of a predator. I took a lunging step forward and latched my fingers around Jake's upper bicep. He was trembling and his skin was still fevered. I tugged with the majority of my strength, but he didn't move. I tugged even harder and quickly said, "We have to leave now, Jake."

I gasped when Jake bared his own teeth and let out a deep rumble that vibrated both of our bodies. It sounded like a threatening warning given by a rapid dog. My eyes frantically took in Jared's struggling hold on Paul's arms. Sam was speaking in swift demands as he kept one hand on Paul's chest and one on Jake's. Embry was hovering threateningly on the opposite side of Jake as if he would attack at any moment. My grip on Jake's arm tightened and I sobbed, "Jake…please."

He shook my hand off of his arm with an effortless shrug before putting his palm against my chest. I felt his touch like a live wire. He nudged me until I took a step backward. Then he huffed, "Get Lahote away from her, Sam."

Jared and Sam latched arms underneath Paul's quivering, cursing, violent form and swiftly yanked him into the forest. I wondered if they would murder him, but then decided I didn't care. Now was my chance to free Jake. I gripped Jake and pleaded, "Get in the truck. I'll get you away from them. _Really _far from them."

He sighed and I heard his breath hitch as he began to face me, but Embry latched onto Jake's upper shoulders and said, "Don't do it, man. You'll make it worse if you go with her."

"Don't tell him what to do, Embry." I lashed out, "You were supposed to be his friend and you let him get sucked into this…this brainwashed gang."

Jake shoved Embry away swiftly and strongly. I watched in surprise as Embry stumbled, but then my view of him was blocked by Jake's bare chest. He pulled me against him and murmured hurriedly, "You have to leave La Push, Bells. I'm so sorry, honey. You can't possibly know how sorry I am. You aren't safe around me anymore."

"No." The tears began to flow as I said, "They've brainwashed you. I have to get you to Charlie. Just get in the truck, Jake."

His body trembled with a strange spasm and he cursed colorfully. His grip tightened for an instant and he choked out, "Bells, my Bells…"

"Jake," I pushed on his chest until he released me. Then I fumbled until I gripped his hands in mine. He was looking at Embry, who was now hovering near us in an indecisive way. I said, "If you don't want me around you anymore, then fine. But don't let them do this to you. Don't let them change you into something you aren't."

When he kept staring at Embry as if I didn't exist, I gripped his hands tighter and fiercely said, "This isn't _my_ Jacob. Do you hear me? What happened in the last forty-eight hours that caused my Jacob to be taken from me?"

I could see him swallow heavily, but he still wouldn't face me. The tears were burning my eyes as I whispered, "I love you."

I heard him moan lowly like he had been fatally wounded. He physically flinched and his body began to tremble again. I heard his breathing become harsh. My voice shook as I repeated, "I love you, Jake."

"Please…" I murmured, "Please, just let me help you. Let me get you away from them."

Jake's head turned slowly and I could see the tear-tracks coating his face. His mocha eyes were shining with more unshed tears. He parted his lips, but then jerked when his gaze fully met mine. His eyes widened and he exhaled suddenly. His voice was filled to the brim with the love and passion that I had seen lurking in his gaze for months as he murmured, "Bella…my Bella…"

He lunged forward like a snake and scooped me up before cradling me against his body. I wrapped my arms around his neck and shook with relief. I hiccupped, "Yes, your Bella."

He held me tightly and slowly began a rocking motion. His breath was coming out in shallow gasps and he sounded tortured as he rapidly said, "I'm sorry, Bella, so sorry. I'll explain it all to you. I promise, honey, I swear. I never wanted to stay away from you, Bells; you know I would never willing stay away from you."

He crushed me against him again and kissed the top of my head. I replied urgently, "Jake, you can explain on the way. We have to get out of here before Sam and the other two come back. Hurry, let's go."

He shook his head as he set my feet to the ground. He put his arms around my waist and looked deeply at me. I searched his face and said, "Jake, I'm so confused."

"I know," He murmured, "As soon as Sam is done dealing with Paul, I'll explain everything and it'll all make sense, honey. I promise."

I frowned as Sam stalked across the road without Jared or Paul following. I watched as he put a hand on Embry's shoulder. Although no words were spoken, Embry nodded as if Sam had given an order and took off jogging down the road. Once he was out of view, Sam turned to Jake and me. He observed me closely before flicking his somber eyes to Jake.

"Tell her and then bring her to Emily's."

Then Sam Uley walked away as if nothing monumental had transpired. My mind was spinning with the questions smashing against my skull. I mumbled, "Tell me what?"

**Author's Note:** _I'm so excited to hear what you have to tell me about this chapter. Seriously, all of yall review and let me know what you think about it!:) and what you think is going on next:) or complain about something you might have disliked:) Please?_


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** _Thanks for reviewing and reading! I've put up a poll on my profile that I'd like you all to go vote on. I think many will find it interesting._

We walked toward the beach by each other's side without a sound. I knew he was trying to organize his thoughts before he began explaining himself; just as he knew I was already forming questions of my own. My hands were stuffed deeply in the pockets of my jacket, but Jake's were at his side. Every few seconds his hand would twitch and move slightly toward me as if it was subconsciously trying to find me. The wind was whipping and my cheeks were flushed and frozen, but I kept walking. My mind was overflowing with unprocessed information and a sharp ache was beating a rhythm behind my eyes. I felt weepy, although I made sure not to cry.

The few tears I had shed while speaking to Jake was more than enough. Logically, I knew that getting overemotional wouldn't do any good, but I had a difficult time convincing my heart of the same thing. I plopped in the sand several yards from the lapping waves. Jake perched on the thick tree branch and thoughtfully said, "You might as well consider this tree ours, Bells. We've had some important moments here…and I guess this will be another important moment."

I didn't like the physical distance between us- it was almost like a bad omen- so I scooted to the right until my body was right next to Jake's legs. I looked up from my curled position and asked, "Why are you sitting on the log instead of next to me?"

He gave a dull, sad smile and said, "It's dangerous for me to be close to you when my temper is rising, honey."

We elapsed back into silence and I rubbed the small charm on my bracelet to calm my nerves. The tension in my body had me drawn as tight as the string on a bow by the time Jake began, "We were wrong about Sam running a gang. Nothing is what I thought it was, Bella. Do you remember the Quileute legends I told you about when you first moved to Forks last year? You came to La Push with friends from your high school to whale watch and we ran into each other."

I nodded and whispered, "Yes, I remember."

The thought came forward in a murky sense and I could hear a much more youthful Jake speaking to me as we walked along this very beach. Two strangers. A lifetime ago. _Well, supposedly we are descendants of wolves. Those wolves…Protectors…they kill the Cold Ones. The monsters. The Cold Ones._

"The Cold Ones…" I mumbled. I pursed my lips together as I stared at the ocean. Jake quietly said, "Yeah, the Cold Ones. They're real."

There was a pause and he added, "But you knew that already, Bella."

Instead of lying to him I whispered, "Now you sound like Billy."

"Yeah," He bitterly answered, "I know why you looked so terrified the other night. Dad told me about the conversation you two had."

I didn't answer.

Jake said, "The Protectors are real too, Bella. I'm a Protector."

_They are Protectors Of Our People, Bella. Not a gang. They are Protectors. Vampires. Monsters. Protectors. Not a gang. Protectors. Cold Ones. Monsters._ I took a deep breath, let it out and asked, "Exactly what is a Protector?"

There was a beat of silence where all I could hear was the sound of my own pounding heart and the rhythmic lapping of the waves. Then he whispered, "I'm a wolf."

I blinked rapidly as dark spots dotted my vision. I kept trying to swallow, but couldn't. Finally, Jake jumped off of the log, patted me on the back and cursed heavily. He demanded, "Breathe, Bella."

I gulped like a fish out of water and breathlessly said, "What? How?"

Jake collapsed on the sand beside me as if his legs couldn't hold him any longer. He muttered angrily, "It is in certain bloodlines. If you have the right gene in your DNA, then you can transform."

"Transform?" I repeated quietly.

"Yes," He spoke in the same hard voice, "The transformation starts with rapid growth spurts because the body needs to be able to withstand the brutal torture of the final stages of transformation. Eventually the fever sets in and that's when you know you're close."

"The fever…" I whispered as I let my head drop to my knees. I breathed deeply and asked, "You transform into a wolf?"

"Technically, we call it _phasing."_

I squeaked. He murmured, "Are you going to faint, Bella?"

"Shut up." I muttered and took another measured breath. Then I realized precisely what he had said. My head snapped up quickly enough to give me a case of whip-lash. I repeated, "Brutal torture? You went through some kind of _brutal torture?"_

"Yeah," He murmured, "The first time is the worst. Your entire body ruptures. Your skin, your muscles and bones break and reform."

My hands flew to my mouth and I drew my knees against my chest. Jake glanced my way and watched my reaction intently. I breathed through my nose as deeply as possible and then exhaled. "Okay."

"Okay?" He echoed questioningly.

I nodded and repeated, "Okay."

"You're fine with me like this, Bella?" He asked strongly, "even though I phase into a giant wolf?"

I nodded and reached across the short space between us to wrap my fingers around his. His gaze was as potent as the sound of his voice, but I could easily see the vulnerability inside of him. I squeezed his hand wordlessly and fully wrapped my arms around his bicep. While I looked out at the ocean, he looked at me. It took a moment before I slowly asked, "So…you're a werewolf?"

His chuckle warmed my heart and eased my nerves as he mused, "I supposed you could call it that, although, the term _shape-shifter_ is more fitting."

"When did the transformation happen?"

"After you left the other night…" He reflected quietly, "Quil wasn't home and I didn't want to go back to my own house, so I was pretty pissed off. Sam and Paul met me on the road halfway toward my house. Sam ordered Paul to provoke me…and it worked."

"Are you serious?" I demanded huffily, "Why did they do that?"

"Calm down, honey," Jake patted my leg and explained, "It was better for me to phase in front of them instead of Dad. Now that I know how badly the situation could have turned had I phased near you or dad or Quil, I'm not mad about Sam and Paul pushing me into the transformation."

"How could it have gone badly?" I asked and then added, "Other than scaring the hell out of whomever you transformed near."

Jake's demeanor turned bitter once again. He replied, "When a wolf gets too angry, they could lose their control and phase. The wolf inside of us is dangerous if we're provoked. Sam hurt his fiancée once…when he was angry. She's disfigured for life."

I muttered, "Jerk. He's a jerk."

"No, Bells," Jake spoke softly, "We were wrong about Sam. He's a good man. I wish you could see him the way I do now."

My jaw dropped before I demanded, "Hello? Is my Jake in there somewhere? Do you _not_ remember the confrontation from an hour ago?"

"You don't understand Sam because you can't read his thoughts like I do."

My jaw dropped and I squeaked, _"What?"_

He sighed and explained, "When we are in wolf form, we can all read one another's thoughts. It helps when we are hunting. Anyway, that's how I know Sam isn't a bad guy."

When I blankly stared at him, he sighed again, "Lahote is the one worth disliking, Bells. He's a hot-headed prick."

"I dislike him about as much as I dislike Sam."

Jake's lips quirked a bit as he asked, "Are you honestly okay with me like this?"

"Of course, I am." I bumped his shoulder until he met my eyes. Then I said, "I care about you and you changing into a werewolf doesn't change that at all."

Jake murmured, "I really want to hear you say it again."

"It?" I questioned quietly. He nodded slightly and then I understood.

"I love you, Jake."

His eyes fell shut and he whispered, "Repeat it. One more time."

A smile touched my lips before I said, "I love you."

He hummed and opened his eyes. I was stunned by how brilliantly they were set alight as he grinned and said, "I love you too, Bells."

Jake and I took our time walking on a narrow, twisty road that led further into La Push than I had ever been. At first, I had seen multiple cabins and houses, but they had dwindled down to nothing a quarter mile back. Jake's hand was hot against mine and I found it endearing that his long, powerful stride had shortened to match my own.

"Jake, why did you cut your hair?"

He mournfully mumbled, "My human body reflects how my wolf form appears. It isn't convenient to have it so long when I'm running through the forest."

He looked so upset over his new hairdo that I kept my own grief silent. Instead I focused on my next question. "Why do you all have that tattoo?"

I eyed Jake's bare shoulder uncertainly.

"The elders are pretty traditional and this is the same tattoo our ancestor Protectors had. It's a way for the people in the inner loop to recognize us for what we are."

"Jake…I don't understand one thing."

He raised an eyebrow silently as we approached the end of the road. I slowed my pace as I took in the charming cottage in front of my view. It was very secluded and set in a clearing surrounded by massive trees. Jake asked, "What don't you understand?"

I hesitated. _Could I speak about the subject without panicking? Could I stay calm?_ I decided not speaking my mind with Jake at this point was impractical; we had shared so much already. He had come to a stand-still several yards from the cottage's front porch as I mentally battled with myself.

"If you're a Protector from…" I stopped, braced myself and continued on, "…_vampires_, then how do you do it?"

Jake's eyes searched my face intently before he frowned. Sensing his confusion, I elaborated, "They are stronger than anything I've ever seen. They run so fast that they're just blurs of color. They're senses are extraordinary. I mean…you could get hurt so easily by one."

I thought I heard loud laughter coming from inside the cottage, but I ignored the distraction when Jake replied slowly, "We have weapons of our own, Bells."

Now it was my turn to be confused. I dumbly said, "Oh."

He tugged on my hand gently and began to walk forward with me reluctantly following toward the cottage. As we got closer, I could hear rowdy voices and the booming laughter of male voices. Jake explained, "We run fast too and our senses are more acute than a normal human. And we're stronger than vampires."

I stumbled, but he easily caught me. Before he could speak, I exclaimed, "Stronger? Did you say stronger?"

He nodded curtly. For some reason, he looked angry again. Not irritated, but angry. I didn't think I would ever get used to seeing such an expression on his face. I sputtered, "_Stronger?_ No way."

"I could demonstrate if you think I'm lying," He retorted sarcastically.

I was taken back as I mumbled, "No, I believe you. It's just that…"

He huffed and hugged me closely, "I'm sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to snap at you. I get that it's difficult to take this all in so quickly."

Suddenly a booming voice stated, "Stop hugging your girl and get in here, Jacob! You won't get any grub unless you hurry it up!"

I was so startled that my body jerked, but Jake caught my arm to steady me. He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes before throwing the front door open without knocking. He greeted the room with, "Shut up, Jared."

The cottage seemed much smaller from the inside, although that could have been because of the five massive men sprawled in various spots. I observed the way Jared and Paul sat at the kitchen table inhaling mountains of food that should have been impossible for a human to consume so quickly; I was afraid they would choke. A couple feet from them, lounging on a daybed, was Embry. He smiled shyly when he saw me glancing at him. I looked away hurriedly and blushed.

A woman was standing by the stove. She was wearing a flow-y skirt that dropped to her ankles, but the loose skirt did nothing to hide her beautiful curves. She was one of those women who were envied by other women for whole life; her hair was flowing locks in perfect curls, her skin was wonderfully tanned and when she laughed at the boys' childish behavior, it sounded like wind-chimes. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable. Jake didn't leave my side, thankfully, because my discomfort would have increased dramatically otherwise.

The woman turned and I was stunned for a single moment. She was smiling and the smile would have been absolutely beautiful had the left side of her face not been marred by four thick, pink scars running from her temple to her chin. I returned her smile after a brief falter on my part. She greeted cheerfully, "You must be Bella."

I nodded as she said, "I'm Emily."

_Sam hurt his fiancée. She's disfigured for life._ I gave a halfhearted smile again and mumbled, "Hi."

She laughed in delight and asked, "Would you like lunch? There's plenty. I'll even boot Paul and Jared out of the kitchen, so you and Jake can sit down."

"N-No," I stuttered, but she had already walked to the table. She smacked Paul on the back of the head and simply said, "Get up, you pig."

I expected Paul Lahote to growl like he had earlier today or curse at her, but all he did was smirk and stand. He bowed sarcastically and said, "Anything for Miss Leech-Lover."

Jake let out a rumble that made me take a step closer to him. I gripped his hand tightly and mumbled, "Don't, Jake."

Emily sighed hotly and said, "Paul Lahote, there will be no name calling in my house, do I make myself clear?"

Paul nodded, sent a sneer my and Jake's way, and then flounced from the room. Jared grabbed another biscuit from one of the platters across the table before apologizing, "Sorry, Bella. Jake. Paul will eventually get over himself."

Then he followed Paul out of the kitchen. Embry stood up then and asked, "Do you need help washing the dishes, Emily?"

Emily smiled and said, "Thank you, Embry."

They set to work quickly. I stood, completely unsure of myself, until Jake tugged me toward the table. He plopped down, but I didn't sit across the table from him. I was in a strange house with werewolves and a woman I didn't know. Jake raised an eyebrow as he stuffed half of a biscuit in his mouth. He chewed, swallowed and asked, "Bells?"

I bit my lip and then, as if I had told him precisely what was wrong with me, he patted his left knee. I perched there and hesitantly took the other half of his biscuit when he offered it silently. I nibbled on the bread while he shoveled multiple globs of mashed potatoes in his mouth. I gawked.

After a few minutes of nonstop eating, Jake chuckled and explained, "My metabolism runs way higher than the average human. To compensate that, I have to eat double what I used to."

I asked slowly, "Why does your metabolism run so high?"

"We have to have the stamina to keep up with a leech, Bells."

"Leech?" I repeated and then frowned. _Leech-Lover. Leech-Lover._ The name spun around and around in my mind until I comprehended. I mumbled, "Leech-Lover. Oh. I guess…that makes sense."

Jake muttered, "I've already kicked his ass once for calling you that."

I shrugged my shoulders and mumbled, "You shouldn't fight, Jake. Not over that."

"I think," He muttered as he bit into a piece of chicken, "That it's the perfect reason to fight him."

We relapsed into silence. I tried to sit still without shifting my weight continuously while on Jake's knee, but it was challenging to appear at ease. After what felt like hours, Jake patted my leg and announced, "I'm done. Let's me walk you to your truck, honey."

"What?" I asked as I stood up. Jake walked out of the house and I trotted after him. "Why do I have to leave?"

"I have to Patrol soon; it's my shift."

"What are you patrolling for?"

Jake sighed and tightly replied, "There's a bloodsucker running around the border of Forks; we're hunting it."

I let out a noise of stress. Jake cursed and gathered me closely. "Bells, honey, it is fine. We're taking care of it."

"I'm not worried about me." I protested as we came closer to his house, "I'm worried about _you."_

His expression softened as we came to the side of my truck. I looked up at him with concern. "Jake…I don't want you fighting a…a…a vampire." Tears welled in my eyes as I whispered, "You'll get hurt."

He stepped nearer and cupped my cheeks in his palms while making sure we maintained eye contact. He whispered, "Sweetheart, I'll be just fine. It's what I'm made to do. Besides, there are five of us and only one leech."

He kissed the tip of my nose and then pulled back. "Honestly, Bells, the way you keep talking makes wolves sound weak in comparison to a bloodsucker. It's kinda insulting, don't you think, honey?"

"That isn't what I meant," I mumbled as I wiped my eyes dry, "How much time do you have until your…patrol?"

"About an hour."

I clasped my hands around his thick wrists as he rubbed his thumbs across my cheeks. I said, "Then let's go inside, so you can open your gift."

"Gift?" His brows pulled together in a frown and then realization dawned. He smiled softly and whispered, "You didn't have to get me a birthday present, Bells…"

"Yes, I did," I gestured to his little, red house and attempted to joke, "I even baked you a cake, so you should feel really special."

"You know I do."

My stomach fluttered with butterflies at those simple words as I pushed the door open. Billy was nowhere to be seen as we entered. I tugged him straight to the kitchen table and then backed up to allow his large form space in the tiny room. I waited in suspense as he plucked the taped letter off of the front of the gift bag. He opened it and his eyes scanned the page as his lips moved while he mouthed to words I had so carefully written.

When he was done, his hand slowly lowered the letter to the tabletop. Then, with shaking hands, he reached into the bag and discovered the bracelet. I watched his face fill with emotion. I felt what he felt in that moment- the love, the wonder and amazement at knowing how real this truly was. It was beautiful and overwhelming. It was profound and unexplainable. It was us. Our love, our connection. Jake and Bells.

He set it down gently and then turned, abruptly pulling me into his arms and hugging me. "I love you, Bella. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered, "I love you too, Jake."

**_Thanks for reading! Now go vote on my poll like the amazing people I know you are:)_**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** _I now realize you have to have an account to vote on my "poll"; lots of my viewers don't have an account…so I'll ask my question and you please give me whatever response you wish:) **Will you be willing to read a **_**_M-rated_**_** story with Quil Jr, Claire Young, Seth Clearwater and a few OCs I have created? **Definitely __**darker**__ than this story._

Jake and I returned to normal after that, though normal wasn't the proper word to describe us to being with. Spring break was right around the corner, but I wasn't particularly excited about it. After Jake's birthday, he patrolled. I quickly figured out that the wolves split sections of time twenty-four hours a day to patrol the boarders of La Push. It was a grueling toll for the five boys, but they had no choice in the matter. My time with Jake was limited; he spent the majority of his day patrolling, training with Sam to learn the ropes of his new-found state, or sleeping to make up for the lack of. I struggled through my schooling because I was constantly worrying for him. Two days after his birthday, he told me he had requested to add my house to the patrol routes.

I was surprised to know that Sam had done exactly as Jake asked. Grudgingly, I mentally told myself to ease up on hating Sam Uley. He was helping Jake in any way that he could, plus he was being unexpectedly considerate of Jake's relationship with me. He wasn't rude and mocking toward me like Paul, or aloof like Jared. When Jake brought me to Emily's house, Sam greeted me and constantly made sure Paul stayed under control. It took several more days before I fully came to terms with the fact that Jacob wasn't entirely human any longer.

I noticed the foreign anger that rose sharply in him at periodical moments. It was those times that my Jacob wasn't dominant; the wolf was. It was almost as if he had an animalistic instinct when incited. I also noticed the arrogance and rough exterior he displayed when around the other werewolves. He showed no weakness, no softness, no sunshine when around the others. At one point, he explained to me that they considered themselves brothers of sorts; a pack of wolf-brothers. I grasped the concept, but didn't comprehend until I further paid attention to the way they moved and acted.

Half of the time, they reminded me of youthful puppies that were continuously brawling. They all had such energy about them; they could hardly sit still when they weren't patrolling. I assumed their pint up energy had to do with their excessive metabolism rate. Along with those new discoveries, I learned that they truly were as strong, if not stronger, than vampires. On an abnormally sunny day a week after Jake's birthday, I was sitting on Jake's front steps as he tuned-up my truck. His natural patience was thinning quicker than before and I heard him huffing stormily a few minutes after he began his task.

I stood up and began walking his way with the intent to ease his frustration; I found it a natural predisposition to calm him whenever he became irritated. Just as I was approaching him, he cursed heavily.

I blamed _that_ new habit on Paul, Sam and Jared.

And even though I didn't like to hear him sounding so bitter with foul words coming from such a wholesome person, I decided it wasn't worth adding stress to him just to ask him to halt a new habit. There were such bigger problems to worry over. Jake cursed again and there was a grinding noise much like metal pushing against metal. Alarmed, I stumbled forward and tried to peer underneath the truck where he was sprawled.

"Jake?" I questioned, "Are you okay?"

"No, damnit." Jake huffed. I heard another _clank_ noise followed by another curse. He exclaimed, "Mother fu-"

"Jake," I squeaked hastily, "What's wrong?"

He shimmed out from underneath the truck holding a twisted piece of metal dripping with black oil. My eyes widened. He muttered, "I'll fix it, Bella."

"How did that happen?" I asked in confusion.

He snorted and spoke in clipped tones, "Got pissed off. Accidentally ripped it off."

I let out a noise of disbelief while staring at him in stupid astonishment. I recovered quickly before saying, "Uh, why don't you take a break? I'll fix you some lunch. Let's go inside."

My nightmares came back with vengeance. I could only assume by knowing that a rouge vampire was in Forks and attempting to kill Jake and his friends caused the dreams to worsen to the point that I woke screaming again. I dreamed of blood and brutal ways that Jake was killed. Over and over. Charlie wasn't sleeping anymore either because of the screams. Often I dreamed of the Cullens with red eyes and living an existence just as evil as Victoria. I tried to rationalize and tell myself that it was simply a dream, but the dreams felt real. As real as my actual life.

The knowledge that supernatural monsters existed crushed any type of rational thoughts I tried convincing myself of. I wondered if it was possible that every fairytale was true. Maybe there was no such thing as the human world; maybe supernatural creatures were everywhere and the humans were the idiotic race that didn't see what was right in front of them. In actuality, I found it ironic that the human race thought they were the dominant species. Because they weren't. Vampires were. And werewolves were. As far as Jake and his people knew, there were no other werewolf packs known. But I was willing to bet that somewhere on earth there were more werewolves like Jake.

It was the first morning of spring break that I woke screaming piercingly. I bolted upright in bed while panting. I ran my hands through my hair as my chest heaved with the effort to breathe. My eyes were heavy and my vision was blurry, but I could hear the sound of tapping at my window. What little air I had managed to suck into my lungs left me again. My first thought was that Victoria had come for me. She was here and I would finally die. But then my vision cleared somewhat and I could just make out the massive shape of a man clinging to my window seal. I heard a muted curse and then louder tapping.

"I know you're awake now, Bells. Open the damn window."

I jumped up, but my feet got tangled in the sweaty sheets of my bed. I fell. I heard Jake cursed again and say, "Oh, Jeez, Bella. Are you okay?"

I stumbled up and slid the window open. My eyes widened when I saw Jake in the gray light of early morning while clinging to the side of my house over ten feet in the air. I whispered frantically, "Get inside, _get inside now._ You're going to fall."

I stepped back hurriedly and watched as he hoisted his body up and over the window ledge with only one hand. His feet met the floorboards with a soft thud. I gawked at him until he said, "Close your mouth, Bells, or you'll catch flies."

"What were you thinking?" I demanded quietly, "You could have fallen and broken your neck. Or your leg. Or your arm. Or your back."

Jake grinned boyishly and proudly stated, "We heal at an extreme rate."

_"What?"_

"It's part of the package deal." He explained as he came forward to kiss the top of my head in greeting. "I guess it's to balance out the fact that vampires don't die unless you burn them to pieces. We're made to kill them; we have to have certain defenses at our disposal."

"Hm." I leaned against his chest and dryly asked, "You didn't think to mention the fact that you have freaky, supernatural healing powers?"

Jake chuckled, "It never came up in conversation, honey."

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "I need to take a shower. I'm covered in sweat."

As I pulled away from him and went to my dresser for fresh clothes, Jake whispered, "You were screaming in your sleep again. I could hear you from outside."

I paused before saying, "I know. It was a nightmare."

Before I walked out of the bedroom I said, "Don't lay on my bed. It's sweaty too. Um, I'll change the sheets once I'm done showering."

By the time I came back, however, Jake was sprawled across my bed with the soiled sheets and blankets piled on the floor. I took them to the wash before going downstairs. I made coffee for Charlie and had a warm mug to hand him when he came shuffling downstairs. He was sleepy-eyed and I knew it was because he had likely lied awake while listening to my terror. I felt so guilty, but knew there was nothing that I could do to change the situation. I watched as Charlie shuffled to the living room, slumped on the couch and slurped his coffee.

I was nervous with Jake sleeping in my bedroom when Charlie was home. _What would I do if he happened to hear Jake snoring?_ I sat beside Charlie and attempted to complete assignments I had fell behind in for school while he watched baseball games on TV. We didn't speak, but that was okay. Charlie and I were naturally awkward when it came to conversation. When I decided Jake would likely be waking soon for patrol, I closed my textbook and set it upon the nearby table. Charlie cleared his throat and asked, "How is Jake doing, Bells? I haven't seen him around in a while."

"Uh, he's fine." I carefully told my father a half-truth, "He's just really tired and busy with his new job. I'm sure he'll come around sometime today. Maybe tonight for dinner."

Charlie nodded and sighed wistfully, "I want to give Billy some money to help him and Jake out, but Billy is a stubborn, old goat. He wouldn't accept any money. Jake really shouldn't be working so hard at such a young age; he's a kid."

I bit my lip and said, "I think Billy might be lonely, Dad. With Jake working all the time, Billy is by himself in the house. I know he spends a lot of time with Harry, but I'm sure he's missing you."

Charlie looked guilt-ridden and conflicted. He sighed so I suggested, "Why don't you head over there today? You and he worked out your problems nearly two weeks ago; forget about it."

When Charlie was successfully out of the house, I warmed last night's leftover dinner and poured a tall glass of milk for Jake before heading up the stairs. I eased in my bedroom and quietly set the food and drink on the top of my desk. I edged closer to the bed and observed Jake.

He looked exhausted. And dirty.

I frowned when I saw the dried mud in various streaks across his body. He was shirtless and barefoot- which was the most convenient wardrobe for shape-shifters with abnormally high temperatures- so I could see the majority of the places where dirt caked his skin. I knew that if Jake hadn't been absolutely drained, then he wouldn't have slept in my bed while being so unclean. That was just another reminder of how hunting and chasing the rouge vampire was beginning to become too much for him and the others.

But I didn't voice my thoughts on the subject because I knew that he couldn't stop; my worries would only add to his burden. It was his duty as a Protector to keep his land safe and Jake was too good of a man to not give one hundred percent of his time, attention, and strength to defending and serving for others. I felt useless every time that he left to hunt the vampire. I felt useless every time that I saw his light and joy slip away a little more. _How could I save him from things that were out of my control?_

I couldn't resist softly touching his silky, but short hair. His snoring faltered and I stepped back quickly in hopes that he would sleep more. He mumbled unintelligible words for several moments before his eyes cracked open. He mumbled, "Do I smell food, honey?"

I nodded and said, "Let me grab it for you."

He was sitting up and leaning heavily against the headboard of the bed by the time I returned from across the room with his tray of food. I set it on his lap and carefully handed over the glass of milk. He began inhaling food swiftly and then chugged then entire drink. When he was finished I asked, "Are you still hungry?"

He shook his head and asked, "How long was I out?"

I checked my bed-side clock and answered, "Four hours. You could sleep longer, Jake. I know that you need it."

"No," He answered good-naturedly, "I'd rather spend time with you."

I insisted, "Another hour of rest won't hurt, Jake."

He set the tray on the foot of the bed and scooted closer to me. He put his hands around my waist and tugged softly. He had a mischievous smirk on his face that I hadn't seen at all since his transformation. It was one of his purely free-spirited smiles that he had always used before. Because I couldn't resist that smile and because I was so relieved to see a piece of my Jacob shine through the toughened exterior, I allowed him to pull me down to the mattress. He whispered, "I'll sleep if you stay right here with me. We can talk until I fall asleep. Is that a deal?"

I smiled softly and murmured, "It's a deal."

"Great." He said, "Now tell me something funny. I could use a laugh."

"I had a dream about punching Paul in the face. In the dream, it actually hurt him and he was scared of me for life after that."

He did laugh and then said, "You did _not_ dream that."

"Okay, I didn't." I admitted, "But it would be a great dream."

Jake chuckled and asked, "What have you been doing while I slept?"

"I worked on a terrible calculus assignment."

"Hmm…" He hummed under his breath as he began to play softly with my hair. I asked him quietly, "How was your patrol?"

"I bet you'll never guess what happened."

"Tell me," I insisted quietly as I glanced at his face. He murmured, "Don't freak out, but we killed a leech."

I inhaled and tensed. "The rouge vampire?"

Jake's eyes opened lazily and he shook his head as he gazed at me. He replied, "No, Bells. It was a random scent we caught passing through. He was nearly out of Forks by the time Jared and I caught him."

_"You_ caught a vampire?"

"Don't sound so surprised, Bells." He sounded amused, "I didn't even get hurt. Actually, it was satisfying. Ridding the world of a disgusting creature like that is awesome. Makes the hunt worth it in the end."

I frowned and worriedly asked, "But, Jake, isn't it strange that two vampires were in Forks?"

Jake shrugged a shoulder and muttered, "Forks seems to draw their kind in if you ask me."

"Jake…" I spoke slowly, "What did the vampire look like…?"

"Which one? The one we killed?"

I whispered, "Yes."

He sighed hotly and sat up very suddenly. He eyed me and asked, "Why does it matter? Are you afraid we killed one of the precious Cullens that miraculously came floating into town?"

My own anger surged forward and buried the hurt I felt. "No, I just need to know. What did the vampire look like?"

The fire left his eyes as quickly as it appeared; it was replaced with regret immediately. He whispered, "Shit, Bells, I'm sorry. I got…jealous. I'm sorry."

I mumbled, "It's okay."

"No," He sighed, "It isn't. I can't believe I even said it, honey."

He pulled me on to his lap while slipping his arms around me and described, "The leech was dark skinned with long dreadlocks. We killed him pretty quickly; he isn't as fast as the other bloodsucker."

My heart plummeted as I breathlessly asked, "What does the other one look like?"

"She's fast and tiny. Got crazy, red hair. Why, Bells?"

When I didn't respond, Jake shook me slightly and repeated, "Bells? Honey?"

I didn't realize I was hyperventilating until Jake spoke in more urgent tones, but his voice sounded far away and distorted as if I was under water while hearing him speak. All of my ruthless nightmares came surging forward and every haunted thought about how I, Charlie, or Jake would die sliced through my brain. As the sobs began, Jake demanded, "Bella, tell me what is wrong right now."

"Where does she try to go?"

"Bells, what are you-"

I cut him off by crying, "_Where _does she try to go, Jake?"

"We don't know," He answered hastily, "She seems to be trying to get to deeper in to Forks, but we cut her off and lead her to the ocean or the mountains every time."

"Me." I choked as I yanked on my hair with my hands and began to rock back and forth in Jake's arms. He asked, "What, Bella? Honey, why are you in a panic?"

"She wants _me,_" I sobbed, "She wants me; that's why she hasn't left even though you are all hunting her. She wants to kill me."

Jacob snarled deeply in his chest and the eerie, frightening sound echoed across the bedroom.

**Author's Note:** _I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading. As I said before, let me know about that other story. This one still has a fair way to go until the end, but afterward, I don't think I'll post any more stories if I'm not sure somebody will read the darker stories I have written with twilight characters.  
_


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** _Thank you all for your reviews! Hope you enjoy the chapter. Feel free to review._

We were riding to La Push with Jake driving at the fastest speed he could manage in my ancient truck. His hands were trembling and had been trembling since my confession. As soon as he calmed me down, he had demanded that we needed to see Sam. He was so obviously distraught and distracted as he led me to the truck; it didn't go unnoticed how closely he hovered as soon as we stepped outside. During the ride, we didn't speak. He was concentration on keeping himself in control so hard that I didn't want to risk him losing his emotions and phasing.

As soon as he tore into Emily's driveway, he cut the engine. He opened my door and palmed my hips before plucking me out of the seat. He held me against his chest as if I was a precious infant; I was too bewildered and overwhelmed to protest. As soon as Jake reached the porch, Sam came barreling outside followed by the rest of the boys. Sam demanded, "Is she hurt?"

Jake shook his head curtly and roughly pushed past Embry and Jared. I was blushing with all the stern expressions staring at me. Paul demanded, "Then what's with the damn theatrics, Jacob?"

Jake stalked through the house and gently set me on a sofa in a living room. He whirled around and snarled in Paul's direction. Before Paul could cockily reply back with a snarl of his own, Sam stepped forward and said, "Jake, take a breath and speak to us. There's no need for confrontation with Paul."

"The leech," Jake growled wolfishly, "The red-head _bitch_ is after Bella. That's why she won't leave the damn state."

"Why?" Embry demanded with a dark edge to his voice, "Explain."

"Yeah," Paul snorted as he dropped in a chair across the room, "Enlighten us."

Jake ignored them both and stared at Sam. He growled, "I don't know how."

Paul laughed, "That's convenient."

Jake cursed heavily and Paul raised an eyebrow in amusement with a snarky grin on his lips. Jared sighed and said, "Can it, Paul."

Jake huffed before crouching beside the sofa and touching my cheek softly. He whispered, "Honey, you have to tell us. We need to know _why_ she's after you."

I looked at the boys around the room. Only one of them, in my opinion, was old enough to be considered a full-fledged man; the rest were boys. Kids. Teenagers. _Like me._ I didn't want any of them fighting to the death with Victoria, but I had no choice. All I could do is offer what little I knew of her.

Slowly I began, "Her name is Victoria. I met her a couple months after I moved here…through the Cullens. We were playing baseball and…"

Paul laughed sarcastically and asked, "Those _things_ play baseball with humans?"

I flinched and the color drained from my face. I was breathing shallowly. Jake kept his hands near me as he turned around and huffed, "Shut the hell up."

My eyes snapped to Sam as he rumbled lowly in his chest. The atmosphere changed somewhat once their leader had growled. After a brief pause, I struggled onward, "Victoria and another male named Laurent was part of a coven…a nomad coven. They thought the Cullens were interesting, so they introduced themselves. Uh, Alice and Ed-…Edward tried to cover my scent, but apparently my scent is too strong. They could all smell me."

Jared muttered under his breath, "Sickening."

Paul huffed in agreement and Jake gently asked, "What happened next, Bella?"

"The leader of the nomad coven smelled me and…and…Edward didn't like leader's, James, interest in me. I-I don't know how it happened, but suddenly the Cullens were facing off against the other coven. James took me as a dare. Uh, he wanted to challenge Edward and the only way to get to Edward was through me. So James hunted me."

I could hear Jake let out a gust of air as Sam sighed and asked, "How did you survive this?"

"The Cullens." I answered simply, "Alice and Jasper took me halfway across the country while the rest of the family hunted James. In the process of…uh, rescuing me later on, the other two members of James's coven fled from Washington while James was killed. But Victoria was James's mate, so she wants revenge."

"Rescuing you from what?" Jared asked.

"Yeah," Paul sneered, "I thought the leeches had you protected halfway across the country?"

Embry questioned, "Who is Laurent?"

"He was the vampire with the dreadlocks that you killed yesterday." I answered mutedly, "And the Cullens were protecting me; I was the one who screwed it all up."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Paul asked in impatience.

I stared at my pants, so I didn't have to look at Jake's pained expression. I explained, "James called my cellphone. He managed to convince me that he had my mom in Phoenix. H-he used an old video tape that he stole from my mother's house; it played my mother's voice during the phone call. I think it was pure luck that I managed to get away from Alice and Jasper without their notice."

I took a measured breath and finished, "Once I found out he didn't have my mom and that he had only used a recording of her voice, I was relieved. He toyed with me by videoing the whole ordeal; he wanted Edward to see my murder and revenge me. But…Edward got there quickly and fought James off of me. Carlisle healed all of my injuries and the Cullens burned down the dance studio James had held me captive in to cover their tracks."

"Carlisle?" Embry mumbled.

I nodded and put my arms around my stomach as I whispered, "That's the Cullens' father. He's the head figure of their family."

"Family," Paul scoffed, "They are a _coven."_

"Not now, Paul." Sam snapped before turning his attention to me and asking, "Were there any others in the nomad coven besides the three leeches?"

I shook my head and peeked at Jake's face. He was trembled slightly and was glaring at the floor. His hands were still gently touching my knees, but I knew he wasn't okay. I bit my lip and mumbled, "No, there were only three vampires."

Sam clapped his hands together and said, "This is settled. We know what the red-haired bloodsucker wants; this gives us a better advantage."

"Like hell." Jake growled as he whirled around with unbelievable speed. He lunged across the room until he was toe-to-toe with Sam. I gasped and my body tensed. When Paul jumped up from the chair, Embry pushed his muscular body off of the wall and smacked his hand against Paul's chest. Jared stepped forward and demanded tightly, "Calm down, Paul."

I stood up with my heart pounding as I took in the scene of five suddenly angry werewolves. The tension in the room was thick and palpable. Jake wasn't facing my direction, so I couldn't see his expression, but I could see the length of his bare back- he was tense. "I'll be damned if Bella will be considered an advantage in this situation. If you have any inkling to use her as bait, you might as well shove it up your ass."

My eyes widened at his heated tone. I could see Sam's face- completely calm and serious- as he stared heavily at Jake. He stated, "I didn't plan to use her as bait, Jacob. That goes against what we are made for; we protect all humans. All I meant by using the word advantage was that we know what we didn't before. The leech won't have a chance to get near Bella now."

Jake's shoulder heaved as if he was physically struggling to hold himself together. I remembered the way he described phasing as the brutal torture of bones and skin bursting open- I flinched at the very thought of him going through such a thing daily. Finally he spun around and came to me. He scooped my body against his chest and held on while he trembled. In a tight voice he ordered, "Calm me down. Say something. _Anything."_

He sounded so desperate that I immediately started babbling, "Uh, I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail calculus class. I convinced Charlie to go see Billy today because he looked so pitiful watching the sports channel without his best buddy."

His body was still quivering and his hold on me tightened even further. I blurted, "I told Charlie you might be able to come to our house for dinner soon because he was worried about you and wondering what you have been up to the last couple weeks. Now that I think about it, he'll probably hate your tattoo, so there goes any brownie bonus you may have gotten with him."

Jake chuckled and kissed the top of my head before pulling back and murmuring, "Thank you."

We must have stared at each other for longer than I originally thought because Sam cleared his throat loudly. I blinked and turned to him at the same time Jake did. He said, "Since you are out of school for spring break vacation, it'll be simple to keep you in La Push for the remainder of the week. Hopefully, the leech will try passing our boarders to get to you. If that happens, we'll have her before she takes two steps."

"A-Are you sure?" I asked nervously as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, "What if she doesn't try crossing to La Push lands? What about Charlie? She could go to my house if it is left unprotected."

Sam glanced at Jake before telling me, "We'll keep two wolves on Charlie Watch around the clock. That'll leave three of us to run patrols around our borders for the rest of the day."

"That's too much!" Paul protested indignantly, "That would mean that we'll get even less sleep than we do now. I'll be damned if I'm going to risk my neck because I'm dead on my feet while trying to save Leech-Lover."

Jake growled and the force of the noise caused me to shiver. He snarled, "One day I'm going to end up killing you, Lahote."

Paul laughed and was about to retort, but Sam stopped them both by hissing, "That is enough! Paul, you and Jared go make a few rounds. The leech took off into Canada last night, but she'll be back sooner or later."

Paul and Jared stalked from the living room leaving Embry, Jake, Sam, and myself. Sam rubbed a hand through his short hair in a stressful way before ordering, "Sit down, Jacob."

Startled, I watched Jake huff loudly before plopping down on the chair Paul had been previously occupying. I shuffled across the room and sat on the sofa again. Sam paced back and forth while occasionally sighing; I watched expectantly until he faced Jake.

"I understand how new this lifestyle is for you, Jacob, and I also understand how stressed you are considering the situation. I know Paul is an ass and he provokes you any chance he gets, but that doesn't make it any easier on the rest of us when you act just as childish as he does. You know that I think you are doing unbelievably well with your self-control; you are talented when it comes to tracking and hunting leeches. You've been a wolf for only two weeks and yet, you have a hand on it better than most of us."

"So I want you to remember that, Jake, when Paul pisses you off. Remember how much potential you have and remember that you are supposed to be a leader. I may be Alpha now, but the position is yours, Jacob. The royal blood line runs in your veins. Not mine. You have to set your differences with Paul aside; the animosity between the two of you rubs off on the rest of the pack and makes all of us irritable."

Jake sighed as Sam's speech came to an end. I was mystified, but Jake seemed to know exactly what Sam had spoken about. Jake muttered, "I'd much rather put Lahote in his damn place. What am I supposed to do, Sam? Would you allow him to speak about Emily the way he speaks about Bella?"

Sam and Jake's eyes clashed and the silence was deafening. By the shock on Embry's face, I assumed Jake had taken a step too far beyond an invisible boundary line I knew nothing about. Sam quietly responded, "I will put a direct order on Paul to stop his insulting jibs towards Bella, but I can't control his thoughts, Jake. You know that as well as I do. Now, go. I'll give you time to drive to Forks and then settle Bella in at your house."

He nodded, walked to me, took my hand and began to lead me from the house. Just as we were walking out the front door, Sam called out, "You run patrols in two hours, Jacob."

Jake sighed as he slipped in the driver seat of my truck. I allowed him to drive because I think the need to focus on the road distracted him from his unwanted thoughts. I kept silent until we were nearly to my house. Then, I asked, "What am I supposed to say to Charlie?"

"Don't worry about it. The Rez has a traditional beach party going on for the week. All of the kids from my school will be out there and plenty of students at Forks High School end up hanging out as well; that's your excuse."

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief and asked, "You want me to tell my father that I'm staying with you for an entire week, so we can party it up on the beach with tons of other high schoolers?"

Jake smirked slightly and answered, "Yup."

He pulled in the drive and cut the engine. He looked at me and I said, "Well, he's at your house watching the ball game with your dad right now."

"Good," Jake answered, "Then, we'll tell him once we're back at the Rez."

I asked, "Jake…what did Sam mean back there? About Alpha positions and bloodlines?"

He sighed and hesitantly stated, "We are just like an actual pack, Bells. There's leading positions. Sam is Alpha and Jared is Beta."

I stated, "Sam says your blood is royal. What does he mean?"

"It means that I'm supposed to be leader of the pack. Just like Dad is Chief of the tribe and I will be the next in line for that."

"So…" I quietly wondered, "Why aren't you leading the pack if it is rightfully your place to do so?"

"Because," Jake explained as I began tearing through my bedroom for clothes, "I'm still new to the change. Sam has had months with Paul and Jared beneath him to learn the ropes. According to Sam, he's willing to keep the position until I'm ready."

I shoved several shirts in my backpack before asking, "Are you worried that you can't handle it?"

When he didn't reply, I turned to him. He was positioned at the window and I watched as his intense gaze scanned the yard and surrounding forest; he was scanning for Victoria. I said, "I think you'd be a great Alpha, Jake."

His eyes met mine and the connection was immediate as if a steel cord locked us two pieces together to make one. He murmured, "I have my doubts about my own capabilities and Sam does an amazing job without my help."

He slung my bag over his shoulder and said, "We should probably hurry, Bells. I'm feeling anxious being so far from the boys when that leech is lurking around."

As we walked outside, I asked, "Didn't Sam say she ran to Canada last night?"

Jake shook his head as he helped me climb in the cab of the truck. Once we were on the road, he replied, "She ran toward the general direction of Canada; we can't be sure she isn't hiding deep in the mountains and waiting until tonight to come back."

Once we reached the Blacks' house, I became nervous. What would Charlie say to our lie? If this didn't work, I had no clue how the pack would be able to catch Victoria.

We entered the house and I watched as Jake walked to the couch and tossed my bag on the floor. He greeted Billy and Charlie nonchalantly while Charlie gaped at him. I hovered anxiously beside them before Charlie composed himself and stuttered, "J-Jake…your hair…uh…"

Jake gave a fake grin and explained, "Yeah, it's easier to work without all the hair in my way. The tattoo is a tribal thing. Cool, huh?"

Charlie's eyes zeroed in on his shoulder and nearly bulged out of his eye sockets. He worked to compose himself and I felt terribly sorry for him in that moment; I definitely knew how he felt. He mumbled, "Yeah, real cool, kid."

Jake plopped down next to Charlie on the couch and commented on the sports game. As Charlie slowly began to relax and chat with Jake, I glanced at Billy. He was watching Jake as casually as he could without drawing Charlie's suspicion, but I could tell that Billy was curious as to why Jake was suddenly so friendly and adamant when he had been the opposite for the last two weeks. I was slightly confused too.

But it all made sense once Jake casually said, "Oh, hey, Charlie. You know the annual spring break party we always have on the beach?"

"Uh, yeah," Charlie answered, "Sure."

"Well, Bella and I really want to go to it." He glanced at my awkward stance behind the couch and smiled, "I decided this paleface could use some fun."

"Oh, uh, sure." Charlie glanced at me as if to gauge my reaction before saying, "I don't mind you going, Bells. Just be careful and stick to Jake."

Jake smiled and innocently said, "Like glue. Don't worry; nothing will happen to her if she's with me."

I blushed and shuffled nervously as I mumbled, "Dad, it's a week-long thing."

Charlie cleared his throat and said, "Oh, I forgot about that. Well…I supposed you could drive each day."

Jake laughed and good-naturedly replied, "That'll waste so much gas, Charlie. She could stay here; I'll take the couch and she can have my room." He turned to Billy and asked, "Would that be okay, Dad?"

Billy and Jake shared a knowing look before Billy nodded and said, "Bella is welcome at any time, Charlie. We don't mind; let the kids have some fun."

After that, Charlie reluctantly agreed, but my nerves didn't dissipate. There was still a vampire hunting me with intentions to kill and the only thing standing in her way was a group of young boys with an unfair predicament. And one of those boys was such a large piece of me that I couldn't bear to see him hurt. He had taught me how to move on, how to be strong, how to cope, how to be content. The thought of his death caused a knife to slice through my gut; if the time came that Jake's life was threatened, I knew I would do whatever possible to ensure his survival. Absolutely anything.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:** _Ohhh, you guys, I'm so expecting reviews for this one;) I have fun writing it, but I have even more fun knowing your reactions. *evil laugh*_

The days and nights dragged by painstakingly slow like I was in a dimensional time warp. I was no longer sleeping at all. I spent endlessly sluggish, dreadful hours at Emily Young's cottage. I was beyond anxious; my mind had the time to envision numerous scenarios where Victoria continuously prevailed. I pictured Jake; broken, bloody, dead. _Lifeless. _I pictured the dark forest at twilight and Victoria- with her flaming red hair and blood dripping upon her lips- with the destroyed bodies of wolves surrounding her like shattered dolls. I spent every waking moment tormented and wondering and stressing to the point that I became physically ill.

Late at night was the worst. During the day, Emily and I tried to keep ourselves occupied as much as we could. We had a silent agreement of sorts; we baked and cooked hundreds of pounds worth of food to feed the pack. And we didn't talk about death or hunting or supernatural beings. We spoke of simple things. Of high school and books and food and gardening. Of children and our families. The pack was working twenty four hours a day; they only halted long enough to eat and re-energize in two-pair increments. Then, they would take off again bounding to the forest while stripping down to nothing before phasing. But they always made sure _not_ to be within my line of sight before they transformed- I supposed so I wouldn't see them naked.

I was whittled with guilt and shame; these men lived this way because of me. So I aided Emily and cooked to the point of exhaustion because that was all I could offer. The pack's hunger was truly bottomless, and I liked to think that I was helping by some tiny degree. Every night, just past midnight, Jake would retrieve me from Emily's cottage and walk me to his house. He would stay for less than an hour before heading out of his back door and disappearing within the trees. He would attempt to talk with me, but I could see the fatigue and frustration kept him on edge.

In that single hour I would get to see him, I could tell his mind was so thoroughly distracted by the hunt.

As the days wore on, I began to notice how edgy the entire pack became. At first, Sam seemed calm and in control. Embry seemed tired, but fine. But the endless shifting, hunting, running, and tracking were catching up with them. It was on the day five that there was a disturbance to break the horrible, monotonous routine. It was nearly midnight; I was slumped over on Emily's sofa while dozing in and out of horrid dreams when the back door burst open.

Gasping, I shot up into a standing position. Emily came scurrying from the kitchen in time to see Embry stalk through the doorway. Immediately, I knew something had gone wrong. His eyes were wide and his bare chest was heaving violently. His body was spasming with tremors and he was still trying to pull his shorts up to his naked waist. I adverted my eyes just as he demanded, "Bella, we have to leave. Emily, stay here. You're safe."

My heart was pounding and my breathing became shallow as Embry roughly dragged me out of the cottage. I stumbled down the steps and blindly was dragged through the darkness. He was pulling me down the narrowed road for several minutes before I breathlessly whispered, "Is she here? Did you find her?"

He didn't speak for some time. He kept pulling me by arm; the arm had long since lost all feeling. Finally, he coarsely said, "Yes."

I looked wildly around while trying to deceiver exactly where, on the Rez, we were. He was leading me further from the living quarters and deeper into the forest. I could feel chilly, slushy water slopping inside of my sneakers and across the bottoms of my pants. I wasn't wearing a jacket, so my bare arms were cold. I wasn't sobbing and for that I was proud of myself, although, I was anything but calm. As he continued to jerk me through the night, I feverishly accepted that fact that my life was in danger by the hands of a supernatural being. Again.

"Where are you taking me, Embry?"

My voice wasn't shaky, but it was certainly weak sounding. Embry muttered, "We have a plan, Bella."

I didn't question him even though I desperately wished to. I knew this man was risking his life for mine; I knew the other four men were risking their lives for me as well, even though the majority of them didn't like me at all. My legs were shaky and I slipped on the forest floor numerous times, but Embry never let go. He never stopped stalking through the night with his long, powerful strides. When I fell, he just kept moving and tugging on me.

I wasn't annoyed about it; I understood the need to keep moving.

Finally, after what felt like hours, he came to a halt and harshly ordered, "Don't move from this spot. Do you understand me?"

I nodded wordlessly and watched him fly through the darkness until I could no longer see him. I was alone. I took a shuddering breath and exhaled gradually. I wasn't sure what their plan was, but I had to trust them. I didn't know where Embry was going or where Jake was. I didn't know if I would live to see the morning light or if my father was alive at this exact moment, but thinking of all of those things only caused panic to well up inside my chest.

I took another deep breath and released it before glancing around. I didn't move; Embry had said not to. I squinted toward my left until I realized the splash of color several yards away from me was the main road leading from La Push to Forks; I was at the border of the reservation. I wasn't sure which end I was at, but I knew I was at one of the four border ends.

The night was cold and my breath caused little, white puffs to float above my head. My body was shivering and I tried wrapping my arms across my body and rubbing quickly to bring some sort of warmth to me. I wondered if Victoria was coming for me. I wondered if the pack was alright. I wondered if they had already killed her. Or if she had managed to kill one of them.

Tears pricked my eye sockets, but I blinked rapidly until my vision was clear again. I still didn't understand why I was in the dark, in the forest, by myself. I hoped that whatever plan they had created would work. I thought back to Jake and Sam's discussion. The way Jake had assumed Sam wanted to use me as bait. I wondered if that was what Sam was doing now. _Was I bait? _If I was, I knew Jake would be here. He would never allow me to be willing thrown toward danger; he would try to rescue me. Since I couldn't detect his presence within the darkness, I assumed Sam wasn't really using me as bait. A wretched part of my mind whispered terrible words to me: _Maybe you are the bait, Bella, and Jake can't get to you because he's dead. Victoria killed him._

"No…" I whispered to the night.

"No?" A chilling voice echoed tauntingly. I whirled around. And there she was. Just the same as she had been nearly a year ago. Bright, corkscrew curls messily thrown about like dangerous flame fingers. Eyes of the evilest creature one could imagine; ruby-red and watching me as a starving lion would watch its next meal. Her arms and feet were bare- showing off flawless, ivory skin- and her clothes were torn and dirt. It gave her a wild, uncaring edge to her already monstrous look.

She took a step forward like a lethal dancer. Her grin was deliberate and wide enough to show her pearly white teeth. "Isabella, my dear, you have been such a hard girl to get a hold of, haven't you?"

My throat felt swollen and it took three tries before I could swallow the bitter lump forming. I didn't speak; I knew she was toying with me.

She clucked her tongue and moved forward another foot. She cocked her head to the side and I watched as her red hair bounced about. She said, "I would love to know how you managed to hide behind a pack of smelly dogs."

My skin was crawling with disgusting sensations just from seeing her. All of my nightmares were alive before me; I felt vomit churning in my stomach.

In her girly, sing-song voice, Victoria asked, "Won't you talk to me?"

My lips trembled and every instinct inside of me was telling me to run. Run as far as I could. But I knew how fast vampires were; I had seen them in action. I could never, no matter how hard I tried, out run Victoria. It was better to stand tall and show her no fear. If I was to die, then I would die bravely. Surely I could manage that much.

I whispered, "How did you get past the wolves?"

She grinned like a predator and explained in a disturbingly delightful tone, "Oh, it was really too easy. I have a friend who was willing to lead them on a little chase. Now, I finally have my time with you. Aren't you excited?"

She didn't wait for my answer, but continued talking.

"You know, Bella, I thought once the Cullens left you it would be so simple to kill your father and take you for myself. I spent only a few, short months gathering…a following, you could say. I return to Forks to retrieve you and what do I find?"

She sped forward with inhuman speed. I gasped as she halted inches from me and ran an icy fingertip across my cheek. She whispered, "I find you befriending werewolves. What are the odds that an insignificant human like you could catch the attention of vampires _and_ werewolves? Of course, they are lowly creatures compared to vampires, but still; what do you _do_ to attract such attention to yourself?"

My entire body shuddered as she gripped my face in a pain lock. Her red eyes were all I could see as she stated, "I see nothing special about you. There's no remarkable trait I have yet so seen. The only thing I know you have that is worth a second of my time is your blood. Oh, I heard how terribly mouthwatering it tastes, yet that doesn't explain how you have managed to draw werewolves to your defense. Care to enlighten me, my dear?"

I said nothing.

I watched as irritation flickered across her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but snapped it shut quickly. Rage filled her vision as she sped forward and swiftly pulled my body against her own. She whipped us both around until we were facing the road. We were barely ten feet from the asphalt, but I could hardly make out the shape of the road. It was too dark. She hissed against my ear, "I don't believe this."

Her hold on my arm was so strong that I felt immediate pain as if my arm was trapped beneath a heavy object. My face contorted in pain, but I refused to cry out. My teeth were biting down on my lower lip to hold back my whimpers. Victoria hissed, "What do you want? Have you come to save her? You are so undecided."

I frowned and struggled. _Where was Jake? Was he here?_ She seemed to realize how tightly she was holding me because her grip loosened. She whispered tauntingly, "I can't have you broken already. Not when I'm so distracted. I'd rather be focused on you when the pain comes."

"Let her go, Victoria."

I choked at the sight before me. They appeared before my eyes much like the dream I had dreamed for weeks. So beautiful, so pale, so perfect. _The Cullens._ All seven of them. In a row, grouped together as their blurring figures came to a stand- still on the opposite side of the road. My eyes trailed over them, but I couldn't see well. I could make out their shape, see their golden eyes. They were motionless and I heard Carlisle's voice clearly as he called out, "Victoria, there is no need for this. You can release her and run while the wolves are still miles away. You only have a few moments to decide."

"I will run, Carlisle." Victoria's shrill laugh blasted through the air, "Those wolves are fumbling baboons. They haven't caught me in all the weeks I've been here, what makes you think they could catch me now?"

Rosalie's snarling voice echoed across the road, "I promise you death if you take her life from her, Victoria. In fact, I promise you death regardless."

Alice's high-pitched voice rang out as well, "You know of my gift to see the future, Victoria, and I have seen your death continuously. Either by us or by the werewolves."

Victoria hissed and cackled before asking, "Do you hear that, Bella? The precious Cullens have come to your rescue. How touching it is, but I wonder…"

She laughed again and asked, "How will your wolf take the news of their return? He surely loves you for he has been attempting to kill me since the day he finally transformed. Imagine my surprise when that mangy pack of dogs suddenly had a new member. It took some time before I realized that a particular scent lingered on your skin. Tell me, is that why you have dogs defending you? Because you have found a puppy that is in love with you?"

I said nothing.

She twisted my arm slightly and I gasped breathlessly. She said, "Now, Bella, I know you aren't mute. Which wolf is yours? Is it the leader or the newest puppy that I smelt on your skin?"

I was beginning to hyperventilate by the time she smiled and whispered, "Oh, no. Your wolf is the reddish-brown colored one. The newest member of the pack. Ah, he is the one I killed on the mountain an hour ago. You have terrible luck with love, my dear Isabella."

My body was shaking as I spoke from between clenched teeth, "You're a liar."

She laughed and faced the Cullens. She excitedly said, "Oh, she speaks!"

Then she stroked my cheek again before setting me on my feet. Her vice grip clutched at my shoulders while she said, "I only have a short time left, so listen closely. You really shouldn't bother with protection. Your pathetic protection won't last when I return; everyone you love will die if they stand in my way." Then she offered a snarling grin and laughed, "Goodbye for now."

I fell to the ground with my forearms catching the brunt of my impact. I was breathless and sucking in large gulps of oxygen when I felt the icy air shift as if a sudden gust of wind swept by my crumpled body. I was afraid_, terrified,_ to look. But I did. And there, all surrounding me, were the Cullens. My arms were throbbing with the force of the hit they just took, but I hardly cared.

I struggled to stand, but stand I did. Carlisle was the closest to me with an ageless face and grim concern. I focused on his eyes; I refused to meet the gaze of the seventh Cullen hovering near his brothers. Carlisle's musical voice met my ears, "Does any bones feel fractured or broken from her hold, Bella?"

Mutely, I shook my head and wrapped my arms around my stomach. My mind was blank. My mind was full. I was overwhelmed and I was sure I would explode at any moment. I needed to hold on to something. Anything to keep me grounded. I was drowning.

_Jake._ I needed Jake.

I choked, "Where is the pack?"

Carlisle hesitated before saying, "They are nearly here. Perhaps a mile out."

"You have to leave." I found myself saying, "They'll attack you all."

"We're here to keep you alive, Bella." Alice stepped forward and spoke urgently, "I have had visions of Victoria and she will destroy you and the werewolves without our assistance."

I struggled to breathe as I took in her beautiful features. Her words were heard, but I couldn't comprehend. I stuttered, "W-What?"

"You have no need to worry, Bella," Carlisle spoke soothingly, "All will be dealt with. I am so truly sorry; we should have disposed of Victoria before we ever parted from Forks."

I glanced between Alice and Carlisle before asking, "What are you talking about?"

Alice explained, "Bella, Victoria is going to-"

There was the sound of thundering rumbles and growls from directly behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and my eyes widened. Slinking through the edge of the forest and coming closer were four massive, canine shapes. They were noticeably wolves except they were bigger than horses. Bigger than SUVs. My jaw dropped as they all snapped their jaws and swished their tails threateningly. The hair of each wolf's back was bristled.

When the growling wolves were merely a foot from me, I turned back around to shout a warning to the Cullens, but they were already several yards away. The wolves began to form a V shape with a black wolf at the tip of the V. Sam. At that moment, I realized a wolf was missing. My heart dropped to my toes and my face paled. I felt dizzy and my stomach threatened to up-heave.

_Where was Jake?_ I knew- even though I had never before seen the men in their wolf forms before that moment- that none of the enormous wolves beside me were Jake. I was hyperventilating again by the time Carlisle loudly stated, "Sam Uley, I wish to speak with you. We are not here as a threat and we are not working with the nomad vampire you are hunting."

I could feel the tension in the air, feel the reluctant pause from the wolves. My body was trembling with fear and worry and sickness when I heard a rasping snarl from behind me. I whirled around and the relief was instantaneous. I gasped, "Jake…"

**Author's Note:** _...So? Come on, guys! Letme have it:) Even you out there that don't normally review:) This was one of the chapters I really wanted reactions to._


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:**_ Thank you all for reviewing! Enjoy the chapter!_

_I could feel the tension in the air, feel the reluctant pause from the wolves. My body was trembling with fear and worry and sickness when I heard a rasping snarl from behind me. I whirled around and the relief was instantaneous. I gasped, "Jake…"_

He was in his human form with only a pair of shorts on. His bronze skin was glistening with sweat and his handsome face was a bitter, twisted mask as he bared his teeth and stated, "Get the hell out of my sight. You are not welcome here, you filthy bloodsucking leeches."

The contempt in his voice paired with the hateful mask upon his face was enough to leave me in horrified shock. He stalked forward with movements that were powerful and lethal; I watched as the Cullens backed away. Jake stood slightly in front of me, but didn't look at me. Carlisle spoke carefully, "I wish to speak to the leader of your pack, sir. To Sam Uley."

Jake shot back acidly, "Does it look like I give a shit what you want?"

My jaw dropped and I whispered, "Jake…"

His body was trembling as Carlisle responded kindly, "My daughter, Alice, has the gift to see the future. She has seen Victoria killing all of you and Bella Swan. We have come back to Washington to guarantee that this does not happen."

_"Like hell."_ Jake snapped, "Leave before we _make_ you leave."

"I speak only the truth." Carlisle insisted, "We wish to help. Bella is in danger; you all are. I don't wish death on any of you. This is our responsibility to Bella. She would have never been in danger from Victoria if-"

"You're damn right about that, leech," Jake snarled, "You despicable creatures are the cause for a lot of shit. The only thing keeping me from ripping you apart is Sam. Now, leave before I decide I don't give a damn."

I found my voice then. "They're telling the truth."

I watched as Jake's body physically jerked when I spoke. I stepped forward and touched his wrist. I whispered, "Jake…they're telling the truth. Alice can see the future."

It seemed like an endless time before he turned and looked me in the eyes. Several intense emotions passed between us before he silently begged, "Don't do this to me, Bella."

My chest was being split apart, but I pushed past the pain and said, "I believe them. If they're saying Victoria will manage to kill all of us, then I believe them. I'm trying to save your life."

There was a series of angry barks from Sam. That was when Edward spoke loudly and clearly. The sound was like shooting bullets through my heart. "Sam has spoken his thoughts and wishes to speak with Carlisle."

"And how would you know that?" Jake growled as he whirled to face Edward's direction. Terrified that Jake would attack, I latched onto his bicep and urgently said, "Jake, no. Stop."

Edward was now in my view. Taking in his beautiful image was like sipping on poison. I choked and my eyes welled with tears. Jake was still trembling violently in my arms and I could see a look of horror cross Edward's pale face. I heard shuffling from the general direction of the wolves and then heard Sam speak gruffly, "You say one of you can see the future? Like visions?"

"Yes," Carlisle sounded calm as he gestured to short, dark-haired Alice. She stepped forward and explained, "I have visions of the future, yes."

Three massive wolves were spread strategically between Sam, Jake and myself. Sam asked, "What have you seen?"

"I have seen," Alice answered clearly, "Victoria creating an army of newborn vampires. She has, at my best estimation, twenty newborns that she will bring to Washington."

The wolves snarled in unity as Sam demanded, "When?"

Alice hesitated and said, "I haven't been able to pinpoint the exact time. My visions don't work that way, but I know an estimated time."

"_Estimated?"_ Jake rumbled, "Sam, she's a damn lair. Can we kill them already?"

I released his arm as if he had physically electrocuted me. He turned to face me and his bitter mask smoothed somewhat. He questioned, "Bells?"

"What in the hell is your problem?" I asked quietly, "You're not Jake."

"_What?"_ He asked in irritation.

"This isn't you." I shot back, "You want to _kill_ them? Have you been listening to what you're saying? What have you done with Jake, huh? Because this isn't him."

There was a moment of silence and I watched as any traces of the Jacob I knew left. His eyes were flat and black as he snarled, "You, of all people, should want their death. Yet you stand here and defend them."

"Breathe, Jake." I said quietly, "Take a minute to calm down."

His body continued to tremble, but I saw a flicker of awareness in his eyes. I felt several pairs of eyes watching our exchange intently, but the eyes I felt the most were the ones of the bronze-haired vampire that had torn my world apart. Sam spoke suddenly, "It's our natural instinct to kill leeches, Bella. The wolf is tearing at him to kill as it is with all of us right now. He's in agony with you so close to our enemies."

Understanding dawned on me as I softly said, "Jake, come back. Calm down and come back to me. They won't hurt me, okay?"

The darkness slowly began to recede from his eyes; once I stepped into his arms the shadows completely released him. The trembles came to a near-halt and he released a deep breath. His arms tightened around my waist. We listened as Sam asked, "What do you suggest?"

Carlisle said, "I suggest your pack should work together with my family. My son, Jasper, has had years of battle experience dealing with newborn vampires."

The wolves rumbled in disagreement, but Sam efficiently handed out an order that shut them all up. Somber Jasper- with his ivory skin and honey colored hair- stepped forward and nodded curtly. He spoke slowly with a southern draw to his voice, "I spent over fifteen years with my maker. She and I dealt with newborn vampires on a daily basis. I am familiar enough with newborn armies that I could ready your family and my own well enough to fight and win."

My heart was hammering and the only thing keeping me from passing out was Jake's sure arms embracing me. This couldn't be happening. Sam's hard expression gave away nothing. Eventually he nodded and said, "Fine. We will have to have training sessions, but before-hand; I will have to discuss matters with my pack."

Carlisle nodded and sincerely said, "I'm so glad we could come to an agreement, Mr. Uley. I regret that it has come down to such violence."

Sam stared back fiercely and spoke in clipped tones, "I will contact you with the time and meeting place soon. In the meantime, I need to know where each of you will be staying."

"We will be at our previous estate, Mr. Uley." Carlisle answered instantly.

With that, the Cullens spun into seven individual blurs of color and shot off into the night. The growls that were in the background for the entire conversation finally ceased. Jake kept holding me as Sam stalked toward us. I could see the purple bags underneath Sam's eyes, which brought guilt to the surface to plague me. He ordered, "I want everyone to run along the border to be sure the red-haired bloodsucker is gone before returning home."

He gestured to Jake and instructed, "Get her to your house, Jake. Talk it all out and get some rest. I want you at Emily's by noon tomorrow."

Jake scooped me up and cradled my body against his chest. He began to jog a bit faster than the average human. I felt the tension radiating from him, but I was too exhausted to speak. When he cradled my whole weight with one hand and threw the front door open with the other, I decided he was angry again. He shut the door and marched to his bedroom where he gently set me on the bed.

He rubbed his hands over his face roughly and abruptly stated, "I'm going to take a shower."

I was left sitting on the edge of the bed with emotions getting at me. I felt guilty; I felt confused. I felt fearful; I felt irritated. I felt exhausted; I felt alive. When Jake returned to the bedroom smelling of soap I couldn't contain the shivering any longer. I shook and the silent tears spilt down my cheeks. Jake embraced me and after a moment, I realized I wasn't the only one shaking with silent tears.

"I almost failed." His whispering voice cracked with stress, "You were surrounded by damn monsters tonight and you could have been…"

My grip on his neck tightened as I sniffled, "But I wasn't. I'm alive and it's because of you."

"I let that other leech distract me." He muttered, "That's all he was. He was a diversion to give the red-head time to reach you while you were unprotected."

"It's okay, Jake," I chanted, "It's okay."

"No, it isn't." He murmured, "It is my job to keep you protected, Bella. I'm a Protector. I'm _your_ Protector."

My heart skipped a beat as I whispered, "You protect me better than anyone else on this planet, Jake."

His fingers circled my wrists as he laid us across his mattress. He softly kissed me before whispering, "I'll be better prepared from now on. I swear on my life that she won't touch you again. I won't let her touch you. I won't let any of them touch you."

I pressed myself against his warm chest as my heavy eyes shut. As I drifted off I heard him whisper, "I feel like I'm losing myself, but what's worse is that I feel like I'm losing you, Bella."

The following morning brought sore muscles and bruises. As I lay in Jake's arms with his snores playing softly like music, I panted at the pain radiating through me. I maneuvered slowly until I could take stock of my body; my arms were violently spotted with dark, purple bruises. My forearms were both massive splotches of purple. I slipped from Jake's arms and stiffly walked to the bathroom. The warm water did nothing to soothe the pain, but at least I was clean. I slipped on a sweater to hide the awful injuries. After I brushed and tied my hair back, I returned to Jake's bedroom to find him sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. His voice was deeper than normal as he asked, "Did you sleep well?"

I nodded as I observed him. His hair was flattened against his head and his eyes were heavily-hooded; his naturally deep voice was even deeper from sleep. I went to his side and took his face in my hands. He seemed surprised, but didn't protest. I leaned forward inch-by-inch until my lips touched his. I watched as his eyes began to burn; he put his palms against my hips and whispered, "What was that for?"

I sat beside him and released his face. "You won't lose yourself, Jake. If you ever feel like you are, then come to me and I'll remind you who you really are."

I watched the whirlwind of emotions flaring in his eyes as he huskily murmured, "What about you?"

I shook my head and searched his face. He was tense, but beneath that I could see the sunny boy who loved me. The healthy, happy boy who just wanted me safe and content. I whispered, "You aren't going to lose me either."

"Promise me." His voice broke with the amount of emotion he was trying to keep at bay, "Please, promise me."

I leaned forward and brought my forehead against his before saying, "I promise, Jake. It's you and me. Jake and Bells."

He stroked my hair while saying, "I'm going to keep you safe from all these bloodsuckers, Bella. I swear I will. I'll kill every single one of them if it is the last thing I do."

I stared at him for a long time before murmuring, "I believe you."

He kissed my cheek tenderly and said, "We have to go to Emily's for the pack meeting."

I nodded gently and stood up. I watched as Jake dug underneath his bed, slipped a pair of dusty sneakers on his feet and then took my hand. He led me from the silent house and down the road. The sky was a dark gray and mist hung heavily in the air. By the time we made it to Emily's cottage, rain was pouring down.

Jake ushered me inside and closed the door behind us before leading me to the living room where everyone was sitting. Jake leaned against the wall nearest to Sam, so I did too. Jared and Paul were taking up the majority of the space on the sofa, but Embry was absent. As if he could read my mind, Jake asked, "Where's Embry?"

Sam sighed and said, "Quil phased early this morning."

Jake made a strangled noise and I gripped his hand to bring him some sort of comfort. His voice sounded coarse when he asked, "How is he doing?"

"Better than any of us did our first time," Sam replied grimly, "Embry is with him right now. He's actually quite excited to be in on the secret."

"Yeah," Paul laughed with a snort, "His thoughts were all sappy for his two best friends. He's glad to know Jake and Embry didn't forget about him."

Jake completely ignored him and asked, "Are we starting without them then?"

Sam nodded and began, "I made a massive decision by deciding to work alongside the Cullens for this upcoming battle. I'm not completely sure if they are telling the truth about this vision nonsense, but I would rather be safe than sorry. If over twenty vampires are coming to our land, then we must fight."

"I agree," Paul said, "But what if this is all just a bunch of crap? What if these leeches are just blowing smoke up our asses?"

Sam answered firmly, "If that does turn out to be the case, then I will banish them. I want them dead just as much as you do, Paul, but they are aiding us right now. The Cullens are our only option."

Jake commented, "For what it is worth, I don't like this either. Paul, trust me when I tell you I don't want to be near these damn things. I wish they weren't here, but if working with them bring us victory over an army of bloodsuckers, then we have to do it."

Paul nodded and rolled his eyes, "Fine. Bring it; I'll burn them all down."

Sam said, "That is the way I want you to think of this, Paul. Forget that the Cullens are bloodsuckers. Focus on the army coming to invade our home."

Jared spoke up suddenly by questioning, "Where are we going to meet with them?"

Paul huffed, "Surely not on their turf."

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, "We'll meet them in the clearing by the river."

Paul's eyebrows shot up as he said, "That is barely three miles from the south border of the Rez, Sam."

"That is further away than where they were last night." Sam responded logically, "We put Bella on the line of the _west_ border because we thought we had the red-head and her partner running toward the _south, _which is too close to Emily's cottage; the red-head would have picked up Bella's scent effortlessly if we had left her there. Regardless_, _the Cullens met Bella barely twenty yards from our border line."

After a moment, Sam frowned and said, "I don't like how easily the red-head tricked us. How did she manage to circle back around us without anybody realizing until it was too late? We _have_ to work on our strategy or else this army will have an upper hand on us."

"The trees." Jake answered simply.

"What?" Jared asked as all eyes in the room focused on Jake's form. He repeated, "She took to the treetops. I figured it out last night before I fell asleep. When we caught wind of that rogue-male leech, she took the opportunity to scale the side of the mountain. I was on her quickly, but she was a second ahead of me and in that single second, she jumped from the top of the mountain to the treetops."

"That explains why we were only getting vague scent trails from her; she was hundreds of feet in the air." Sam murmured thoughtfully, "That's why we could hear her, but not see her."

"Yes," Jake answered, "I've realized that the red-head likes to play games. She's willing to dance around us and avoid direct confrontation. She's fast, but if one of us could get a bite on her, then I think she'd be destroyed in seconds."

Sam nodded and said, "That's good thinking, Jake."

"So we're going to do _what?"_ Paul asked grudgingly, "Meet with the bloodsuckers to discuss battle strategy and wrestle?"

Sam replied, "Yes, that's exactly what we are going to do."

**Author's Note:** _This conversation explains why they brought Bella out to the west border by herself: the wolf pack was herding Victoria and her male leech toward the South border, which was extremely close to Emily's cottage. Sam put a hasty order for Bella to be brought far from the south side of La Push. While the chase was happening, as Jake explained, Victoria slipped through the cracks and found Bella. The Cullens return, as you probably realize now, were a surprise for the wolves as well.  
_


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note:** _I've finally caught up with myself on the chapters that I've had written in advance; I'll probably be posting every other day from now on…However, I won't take a week or longer to update._

I was apprehensive about the upcoming meeting. Two opposing enemy forces- literally designed to kill one another- were pairing together. For me. Sam wanted to work swiftly, so the next afternoon we marched to the clearing near the border of La Push. Everyone was abnormally quiet and tense. There was no boyish wrestling and loud jeering. No laughter or playful growling. The pack had decided it was safest to meet the Cullens only in their wolf form, which left Jake exposed. He refused to be in wolf form; he wanted to keep himself open to me should I have need for him.

The rest of the pack, and myself, thought it better for him to be more worried about his own personal safety over my emotional state- he didn't think the same. In my mind, I knew the Cullens wouldn't attack Jake unless he attacked first. Yet there was a small part of me that questioned the Cullens' self-control. _What if, for some reason, one of them did attack Jake while he was in human form?_ In wolf form, he had the means to protect himself from a vampire, but he wasn't nearly as strong or fast on two legs. Sam had asked Jake to reconsider his decision to stay human along-side me, but Jake refused continuously. Since he was so adamantly refusing better judgment, I decided to stay glued to his side. If- though I sincerely doubted- one of the Cullens attacked Jake, then I would put my body in front of his own. I was completely sure that would put a halt to the attack rather quickly.

I could tell that the wolves were anxious over Jake because they lacked their normal confidence. I caught Embry taking anxious glances at Jake as we walked, hand-in-hand, to the clearing. I was irritated of my slowness; I knew the wolves would have traveled the bumpy, three mile hike in less than five minutes had I not been with them. As we broke through a thin patch of bushes, the Cullens came in to view. They were standing in a straight line several yards from where we were. It was in the pale, afternoon light that I got my first true glimpse of them. My gaze automatically zoomed in on the copper-haired angel standing beside his brothers. I was stunned to find his golden eyes piercingly gazing at me.

He looked the same as he had nearly six months ago- so beautiful and flawless that it was unbelievable. There was not a single blemish, a single scar or disfigured mark on his ivory skin. His hair was a splash of look-at-me color and artfully tousled. He was wearing a tanned sweater and designer pants I was sure cost more than my truck. He stood tall, but not quite as tall as his eldest brother.

_Edward._

I had spent six weeks of my life crying for him, screaming for him, begging for him, dying for him. Then, I spent months trying to reassemble my life when he had thoughtlessly ripped it down. Even now, there was a tiny piece of me that yearned to run to him. And there he stood.

The warmth radiating for Jake brought me from my despairing thoughts. We stepped forward slowly and surely with five wolves lurking on either of our sides. All of them looked menacing- including Quil. I was quite impressed with how easily he seemed to pull off the same aggression and lethal poise the other wolves could; he had barely transformed twenty-four hours before. Jake tugged my hand gently until I fit underneath his arm and then spoke deeply, "Well…we're here, leeches."

I winced at the word because I knew how unfair the term was. I watched Carlisle step forward with a gentle smile on his face, but for a moment, I was sure I saw disappointment flash across his pale face. "I thank you for coming, Jacob."

I watched as Jake frowned at the mention of his own name from the lips of the enemy. Carlisle continued to speak as if he didn't see the disgusted expression on Jake's face. "I know this will be challenging, but I truly think watching and participating in demonstrations is the only way to learn from our personal weaknesses."

Jake snorted and asked, "You want to actually fight each other?"

"Ah," Carlisle gave a charming smile, "Perhaps I should clarify by saying we should participate in friendly demonstrations. Jasper and I spent numerous hours discussing the easiest route to take for this particular situation; we have agreed that demonstrations are the only way. My family and I will share out strengths and weakness first…" Carlisle gave another smile and added, "As a show of good faith."

The wolves pawed backward, so Jake and I followed. I could feel the tension and concentration running off of Jake's skin in waves. I squeezed his hand to silently reassure him and he squeezed mine back before glancing at me. Carlisle began to speak, but I was distracted by Jake's eyes. His mouth moved slowly to form the silent words: I love you.

A small smile touched my lips as I squeezed his hand a second time. He refocused his eyes in Carlisle's direction and it was then that I saw Edward's haunted stare- he had witnessed our exchange. I blinked rapidly and tore my eyes from his. Carlisle had stepped back and allowed Jasper to step forward. Jasper stated, "We'll start with Emmett. Come on."

I watched as Emmett Cullen lumbered forward. Jasper circled his brother like a lion circles its prey as he explained, "Emmett's body is built with more muscle than the average vampire. His dominant characteristic is his brute strength. If his target is within close range, he will easily overpower them. His weakness; however, is speed. Emmett is slow compared to the majority of vampires."

Emmett hissed in offense to this statement, but Jasper continued on, "Because of his large body mass, he can't gain speed as easily as most."

Jasper lunged forward, but Emmett defected the block easily. They danced around each other for a moment before Jasper sped away; Emmett lunged for him, but could not catch Jasper. Emmett walked back to the sidelines while growling loud curse words. Jasper gestured to Alice, who danced forward with a flirty smile on her face. She grinned at her husband while Jasper tried to keep his expression serious as he explained with his thick Texas accent, "Alice's greatest strength is her ability to foresee what an opponent will do before they actually do it- meaning her use of visions. This causes her to be a wonderful asset. Her weakness is that her ability is a good offense, but not a good defense. Because of how small and physically weak she is, she cannot go head-to-head with a target. If she can use a surprise attack to her advantage, then she will wipe out the target easily. Otherwise, Alice can become overpowered by another."

She ruffled Alice's hair before she slapped his hand away and danced back to her original position. Jasper spoke in his southern draw, "Edward, come forward."

I gasped as Edward appeared beside Jasper in a whirlwind of colors. Jasper clapped Edward's shoulder and stated, "Edward is the fastest vampire I have ever met. He is abnormally swift even compared to the fastest vampire speeds. That, combined with his gift to read minds, makes him a deadly enemy. Much like Alice's visions, Edward's mind-reading ability allows him to know what a rival will do before they actually commit to the action. His weakness lies in his lack of confrontation."

Jasper swung around to lash out at Edward, but Edward had already flickered across the clearing. A moment of silence passed while the wolves moved about anxiously- they didn't like Edward's speed at all. I watched intently as Edward's image blurred and then disappeared. He reappeared beside Jasper.

"Edward has little experience killing vampires and he has never killed a newborn before, so this is new for him as it is for all of you. He's a fast study, though, so I have no doubts how deadly he will be by the time of the fight."

Jake interrupted rudely, "Tell us the difference between a newborn and a regular leech, Southern Comfort."

My eyes raised and I anxiously waited for Jasper's reaction. I was relieved and rather surprised when he smiled slowly and responded, "A newborn is the term for a newly changed vampire; they're stronger than all vampires because the human blood for their previous life is still cycling through their veins. It takes about a year for all of their personal, human blood to be purged from a vampire's body."

After that, Jasper went on to demonstrate the strengths and weaknesses of the rest of the Cullen family. He had just finished describing Carlisle's characteristics when Jake asked, "So what's your weakness, bloodsucker?"

I gripped Jake's hand tightly in mine as Jasper slowly responded, "Blood."

Jake snorted and dryly said, "Thanks, Captain Obvious. You're a bloodsucker."

Jasper answered calmly, "That is my weakness; I have an abnormally potent craving for blood that the rest of my family does not."

Jake snorted, but said nothing else. There was a tension filled silence before Sam's black wolf slowly stepped forward. Jake sighed heavily and tugged on my hand gently until I started following him across the clearing. I was perplexed until he positioned me near the truck of a tree hardly ten feet from him. He eyed the Cullens sharply before quietly saying, "Stay right here until I'm done, Bells."

I didn't respond, but instead, I watched as the wolves lined up. Jake pointed to a silver wolf and spoke in a clipped tone, "Paul's greatest asset is physical strength. He'll try to take down anybody, wolf or leech, if they're close when he's pissed, which leads to his weakness…his impatient and hot-headed nature; it causes him to lose focus while fighting."

Jake gestured and irritably explained all the wolves characteristics until he was the only one left. Then he glanced at Sam, who nodded. Jake's voice was flat of emotion when he stated, "My greatest strength is my natural abilities."

He paused reluctantly before saying, "I transformed three weeks ago, but I have the most awareness when it comes to self-control. I can switch forms quicker than the others and…" He sighed and eyed Sam again. Sam let out an impatient growl from his muzzle before Jake muttered, "…my hunting and tracking skills are above the others."

There was a pause before Jasper asked, "Am I correct in assuming these points are not your views, but your leader's views on your skills?"

"Yeah," Jake grunted.

"What is your greatest weakness?" Jasper asked.

Jake's face was a hard, twisted mask. He did not speak. The seconds ticked by uncomfortably before Sam transformed to his human form. He stood tall and completely naked as he explained sharply, "Jake's greatest weakness is Bella."

The Cullens glanced at each other with perplexed expression while I stared at the wolves blankly. Jake didn't glance at me, but kept glared at the Cullens. Carlisle slowly said, "I'm afraid we don't understand that statement."

Sam elaborated somberly, "I believe Jake is our best asset in this battle. We work as a whole and each of us play vital roles in our pack, but Jake is above us all. He has a natural ability in all that he has done so far- he learns at an extreme rate. He caught the scent of a leech minutes before the rest of us did and led the tracking and execution of that leech when I was miles from them all. He was also the first to realize Victoria had tricked us the other night."

Sam took a breath and glanced at me before saying, "But this particular battle is personal for him on the largest possible scale. When it comes to Bella, he is clouded with emotions that could screw up his normal judgment. I thought it was important for everyone to be aware of that when the time for the battle comes."

Jake glared at Sam until Sam's body twisted and exploded to leave a massive, black wolf in his place. Jake demanded, "What's next?"

"I think…" Carlisle offered a kind smile, "That this is considerable progress for the day. Shall we meet tomorrow? We could begin physical techniques then."

Jake glanced at Sam; they shared some sort of silent communication and then Jake muttered, "Yeah, same time tomorrow."

Slowly, the crowd parted ways. I didn't move. Jake eventually came to my side and cupped my cheeks. Gently, he tilted my head back and stared into my eyes. He murmured, "You aren't my weakness."

I gave a sad smile and whispered, "I don't believe you…"

He took my hand and began leading me out of the clearing without a word. I couldn't see the other wolves anymore, but I was certain they were padding through the forest somewhere nearby. My thoughts were zooming in a million directions by the time we broke free of the forest and started up the narrow path leading to Jake's house. Reluctantly, I said, "I have school tomorrow, Jake."

He shot me a stunned look and abruptly stopped walking. His breath released in a hot gust before he cursed and said, "Don't worry about it. I'm going to talk to Sam right now and tell him I'll have to be stationed outside of your school until you are finished each day."

I frowned and said, "No way, Jake. You already hardly get any rest. You need to take time to sleep in between your patrols. Don't you need to guard La Push?"

"No," He answered, "We have Quil now, so five wolves will still be running the borders. I need to be wherever you are."

I bit my lip and asked, "So you're just going to stay in your wolf form all day, five days a week, and lounge around in the forest?"

"That's basically what I do anyway, Bella," He answered seriously as we walked into his house. He frowned and added, "Well, expect I don't lounge around."

I tried to argue with her, but he wasn't listening. Ten minutes after the argument began, Jake called Sam. Five minutes later, a mostly naked Sam Uley walked through the Blacks' front door. He grumbled, "This better be good."

"I'm going to have to be stationed at Forks High School starting tomorrow."

Sam's dark eyebrows shot up and he said, "Absolutely not. I need you here."

Jake replied seriously, "She has to go to school, so I have to be there, Sam."

Sam looked at me and simply suggested, "Drop out and start your senior year over next semester."

My jaw dropped and I laughed without humor, "You're joking, right?"

When he continued to stare at me somberly, I huffed and said, "There's no way I could do that. For starters, I've only got three months left and I'm finished for good. Secondly, Charlie will beat me over the head with a stick if I even think of dropping out."

Sam sighed heavily and ran his hands through his short hair before mumbling, "We have to find another solution because I need Jake in La Push."

"Why?" Jake asked, "You have four wolves plus yourself. I'll only be gone for about six hours out of the day."

"Six hours that we will be one man short on protection for our people, Jacob." Same responded firmly, "I agree that Bella needs a guard, but I can't allow you to run off to Forks each day. We have a potentially deadly battle coming that we need to prepare for. I planned on starting battle training for you and the boys soon."

"I thought that is why we're doing stupid battle training with the leeches." Jake protested, "She needs me and I'll be damned if she leaves my sight unprotected."

"We are training with the leeches, but extra training between just us is reasonable as well. Not to mention-" Sam halted suddenly and his expression changed.

I demanded, "What? What are you thinking?"

Sam eyed Jake steadily before huffing, "Are you positive that you can't drop out?"

I nodded adamantly and said, "Yes."

Sam never took his eyes off of Jake as he slowly said, "There are others that can protect her while she is in a school environment."

Before I could even think, Jake was growling deeply from within his chest, "No."

Sam glanced between the both of us before saying, "This obviously will cause tension, but if she insists on going to her school, then this is the only solution."

I closed my eyes as Jake began to protest loudly. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes and murmured, "I have to. I can't drop out of school. It'll cause Charlie to have a heart attack. I have to."

"Bells," Jake's spicy scent met my senses as he hugged me to his chest and begged, "No, no. Damnit, no. I'll watch you; they can't be near you."

I opened my eyes and looked up. I whispered, "Jake, I can't drop out of school. I'm so close to graduating and if I drop out, I'll be so behind next year. Not to mention, Charlie and Renee will going into a full-blown panic."

His hands trembled as he stroked my hair. His voice was strained as he said, "I can't stomach the thought of them so close to you. This can't happen."

"I would have rathered never seeing them again, Jake," I replied, "But they're here and they're risking their lives for me too. I'll go to school and that's it."

When he continued to shake and mumble curses under his breath, I asked Sam, "Can he pick me up each day?"

Sam nodded as he observed Jake intently. I whispered, "You can pick me up every day. I'll drive to school and you can run to Forks through the forest and meet me at the end of my last class. Jake, do you hear me?"

He nodded and released a breath before muttering, "If he touches you..."

I sighed, "Jake, he won't even speak to me. He and his family left because they were bored here. Bored with me and their life in Forks. It won't even come to the point of conversation with him. I'm sure of it."

Jake held my body at arm's length and whispered, "This scares me."

Overcome, I pressed my forehead to his chest and said, "It will be okay. It has to be."

**Author's Note:** _Thank you for reading and, as always, feel free to review: I love hearing from you!_


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note: ** _Enjoy this big chapter and thank you for your reviews!:) I would love your opinions on the events that are going to happen._

Monday morning came unforgivably. I controlled my nerves very well, but couldn't control the sharp beating of my heart. School was normally easy to deal with- I floated through the halls without many people noticing me. It wasn't like that now. As soon as I stepped out of my truck, much like the first day of my arrival, all eyes were on me. There were whispers and curious glances. And I knew what they whispered about even though I couldn't hear their words. _The Cullens._

The student body had witnessed my embarrassing months of unresponsiveness and the few friends I had managed to make now stayed far from me- they were with the groups whispering and watching me as I walked inside the school building. Only two parking spots from my own, I saw flashy cars that I knew belonged to the Cullen family. They were here. This was completely real. I stared straight ahead as I shuffled to my first period class.

Then I nearly fell over when I entered the classroom. Sitting in the very back row where I had stationed myself for the last five months was Edward and Alice Cullen. My heart thudded deeply in my chest as I swallowed and glance around. Naturally, there were no vacant seats elsewhere. The students gawked and snickered as I walked to the back of the room and sat less than two feet from the man who nearly killed me. The first man I had fallen in love with.

Taking a deep breath, I leaned my head against the desk and shut my eyes. Minutes ticked by sluggishly and I let the teacher's lecture lull me gently. Halfway through the class, an assignment was given. I could hear the loud shuffle of papers as everyone began their work- I didn't bother. It was another long moment before I felt a cool wind shift beside me as Edward shifted through his own materials. My heartbeat sped up considerably, but I ignored my reaction to the best of my ability. When the bell rang to signal the end of the period, I raced from the room.

I could feel eyes watching me as I briskly made my way to my second class of the day while hoping that none of the Cullens would be in that particular classroom, but my luck in life was terrible. Jasper and Alice were seated in the middle of the classroom; thankfully my desk in the back corner of the room was empty. I hurriedly sat down and attempted to copy notes because I was nearly failing the subject.

The rest of my day at school was just as stressful and I found that Edward, Jasper or Alice were in each of my classrooms. I was dreading lunch period because I had begun to stress over my seating arrangement; I made a point to stray far from the student body when inside the cafeteria. Problem? The only unoccupied table was in the far corner of the room- where the Cullens' used to sit when they first attended Forks High School.

They were sitting at _my_ table when I finally walked into the cafeteria. I was entirely too uneasy to eat, so I stalled for time while buying a soda. Then, like in a dreadful teenage movie, I stopped in the middle of the room with hundreds of eyes on me. I could hear Lauren Mallory's ugly giggles as she elbowed Jessica Stanley- I wanted to run away. My first thought was to turn around and bolt outside; I could sit at the picnic tables by the courtyard.

Except the rain was pouring down in massive sheets. And Victoria could swipe me up in a split instant if she happened to be lingering in the forest surrounding the backside of the school building. With my escape route thwarted, I took a deep breath and shifted my body in the direction of the Cullens. My eyes lingered on them and I felt a blush pooling upon my cheeks as all of their golden eyes stared back. I watched as Alice gave a soft smile and gestured to me. My face was burning with embarrassment as I shuffled across the suddenly massive room until I reached my destination. Until I reached _them._ There were two open seats at the table- one across from Alice and one across from Edward; I took the one nearest to Alice. As I sat down, I felt a small sense of betrayal to Jake. Since I had no other options, I tried not to let myself feel terribly guilty.

I swallowed deeply and mumbled, "Thanks, Alice."

She smiled brightly and completely dazzled me as she cheerfully responded, "It is no problem, Bella. I saw this happening today; I've been waiting for it. You should ignore Lauren and Jessica. Honestly, they're petty children."

I nodded wordlessly and stared at my hands as I gripped the soda can in front of me. I knew each of the vampires in front of me could easily hear the labored beating of my heart. I was uncomfortable and stressed and still terribly embarrassed because I knew- without a shadow of a doubt- that the Cullens could hear the gossiping whispers of the teenagers throughout the room. I felt my blush deepen when I pondered what some might be saying. _The Cullens are back. Are they back for Bella? Did you see how quickly she ran to them- back to him? She's so pitiful. So pathetic._

Alice was quieter and more hesitant as she asked, "How have you been, Bella?"

I blinked stupidly at her._ How could I answer that question? How could she possibly even have the gall to ask me that question?_ A snort slipped out as I said, "I've been having a blast. My father likely thinks I'm clinically insane. I've become the laughing stock of the school. I recently found out werewolves exist and, not only do they exist, but my best friend is one of them. Also, a sadistic vampire is bringing an army of blood-thirsty friends to aid her in my ultimate death. I'm really great."

It took five full seconds for me to realize what I had said. Then, I groaned lowly and stared even harder at the soda can. My body felt on fire with embarrassment. I felt the pressure building inside of me. In that moment, with awkward silence filling the tension around our table, Jessica and Lauren passed by. Lauren commented loudly, "Look, Zombie Bella can actually speak again."

Jessica laughed nervously as they walked out of the cafeteria. I heard a few quiet chuckles as other people passed by. My heart skipped a beat as I felt tears welling in my eyes. I stood up abruptly and left my soda can behind as I darted for the door. I walked briskly toward the parking lot with my truck as the only destination. It wasn't until I reached the truck that I let the tears drops fall.

I fumbled to unlock the door before climbing in the cab. I slammed the door and pushed my palm down on the locks of each door before curling up on the seat and sobbing. I didn't care about missing my last two classes and I didn't care that the Cullens had witnessed my departure or that they could hear my sobs. Time passed unbeknownst to me until I heard the voices and purr of vehicle engines coming to life. At that point, I attempted to stop the tears, but it all continued. The sobs were endless, so I stuffed my fist in my mouth to muffle them.

When I heard Jake's hard, anxious voice as he tapped loudly on my window the cries grew even more hysterical. His tapped louder and demanded, "Bells, open the door."

My sobs were enough to make me gag and it was then that Jake smashed his hand against the side of the truck and said, "Honey, if you don't open the door, I'll rip the damn thing off. Open the door, Bells."

I sat up and wiped pitifully at my sweaty face. Jake's face came in to view while only being slightly distorted for the truck window. I pulled on the lock until it finally gave way and then he was yanking the door open and cradling me in his warmth. He crooned to me soothingly while brushing his palm against the back of my head. It took some time before I could hear the words he was murmuring.

"It's okay, Bells, I'm here now. It's okay, baby, you're safe."

I clung to the back of his shirt as my sobs faded away and the tears began to dry on my cheeks. He murmured, "Did they hurt you?"

"N-No…" I hiccupped as burning tears oozed from my eyes again.

"Who hurt you, honey?"

"It was…was…" I pulled back and sniffled while wiping my swollen eyes. Jake kept one hand on my hip while softly brushing my knotted hair with the fingers of his other hand. He encouraged quietly, "It was what?"

"Just some stupid girls…" I gave a wobbly smile and whispered, "Today was harder than I thought it would be."

He brought both hands to my shoulders, rubbed softly and stated, "You're really tense. Damnit, Bells, I've never hit a girl, but I'm willing to find another girl to hit the one who made you cry like this."

A watery laugh left my lips as I wrapped my arms around his waist and said, "That's better than quoting poetry."

"Yeah?" He grinned as he looked me in the eyes, "You sure?"

I nodded and whispered, "Yes, I'm sure."

"That's good because I've never understand Shakespeare well enough for you."

I laughed and said, "Shakespeare mainly stuck to telling stories in a poetic way."

"Oh," Jake mused, "See? I thought the guy was just a poet girls dig."

I snuggled closer to his chest and mumbled, "I'm such a cry baby."

"You're my cry baby."

I moaned and said, "Are you getting cheesy again, Jake?"

"Honey, you'll have to get used to the cheese."

I couldn't help but chuckle as I pulled away and slapped at his chest. It was then that I realized he was wearing a rumbled t-shirt and jeans. My eyebrows raised and I asked, "Why are you wearing clothes?"

He laughed in delight as I blushed. I mumbled, "That sounded different in my head. Oh, you know what I meant, Jake."

"I'm wearing clothes because a bunch of pale-face humans would find it odd if I walked around in twenty degree weather without shoes or a shirt."

I was about to speak when he added, "If you want me to be naked, you have to wait until we get back to the house. It's socially unacceptable in public, honey."

I squeaked under my breath and stammered, "Shut _up,_ Jake!"

He patted my leg and kept laughing as he said, "Scoot over or we'll never get back to La Push."

The drive was uneventful and I was grateful to be far from school. Jake and I ate sandwiches in peaceful silence and it almost felt like times before Jake transformed- we were okay. I believed he was aware of how fragile I was after my breakdown because over the next several days he was unbelievably gentle with me. More so than usual.

Each day I would drive to school knowing that Jake was following me in wolf form through the forest. I would drag miserably through classes with the silent Cullens by my side and drag through even worse lunch periods. Then, when school was over, Jake would run from La Push back to my school in his wolf form and wait for me near my truck. He would drive us both to La Push where we would spend a couple hours together.

At dusk, he would drive me home. But he wouldn't leave. He stayed less than a hundred yards from my house each night; he refused for the Cullens to take nightly duty on Bella Watch without him being there. Sam and the Cullens had come to an agreement- without my being present- that two Cullens and Jake would watch over me each night. I was never alone and it was irritating, yet I knew I could not complain. Every one of my personal guards was risking their life for my own; I didn't have a right to voice complaints.

On Friday, both sides decided to gather for another battle meeting. I was miffed to know that Sam and Carlisle had both agreed to meet the night before- I was left at home completely unaware with two Cullens and Jake as my guard. When I found out, I had used my worry over Jake as an excuse to be present at all future meetings. That's how I found myself sitting on the forest floor several yards from the pairs of supernatural beings placed across the clearing. The pairs were one wolf per one vampire. With seven Cullens and six wolves, there was an uneven match. So Jasper stood by while pairing the other six members of his family with a wolf. I was grateful when Jasper paired Jacob with Carlisle's wife, Esme.

Although Jake continuously persisted that he was stronger than any vampire, I had my doubts. Surely, he was much stronger than any normal human and he was obviously the strongest and most talented out of his pack- but the Cullens were all over one hundred years old. They were wise and skilled and powerful. Jake was barely sixteen years old. He was young and mine; I still felt too protective of him. Every fiber of my being told me not to allow him to spare with a vampire. I didn't want him sparing with anyone, but especially not an opponent that could evenly match his skills. Esme was- regardless of her vampire status- a kind and sweet natured woman. And I doubted very seriously that she could hurt Jake.

That was why I stayed fairly calm as I observed the sparing and coaching coming from Jasper. It took half an hour before the wolves began to calm themselves enough to fully pay attention to Jasper's instructions and suggestions on fighting styles. I watched as he demonstrated a particular move newborns were fond of using. Another half hour passed as Jasper asked each person, both vampire and wolf, to deflect the newborn attack he demonstrated.

Emmett was the first Cullen to block Jasper successfully, although Edward and Alice closely followed Emmett's block. Jake was the only wolf- beside Sam- to deflect the demonstration. I felt relief to know that he was learning defense, but the relief was obliterated when Jasper called all the pairs apart. Once each was on their respective sides Jasper stated, "Emmett and Jake, step forward."

My heart skipped a beat as Emmett came forward with a stony expression. Jake slinked forward on four, massive paws. His fur was a dark russet color and his muzzle lifted instinctually as he drew closer to his natural enemies; his razor sharp canines nearly caused me close my eyes. Even compared to a mountain of a man like Emmett, Jake still towered over him. Jasper circled around them both while saying, "You two are the ones that really captured the deflect right off of the bat. I want you to spare."

My eyes widened as I scrambled to my feet. I was instantly lightheaded, so I put my hand on the bark of the tree I had been sitting underneath. The tree aided in holding me upright as Jasper back off. I glanced at him for a single second as he stood beside Edward- that's when I saw Edward watching me. He was always watching me. At school and in the parking lot. I had to tear my eyes away from his entrancing gaze as Emmett and Jake began to circle one another.

Emmett had a cocky smirk on his lips as he swiped out with lethal force and speed. I inhaled sharply and released abruptly as Jake dodged the attack. Emmett swiped out again, but Jake dodged to the left. He whirled around and let out a harsh snarl before catching Emmett's feet with his massive, sharp claws. Emmett hissed in a mixture of frustration and pain as he stumbled out of the way. Jake took advantage of Emmett's fumble. He lunged forward and took Emmett to the ground.

Inhuman snarls and hisses followed as Emmett struggled beneath Jake's massive form. My heart was threatening to burst from within my chest as Emmett smashed his iron fists against the underneath of Jake's belly. _No, this wasn't right. The spare should have ended as soon as Jake pinned Emmett._ He yelped in pain before growling darkly and snapping closely to Emmett's pale neck. I heard swift, concerned protests from the Cullens as Jasper firmly ordered, "That's enough!"

Emmett reared up with pitch-black eyes and attempted to wrap his fists against Jake's struggling, snapping muzzle. I took several steps forward; it was then that I noticed the wolves slowly coming forward with their intense gazing on the other six Cullens. They were planning to attack.

I sucked in a breath and screamed piercingly, _"Jake, stop right now!"_

The Cullens' attention turned to me, but the wolves did not let my voice interrupt their concentration. Sam was the only wolf whose lupine eyes flickered to glance at me. Jake and Emmett were both locked on one another- neither was giving up- but they weren't throwing deathly blows or lunging for each other's neck any longer. Jake growled and Emmett hissed back. Jasper stepped forward as if to reach for Emmett, but Sam and Paul jumped forward with swishing tails and earsplitting barks.

Rosalie hissed and began to run forward, but Edward latched on to her and demanded, "Rose, stop this. Emmett won't be harmed. Alice just had a vision moments before this happened."

Carlisle, always the peacekeeper, said, "This is plenty enough for one day. We can meet again in a few days when tensions are not so high."

My eyes locked on Esme and Carlisle's distraught expressions at the sight of their son's life being threatened by Jake. By my Jake. I gasped in sudden realization as I marched forward toward the wolves. I bypassed Alice, Edward and Rosalie while loudly saying, "Jake, get your ass off of him right now. This isn't you; the Jake I know wouldn't hurt a man for no good reason at all."

I was barely ten feet from the wolves and Emmett. I whispered, "_My_ Jake wouldn't hurt somebody without a cause. Emmett has done nothing to you, Jacob, so let him go. It's just your werewolf instinct taking over."

A long moment passed before Jake suddenly shoved his paws away from Emmett's broad chest and trotted across the field. Shortly after, Jared followed. Jake disappeared behind the brush and I knew he was phasing back to his human form. Emmett slowly got to his feet and then stalked past the rest of the wolves. They rumbled lowly as he passed and he offered a hiss in return. Just as he was within a foot from me, Rosalie shot across the short distance and threw herself into his arms. She was talking so fast that I could hardly understand her, but I caught several hissing curse words that she threw in the general direction of the wolves.

I was making my way back to my designated tree when Emmett huffed, "Your wolf is an asshole, Bella."

I stopped walking, but did not face him. I said, "No, he isn't."

Emmett laughed and said, "Yes, he is. But thanks for cracking the whip and calling the dog off of me."

I faced him with an angry frown on my face. I said, "He isn't a dog, Emmett. Just like I tell them you aren't _leeches."_

Jake stalked across the clearing in his human form. I was thoroughly distracted from Emmett by Jake's broad, bare chest. I blinked as he walked to my side with a hard expression. His hands, though, were gentle as he wrapped them around my shoulders and said, "This meeting is over. I'm done."

Across the clearing, the other wolves waited for us. Jake made sure to stay on my left side-that was the side that the Cullens were on- as we walked past them. Carlisle offered parting words, "Goodbye, Bella and Jacob. I thank you both for being so cooperative."

Jake rumbled deeply in his chest and snapped, "Thank her; it's the only reason your kid is alive."

I gasped as Jake quickly led me through the forest and away from the clearing. It was several minutes later before I had controlled my emotions enough to speak to him. "I don't appreciate what you did, Jake. I understand you lose your patience, but what you said to Carlisle was completely harsh and downright hateful."

Jake quietly stated, "That is because I do hate them, Bella. I absolutely loathe them. Even if they were human, I would still hate them. Damn it, I hate the Cullens because of what they did to you. Everything inside of me is made to protect _you_, Bella. My entire being wants to do what is best for _you._ And those monsters nearly destroyed all that I love. How do you expect me to react?"

I stumbled in shock and Jake reflexively caught me. His hands gripped my waist as I looked up at him. His dark eyes were burning intently with rage and passion. I had no words to describe the depth of the emotions that ran through me. I had no words to retaliate with because, truly, he used the one thing that excused all of his action. _Love._

"You are the most important person in my life, Bella. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe from these bloodsuckers around you even if it means pissing you off."

**Author's Note:** _As I said, thanks for reviewing and reading. Please, feel free to let me know what you think of Jake's behavior. Or of Bella's. I would love to hear it all!  
_


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note:** _Thank you for reading and reviewing. I apologize that I no longer update daily, but it really can't be helped. However, I promise I won't be one of the ones to take more than a few days to post._

The next morning I drove to school and reflected on Jake's words. The very thought of him caused my cold body to feel warm again. Knowing that he was following my truck as I pulled into the school parking lot made me feel safe and cherished. The bracelet on my left wrist was a silent statement to myself and to Jake- I was his.

I was later than normal and first period was minutes from starting while I circled the lot to find a place to park, but found none. Wondering if he had done this purposely, I reluctantly pulled my truck beside Edward's beautiful, glossy Volvo. I blankly started at him. From inside my cab, I glanced around and found that there was little to no one left outside any longer. My mind wanted to panic; the claws that had all but disappeared came roaring back. They lightly scraped their sharp points along the inside of my stomach as if they were teasing me before they went for a killing hit.

Slowly, I stepped out of the truck. Edward was barely two yards from me. He was leaning against his ostentatious car with his beautiful clothes and beautiful, ivory face. My heart sped up as I paused in mid-step. I was a frightened rabbit again; _should I run? _I wasn't sure what he was doing or why he was looking at me. I wasn't sure if this was a betrayal to Jake. I wasn't speaking to Edward, but the atmosphere between us was filled with personal tension that caused me to feel as if I was betraying Jake. Edward's piercing, golden gaze only made me feel more frazzled. He took a step forward and my breath burst from my lips. I stepped backward without consciously meaning to.

Edward halted his movements immediately and a look of unadulterated pain crossed his features. I was confused instantly. _Why was he in pain? _ His voice sounded like smooth, sweet honey as he whispered, "I have wronged you to the deepest degree. So much so, that you flee from me as if I'm the monster. I supposed I am."

I blinked without comprehending his words. His voice was a complete shock to my system as I shivered and tucked my coat closer to my body. He cocked his head to the side with hurt in his spectacular eyes as he murmured, "Words cannot express how truly sorry I am, Bella."

I frowned and mumbled, "Sorry…?"

Suddenly, the tardy bell shrilled loudly and caused my body to jerk. I ignored it and kept frowning at Edward as if he held the answers to every mystery in the world. After a prolonged moment, he gestured his ivory hand toward the school building and quietly suggested, "Perhaps we should get to our first class, Bella."

I followed several steps behind him in a daze of sorts. I spent my time, in every class, replaying my and Edward's short exchange over and over. But I couldn't remember exactly what he had said. I soaked in every expression that had crossed his lovely face and focused on those instead of his murky words. He had looked unmistakably in pain when I stepped away from him. He had looked in pain throughout the entire conversation. I had spent so many hours gazing into those familiar eyes that I knew each emotion that came to and fro; there had been hurt there_. Why?_ That was what ate away at my mind as the day progressed. _Why was he hurting? What could possibly be making him feel pain?_

I sat across from Alice at lunch as I had been doing for the last week. None of us spoke to each other, although Alice had attempted to speak to me at first. Now she softly whispered to Jasper while Edward sat beside them and stared at me. It seemed that was his newest hobby- staring at me. I tried my best to ignore his eyes throughout my day, but I never succeeded. My hands were pressed firmly against my stomach as nervous tension continued to eat me alive.

I kept switching between confusion and irritation at his never-ending staring. In class, I could catch him peeking at me from the corner of my eyes. It was in my last class when I finally plucked up enough courage to blurt, "Why do you keep looking at me?"

All around me, students chattered happily instead of doing the homework assigned, but their chatter was idle background noise to the vital moment happening right in front of me. I watched Edward's face intently as he murmured, "Who wouldn't stare at such a beautiful woman?"

His words shot through my body like bullets ripping through fragile skin. My lips parted, but no sound left my mouth. I snapped my jaw shut and quickly looked down at my hands. I clasped them together and scratchily said, "That doesn't answer my question."

I heard him let loose with a tiny sigh before quietly saying, "My staring never bothered you before."

Irritated, I looked up and stated, "Well, it does now."

Our eyes locked and he murmured, "I have wanted to apologize to you since the moment I left."

My only reply was a deep frown upon my brows. His golden eyes searched my expression for an instant before murmuring, "What I told you, before I left Forks, was a lie. I never wanted to leave you."

My eyes and mind zeroed in on his face. _I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to leave you. I have wanted to apologize._ Swallowing deeply, I continued to stare at him. I was sure I was hallucinating. This was a dream I was having and I would eventually wake to find myself in my bedroom. _Maybe I had been dreaming ever since Jake left me? Was this my mind's way of coping with the loss of both Jake and Edward?_ If it wasn't official before, surely it was now. I was crazy.

"Bella," Edward's smooth, sweet voice whispered, "I find it completely ludicrous that you believed every lie I told you that day. Do you truly believe I don't love you? That I could ever stop loving you?"

I closed my eyes and lowered my head to the desk. The chattering of students continued even after the bell rang. I jumped up as soon as it rang and picked up my bag. I walked briskly from the room, but he easily kept pace with me. He walked alongside me and explained with an edge of desperation to his voice, "I thought it was best to leave you and allow you to live a human life, Bella, but that was the stupidest decision I have ever made. I thought you would be safe without me and my family around, but you are in even more danger than you were before we left. I should have never walked away from you, Bella, I'm so sorry."

I stumbled down the stone steps of the school building. My chest was beginning to lurch and my heart was hammering in my chest. My cold fingers trembled and my lips quivered. Tears blurred my vision and I silently wiped them away while hurrying to my truck. My mind was in utter chaos and I couldn't understand any of my own frantic thoughts. _Jake._ I knew I needed him to keep me calm, but I also knew it was selfish of me to want him to calm my wrecked being over another man.

I stepped in the tight space between Edward's Volvo and my truck. My body's shuddering increased when Edward stepped in the small space as well. His eyes were filled with regret and pain as he desperately pleaded, "Bella, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do to make you believe me, but I'm willing to do anything. Just talk to me. All I wish is for you to talk this entire situation out with me."

"I-I don't know what to say." I gasped as I yanked my truck door open. I looked around frantically, but didn't see Jake anywhere. Edward's icy fingers brushed my hair from my cheek and I shivered for an entirely different reason. His touch was as cold as ice and comforting, but it was _not_ the touch I craved. A small part of me was genuinely shocked that I didn't crave Edward's touch, but Jake's. Of course, I want Jake. Not Edward. _How can any piece of you deny your love for Jake, Bella?_ _What you feel for Jacob is strong and is holding you together._

My body was frozen as if one touch from Edward had turned me frigid. He stepped closer and ran his hand over my hair again. I shivered involuntarily and felt nausea wave over me. I mumbled, "You have to leave before Jake gets here. Go."

I could see the pain slowly receding from his eyes as he questioned, "Will you speak to me later?"

"I don't know;" I answered honestly, "Now go before Jake gets here."

Edward didn't move, so I pressed one palm to his icy shoulder and heaved. My movement seemed to snap him into motion. He trapped my hand on his shoulder and rubbed his thumb along my wrist. I yanked my arm away, but I knew he could have easily held me to him with his inhuman strength. My eyes roamed over his face before I whispered, "I might talk to you if I decide hearing you out is worth it."

Two parking spots behind the Volvo, I saw Alice and Jasper walking toward us. Edward glanced at them before nodding to me and painfully murmuring, "That's more than I deserve. I thank you."

And then he and his siblings were zooming away in the shiny Volvo I had come to seriously despise.

After a prolonged moment, I climbed into the cab of my truck and cranked up the heat system. I still wasn't warm minutes later when Jake came stalking toward the truck. He opened the door and was slipping in the driver seat when I saw the change on his face. His nose wrinkled and his teeth clenched together angrily. He muttered curses until I asked, "What's wrong, Jake?"

His eyes were flat and burning black as he glared at me. A low rumble came from within his chest as he accused, "He touched you."

My eyes widened and I asked, "How did you know?"

I realized, too late, that I had spoken impulsively. Jake snarled and said, "I'll kill him."

I watched as he threw the truck in drive and peeled out of the parking lot. He pushed the old truck as fast as it would go. It took a moment before I managed to quietly say, "Jake, he didn't hurt me. Please, calm down. I need you right now, but not when you're so angry."

I could see the visible tension running through his body as he fought his wolf down. He demanded, "Tell me what happened, Bella."

I did so without hesitation, "He was just talking to me. When he got too close to me in the parking lot, I let him know he couldn't touch me."

"Talk to you?" Jake repeated forcefully between clenched teeth as he tore down the narrowed road leading through La Push, "About what? And what did he do when he touched you?"

"H-he just touched my hair…" I stammered, "And my hand."

"What in the hell did he say to you?" Jake asked hotly as he cut the roaring engine off. He kept his trembling body as far from me as he could in the small cab. I bit my lip and mumbled, "He told me he was sorry for what he's done…"

Jake laughed bitterly and swore, "I'm going to kill him."

He jumped out of the truck and slammed the door so hard that the entire vehicle rocked. I watched as Jake lunged across Emily's front yard. He was shaking so badly that he was a blurry, tanned outline. The image was eerie, but I couldn't help myself as I climbed from the passenger side and stepped out of the truck. I knew it was too dangerous to get close to him, so I stayed by the truck. Jake stepped closer to the forest and he bent over. I could see his chest heaving with the effort to control himself. He slipped his t-shirt off of his body and nudged his sneakers off of his big feet.

I called out, "Jake, stop. I'll be perfectly fine if you just come back to me."

He dropped to his knees and shook violently. It was then that Sam came walking out of the forest. He didn't look surprised to see Jake in such a terrible situation. He dropped down beside Jake's form and began talking to him in hurried whispers. As Jake's trembling slowed, I started walking across the lawn. I bent beside him on the opposite side of Sam before cupping his sweaty cheek and whispering, "I don't want you to struggle like this. Nothing Edward did today is worth you getting so worked up for."

"The son of a bitch doesn't need to speak to you," He rumbled as he bent closer to the ground. A violent tremble shot down his spine before he growled wolfishly, "He touched you, Bella."

"He won't anymore." I promised in a pleading tone, "Just calm down, Jake. I don't want to see you hurting."

Sam spoke firmly, "Bella, I want you to go inside and take a shower. Emily is in the kitchen, so she will be able to show you where everything is. The leech's scent is all over you and he can't handle it. Go now."

I nodded wordlessly and stood. I walked away and knocked softly on the front door before walking in. Emily was fluttering around the kitchen in a beautiful, green dress and brown sandals. She turned to me with a bag of flour in her hands and a big smile on her face. She greeted, "Hi, Bella. What's with the long face?"

I shakily replied, "Jake and Sam are outside. Sam says I have to take a shower because…uh, I smell like vampires."

Emily's eyes widened slightly as she set the bag of flour on counter. She gestured silently and I followed her down the hallway. She opened a door and flipped a light-switch to reveal a claw-foot tub. She pointed to the cabinet and said, "Clean towels, sponges, shampoo, and soaps are in here."

She gave a polite smile and added, "I have some clothes that are too small for me now. I'll bring them in here in a minute."

I blew out a huffy breath and stared at my face in the mirror. My eyes were red-rimmed, but I looked normal enough. I stripped out of my clothes and turned the faucets on. Within seconds, the bathroom was filled with thick, hot steam. I took my time showering and scrubbed myself twice. I shampooed my hair twice as well; I wanted to make things as easy as possible on Jake. After I was certain there couldn't possibly be any lingering scent of vampire on my body, I stepped out of the shower.

I was towel drying myself when there was a knock on the door. I listened as Jake softly said, "Bells, I want to talk to you."

I wrapped the towel around my body and cracked the door open. My uneasiness waned when I saw his handsome face. His eyes were still troubled, but his body was much more relaxed. His gaze lingered on my bare legs before he brought his eyes to mine and said, "I'm sorry I lost it."

I shook my head, but didn't speak. He reached forward and ran his large palm along the side of my head. He murmured, "You told me to tell you when I feel like I'm losing myself. This is me telling you."

Emotion rose sharply in my chest. I opened the door fully and stepped forward until I could easily place my palms on either of Jake's shoulders. I stood on the tips of my toes and said, "You aren't losing yourself, Jake. I'm right here and so are you."

He shook his head and his eyelids shut. I watched as he swallowed painfully and choked, "I can't…the wolf…he keeps taking over. All of these damn bloodsuckers…and…Bella, they want to take you from me."

I bit my bottom lip and wrapped my arms around his waist. He held me forcefully enough to the point of discomfort, but it felt good. Wonderful even. I stroked the bare skin of his back and crooned, "Nobody is taking me from you, Jake. I promise. I'm right here. I'm not worried about anybody taking me from you."

"I have to keep you safe, Bella. Don't you understand that? He touched you. Literally laid a damn finger on you and I wasn't there to stop the mother-"

I cut him off abruptly, "Jacob, listen to me. You'll keep me safe. I know you will and the only vampires you need to worry about are Victoria and her army. Forget about the Cullens; your worry over them is pointless."

"How is it pointless, Bella?" Jake asked angrily, "They have you fooled, which makes them more dangerous than the damn army behind the red-haired leech."

I stepped back from him and murmured, "What will it take for you to believe me?"

He sighed hotly and said, "I can't believe as you do about the Cullens. They're monsters, Bella. They're bloodthirsty killers and they have you so dazzled that you don't see them for what they truly are."

Irritation rose instantly and I demanded, "So I'm too stupid to see what is real? Is that what you're saying, Jake?"

I slammed the bathroom door in his face and slipped my dirty clothes back on. I opened the door and shoved past him. I could see his nose wrinkle and his eyes flare as the scent of Edward hit his nose, but I didn't care. I stalked out of Emily's house and went straight for my truck. Jake followed behind me and asked, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Home." I snapped as I climbed into the driver seat and slammed the truck door. I was backing out of the driveway as he noisily protested. "Bella, damnit. Stop the truck. _Bella_, would you stop? _Damnit._ Don't leave."

But I was gone. Anger coursed through my veins as I drove down the highway. _How dare he act as if I was too stupid to think reasonably about the Cullens?_ I had told him time and time again that the Cullens weren't like most vampires. The Cullens had shown the wolves how different they were, how much they tried to fit in to society. They drank from animals only, yet the hardcore prejudice that was gripping Billy, also gripped Jake.

When I arrived home, the house was empty. I climbed up the staircase and changed out of my stinking vampire-scented clothes into more comfortable clothing. It took a long time of lying in bed before the anger ebbed away and I was left feeling guilty. Jake was trying every day for me, and I was sure my anger hadn't helped him at all. I was debating on calling him to apologize, but knew that he was likely in the forest near my house. Keeping watch on me like he always did.

Slowly, I tip-toed out my bedroom and down the staircase. I walked out of the back door and blinked at the evening sky. The moon was rising in the midnight blue sky as I squinted at the forest. I felt ridiculous as I hesitantly called out, "Jake?"

I listened intently, but didn't hear any movement or barks. I bit my lip and called out again, "Jake, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry. Will you come out of the forest for a minute, please?"

I sighed and said, "Can you hear me? I thought you had exceptional hearing."

I was staring straight ahead and hoping a massive, russet wolf would step out of hiding. I was giving up and turning to go back inside the house when a sudden figure merely five feet from me made me yelp loudly. I stumbled and my butt plopped to the cold ground as the looming figure came closer.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward spoke anxiously, "I didn't mean to frighten you, but I heard you calling out and I thought I would let you know that Jacob isn't here."

I struggled to my feet and gasped, "What are you doing here?"

"I was under the impression that you were aware you have three guardians each night- a werewolf and two of us."

"I-I am aware," I stammered, "I meant why are you watching me? Where is Jake?"

Edward said, "There is a wolf within the forest, but it isn't your Jacob. It is another."

I blinked blankly at him while he slowly said, "I was thinking that this was a perfect time for you and I to talk. That is, if you're willing."

I mumbled, "Uh…"

He offered a sad, crooked smile and quietly said, "I deserve your hesitancy, Bella."

I wrapped my arms around myself and said, "One time. We'll talk this once."

**Author's Note:** _As always, I love reviews. If you have time, I would appreciate it. I like knowing readers' takes on everything._


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Note:** _This is an anxiously awaited conversation. Let's just say that a common question/thought from several viewers will be answered/confirmed here. Believe me when I tell you all that I need reviews/comments on this one! Thank you all and_ _**enjoy!**_

I followed Edward toward the back porch and doubted myself the entire way. We stood on opposite sides of the steps and I faced him reluctantly before we stared at one another with the night breeze whispering against our skin. I quietly ordered, "Talk."

He nodded once and ran his artistic, nimble fingers through his copper hair. He murmured, "I never thought I would have so much trouble speaking before this moment." He let out a quiet, humorless chuckle before flicking his golden gaze over my face. Eventually, he explained slowly, "I lied to you. The night of your birthday, my worst fear came true. I denied the dangers to you because I'm selfish. It took my brother attacking you and a gash on your wrist for me to realize that my family and I are nothing but a danger to your life. I left you and did it the only way that I could."

His expressionless mask melted and was replaced with regret stronger than I have ever seen on another being. He murmured, "Bella, your love for me was so powerful that I found the only weakness in you that I could. And I used it against you. I doubted my lie would work, after all the nights you and I spent together, after all of the time we shared and all the times I told you how much I love you…"

The tears silently welled and spilled over my lashes as he continued, "I'm still in complete shock to know that you believed a single word I spoke to you all those months ago. The expression on your face from that night haunts me every moment. I have to live with the knowledge that I shattered the only woman I have ever loved. It is a regret I will hold for the rest of my existence. I'm here to apologize however many times I need to. I came back to Forks to tell you what a fool I am for leaving you. For lying to you because I thought leaving was the best thing for you."

I heard every word he said, but I felt as if it was all a dream. As if I was in an alternative life that wasn't my own. Memories of the day my life broke filled up my mind and tears flowed freely and quietly. His beautiful image floated in front of my vision and my heart was beating painfully in my chest. With shaking hands, I reached up and wiped at the tears. I was sniffling and my voice was wavering as I stated, "You knew I thought you were too good for me. You _knew_ I thought I wasn't good enough."

He nodded curtly and sighed quietly before replying, "That was the only weak point, Bella. It was the only way I could see for you to truly let go of me. Any other lie wouldn't have worked and you would have figured out the real reason I left. Then, I knew, if you were aware that my love was the same, you would have never moved on with your life."

I shook my head slowly as if I had water in my ears. My voice broke painfully as I faintly said, "You used me."

His eyes widened slightly as I repeated, "You used my insecurities against me."

His eyes closed for an instant before he opened them and nodded. The tears kept sliding down my cheeks. Warm and hurtful. Thousands of memories and voices were running through my mind as I shook terribly and whispered, "Why would you do that? Why?"

"I thought it was healthier for you, Bella." Edward explained in his smooth voice, but I could hear an undercurrent of desperation, "Being with me was never good for you. We are so opposite and part of me that is predatory will always wish to harm you. I'm disgusted with that part of myself, but it is unchangeable. I left to give you a chance at a happy, healthy, human life."

"But you didn't give me a choice in the matter." My watery voice became sturdier as the anger began to course through my blood and push aside the hurt. I said, "You decided you would leave and take yourself and your family, my best friend, from me without the common courtesy of allowing me to stay in touch with Alice or tell anybody else goodbye."

His golden stare was intense and caused stabbing aches to hit my chest. I felt as if a hole was opening upon my stomach and all of the wonderful feelings I had slowly gained back were now falling away from me. He murmured, "It is one of my deepest regrets in all of my existence."

We stared at one another and my mind was completely blank. All of the images of Edward and me, of Jake and me, disappeared. I was left with an empty feeling. I ran my hands through my hair and blurted, "What do you expect me to do, Edward? What in the hell are you wanting me to do? Are expecting these words to change anything?"

His face was sad as he shook his head and murmured, "No, Bella, I don't expect you to love me anymore. I don't expect you to even care because it is more than I deserve. This chance to speak with you is more than I will ever deserve."

I felt a pang of guilt in my heart as I fisted my hands at my side and simply looked at him. He was unchanged. Flawless. Other-worldly. Perfectly inhuman. Ivory skinned. Copper haired. _Beautiful._ His shut eyelids were softly fluttering and reflected the moonlight. He turned away from me without hurry and took a step off of the porch. I was so enthralled by his smooth skin that I nearly allowed him to walk away.

"Edward, wait." My voice was rusty and my body was frozen in place. I followed his movements with my eyes as he turned to me with a golden, inquisitive gaze. My lips trembled as I mumbled, "Why are you here?"

His impeccable mask was in place again, so I couldn't read his expression. He replied, "I'm here to protect you from Victoria. I won't allow anything to end your life, Bella. That is why I'm here."

I kept watching at him and the longer I watched, the less restraint I had. I took a small breath and stated, "You have no idea what you did to me."

His eyes went from golden yellow to a dark amber as he murmured, "Have you forgotten that I can read minds, Bella? I have seen exactly what my reckless actions did to you. I live with these images every moment of every day. It is truly my own hell."

I frowned and murmured, "Whose mind did you…?"

A small, twisted smile touched his lips before disappearing. "Jacob Black's."

I was taken back as I bounced on the balls of my heels and wrapped my arms around my stomach. I had nothing to say, so I didn't speak. The seconds passed until Edward quietly asked, "Is he good to you?"

"You read his mind, didn't you?" I questioned just as quietly, "You tell me."

Edward nodded once and that same odd smile touched his lips. He asked, "Are you angry with me for reading his mind?"

There was a pause before I said, "It is an invasion of his privacy."

"That didn't answer my question." His smile turned a bit brighter. And even though that smile caused a feeling of awe to enter my mind, it still wasn't as wonderful and fulfilling as Jacob's smile. There was another awkward pause and then Edward took a step forward. The instant of joy was sucked from him as he mused, "There is one question that eats at my mind the most. I never sleep, Bella, you know that. I am awake every second of every minute of every hour of every day…and since the moment I have seen Jacob, I have constantly wondered if you are in love with him."

I tightened my arms around my stomach and whispered, "Yes, I am."

He let out a quick sound that was a mixture of a laugh and a sob. He rubbed his long fingers over his face before walking tight circles across the yard. I watched him intently and observed silently. I was completely conflicted as Edward restlessly walked and ran his hands through his messy hair. A piece of me was angry as I continued to watch. Another piece simply wanted to find Jake and cling to him so I wouldn't drown. A third piece felt sorrow because Edward was in pain. It was the third piece that I was terrified of. It was that piece that I didn't want to take over and control me.

My body was trembling with the cold breeze flowing about. Edward was mumbling, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. His movements began to pick up speed until his body was nearly blurring with the inhuman way he paced. I heard him say my name once before he halted his frustrating pace and turned to me. The regret and remorse and confliction were written in his eyes as he took a step forward. He ran his hands through his coppery hair once more before quickly saying, "I have been wondering if you loved him and now I know. I supposed that is what I deserve for what I have done to you. I earned these agonizing emotions by my own actions."

He took an unneeded breath and rambled on, "Days ago, I told myself not to meddle in your business. I lost you. _I lost you,_ so I shouldn't bother you. I knew the moment I saw you look at Jacob Black that I had truly lost you. And yet, I realize that you don't know. How is that fair? How is that evenhanded to leave you in the dark? And likely, it is for his personal gain because it is convenient for him. Although, as I have said, I lost my rights to you."

I was completely confused as I hesitantly said, "Edward…I don't know what is upsetting you, but you should calm yourself."

He glanced at me and asked, "Do you know that you love Jacob?"

I nodded in confusion and watched him yank on his hair. He let out a bizarre chuckle and made eye-contact while quietly asking, "Do you still love me?"

I was so stunned and wounded that I didn't answer him.

He nodded again and murmured, "Perhaps I should ask this a different way. Bella, when you and I were together, was our love pure?"

I didn't answer him.

He murmured, "Won't you answer me? I'm trying to explain this to you."

I didn't answer him.

We gazed at one another for a long instant before he whispered, "There were no outside forces working when we fell in love. You were an interesting attraction and I was instantly caught up in you. From the very beginning, I could never get you off of my mind, Bella. I thought of you too often and it annoyed me at first. Then, I got to know what a wonderful woman you are. Didn't you feel the same?"

He paused to wait for me to respond, but when I didn't he continued on. "Our love came from our own hearts and that is it. I love you. Even now, as I stand here, I love you, Bella. Once upon a time, you loved me just as fiercely and beautifully. Our love was pure and perfect and real."

I wiped at the tears prickling my eyes and shakily said, "I don't understand why you are saying all of this, but I think you need to leave now."

He sighed and quietly admitted, "Bella, I don't want to hurt you…"

I shook my head and whispered, "You need to leave."

"Bella, I'm trying to tell you-"

"No." I turned away from him and stumbled toward the back door of my house. The tears started falling again and they were impossible to stop. He called out loudly, "At least our love was real, Isabella."

I whirled around with hurt and anger smashing through me in tidal waves. I heatedly spit out, "What does that mean? Are you insinuating things about Jake now?"

His face was perfection and chiseled with sorrow as he stated, "That's what I have been attempting to explain to you. I have been wondering if I should tell you for the past several days because I know you are being left in the dark."

"What are you talking about? Left in the dark about what?" I demanded as my fingernails bit the wood railing of the porch.

There was tension and silence in the cool air as Edward stepped closer to the house and explained somberly, "You think that your love for the wolf is real. You have feelings for him, but they aren't substantial at all. Even now, you irrationally jump to his defense and you are filled with anger because I'm speaking negatively about him. But none of this is real, Bella. Your relationship with the wolf is completely synthetic. It is weaved together by magical forces that the Quileutes have."

I gawked at him silently for a moment before whispering, "You are insane. Absolutely insane. What is wrong with you?"

"Bella, you must listen to me." Edward spoke firmly and stated, "Jacob Black is keeping the knowledge of this magical force from you _purposely._ He is entirely aware of the magic binding him and you as one, but he refuses to speak of it with you because he knows you won't want him once you realize you are trapped."

I shook my head back and forth as I whirled around and headed for the door. Suddenly, Edward's body was in front of mine. He blocked my entrance to the door and I felt my heart begin to hammer in my chest. He looked calm, but rigid as he explained, "Bella, you are trapped by magic older than I am. Whether you realize it or not, it is the truth. I am not lying to you. I only wish you would believe me because I'm afraid that you'll waste most of your life away with this dog before you dig up the truth. I don't want that for you."

"Move out of my way, Edward." I spoke tightly as panic began to grip my chest cavity. When he continued to observe me silently, I repeated, "Move out of my way."

There was a sudden howl piercing through the night air. It sounded far away and echoed chillingly. Edward hissed in annoyance before grabbing my shoulders. I winced at the pressure as his ivory face hovered inches from mine. My heart was beating unevenly as he said, "I know you think everything you have with Jacob Black is real and true, but ask him about imprinting. Remember the word _imprinting._ Then, you will know that nothing you have had with him has been real. Nothing at all."

I watched in a daze as he swiftly and lethally flew off of the porch and into the night sky. He landed over thirty feet from me in the very top of a massive tree. For an endless moment, our eyes connected. He swayed violently with the rushing wind as he clung to a thick branch. He glanced downward at the forest floor and then disappeared in a pale blur of colors as the snapping and fierce snarling of wolves met my ears. My breath left in small gasps from between my lips as two, fearsome wolves came lurking from the dark tree line. I caught a glimpse of reddish fur and the gleam of very familiar, dark eyes.

My knees, which had been locked in place to keep me standing, gave out and I melted to the ground. I closed my eyes as Edward's words tumbled over and over again inside of my skull. They smashed and beat at my head until I was aching. I heard rustling in the brush several yards from me. Moments passed, but my mind was so chaotic that I barely heard the raging, fitful yelling coming from deep within the forest. I heard another voice, definitely male, working to calm Jake. I couldn't make out the words from either men, but I knew that the loudest, angriest voice belonged to Jacob. My body shook and the louder Jake's voice became, the worse I felt.

I didn't know what else to do besides hold myself together and cry.

**Author's Note:** _So? Give it to me! Let me hear it! I'm serious! *Grins*_


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note: ** _Thank you all for reading and reviewing. This is a long chapter that ties up a few loose ends I've yet to address, but it isn't the ending. Just tying up a few issues. Enjoy._

**Announcements:** I, for the **first** and **only **time, have pulled a direct line from the Twilight series written by Stephine Meyer. Most Twilight fans will realize where the direct line is in the story. Doesn't matter where it is at. This is just me saying IT IS HER LINE AND I'M USING IT TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING SHE CREATED. Not taking credit for the descriptive line.

**Warning:** The F-bomb is dropped. There's a few other curse words in here for any of my younger viewers.

* * *

As I sat on the damp grass while shivering from the cold night with doubts running through my mind, I stilled craved Jake's touch. There was such a large part of me that wanted to rebel against any words or thoughts of Edward Cullen, yet I was uncertain enough to wonder if he was speaking the truth. _Was my love for Jake some made up, twisted fate of voodoo magic?_ No, there was no way Jake would play with magic that way. I supposed magic was as real as supernatural creatures, although the thought had never crossed my mind until Edward's erratic speech minutes before. _Could he be telling the truth?_ He had looked so serious, so desperate, so honest.

I heard Jake's angry growling grow louder and closer, so I looked up and watched as he came tearing out of the darkness of the forest. He was tall and strong and powerful. Just the sight of him was enough to give me a bittersweet strength. I pushed to my wobbly feet and began to walk to him as he stalked across the yard. He was shirtless and his heavy muscles were trembling with controlled power. His legs were covered in sticky mud and, despite the situation, I marveled at the fact that his bare feet weren't freezing on the cold ground.

His face was covered in shadows and his eyes danced with fierce anger. Behind him, hastily following, was Quil and another wolf that wasn't in his human form. As Jake closed in on me, his bitter mask faded and was replaced with a softer emotion. He gently touched my cheeks and warmth flowed from his hands into my body at the physical connection. His hands were still trembling, but the look in his eyes had tears burning within me. My lips quivered as I choked, "I'm sorry…"

"No, baby." Jake hugged me softly and closely, "You've done nothing wrong. It's all okay. Shhh…you're stressed. You're scared. It's understandable."

I shook my head and wrapped my tiny fingers around his thick wrists. I held on tightly and said, "I wasn't going to talk to him. I came outside to talk to you and he appeared. I shouldn't have talked to him. I shouldn't have…because now…"

Jake's body stiffened and he whispered, "What are you saying?"

I held on to his wrists even tighter because, in that moment, I felt like he was floating away on a boat and I was left on the harbor with a storm raging around me. I kept looking him in the eyes even as tears swam in my vision. His face was a beautiful mixture of resistance and vulnerability. I asked a question of my own, "Where were you? Edward said you weren't guarding me."

Jake ground his teeth together and bit out, "I was running a few rounds at La Push and letting Quil watch you for a couple hours. The damn Cullens knew that Edward wasn't to be watching your house. That fucking rule was put in to place from the beginning and the bastard didn't listen. It won't happen again."

I sniffled and said, "He…he wanted to talk to me because you weren't here."

Jake body spasmed once and his eyes grew even darker as he snapped, "What did he say to you?"

I paused and thought heavily. _Did I want to tell Jake what had transpired between Edward and me? Did I really want to know the truth? Did I really want to know if Jacob was lying to me?_ Slowly, I shook my head and murmured, "He didn't tell me anything."

Jake's anger slipped by a few degrees and his voice was soothingly quiet as he asked, "Did he touch you in any way? Hurt you?"

An image of Edward's tight grip on my shoulders moments before he fled entered my mind, but I shook my head and replied, "No, he didn't touch me."

Jake looked like he wanted to ask a million more questions, but he held them at bay. He nodded and murmured, "Your skin is cold, Bella, you need to get inside the house. Let's go."

I let him put his arm around my waist and gently lead me through the back door. I hardly thought of Charlie, who was fast asleep upstairs. I glanced over my shoulder just as Jake was closing the back door and saw Quil and the other wolf disappearing into the night. Jake took my hand and quietly brought me to my bedroom. He shut the door silently and cradled my body to his chest for an instant before he set me on the bed. I murmured, "Who were you yelling at in the forest?"

Jake's voice was filled with hate as he huffed, "The other Cullen on duty and, after that, Quil was the one getting it."

"What did Quil do?" I asked as ran my hands through my tangled hair. I watched as Jake abruptly stood up from the bed and stalked to the window. He muttered, "He didn't stop that son of a bitch from contacting you."

I closed my eyes and hung my head. I wiped my clammy palms over my swollen eyes and murmured, "Did you want him to risk his life and attack a vampire that is over a hundred years old just because you didn't want that vampire speaking to me?"

Jake snorted bitterly and responded, "Yes, that's exactly what I wanted him to do. Bella, you don't see leeches as we do and that's because you aren't a wolf."

When I opened my mouth to retort, he cut me off by saying, "Please, Bella, I don't want to argue over the morality of a damn vampire right now. I have to keep you safe. That's my only goal in life right now is to keep you safe and alive. I want you happy and I know you aren't right now, but you were pretty damn close to happy before all these bloodsuckers came strolling in to Forks. As far as I'm concerned, the bloodsuckers are the reason everything is so screwed up between us right now."

I rubbed my fingers over my temples as a pounding headache began. I whispered, "I don't know, Jake. I'm so tired that I can't even think. I don't know anything expect that the Cullens aren't these terrible monsters you make them out to be. Just as you and your brothers aren't a bunch of stupid dogs like they seem to think."

He sighed heavily and came to the bedside. He softly kissed my cheek and soothed, "I don't want to argue with you, honey. Try to rest and try not to worry. I'll be right here all night to watch over you. No vampire, Cullen or otherwise, will get to you if I'm here. I promise you, Bells. I know I broke that promise twice now that Cullen has gotten to you, but that's done with. I won't leave you for a second."

As he stood and went toward the window, I sat up and quietly said, "Come lay down, Jake."

He turned with a frown on his face and hesitation in his movements. I gestured and murmured, "I hate that you sleep outside on the cold ground."

He came to the side of the bed and eased down slowly like he might break me if he plopped down quickly. His hands wrapped around my waist and his strong body slid close to mine so perfectly like two soul-mated puzzle pieces. He kissed my hair and whispered, "Hmm…I love you so much, Bella."

Ask him about the word imprinting. Then you'll know that nothing you have shared is real. Nothing at all. I discreetly wiped at my eyes before whispering, "I love you too."

The next morning I woke sluggishly. My senses came to me eventually; the first thing I heard was quiet, husky snoring- it was a sound that I would always associate with contentment. I frowned when I realized how absolutely hot I was. My body was slick with sweat. As carefully as I could, I maneuvered until I was sitting up in bed. I pulled at the damp t-shirt sticking to my body and wrinkled my nose.

I looked down at Jake. His massive body was sprawled across my small bed and he had long since kicked the blanket to the floor, so I had a wonderful view of his shirtless chest, which caused a stirring deep within my stomach. His face, though, was so youthful and peaceful when he slept, that it caused a stirring in my heart. I stood from the bed and went to the corner of my room by tip-toe. Carefully, I opened my dresser and began pulling out fresh clothes.

I glanced up and saw Jake still fast asleep. I ceased all movement and listened carefully. I couldn't hear Charlie's regular, noisy snoring. _Was he awake?_ Just then, I heard the flush of the toilet and the sound of beating water from the shower-head. I huffed and mentally debated with myself. _Should I Change in my bedroom and or in the hallway and hope Charlie doesn't walk out of the bathroom and see me?_ Hastily, I peeled the sweaty shirt and sweat pants off. I slipped a fresh pair of pants on and swiftly slipped the shirt over my head. I nearly fell over once I popped the shirt over my head and noticed Jake staring at me with wide, round eyes. A strangled sound left my throat and my body flushed in embarrassment instantly.

Jake seemed to snap out of his daze and then squeezed his eyes shut tightly. His voice was scratchy and heavy as he sheepishly apologized, "Charlie being in the bathroom woke me up. I didn't feel you beside me, so I was looking for you. I'm sorry, Bells."

I was blushing so deeply that I felt dizzy. I stuttered, "Um, uh, it's…okay."

"Um," He sounded strange as he asked, "Can I open my eyes now?"

I mumbled, "Sure."

Because I was too self-conscious to look at him, I turned away and began combing my fingers through my long hair. I was just pulling it up with a rubber band when I felt Jake's warmth behind me. He kissed the top of my head and began to rub my shoulders. I winced as his touch brought an oddly painful ache. He immediately yanked his fingers away and quickly asked, "Did I hurt you? I'm not using any of my strength at all."

I frowned deeply and experimentally moved my shoulders in a circular motion, which caused more jagged pains to shoot through my body. I winced again as Jake questioned, "Bells? Did you hurt yourself somehow?"

I turned to him and offered a smile. I said, "I must have fallen or…something."

He was frowning and searching my face. I knew I wasn't wonderful at lying, so I hastily had to advert my eyes from his. Jake slowly asked, "What really happened, Bella? You're a terrible lair."

I sighed and whispered, "It's nothing, Jake. Drop it. I slept in an odd position and that's all."

I turned away from him and opened my bedroom door. I jogged down the staircase and went straight to the kitchen. I began to prepare breakfast in hopes that Jake would be distracted and stop pestering me. Images of Edward's icy fingers gripping my shoulders flew through my mind as I began to whisk raw eggs in a bowl. I knew that his fingers had likely caused the ache. I wondered if I had bruises. _Surely Jake would have seen bruises on my shoulders since he had just seen me basically naked?_ I felt Jake more than heard him as he entered the room. When I glanced over my shoulder, I found him sitting at the kitchen table and watching me intently. Under normal circumstances, my heart would flutter and a stirring would hit my stomach, but this wasn't a normal situation.

I wondered why he was so set on finding out why my shoulders were hurting. _Did he have a clue that Edward was the cause of the physical pain?_ I heard Charlie's heavy footsteps from upstairs and assumed he would venture to the kitchen once he smelled the food. I set a skillet to heat on the stovetop and was just pouring the eggs in when Jake murmured, "Why are you hiding things from me, Bells?"

My grip on the bowl tightened and something inside of my snapped. I sharply replied, "I wouldn't be the only one hiding something, would I?"

There was a short pause and then I heard the chair legs scrape across the floor. His steps were silent, but seconds later he was beside me and softly pulling the bowl out of my hands. He set it down on the countertop as I let my palms drop flatly to my side. I closed my eyes, sighed and muttered, "I told myself I wasn't going to say that."

"I don't know why you're acting like this," He quietly said, "But if it is because of what happened upstairs, I'm sorry. I should have looked away from you the moment that I realized you were changing your clothes. It was stupid and immature of me. Probably creepy too, I guess."

I felt my cheeks heat up as I mumbled, "I don't care about that…" I took a slow breath, released it and mumbled, "And it wasn't creepy. You're my _boyfriend."_

I stared intently at the skillet of eggs and scrambled them while I continued to blush heavily. I couldn't explain to him the way he made me feel when he had looked at me in that moment. There had been, and still was, acute embarrassment. But underneath that emotion, there had been that odd stirring in my stomach- the one that didn't make any sense to me.

Jake's arm slipped around my waist and the rigid stance of my body relaxed instantly. He was so close to me that our hips were touching. I worked silently for a minute before he quietly murmured, "You know, you have never labeled me as that until now."

I paused, but didn't know what else to say. _Had I honestly not called him or introduced him as my boyfriend before? _I wasn't sure. He whispered, "Would it be completely cheesy to tell you that my heart skipped a beat when you called me your boyfriend?"

I smiled softly and murmured, "Well, you've never called me your girlfriend before."

"Yes, I have."

I was surprised as I asked, "To who?"

He answered seriously, "My dad. To the pack. To Emily. Those bloodsuckers."

"When did you throw into conversation that I was your girlfriend with the Cullens?" I nearly laughed as I asked, "During battle training?"

Jake shrugged and said, "The clan leader met up with Sam a couple weeks ago and the topic of you was brought up at one point. He asked what your relationship with the La Push Pack was. Sam was thinking of a response, but I beat him to the punch and told him you were my girlfriend. Although, I may have used stronger words than what I'm telling you."

"You?" I muttered drily, "Using strong words? No way."

He chuckled and ran one finger over my cheek. I swatted his hands away and ordered, "Go sit at the table if you want food."

After making him a heaping helping, I sat beside him. I wasn't hungry because I was too edgy and I knew food would only lie heavily on my jittery stomach. He was halfway down with his food when I murmured, "I have to ask you an important question…"

Jake looked up from his plate. Slowly, he set down his fork as I said, "I need you to be honest with me, Jacob. Promise me that you'll be honest."

"I promise." He answered solemnly.

"Part of me doesn't even want to ask this because I'm so terrified of the answer." My voice wavered as I spoke, "But if I never ask, then I'll spend the rest of my time wondering and questioning every single thing between us."

Jake's expression was one of intense anxiety as he murmured, "Bella…"

I put my hand up and whispered, "Let me talk, Jake, please."

Then I took a calming breath and asked, "Jake, what is imprinting?"

I watched as his face went lax, only to be replaced with deep, clashing emotions. Worry. Panic. Pain. Confusion. More panic. He swallowed thickly and shakily asked, "Who did you hear that term from?"

I shook my head and whispered, "Answer my question, Jacob. Have you done this to me? This imprint magic? Is it real?"

He opened his mouth, closed it and then sighed. His body was trembling slightly as he mentally struggled. His eyes flickered all over the room, but they also focused back on my face after a few moments. Finally, after what felt like years, his expression turned to determination. Somberly, he said, "Yes, it is very real."

My eyes filled with tears, but I didn't allow them to spill. I spoke in a wobbly voice, "Did you use this…magic on me?"

He shook his head and his voice was strained as he answered, "That isn't how it is done. I can't use magic on you, Bella. It isn't like a magician. This isn't about spells or potions or voodoo. It's the same magic that is inside of me. It's inside of every wolf. I'm a Protector, Bella. That is magic."

I listened intently to his words, but they explained nothing. I asked, "What is imprinting? It's magic, right?"

Jake nodded curtly and whispered roughly, "Yeah, it's magic too."

Fear began to slither through me as I repeated, "Jake, what is imprinting?"

"It's the way…it's…" He covered his face with his hands, but he wasn't swift enough to hide the sheen of tears in his dark eyes. He blurted, "It's the way that a wolf finds his soul mate."

My bottom lip trembled and my hands shook. Edward's words were etched into my mind. _Magical forces that the Quileutes have. He is entirely aware of the magic binding him and you as one._ I let out a shaky breath as Jake scrapped his hands across his face. He looked at me as I asked quietly, "Did this happen to us? The imprinting?"

We gazed at one another with only a small, wooden table separating us. Suddenly, though, it felt like an ocean keeping us apart. He nodded slowly and murmured, "It did."

I inhaled unsteadily and asked, "How? When?"

"Bells…" Jake shut his eyes and whispered, "I don't think I can put into words how the imprint occurs. It isn't a feeling anybody but another wolf would fully comprehend."

My breathing was become uneven as I put my hands in my hair and held my head. I asked sharply, "So everything is fake? All of it? My own feelings? Yours?"

Pure horror crossed his face before he jumped up and came to kneel beside my chair. He whispered quickly, "No, Bella. _Jesus._ How in the hell could you think that? No, baby, what we feel is completely real. I love you. Listen to me. I imprinted on you after I transformed. An imprint only enhances what I already feel for you. You were my entire world long before I imprinted on you."

I shook my head and whispered, "I don't understand…Jake, what is it? Why didn't you tell me? How do I know what's real if you avoided telling me such a huge thing? I don't understand."

He cupped my face and softly demanded, "Look at me, Bells. Look me in the eyes, so you can see how real my love for you is. I need you to see it."

I took a shuddering breath and blinked back tears. His face was barely an inch from my own as he explained in a very gentle voice, "It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like... gravity moves. Suddenly, it's not the earth holding you here anymore; she does. You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector…or a lover…or a friend."

He leaned in even closer and softly touched his lips to mine before murmuring, "That's what I feel for you, Bella. It isn't fake. There isn't anything in this world more real than my love for you, Bella Swan. Loving you is as easy as breathing. I felt this way before I transformed, before I ever imprinted. This supernatural magic only confirms what I already knew."

My heart thumped strongly in my chest as if to tell me that he was right. He had put my feelings into perfect words. He had explained what I had been trying to understand about myself for months. My emotions for him were more complex than any other experience in my life, and his words only cemented what I already knew deep within myself. I knew now- as my head cleared of doubtful thoughts- that I had been played by Edward Cullen. He had tried to get inside of my head and twist the truth, but I was too overwhelmed to feel angry toward him. And I didn't want anger to ruin the beautiful feeling coursing through the small space between Jake and me. So I pressed my lips to his with a watery laugh. He chuckled and whispered, "Are we okay?"

I nodded and leaned forward in my chair until I was tugged neatly against Jake's chest. He held me close while kneeling beside the chair and we didn't break apart until Charlie walked through the kitchen archway and cleared his throat loudly. Both of us yanked away swiftly and Jake jumped to his feet. Charlie stood in the doorway with red cheeks and wide eyes. I stuttered, "Uh…Uh…D-Dad."

In return, Charlie stuttered just as much as I did. We both gawked at each other until Jake scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat. He said, "Um, good morning, Charlie."

Charlie blurted, "Are you two…er, dating?"

I glanced at Jake and then stared at my father stupidly. When I didn't answer, Jake answered for me. "Yes sir. We were trying to figure out how to tell you. Bells didn't think it was good timing yet."

Charlie sighed heavily and I felt fearful as I watched his face turn an even deeper shade of red. I wondered if it was possible for him to have a heart attack over the stress of finding Jake and me in the kitchen wrapped around one another in a kind of inappropriate way. Charlie muttered, "There is no such thing as good timing when you find out your teenage daughter is interested in a teenage boy."

Jake gave a nervous chuckle and glanced at me. I blinked rapidly and mumbled, "Um, yeah…Dad…uh, there's breakfast on the stove for you."

He nodded slowly and shuffled across the kitchen without looking at Jake or me again. We both watched him pour a mug of coffee before mortification allowed my frozen body to move. I stood up, took Jake's hand and awkwardly said, "Um, Dad, we're going to leave now."

Charlie turned and eyed us intently. "Where are you two going?"

"Jake's house." I answered easily.

Charlie asked, "Will Billy be there or will you two be alone?"

My eyes widened and I squeaked, "I don't know. It doesn't matter, Dad."

"It most definitely matters now." Charlie pointed his fork at Jake and with complete seriousness, he said, "No sex. I swear I will shoot you, Jake."

My fingers squeezed around Jake's tightly and a high-pitched sound left my mouth. My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. I yanked on Jake's hand and tore out of the kitchen as fast as possible. The entire ride to La Push, my cheeks was coated with a violent blush. Out of the corner of my eyes, though, I saw Jake trying to hide a big grin.

As he pulled into his driveway, he asked, "Do you think Charlie would really shoot me if we…?"

I squeaked again and mumbled, "Good God, I hope not."

He laughed in delight suddenly and the sound was so sunny, so beautiful, that I couldn't keep myself from not smiling softly as I listened to the sound of my personal music.

* * *

**AN:** _I felt like I needed to show that despite all of these monumental, serious problems...Bella and Jake ARE teenagers. They still have teen issues like embarrassing moments, awkward situations with fathers, kinda awkward sexual tension, and curious/innocent feelings when concerning desire. Also, I'd appreciate reviews on this one...I'm feeling discouraged about the story. Either way, I'm glad you read._


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note:** _Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Hope you enjoy this;) __Reviews __would be wonderful because I am __SO curious__ to hear what you have to say._

**Warning:** _F-Bomb. Other curse words._

**Apology:** _There shouldn't be too many errors, but I didn't proof read this one. I'm sorry, but it's one in the morning over here and I've been babysitting for half the night._

* * *

The monotonous school week had begun once again after a long, content weekend in La Push with Jake. I constantly found myself sitting in classes and looking forward to the day I no longer had to walk through the hallways of Forks High School. But the more I thought of it, the more I wondered what I was going to do once high school was over. I had lost any chances of a scholarship when my GPA dropped after Edward and the Cullens left. For a short period of time- when I first started hanging out with Jake- my grades soared upward. Once Jake phased, my grades started going downhill again.

Because of this, I knew I had no chance of going to an Ivy League school. I had a small amount of money saved up for college, but it would hardly pay tuition for a year at the majority of most colleges. The moment I moved to Forks, I thought U-Dub in Seattle was a perfect college for me to attend. But now, I doubted they would accept me with my GPA dropping so low. I had given up that idea fairly quickly.

I began to wonder about going to a community college. Time was running out- I had about five weeks of school left- and teachers were hounding me on applying for a school. As I walked to my truck at the end of my school day, I stared blankly at the thick stack of college applications and information packets in my hands. I had spent the last hour in the counselor's office- he had called Charlie to inform him that he and I needed to research and fill out all of these papers.

With a huff, I unlocked my truck door and tossed the packets on the floorboard. I set my backpack on top of the papers and climbed into the cab. I knew Jake would be along within a couple of minutes, so I shut my eyes and leaned my feverish forehead on the cold, slick passenger-side window. I had woken at the break of dawn with a sore throat the night before and the terrible night I had spoken to Edward was likely the cause for my sudden cold. I had a pounding headache and my ears felt as if they were stuffed with cotton.

I glanced out the window and watched as Alice, Jasper and Edward climbed into their vehicle and pulled out of the lot beside my truck. They zoomed away quickly just as Jake came walking out of the forest and across the road. It was drizzling, so I had to squint to watch him walk to me. I was acutely aware of my heart thudding in my chest as I took in his form. He reminded me of strength every time I looked at him. He was powerful and somewhat primitive, but he was also beautiful and heartfelt.

"Hey, honey." He slipped into the driver seat and looked at me. He offered a half-smile and asked in a rather tired voice, "How as your day?"

I shrugged one shoulder and croaked, "It wasn't really great."

His dark brows rose and his eyes filled with concern. "Are you sick, baby?"

I nodded and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear before whispering scratchily, "I think it was from the other night. I wasn't wearing a jacket outside."

Jake sighed hotly, but didn't speak on the subject. He drove in silence and I knew it was because he didn't want to upset me by broaching the subject of that night with Edward. Our weekend had been stress free after the argument we had. We didn't talk about vampires or wolves or armies or death. We didn't talk about past relationships or uneasy alliances. Instead, we lounged around in the garage while he worked on his car. We walked on the beach late on Saturday night and held each other on his tiny couch until we both fell asleep.

The peacefulness was what I missed most about Jake. It was impossible to feel peaceful with him in our current state. A part of him that I had fallen in love with was hidden deeply inside of himself. The majority of his sunniness was being consumed by the dominant anger of his wolf instincts; I could only hope those characteristics would dissipate after Forks was absent of vampires. Logic told me that Jake was so jittery and thrown off balance because of his mortal enemies. Because of the threat to him and the ones he loved. I felt guilty, as if it was completely my fault that all of this had been brought in Jake's life. And I was right- it was my entire fault.

I was the reason that Jake, Quil and Embry were wolves; their transformation wouldn't have been triggered had the Cullens and Victoria not came back to Forks. And there reason for returning to Forks was because of me. Just me. The wolves were going to war, to battle, because of me. The Cullens were going to battle too- because of me. Jake was stressed- because of me. He, Quil, and Embry were high school dropouts- because of me.

Jake and I were both quiet as he parked the truck and shut the engine off. We both slipped out of the cab and walked side-by-side to the back part of Emily's yard, where five massive wolves waited within the shadowy edges of the trees.

I was intensely aware of how slow my pace was as Jake and I marched through the woods. I stumbled entirely too often, but Jake kept a close watch on me and easily lifted me over or maneuvered me around debris. By the time we reached the creek bed, which was the common meeting ground now, I was exhausted and lightheaded. Jake must have sensed my illness, because he didn't go straight across the field with his pack. Instead, he brought me to the massive tree I always sat under during their training time. He crouched down, touched my cheek with the tips of his fingers and whispered, "Your skin is warmer than normal. I think you've got a fever, honey."

I shrugged and mumbled, "I'll be fine."

He sighed quietly and said, "I'm going to try to hurry it up, so I can get you out of the cold air."

He leaned forward, kissed the tip of my nose and offered a tender smile. He asked, "Would it be easier if I carried you back to the truck once we are finished here?"

"Um…" I mumbled in embarrassment, "I know I'm slow, but I'm not incapable, Jake."

"But you're sick-" Jake was cut off abruptly by a low growl coming from several yards away- Sam's wolf was glaring openly at Jake and me with lupine eyes. Jake straightened up and briskly walked to his pack-brothers' side. The rough bark of the tree trunk caused an ache to start along my lower back, but I tuned the discomfort out as I watched the wolves and Cullens pair off.

I listened to Jasper's instructions vaguely, but mostly I watched the expressions and movements of everyone. I was constantly nervous about the opposing teams. I knew the alliance was extremely shaky and that a fraction of a second could be the cause of an all-out war between the wolves and Cullens.

As the time passed, the sun began to set. The sky turned a dark gray and was just fading to a darker shade when Jasper called for a last spar between all of the pairs. He was voicing constructive criticism toward Carlisle and a dark brown wolf, who I thought to be Quil, although I couldn't be positive on his wolf's color. I was focusing on the wolf's movement and trying to decide if that wolf truly was Quil, when an enraged, high-pitched hiss sent chills down my back.

My body jerked in fright as I whipped my head toward the left. There, barely fifteen feet from the majority of the other groups, was Rosalie and Jake. Rosalie's beautiful, flowing blonde hair had been ripped out of its perfect style and was now getting tangled in the dirt. Her pale body was a blur of colors as she struggled, kicked, punched, and shoved at Jake's massive chest. He was in his wolf form, so he was triple the size of usual big stature. Rosalie looked like a fragile doll underneath his enormous bulk, but I knew she wasn't. My heart was racing as I stumbled to my feet and held my breath while staring at the scene unfolding before me. I was powerless. Once again, I was powerf

Jake's muzzle was gleaming with saliva and the sharp points of his canines were visible for all to see. Echoing snarls were ripping from deep within his thick throat as he held his weight on Rosalie's chest with his heavy paws. His claws were shredding at her shirt while she struggled violently and screamed in fury. Emmett was fiercely angry now as well- he was being held back by Edward, Jasper and Carlisle.

"Get off of me, you disgusting mutt!" Rosalie screeched, _"Get the hell off of me!_ I'm going to snap your damn neck, you stupid dog!"

Carlisle spoke loudly over the snarls and growls coming from every direction of the field. "Please, Jacob, back off of her. She will stop struggling now and you can both step away from one another. There is no need to harm each other. We are on the same side. We want the same thing."

Jake's eyes never moved from the vampire underneath him. And Rosalie didn't halt her fierce struggles. She screeched, "Get off of me!"

Abruptly, after an ear-splitting bark from Sam, Jake jumped away from Rose and stalked toward his brothers. His chest was heaving and I saw shallow slices across his chest. My heart clutched when I saw that he was wounded. Emmett broke away from his brothers and father and went to his wife's side. She stood up and took the jacket that Emmett offered from his own back. She wrapped herself up with jerky, angry movements before whipping around. Jake changed back to his human wolf while being concealed by his brother's bulky, furry bodies.

His eyes were flat black and his movements were just as abrupt as Rosalie's when he began stalking across the field in my direction. He had a bitter, smug smile on his face as he walked. Rosalie whirled around and hissed dangerously, "I'm sure you will be smirking when you lose your precious human girl to my brother."

I watched the emotions surge forward on Jake's face as he stopped walking as if he had ran into an invisible wall. Our eyes met for a moment and I shook my head slightly and whispered, "Come here, Jake. Don't listen."

"Think about it, mutt." Rose tossed her hair over her shoulder and sneered, "What do you have to offer to her? Nothing at all."

Jake's body was shaking with barely controlled anger as he stepped closer to me. I watched as one wolf's body contorted until a very naked Quil stood up. He snarled and exclaimed, "Shut your filthy mouth, you blonde bitch! How dare you!"

Emmett snarled deeply and whirled to face the pack of wolves. I watched in horrified amazement as Quil transformed back to a wolf in less than a second. All five wolves shifted in sync and lowered themselves to the ground as if they were bullets about to be shot from the barrel of a gun.

Carlisle put his hand to Emmett's broad chest and stated, "None of this is necessary. Please, let us all just walk away for tonight without injury or death."

Jake snorted and walked closer to the Cullens. He shook his head and said, "Sorry, but I'm done. This alliance is shit and we all know it. You expect us," He gestured to his brothers and himself as he explained, "…to follow all of _your_ guidelines to keep the peace and yet your own children don't follow _ours."_

Jake faced Rosalie and heatedly said, "Bella is none of your concern, leech. As for what I can give her, it is more than your bastard brother ever could. Creatures like you suck the life out of every good and live being. The thought of your kind being good for Bella would be laughable if I wasn't so disgusted by it." Jake glared openly at Edward and snarled piercingly into the night.

Edward's face was expressionless, but I could see a flicker of amusement in his eyes as he asked, "Then, why do you lie to her? If you are so much better than me, better than _us,_ why would you keep secrets from her?"

I took a step forward and pleaded, "Jake, let's just leave, pl-"

Jake's rueful snarl echoed across the field and I watched in increasing fear as his top lip curled upward. His thick hands were fisted at his sides and his naked biceps trembled within untapped power as he harshly said, _"You_ were the one who ran your damn mouth about things you don't understand. I _knew_ it. You manipulating, scheming son of a bitch! I've had enough of you!"

Jake lunged forward and I gasped as Sam's massive wolf form lunged at the same time and blocked Jake's path. He growled, "I'll tell you once and that's it. This is your only warning, asswipe. If you talk to her, if you look at her, if you so much as _think_ about her, I'll rip out your throat and burn you to ash while your family has to watch. Do not, for a single instant, underestimate the power of me and my brothers."

He turned around and briskly made his way to me. His entire being was furious; I could tell by the look in his dark eyes. I didn't protest when he scooped me up as if I weighed as much as a feather. I pressed my cheek to his chest and locked my hands around the small of his back as he disappeared deep within the forest. Darkness was setting and I hoped that the Cullens would simply go home and cease to add to the building tension.

I lost track of time and gave up trying to figure out what part of the forest we were in- it was pitch black. Eventually, though, Jake gently set me inside the cab of my truck and drove me home. Charlie's police cruiser was in the driveway and he had left the porch light on for me. Jake kissed me softly as he led me to the front door. He kissed my lips softly and briefly before murmuring, "Whatever he told you is all bullshit, Bella. There is nobody in this world who can understand us besides me and you. Now, get some rest and I'll slip in through your window once dawn hits."

My voice was hoarse and barely a thread of a whisper as I asked, "Why are you staying in the forest instead of sleeping with me like you did the other night?"

"The Cullens likely won't be showing up tonight, so I'll have to run extra laps around your perimeter. Don't worry about it, honey, go to bed."

I held tightly to his hand when he tried to turn and walk away. He turned back to me and raised his dark brows. He cupped my cheeks and whispered, "What is it, baby? Tell me."

I hesitated before murmuring, "I sleep better…when you're next to me…because then I know you're safe."

He hummed lowly before pressing his forehead to mine. He brushed his lips against the tip of my nose, against my cheek and the corner of my mouth. The now familiar stirring in my stomach fluttered to life again. I exhaled airily and gripped his wrists because I felt lightheaded. He pressed his lips to mine once, twice. A third time. And then he murmured, "I'll be lying beside you within a few hours. I promise."

* * *

I found it nearly impossible to sleep that night. I continuously tossed and turned in bed. I felt so hot and feverish that I began to sweat. I stripped off my sweatpants and shirt and opted for shorts and a tank-top. At three in the morning, I went to the medicine cabinet and took painkillers. The ache in my upper back and shoulders was becoming more pronounced, so I tip-toed downstairs and to the kitchen. After forming a makeshift icepack, I went to bed and lay on my stomach with the icepack on my shoulder blades.

At some point, a shift on my mattress brought me from my feverish sleep. I blinked rapidly and glanced at the open window. Faint, gray light poured through it along with a light breeze. Jake was hovering above me with a concerned expression. He murmured, "You're fever is breaking. You're sweating so badly, honey…"

I croaked, "S-Sorry…"

He let out a soft chuckled and whispered, "I don't think you should go to school today, baby."

I shook my head and muttered roughly, "I have to. What time is it?"

Jake stared at me for a long moment before sighing and saying, "It is half past six."

I groaned lowly and sat up. My back was aching double the amount that it had been hours before. Somehow, in my sleep, I had ended up with all of my weight on my back and that had only proven to increase the pain. I was so lightheaded, but I knew if Jake realized how sick I truly was, then he would persist on me staying at home. I stood on wobbly legs and walked across the bedroom. I was sluggishly pulling fresh clothes out of my dresser when Jake's shadow came from behind me.

His voice was soft, but the tone was pitched to the point that he sounded utterly dangerous. "Where did these bruises come from, Bella?"

I felt my shirt flutter to the floor as I croaked, "I didn't know I had bruises."

His voice still held that low, dangerous pitch as he said, "Don't lie to me, Bella."

"I'm not lying," I slowly answered as I closed my eyes. When Jake didn't speak, I elaborated, "I suspected I might have a bruise, but I hadn't actually checked."

"A bruise?" Jake growled lowly, "This is more than a bruise, Bella. This is a damn nightmare. You're shoulders are covered in purple splotches. Fucking fingerprint splotches, Bella."

I faced him cautiously and watched as he trembled. I realized the very moment that his clouded thoughts became clear. His body spasmed once. Very hard. His lip curled and he harshly whispered, "I'm going to rip his body apart."

And then he lunged toward the window with dizzying speed and jumped to the ground. I stumbled to the window and hissed loudly, "Jake, stop this right now!"

But he was gone.

My heart was racing in my chest as I frantically threw on a clean shirt and jeans. I rushed down the stairs so fast that I nearly tumbled. I slipped my shoes on, yanked my keys off of the kitchen table and flew out of the house. I drove as fast and as recklessly as my old truck could go, but I still knew that I wouldn't make it to Forks High School in time. Jake was a werewolf. He was powerful and magically and strong. So damn strong. So damn fast.

And Edward. He would kill Jake. Given the chance, either of them would kill each other. Tears filled my eyes and I hastily wiped them away while pushing my foot heavily on the accelerator. I beat my palms on the steering wheel as I sped down the highway. I glanced at the radio clock and saw that the school bell had rang nearly three minutes before. _Would Edward be in the building? If so, Jake couldn't get to him. But where would Jake be? Hidden in the forest somewhere and waiting for a chance to strike?_ I was confident that if Edward was in a classroom, I would be able to track through the lesser parts of the forest. I knew Jake would be distracted from his fury if I was lost in the forest. He always tried protecting me. He was my Protector, so he would come to my aid. I knew it. _But what if Edward wasn't inside the building?_

As I pulled into the parking lot, my heart sank. Edward was standing near the front of his shiny Volvo with an alert expression and a tensed body position. Jake was striding across the lot and his swift pace was eating up the feet between him and Edward entirely too fast. I hopped out of the truck without even turning the engine off. I stumbled forward and desperately said, "Edward, run."

Jake didn't spare me a glance as he lunged at Edward. My heart jumped up my throat and I had to slap my hands over my mouth to muffle the horrible scream that tried to escape. Edward stayed as still as a statue as Jake latched onto the labels of his coat and brutally smashed his lean, pale body into the side of the Volvo. The window's glass cracked and shattered. I stepped closer and nearly fell. My entire body was quivering with fear. I was hyperventilating and it took all of my energy just took keep breathing. I had never been so absolutely terrified in my life. This was worse than when James attempted to kill me. Worse than Victoria. Worse than when Edward left me.

Jake snarled in Edward's face, "Why were you standing in the parking lot by yourself, leech? Were you waiting for her? Think you were gonna have a private talk, you bastard?"

I sucked in a breath and sobbingly begged, "Jake, stop. Oh, God, please."

Jake didn't look at me, but continued to glare and bare his teeth at Edward as he ordered, "Stay back, Bella."

Jake's hold on Edward must have weakened because Edward moved so quickly that my human eyes couldn't keep up with him. One moment Jake was pressing Edward against the car and the next moment, Edward had slammed both palms against Jake's chest. A muted, hoarse scream tore up my throat as Jake stumbled backward. Both men lunged at one another and a horrid cracking sound echoed across the parking lot.

I watched as I wrapped on hand around my stomach and the other took root by holding on to my hair. I felt as if I would pass out at any moment. Black spots dotted my vision and I felt vomit rising in my throat as the blurs moved in front of me. One tanned. The other pale. Dark and light. Light and dark. Hissing and snarling. There was an instant where Jake got the upper hand and shoved Edward against the car. He held Edward in place and crushed his jaw beneath Jake's fist.

My heartbeat dropped and in the next instant, my heart stopped as Edward hissed. I watched in horror as the spider-web cracks across his jaw healed themselves. His pale hand was a blur of lethal power as he swiped out. His fingernails, sharp as metal, slashed across Jake's jaw. Blood poured from the wound. Blackness threatened to take me under.

I wondered who would kill who. Would I lose Jake? In the school parking lot with hundreds of people less than one hundred yards from me, would Jake die? How had my life gotten to this point? I sobbed, "Stop it. Stop it now. Don't take him from me."

My lips trembled as the tears streamed down my cheeks. I choked, "Edward, please, stop fighting and leave. Please."

My sobs were wrecking my small body so forcefully that I gagged. The fighting continued until, quite literally out of nowhere, Alice and Jasper were beside me. Alice's voice was shrill and sharp as she ordered, "Edward, stop moving now."

I inhaled and glanced at Alice. Her expression was fierce as she ordered, "Jake, you will both die if you don't cease this fight. I've seen it. I've had the vision."

I gasped and pleaded desperately, "Jake, please. Stop it. Come back to me. We'll go home. We'll go to La Push. I'll do anything if you just stop this."

Both men were struggling against one another. They were no longer throwing punches or lethal jabs. Both were holding onto each other with a vibrating death lock.

Edward hissed, "She loved me. Your hostility won't change that fact. Killing me won't erase that from your mind like you so wish it would. And what terrifies you as much as the thought of her death, is the thought that her love for me might still exist. I'm in your mind, Jacob, or have you forgotten what gift I have been given? I know you more than you think I do. And I know this, I will fight for her as long as there is even the smallest of chances that I can have what I once had before. Let that rest on your mind, you filthy mutt."

A tidal wave of emotions coursed through my body. Terror, relief, anger, hurt, love, hate, denial, exhaustion. Jake's face was a bitter mask of torture and his body was shaking with ferocity. I knew now what Jake's deepest fear was. And that fear caused my heart the largest amount of sorrow it had ever felt. Jake was breathing violently as he snarled lowly and picked Edward's body up with one smooth, lightning-fast move. For a half of a second, Edward's body dangled in mid-air. Then, Jake slung him as if he would a baseball. I watched while swaying as Edward's body tumbled through the trees of the forest some fifty feet from us.

Alice and Jasper darted after him, which left Jake and I alone in the lot. Jake's bare face, chest and arms were bloody as he faced me. He was quivering and his eyes were overwhelmingly full of anger and hurt and love and hate. He swallowed deeply and said, "I've made my point. Bella, I need you in La Push.

I nodded and tried to calm my gasping, sobbing breaths. I opened my mouth to tell him I'd go wherever he needed me to, but he shook his head and painfully begged, "Bella, I'm going insane. My wolf is trying to tear me apart from the inside right now. I love you. My God, I love you more than anything in this entire world and I need you to listen to me. I need you in La Push from now until all of this is over. I have to protect you."

I trembled as I wobbly made my way to the truck. I climbed into the cab and whispered, "Okay, Jake.

He was shaking just as badly as I was as he drove the truck off of the lot.

* * *

**AN:** _As I said, I love hearing your thoughts. Sorry for any errors:( Feel free to let me know if you find any! And ignore the extra line under this- it doesn't make sense and I can't figure out how to get rid of it._


	25. Chapter 25

_**AN:**__ I'm __SO SORRY__ that it has been eight days since I posted. I'm very busy and it really can't be helped. This is a short chapter that I find rather…disappointing- it just doesn't sit well with me. __Definitely__ could have been written better, but I'm gearing up and saving energy for the battle coming up!_

* * *

Something changed after that day. It took the reality of Jake's insecurities reaching me to see what my hesitation had done to him. After we left school, I spent the entire day- and every day after school- in La Push. I spent over an hour mending Jake's shallow cuts while he simply held my body against his own and breathed in my scent. I eased his uncertainties, which I had been completely unaware that he harbored inside. _I love you, Jake. And only you. Edward won't have me back. Now not and not ever. I love you. I love you, Jacob Black. _

The fight between Edward and Jake altered me. It was as if a thin layer of grim had been wiped away from my eyes and finally, I could see with clarity. It didn't matter how much I once loved Edward Cullen. It didn't matter if I would always hold a certain amount of pain for the loss of my first love- that love had been replaced with something beyond anything I had ever felt before. It no longer mattered if there was ancient, Native American magic at work.

What mattered now were the feelings I had inside of my soul for Jacob. And no one, not even Edward Cullen, would muddle my mind and convince me that what my heart felt wasn't real. I believed Jake, whole-heartedly, when he explained what imprinting was. I believed that it was only a reminder of what we already had together before he transformed. When I had time to think about the conversations Edward and I had had over the last several weeks, I could decipher all of the ways he had tried to manipulate me. All the ways he attempted to twist Jake's motivates and make Jake's ways seem dark.

But what Edward hadn't contemplated when he was scheming against Jake was the possibility that I would see him in a different light. I spent numerous hours over the next few nights just lying in my bed and replaying my relationship with Edward. There were so many situations where I allowed him to influence me. Control me. Possess me. He influenced what I wore, what I said, what I did, who I talked to. He influenced my thoughts and every decision I made. If Edward wanted me to do something, I would do so with very little hesitation.

I didn't see that then, but I saw it now.

When I left Forks and abandoned my father, it was all Edward's doing. He made me leave even when I wanted to stay and face James while the Cullens protected Charlie. He influenced my lack of communication with classmates. And even on a lesser scale, Edward forced me to attend prom even when I swore that I didn't wish to go. The more I thought of the entire situation, the more I became aware of.

Edward was a possessive person as well.

He slipped into my bedroom window completely undetected and observed me while I slept for months without my knowledge or permission. He monitored my every move and every word the weeks after the hospitalization mess involving Tyler Crowley's van. He detested Mike Newton so fully to the point that Mike couldn't glance at me without Edward purposely intimidating him and pestering me to discontinue that particular friendship.

And despite all of that, I loved him. Even now, I cared for Edward. I had been so horrified that words couldn't possibly express the depth of my terror when Jake and Edward fought. Most of that overwhelming, incomprehensible fear had been for Jake, but a smaller portion was for Edward as well. I didn't wish him harm. Over the course of time I spent with Jake, I learned to release the bitterness I held toward myself and Edward. I no longer felt angry toward him. A small piece of me, I think, would always love Edward Cullen. But the feeling was absolutely nothing like it was before. The love I felt for him was platonic. It felt mediocre compared to Jacob.

I was lying on my bed after a slow, relaxing night at Jake's house. He, Billy and I watched the sports channel until I'd fallen asleep. Then, Jake drove me home. Now, I knew, he was running through the forest on four paws and scouting and sniffing around for vampire scents. He was on duty. Protecting me. Like he always did.

I sighed heavily and rolled over. Each day that passed only brought the looming battle closer. When the anxiety of that tried to snatch me up with sharp teeth, I had to force myself to calm down. I didn't allow myself to think of death, but I knew that Victoria would come sooner or later. And I knew that it would be a hard battle to fight. The Cullens had backed off since the blow up between Rosalie and Jake. The near battle to the death between Jake and Edward had only increased the uneasiness between our alliances. No longer were the wolves and Cullens training together, which meant the wolves trained amongst themselves each afternoon.

I was still watched each night, but Sam had put a stop to the Cullens watching me, so it was always Jake who guarded me. For the last week, he would slip through my window around two in the morning and crawl underneath the blankets with me. Sometimes we would whisper to one another about trivial things, other times we would hold each other and not say a word. But as Jake silently eased onto the bed, I knew tonight would be a night for talking. And we wouldn't be talking about trivial things.

I whispered, "Victoria will be coming any day now, Jake."

"I know, Bells," Jake whispered just as quietly, "We're ready for her."

"What about the Cullens?" I asked hesitantly, "You can't fight against Victoria when you are on such bad terms with the Cullens."

Jake sighed heavily and his voice was tired as he said, "The leader has already called Sam twice to schedule a meeting. We'll go tomorrow to speak with them, Bella. We aren't weak or stupid. We know what we are doing."

There was a moment of silence that filled my darkened bedroom before I murmured, "I know none of you are weak or stupid, Jake. I'm only worried for you. For your brothers. For everyone."

His strong body was warm against my side. I felt his hand grip mine gently underneath the blanket as he whispered, "Rest, Bella, you and I will be okay. I promise you that much. You'll live happily after all of this, Bella, so don't worry."

I frowned in the darkness and gulped before whispering, "How can you sound so sure about the outcome of all of this?"

"Because I'm made to protect you from things like Victoria." Jake answered, "And I will protect you from her. I will kill her and all the others that are threatening you. Then, you and I will go on with our lives like we're supposed to. Just Jake and Bells."

"I'm not concerned about me, Jake." I heatedly whispered, "How many times do I have to tell you that? I'm worried about you."

His husky voice was lower than normal as he replied, "You shouldn't worry about me, Bella. I'll be just fine."

"How can you be so sure?" I demanded in frustration. I couldn't count the number of times Jake had so nonchalantly given me answers such as these; it was infuriating.

"I'm sure," His other hand touched my cheek gently as his full lips touched mine, "…because I know that you need me, Bells. We need each other, so I'm not going anywhere. I'll fight and I'll kill and at the end of the battle, I'll walk away and come straight to you."

My heartbeat stuttered and a tender smile broke out across my lip as I curled my small body against his. As if it was an automatic gesture, Jake's arms looped around my shoulders and we both fell asleep.

At school the next morning, I debated with myself all throughout the first half of the day. By lunch, I decided that I knew what I had to do. My hands were shaking and I doubted myself the entire time as I walked toward Edward Cullen. He was standing at the back of the classroom with a textbook in his pale, slim hands. The majority of the students had filed out of the room moments before with the teacher following close behind. I knew that this particular instructor often left her classroom unlocked, so students could study throughout the lunch period. I supposed it was a good thing that no other students were in here beside him and me.

His golden eyes were on mine mere seconds after I decided to walk toward him. He set the book on a nearby desk and raised an eyebrow. He murmured, "This is a pleasant surprise for me, Bella."

I swallowed deeply and crossed my arms over my stomach for comfort as I mumbled, "I just wanted to tell you something."

Edward gestured and murmured, "Say whatever you wish, Bella."

I exhaled carefully and closed my eyes. Mentally, I counted to five, opened my eyes and said, "The night you came out of the forest to speak to me was a complete night of manipulation. You talked about things you don't understand and twisted Jake's actions into devious motives that aren't true. Then, when Rosalie was being nasty, you jumped in and acted just as terrible as she was during that training session. I don't appreciate any of your actions, Edward. In fact, I detest what you've been doing."

He quietly questioned, "Am I the only one to blame, Bella? How can you blame me for fighting unfairly for your love? Does any man fight fairly when it comes to the woman he wants?"

I shook my head and explained, "Your manipulation goes even further back than any of this, Edward. You can't blame this ugly side of you on the fact that I love Jake now. When I first met you, there was still a large amount of controlling and possessive behavior coming from you."

"What are you talking about, Bella?" Edward asked with a tensed and confused expression upon his face.

"Any time you wanted me to do something or go somewhere I didn't wish to, you found a way to make that happen. And don't pretend like you don't know how possessive you are of me."

"Of course, I am." He replied in exasperation, "Bella, you are the love of my life. Certainly there is possessiveness. I can't apologize for that because that's a dominant trait of my kind, my species."

I shook my head slowly before whispering, "I've said my piece, Edward. Please, leave Jake and me alone."

I turned and walked from the room briskly. By the time I walked halfway down the hallway, I was shaking like a leaf. I walked in a daze to my truck and left school quickly. My only thought was getting to La Push. Getting to Jake.


	26. Chapter 26

**AN:** _Here it is, guys and girls:) Thank you for reviewing and reading._

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I drove straight to Jake's house without thinking. I was on autopilot- my only goal was to get to Jacob. I couldn't explain why I needed to see him; I just knew he calmed me. He would hold me if I wanted to cry or talk with me if I wanted that. I just _needed_ him.

I walked through his front door without knocking and immediately realized nobody was home. All the lights were off and the only sounds were the loud rattling from the Blacks' ancient icebox and the low _whoosh_ coming from the box-fan in Jake's bedroom. I turned around and slammed the door before jogging to my truck. I cranked it up and drove deeper into La Push until I was at Emily's cottage.

I could faintly hear music flowing from the small cottage as I walked toward it. All of the windows and doors were open to let the cool breeze in and as I walked onto the porch, I could smell baking bread. I knocked loudly on the doorjamb, but Emily didn't hear. I watched her flutter around the kitchen while her lips moved silently with the lyrics to the song playing. She was wearing a tank-top and her signature ankle-length skirt.

Her long hair was braided and flowing down her back with a thick tie at the end of it. She held a metal bowl in one hand and was mixing the batter inside of the bowl with a wooden spoon. I called out, "Hey, Emily!"

She jumped slightly before turning to me and smiling brightly. She gestured for me to come in before hurrying to the nearby radio. She snapped the dial and the music died. She laughed and said, "Sorry, Bella. I work faster when I have music going. I know the boys will be very hungry. They've been like that all week. I supposed it's because Sam's been running and training them so hard."

I gave a tired smile and ran my hands through my hair while shaking my head. "Uh, it's alright. Do you need help? I wanted to see Jake, but if he's busy…"

Emily frowned before jerking her chin in the direction of the countertop, which had multiple bowls and pots in various sizes. She instructed, "Just grab one and start stirring."

I raised my eyebrows in amazement as I picked up a metal bowl and grabbed a wooden spoon from the cabinet. I asked, "What all do you have here?"

"I have two loaves of French bread baking right now." She smiled and held up the bowl in her hands, "This is the third. That one in your hands is the same thing. Then, there are three bowls of different cookie dough toward the right side of the countertop."

I whistled before wordlessly beginning to work. We stirred and kneaded dough in silence for over half an hour before I noticed Emily humming a tune under her breath. I commented, "You can turn the music back on, Emily."

"Are you sure?" She asked.

I nodded and then shook my head as she bounced across the room and flipped the radio dial to the left. Music began to blast out immediately, but I wasn't bothered by it. When the timer went off, Emily and I both grabbed oven mittens and took out the loaves of bread. She slipped the other two loaves in as I set the timer. It was soothing to work with her- she didn't talk too much, but she still supplied conversations that I didn't mind participating in.

My fingers were sticky with butter as I greased three cookie sheets. I evenly distributed dollops of cookie dough to all three sheets, which took a long amount of time. Eventually, the uneasiness over my argument with Edward was completely gone and I was left with a soothing feeling. Cooking or baking always seemed to aid me in feeling at ease.

I was slipping the second batch of cookies in the oven when I asked, "What are you feeding them for dinner?"

Emily's bright laugh filled the room. I went to the kitchen table and sat on the opposite side from her. She was ripping the tiny fibers off of fresh ears of corn and throwing them into a massive basket as she said, "I've got a crock-pot of beans that I've been cooking since yesterday. I also have over a dozen pork chops marinating in the refrigerator."

I chuckled breathlessly and stated, "I don't know how you do this every day."

Emily shrugged one shoulder and offered a breezy smile before replying, "I don't mind. I love to cook and I love the boys. I know it is right for me to help them in any way that I can. And if I can provide them food, then I will."

I smiled softly as I watched Emily Young continue to shuck ears of corn. She was a wonderful person. A devoted partner to Sam. A den-mother to the pack. A provider. A happy woman. A strong woman. _What was I?_ In that moment, as I looked at Emily, I decided that I hadn't done much in life to prove that I was anything. I was ashamed because I couldn't even say I was a devoted woman to Jacob. _Hadn't I pushed him away from months? Hadn't I denied how much I loved him for months?_ _Didn't I take advantage of his sweet nature?_ Now that his wolf instincts were dominant, I missed the constant brightness. I was selfish for not realizing how much I leaned on him to take my darkness away until his sunlight was nothing but a dim flicker.

Suddenly, I wished the Cullens were gone. I wished they were far away. South America or Indonesia. China or London. Anywhere except Forks. I didn't want Jake's personality to be altered anymore. He was still Jake, but he was different. Angrier. Darker. Stressed. Pressured. Dangerous.

I was still thinking of these things when Sam walked through the threshold of the house. He stopped, gave a rare smile and then scooped Emily up. I watched for a split second before looking elsewhere; I was pretty sure my face was coated with a deep blush.

"Okay, okay. We get it; you love her. Now move out of the way." Paul complained as he and Jared walked through the door. Paul huffed when he saw me and mumbled, "Oh, perfect."

Then his voice got louder as he asked, "What happened this time, Bella? Is Jake going to have to avenge you again?"

I heard Quil from outside as he yelled, "Hey, Jake! Bella is here!"

I sighed and stood up. Carefully, I walked around Paul and slipped out of the front door. Jake was just buttoning his cutoff shorts as he came out from behind the brush. Embry was jogging behind him. Quil offered a smile as I walked down the steps and made my way across the front yard. He said, "Hey, sexy."

I felt my face heat up as I slapped his bare arm. I muttered, "Oh, shut up, Quil."

Jake growled lowly as he got closer to us and ordered, "Knock it off, Quil."

He wrapped his big hands around my waist and pulled me gently against him. I sighed softly and pressed my cheek to his bare chest. As he whispered to me, I felt the vibrations of his voice through his body. "How long have you been in La Push?"

"Since the early afternoon." I rubbed my nose against his chest and breathed in his scent as I said, "I needed to leave school, so I came here."

Quil and Embry headed into the house as Jake began to rub his thumbs across my lower back. His voice held a deep edge as he asked, "Did _he_ do something to you? I'll kill him this time. I mean it, Bella."

"No…" I whispered. I could feel his skin quivering as the rage built. I was sure his wolf was fighting with him again, so I put my palms flat against his chest. I kept my cheek on his chest as well and pressed my body to his as tightly as possible. I murmured, "He didn't do anything, Jake. Actually, I'm the one who started an argument. Please, don't get worked up."

"You did _what?"_ Jake asked in astonishment, "What did you say?"

I took a small breath and exhaled, "I told him that his actions are ridiculous and I'm tired of him trying to manipulate me. I told him that I was pissed that he tried insinuating bad things about you."

I glanced up and saw Jake's sober expression. I added quietly, "I told him to leave you and me alone. Then, I walked away and came straight here."

A small smile turned his lips up as he leaned down and pressed his forehead to mine. He whispered, "That's my girl."

I was pushing up on the tips of my toes to kiss him when Paul called out, "Hey, lovebirds! Save the makeup sex for later and get in here. The leech leader just called and Sam wants both of you in here before they talk."

Jake huffed and pecked my lips once before taking my hand and led me inside the cottage. Paul gave a snarky grin before walking back to the kitchen table and sitting beside Jared and Embry. All three of them were stuffing their mouths with food. Quil was leaning against the wall with a plate full of pork chops and corn.

Sam was leaning against the archway leading to the living room with a cordless phone in his hand. His face was etched into his signature mask of seriousness, but I noticed the way he kept eyeing Emily as she scooped cookies off of the baking sheets. Finally, he said, "Alright, leech."

He pressed a button and then Carlisle's clear voice filled the room. He said, "I thought it best to inform you all that my daughter, Alice, has had a vision."

There was a pause and Paul sighed heavily, "Of what, bloodsucker?"

Carlisle explained slowly, "She has seen Victoria and her followers moving. They were coming through the forest east of Washington."

"When will they be here, in Washington?" Sam asked tightly.

My heart pounded deeply in my chest and my hand squeezed tightly against Jake's. My gaze was stuck on Sam, but I caught Jake glancing at me instead of paying attention to Sam and the phone in his hand. Carlisle answered, "We have an educated guess."

Paul snorted sarcastically and Sam hushed him with a low growl. Sam asked, "Can you explain your guess?"

"Yes," Carlisle explained, "In the vision, Victoria crossed a highway 90, although we aren't sure which state she is in, and she passed by a church. There was a sign that was advertising a food drive for Saturday, the twenty third of April."

My heart skipped a beat and my eyes fell closed. I exhaled shakily as curses filled the room. Sam stated, "This Saturday…"

"Yes," Carlisle replied hesitantly, "I would like to offer our assistance, Sam. I have spoken to Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie. They understand that they are not to engage in controversy with any of you. This is a matter of Bella's life and her death. Regardless of our species, sir, I care for Isabella too. My family cares for her."

I opened my eyes and swayed on my feet. My bottom lip was quivering and it took all of my control to hold the tears at bay. Jake tugged my body against his side and kissed the top of my head, so I held onto him as a young child would to their mother. Sam quietly said, "Alright, Carlisle. I'll call back soon."

Slowly, he set the phone on the kitchen countertop. The entire room was motionless for a prolonged moment. Then Paul said," We will kill every fucking one of them. Stop looking so defeated, you idiots."

Sam sighed heavily and rubbed his fingers against his temples before saying, "Men, you know every one of our strategy plans so far. There's only one thing left to decide."

Jake's body trembled slightly as he held me. I could feel his breath growing deeper. I glanced at Sam, who was watching Jake intently. He said, "This has to be decided, Jacob."

"What do you want me to say, Sam?" He spit out, "This isn't easy for me. How do I know what choice is the right one? You wouldn't decide so quickly if it was Emily in this position, so shut the hell up. Stop pushing at me every hour."

"This has to be decided, Jake." Sam spoke firmly, "I know this isn't easy for you and I didn't, at any point in time, ask you to make a split-second decision concerning Bella. As you heard, we're nearly out of time, so decide and do it _now."_

"Decide what?" I asked in frustration, "What about me, Jake? Sam?"

Sam's dark eyes flickered to mine and said, "Jake, you tell her. Don't make me have to speak for you like I did in the clearing all those days ago."

Jake growled deeply and loudly enough that it startled me. He rubbed my shoulder to comfort me as he looked down to meet my gaze and explained quietly, "We've been trying to figure out…where you should be and who should guard you while the battle is happening."

I said, "Oh…"

It was a perfectly reasonable question. _Where would I be? How could I not have thought of this?_ If I was too close, then I'd be a distraction and likely be killed within seconds or minutes. If I was out of the state that would mean somebody wouldn't be near their family during the battle. That meant they wouldn't be able to protect their loved ones because they'd be forced to watch over me. I couldn't allow that to happen.

My mind was racing as I tried to find a solution. All around me conversation broke out.

"How about we just put her in her house?" Jared suggested, "Honestly, would the leeches think we'd put her out in the open like that? No, so that would be unexpected."

"No." Jake growled, "That house has too many weak points."

"Like what?" Jared demanded.

"Over a dozen windows, two doors." Jake fired off, "Forget that, they could just take out a damn wall. The house is barely ten yards from the forest; we would have no room to maneuver. They'd be on us in seconds. And it would only take one of us going down. One break in our line of defense and they'd take a single step and have her in their hands. Hell no."

"Fine." Sam waved his hand to dismiss Jared's idea. Talk and arguments bounced back and forth for another few minutes until an idea formed in my mind. _Doctor and Mrs. Cullen yank them out of school on sunny days to go camping and hiking. Stuff like that. Camping, hiking._

I gasped and whispered, "Camping."

Conversations in the room seized. Paul raised a dark brown as he sarcastically said, "I don't think we could go camping right now, sweetheart, but I'm sure if you and Jake both live through this shit-storm, he'll take you camping."

I stomped my foot and huffed, "You are, by far, the biggest asshole I have ever met. Do you enjoy picking on somebody half your size? Does it make you feel manly?"

Paul's expression registered a moment of shock before he cursed. I heard Quil guffaw before Sam cut him off quickly by saying, "That's enough. Shut up Paul. And Bella, tell me what you are talking about."

I turned to face Sam and explained, "The Cullens hunt animals. Well, they like to go to areas that are overpopulated with animals. Like bears or mountain lions. I don't remember the name of it, but there's a specific ridge that they like to go to because it is overpopulated with lions. I think it's in Canada. That is far away, but still close enough that whoever is guarding me can get back to the fight if necessary, right?"

Sam nodded curtly and said, "It's worth a shot."

"Who's lucky enough to guard the little pale-face?" Paul huffed under his breath.

"If you don't watch it," Sam threatened, "It will be _you."_

Paul huffed, I gasped in outrage, and Jake growled, "I'm guarding her, Sam. I'll be damned if her life is in Paul's hands."

Sam ordered, "Cool it, Jake."

He gestured sharply and spoke, "It's final. That's my decision. She'll go to this ridge in Canada and Jake, you'll go with her. The rest of us will fight. Let me call the leeches. Guys, all of you need to be prepared for another training session tomorrow afternoon. We have about three days, so we have to make it count."

He sighed and then said, "Don't worry about running patrols for the next three days. You're all free to see your families, but I want all of you here at three O'clock tomorrow."

Jake squeezed my hand and murmured, "Come on, Bells. Let's go to my house."

As we walked to my truck, all I could do was replay Sam's words. You're all free to see your families. I knew why he was saying that. Because there was a chance some wouldn't ever see their families again three days from now. With fear infecting my heart, I wrapped myself around Jake as he drove away.

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**AN:** _Next up is...*chuckles* you guys didn't think I was going to tell you, did you?:) Thanks for reading. I'd love some reviews on how YOU think the battle should turn out:)_


	27. Chapter 27

**AN:** _This is the second chapter in one day; I've written over six thousand words today!:) I reallyyy would like reviews. I want to know your thoughts, guys:)_

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Everything was falling into place. Sam and Carlisle were on speaking terms, Jake and the rest of his brothers were still training each afternoon, the Cullens believed putting me on a mountain in Canada was a great idea, and Charlie was set to go on a fishing trip to Portland along with Billy, Harry, and several of their friends. It had been right at twenty-four hours since we had found out when the battle would begin, and all of these issues were solved.

As I walked out of the counselor's office, I felt uneasy again. The night before, I sat down with Charlie and we spent over an hour filling out paper work concerning colleges. I figured if I lived past this weekend, I might as well attempt doing something important in my life. So I applied for Peninsula Community College in Port Angeles. And yet, I was nervous about telling Jake.

Port Angeles was a far enough drive away that I knew I wouldn't be able to live in Forks. I would have to find somewhere near the college to live. At least during week days. I only hoped I had enough money to pay for gasoline, so I could drive to Forks every weekend. I wasn't worried about taking care of myself because I had been doing that since I was a child- Renee was like the child and I had always acted like the mother. I wasn't worried about being away from Charlie- he had been living by himself for decades and he didn't mind living alone. I was worried about Jake. Just Jake.

I hoped he would be restarting his tenth grade school year once the battle was over, but that meant I would be at college for two years before he ever graduated high school. That put an obstacle in our way._ How would we deal with being in a long distant relationship?_ I wasn't sure, but I knew that I needed to go to college.

"What are you thinking so hard about, honey?"

I gasped and looked up as I neared the front of my truck. I touched my fingertips to my chest and said, "Don't scare me like that, Jake. Jeez."

His eyebrows rose and a soft smile touched his lips, "I'm sorry, honey."

I went to him and stood on the tips of my toes before planting a light kiss on his lips. He brought his fingers to the top of my head and gently brushed them through my hair before saying, "Why did you look so preoccupied when you were walking out of the school building?"

"I didn't." I lied feebly.

"Yes, you did," Jake whispered as he touched my nose, "You were frowning and your eyes were staring at the ground."

I shrugged and glanced at my feet. "I've just been talking about…college stuff with the counselor. He keeps harassing me about it."

"College stuff?" Jake questioned as he opened the passenger-side door for me. I climbed in and let him close the door. I had less than ten seconds to think of excuses before Jake slipped inside the cabin. "What kind of college stuff?"

"Uh…"

He frowned and hesitantly said, "Bells, why are you acting so weird?"

I bit my bottom lip and mumbled, "I don't want to talk about it."

There was a silent pause before Jake slowly said, "Bella…there's going to be a massive fight in less than two days from now. Between vampires and werewolves. We can talk about that, but we can't talk about you going to college?"

I blurted, "I never said I was going to college."

He glanced at me with a concerned frown on his face. He said, "Baby, why wouldn't you go? You're so smart. The money situation will be really tight, I'm sure, but you'll figure it out."

"You…you want me to go?" I questioned hesitantly.

His frown grew more pronounced and then he softly said, "Yes, I do. I want you to be able to continue learning. I know you like school, Bells. And once all of this mess is over and done with, I know you'll want to focus on your schooling again."

I eyed his profile as he turned on the La Push turnoff. He slowed the truck to a crawl and looked at me. His dark eyes searched my face for a long moment before he said, "If you're acting so shy about this subject because you're worried about how I will take it, then don't."

He reached a hand over and let his fingertips dance over the nape of my neck as he said, "I don't ever want you to hold yourself back because of me, Bella. I want you to be happy and college will make you happy. If you want to go, then I want you to go. I'll be right here in La Push. I'll probably never leave here, so it isn't like you won't know where to find me if you decide to come back."

I frowned deeply and slowly replied, "You're talking as if we would break up…"

Jake hummed under his breath as he parked the truck in the front of his small house. He said, "I don't think that's the right term to use for it, Bella. I'll never stop loving you or wanting you. But, if you decided to move away for college and try…new things in your life, then I'd step back and give you the space to roam. I don't own you, Bella. You own yourself. Leaving home is what most eighteen year old teenagers do; I expected this months ago, honey."

I opened my mouth and then shut it quickly. I unbuckled my seatbelt and crawled across the cab until I was sitting in Jake's lap. His hands palmed my hips and our foreheads touched. We stared at one another with only inches separating our faces. I murmured, "I'm not walking away from you, Jake. I didn't think of our future at first, not until this battle got so close to us and I realized that future I didn't bother thinking about could be taken from me. Jake…"

I gripped his palm and brought it up to my chest. Gently, I placed his palm against the pulse of my heart and whispered, "You're right; you know me so well. I do want to go to college, but I'm not willing to leave my home. _You're_ my home. Charlie is my home. Here in La Push feels like my home because it's _your_ home. And I'm not leaving. I turned in my application for Peninsula Community College today. Port Angeles isn't too far- we can make that work, Jake. We really can."

Jake kissed me before saying, "I really love you."

I smiled and let our lips touch again, "I really love you too."

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I didn't sleep at all that night. Jake lay in my bed and held me closely for hours. We didn't talk, but he soothed some of my nerves by running his hand over the lower part of my back. Charlie was up before dawn. We both listened as he rummaged around his bedroom. He clambered down the stairs. Minutes later, the cruiser's engine purred to life. At dawn, Jake stood up and wordlessly left the bedroom. I listened intently, but couldn't detect which part of the house he was in.

I heard the creaking sound of the shower being turned on before I decided to get up. Throughout the night, my mind went into a state of numbness. Nightmarish images and possibilities for this battle played out in my mind for so long that I thought I would scream. At some point, though, they stopped. And the numbness took over. I mechanically packed a fresh change of clothes in the brand new hiking pack Alice had presented me with the day before in the school parking lot.

I slipped my sweaty pajamas off, slipped a t-shirt over my bra and had just managed to yank on a pair of jeans when Jake walked into the bedroom. He was wearing cutoff shorts and was towel-drying his hair when he noticed I was standing up. He tried to smile at me, but it fell short. His dark gaze shifted to the pack at my feet and then he said, "I love you, Bells."

My voice was shakily as I whispered, "I love you too, Jake."

He came to my side, bent over, picked up the pack, slung it over his shoulder, took my hand and asked, "Are you ready?"

"No." I shook my head and quietly said, "I don't think I'll ever be ready for this."

He squeezed my hand and spoke just as quietly, "I won't let anybody hurt you, Bella. I swear it."

I closed my eyes as the tears threatened to appear, "I know you won't…"

Jake and I met the Cullens at Forks High School. That was part of the plan that Sam and the Cullens had concocted. We took an off-road Jeep that looked more expensive than my house- the backseats were loaded down with new camping gear, which I gawked at for a solid minute. Jake's body was tense and he never let me stand more than a foot from him. It was strange to have Carlisle, Alice, Emmett, Edward and Jasper beside Jake and me as Carlisle handed Jake the keys.

"I'm sorry that the smell will be unpleasant for you, Jake. I know vampires do not smell appealing to a werewolf, but, as you know, it was necessary to keep as much of our scent on the vehicle as possible. I'm sure our scents mixed with your scent will mask Bella's well enough to confuse the army."

"Newborns are crazed." Jasper explained, "They have feverish thoughts and normally do not function rationally. I doubt Victoria has any logically skilled vampires on her side. She is likely the only one who has any tracking experience. I'd say the strong mixture of scents will throw them all off course."

"Also," Alice spoke up from beside Jasper, "Everything either of you should need is in the backseat. There is all the necessary equipment you two will need to set up camp. The temperatures will drop dramatically at night, Bella, so we've packed the best thermal gear we could get our hands on."

I nodded and leaned against Jake's side. He held me comfortably as he stated tightly, "Sam said one of you had directions to this place for me."

"Oh, yes, here you go." Carlisle took a slow step forward and held out a slip of paper with bold, dark, neat handwriting on it. "Sam says you have all familiarized yourselves with the Canadian border over the last month in regards to chasing Victoria. The ridge is past Bellingham. Try not to be spotted by civilians once you reach this point," Carlisle pointed to a section on a map.

"The necessary permits to camp on the territory are on the dashboard, along with identifications that claim you both are environmentalists sent out on an assignment. Bella, I would suggest you read the paper work just in case you are found and questioned by game-wardens, although I doubt you will be."

"Here is a forged driver's license, Jacob." Carlisle took the card from Jasper and handed it over. Jake huffed and muttered, "That explains why Dad was going through our boxes of pictures yesterday afternoon."

"The insurance card for the Jeep is also on the dash-board." Carlisle explained, "On the floorboard of the backseats, we've placed a large pack of bottled water for you both. There are Ready-To-Eat meals packed in the bags along with all of the camping equipment. I know this road-trip will likely take you four or five hours, so I've put cash in a wallet inside of that compartment above the passenger seat. Please, feel free to use it for whatever you wish. Gas or food."

Carlisle grabbed a silver cellphone out of Jasper's hand and gave it to me. He said, "I programmed Sam's home number into the phone for you. I'm sure you, Jacob, would like to stay in touch with the pack. And you, Bella, would want to call Charlie and make sure he arrived safely in Portland."

I felt severely overwhelmed as I stuttered, "T-Thank you, Carlisle."

Jake tugged on my hand and said, "We need to go, Bells. We're traveling nearly two hundred miles, honey."

I started to climb into the Jeep, but stopped and slapped Jake's shoulder when he joked, "And it isn't like you're going to help set up the tent, so I'd like to get there before dark."

He chuckled as he came around the side of the Jeep and slid into the seat. The engine roared to life and my heartbeat jumped. I exhaled quickly and mumbled, "Good God, why is it so loud?"

"Off road vehicle, honey." Jake replied as he zoomed away. I glanced behind me only once and took a lasting look at the Cullens before they became nothing but pale silhouettes in the early morning light.

We drove for two hours before Jake stopped at a tiny gas station right off of the main highway. He eyed the leather designer wallet that I pulled out of the small compartment for several seconds before taking a wad full of twenty-dollar bills. I checked the face of the cellphone and saw that it was half past eight in the morning. The air was cool and there was a light breeze that caused me to shiver. The sun was just barely peeking out from behind a thick layer of clouds. Jake asked, "Are you hungry or thirsty?"

I nodded and said, "Why don't you just get a pile of junk food and some sodas? We're both bound to get hungry later and I'm sure that prepackaged camp food will kill us anyway."

He smiled slowly and asked, "Who did you learn such bad eating habits from?"

"This guy I know."

"Oh, really?" He chuckled.

I shrugged and said, "Yeah. He kinda looks like you."

He rolled his eyes and closed the driver-side door before heading into the store while I climbed out and pumped gasoline. It took nearly ten minutes before Jake came out of the store with _three_ plastic bags in his hand. My eyes widened as he walked my way with a smirk on his face. "How many times do I have to tell you that if you leave your mouth open like that you're going to catch flies?"

I snapped my jaw shut, narrowed my eyes, and climbed into the Jeep. Jake hoped in and handed the bags to me. We strapped our seat belts on and then Jake was zipping his way down the highway once again. He said, "Hand me one of those sodas, honey."

I handed over the bottle as I pawed through all of the merchandise. I asked, "How many packages of donuts did you buy?"

"Like four."

_"Four?"_

"I like donuts, Bells. One pack is only a tease. I got a few bags of chips too. And plenty of muffins and candy."

I rolled my eyes and smiled slightly as I set the bags on the floorboard of the truck and curled my legs until my feet were resting against the side of Jake's leg. He glanced at me and asked, "Are you going to take a nap, Bells?"

"No, I'm just trying to get comfortable."

"We'll be there in another couple hours, honey. Then, we can relax. Just me and you. Our first camping trip. It's kinda cool, don't you think?"

I couldn't help but smile softly at the enthusiasm in his voice, but I couldn't hide the sorrow in my voice as I whispered, "Yeah, our first camping trip. Maybe…after all of this is over, we can have a yearly camping trip together."

Jake's warm hand touched my leg as he said, "Yeah, I'd really like that, honey."

* * *

We drove the Jeep past Bellingham, but ended up having to park it in the middle of the forest about two miles from the main road. We were over one hundred and seventy miles from Forks, which I would assume was plenty. Jake thought otherwise. He said one hundred and seventy miles to a vampire was like a ten minute car ride to a human. That made my nervous jump forward once again and I was left fighting to calm myself.

I was perched on the hood of the Jeep. The mid-morning climate brought less wind, which I was grateful for. I had on a jacket and jeans, but knew I'd have to layer myself a lot more once we reached the ridge. Jake laid the map and hand-written directions on the section of hood I wasn't sitting on. I watched as his fingers ran across lines. I was impressed that he could even comprehend where we were because I surely didn't know. Jake pointed in a direction and said, "This is the way."

He sighed and looked at me doubtfully, "The ridge is about five miles this way. I know that the area is overpopulated with lions, so I'd feel much better if I was in my wolf form, Bells. I could reach the ridge within two minutes and carry the majority of the gear with us on my back…but I don't want to leave you alone."

I gestured and said, "Jake, it is ten thirty in the morning. Aren't lions most active at night? And this truck is so loud that it will scare any animal away. I'll sit inside of the cab with the engine running and the radio on. You'll be back within minutes, so I'll be fine."

Jake seemed unbelievably reluctant as he nodded toward the bag seat. He said, "Some of that stuff is pretty heavy, Bells. Do you think you'll be able to get it on my back without hurting yourself?"

I rolled my eyes, hoped off of the hood and opened the back door of the Jeep. I pulled out two hiking packs and dropped the to the forest floor. I reached back in the Jeep and pulled out the case of bottled waters. I was pulling out a dark green bag that was as long as my body when Jake came up behind me and effortlessly lifted it from the seat with one hand. He carefully set it on the ground and eyed me. He slowly said, "I don't think you'll be able to put the tent on my back, Bells."

I muttered, "Just phase and I'll show you how wrong you are."

He gave a half-smile before rounding the other side of the Jeep. I was digging through the packs to find a rope when I heard the cringe-worthy popping noise of Jake's body transforming. Seconds later, a massive rusty wolf edged his way around the Jeep. I blinked owlishly at him as I compared his mass to the Jeep- they were the same size.

I stepped forward and laid my hand on the side of his muzzle. I said, "I guess this will sound odd, but I've been wanting to feel your coat since I first saw you like this."

He made a noise, but I had no clue what he was trying to say. I ran my hand down his thick neck to his ribs. I could feel him inhaling and exhaling underneath my palm. He stayed absolutely motionless as I backed away and picked up the rope that I'd found in the packs. I held it up and said, "My only idea is to tie all of this to you."

He made another noise that sounded a lot like a snort. I frowned and asked, "Is that conformation to go ahead and do it?"

He made the noise again.

I sighed and then laughed abruptly, "Jake, this is weird. I can't understand you. I feel so awkward."

The lips of his muzzle lifted to show giant, razor-sharp teeth. My eyes widened and I stuttered, "U-Uh, Jake…?"

His muzzle closed and suddenly I heard a loud thumping. I peered behind him and watched as his big, bushy tail hit the ground and then came back up just to hit the ground again. I put my hands across my face to try to cover up my laughs. "Jake…" I choked out through my laughter, "You're wagging your tail like a puppy."

He barked happily as I picked up the hiking pack. He lowered his body to the ground, so his back leveled up evenly with my waist. I gently laid both the packs on his back before questioning, "Is this too much weight?"

He snorted and, even in wolf form, I could tell that he was being sarcastic. So I added the large case of bottled waters and a tower of blankets and pillows. After lots of heaving, pulling and leveraging, I managed to slide the tent onto his back as well. It took nearly ten minutes of my wrapping the rope around him until I managed to get it into a solid position. I bent down next to him and said, "Okay, Jake. The knot is tied together right here at your chest."

He stood and softly pushed his nose against my side until I climbed into the Jeep and shut the door. He stood there, simply staring at me until I realized why he wasn't leaving. I huffed and turned the key until the engine roared to life. Jake loped off through the trees until I couldn't see him anyway. Out of curiosity, I counted the seconds until he returned- he was gone for less than four minutes.

He returned with the rope in shreds and halfway hanging off of his body. I climbed out of the car and muttered, "I hope we don't need that for an emergency."

He lowered himself back to the ground as I turned the Jeep off, stuck the keys in my pocket and grabbed the plastic bags of snacks and sodas. I turned and raised my eyebrows. "You want me to get on your back?"

He made a noise that was a mixture of a snort and a yipping bark.

I shook my head and said, "No way, Jake, that's weird."

He snorted and moved his head around. We stared at each other in silence with nothing but the morning birds singing to fill the silence. Finally, I caved in and slowly walked to his side. I climbed onto his back and tried not to put too much weight on his flank when I boosted myself up with my foot. He never winced or wined, so I assumed he was okay. He stood up and I nearly fell off. I yelped and latched onto his fur with both fists. I firmly said, "You better warn me before you make any sudden movements. Damnit, what am I supposed to hold onto? Your fur?"

He grunted and took a slow step forward. My fists tightened on his coat and I spoke between gritted teeth, "I want to apologize in advance because I'm probably going to yank your fur out. No running at all, Jake. I'm serious. I will fall off and break my neck. You better just walk."

He made several noises. One was a low growl and another was more of like a rumble. He barked lowly before I finally asked, "Are you complaining? It sounds like your complaining."

He walked for a few seconds, but then he slowly gained speed until he was at a trot. I leaned forward until my chest was pressing against his shoulder blades. I muttered, "No faster than this."

He snorted again as we passed tree after tree and drew closer to the ridge.

* * *

**AN:** _We're getting _SO_ close to the battle! I think you all will be shocked by the time I'm done with it! As always, thanks for reading and I love to hear your thoughts:)_


	28. Chapter 28

**AN:** _Thank you for reviewing and reading. I just love this chapter..:) Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!_

* * *

The ride was most definitely not smooth and by the time Jake's paws came to a halt on the side of a rocky section of the mountains, my legs felt like Jello. Jake slowly brought his belly to the ground and I slipped off of his side. My feet hit the ground hard and I abruptly sat down on my butt because I barely had any feeling in my legs.

Jake inched closer to me while keeping his belly on the ground. His hot breath fanned across my face a second before I saw a blur of pink and then my cheek was wet. I was stunned for an instant before I realized what he had done- he had licked me. I gawked with wide eyes as his big, pink tongue rolled out of the side of his mouth and he yipped quietly at me.

"Jake…" I said and then a huge grin spread across my face, "I never thought I would have to say this, but let's stick to kissing me only when you're in your human form."

He let out another snort as he trotted a few feet in front of me. There were no coverage for him within the immediate area on the side of the mountain, so I closed my eyes tightly and said, "Go ahead and phase back."

I listened intently to the popping and the sound of a zipper and the snap of a button before he called out, "Okay, Bells, I'm decent."

I opened my eyes and looked at him for a moment. He spread his arms out and said, "Well, this is it. I kinda like it."

I stood up and dusted off the back of my jeans as Jake walked to the wall of the ridge, which was closest to where I was. I watched as he began to set up the tent. I wasn't surprised when he managed to work quickly and efficiently- I had come to realize that if it had to do with fixing things or if it concerned nature, Jake knew all about it. I continued to watch as he took metal spikes and drilled them through the rocky wall with just the palm of his hand.

I stepped closer to him and asked, "Why are you pinning the back of the tent to the mountain?"

"It is gonna get colder up here within the next couple of hours, Bells. The wind will pick up speed too, so this is just a precaution to make sure the tent stays in place."

I folded my arms across my chest and watched as he picked up another spike and placed the tip on the tent and then pressed his palm flat against the end. There was a quiet grinding and then the spike sunk into the wall of rock. I commented, "You know, sometimes…your strength amazes me."

I didn't know why I told him that, but once he stopped working and turned to glance at me, I was glad I did. His dark eyes warmed with sunniness and he gave me a fleeting grin before asking, "Really?"

I nodded and stepped back as Jake bent down next to the pile of equipment and began to pull out numerous objects. I bent down next to him and asked, "What's that?"

He held up the two bags and commented, "Sleeping bags."

He ruffled my hair before grabbing the mound of blankets and walking into the mouth of the tent. I stood outside and watched as he expertly folded and arranged the blankets across the generous floor space. Then, he grabbed sleeping bags and laid them out as well. He had to crunch over considerably because of his tall height to get back out of the tent.

For another thirty minutes, I passed the time by simply watching him put together the makings of a camp-site. He jogged down the side of the mountain toward the lower base only to return five minutes later dragging an uprooted tree that was about seven feet tall. My jaw dropped as I asked, "How did you do that?"

He shrugged a shoulder as he explained, "It's just a baby Hemlock, Bells. It wasn't that difficult to rip up."

As he began to snap branches as thick as my wrist, he said, "I actually feel guilty for doing this. I shouldn't waste a tree's life for no reason. When you're a werewolf, you don't really need warmth, but…you'll need heat, so we need a fire, so it isn't a waste."

After he was done fretting over the tree, I softly said, "I think it's really great that you respect nature so much."

Jake chuckled and gave me a half-smile. "Bells, I was raised with the knowledge that nature is the greatest force on earth. I was raised to hold Her in the highest respects; that's our belief."

After he had successfully snapped the tree to smaller pieces, he took my hand and jerked his chin in the direction of the edge of the ridge. He said, "I want you to look at this."

I shook my head and nervously said, "Uh, with my luck I will fall, Jake."

"You won't fall, Bells." Jake kissed the top of my head and whispered, "Hold onto me."

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He picked me up and used his hands as a cradle, so I was basically sitting in his arms like one would if they were perched on a swing. I asked slowly, "I'm not too heavy for you?"

He laughed and rubbed his cheek against the side of my head; the action made my heart feel heavy with love. As he stepped closer to the edge, I gasped. The air was crisp and cool. The sky was a wonderful light gray and it was colossal. Endless. Perfect. It went on forever. Before us was a picture of everything beautiful in the world. The land was hundreds and hundreds of feet below us. It was a carpet of lush, vibrant greens and browns. Trees decorated the land as far as the eye could see and their tops danced happily in the evening breeze. If I listened intently, I could hear the sound of fresh water rushing from the distance.

"It's so…" I paused and shook my head, "…beautiful."

And there I perched, surrounded in Jake's warmth and scent, as the light gradually faded from the sky and darkness came forward to cover us.

* * *

I laughed loudly as Jake's melting marshmallow fell off of his stick and into the fire. He lunged to catch it, but wasn't quick enough. His expression was the perfect picture of over-exaggerated sadness. He said, "Damn. That's the last one."

I was still chuckling as I pulled the marshmallow I had been roasting off of the end of my stick and went to his side. I perched on the edge of his leg and held the marshmallow up to his lips. The flickering orange light coming from the fire cast shadows across his handsome face as he gently bit the marshmallow and swallowed.

I smiled and said, "We're running out of junk food because of you."

He chuckled, "You ate half the bag of marshmallows."

I shoved at his chest playfully and exclaimed, "I did not!"

"Yeah, whatever, Swan." He wrapped his palms across my waist and asked, "Are you getting cold?"

I started to tell the truth, but then snuggled closer to him and lied, "Yes, It's pretty cold."

With my back against his bare chest, he wrapped his arms around my torso and whispered, "I've been thinking a lot, Bells…"

There was a long pause before I asked, "About what?"

He whispered, "About us. About the things I want for us when we're older."

My heart skipped a beat and I had to swallow deeply before I said, "Tell me what you want."

He hummed under his breath and murmured, "It might be more than…what you're thinking of now. I don't want to upset or pressure you, Bells."

"I want to know." I whispered. When he still didn't say anything, I put my hand on top of his and said, "Tell me, Jake."

I felt more than heard him release a deep breath and then he began.

"It starts with me picturing you at college, Bells. You'll be sitting in some fancy classroom listening to a lecture about things I could never possibly understand. And you'll be happy. I'll be finishing high school in La Push, so I know we won't see each other every day, but you'll come home on weekends. You come to see me. I dreamed of this, Bells."

His hand began to comb through my hair as he said, "In the dream, I'm working in the garage and I hear your truck engine, so I run down the slope and to the front yard. And there you are. Beautiful and smiling. You have all of these books and papers with you and you're complaining about a ton of essays you have to write. Everything is just…perfect. We hang out in the garage and with the guys. Charlie comes over and then he and Dad are watching the sports channel all weekend long."

I smiled softly, but was so full of emotion that I couldn't manage a chuckle. Jake whispered, "Then, the dream changes. All of the sudden, we're older. We have this beautiful cabin in La Push, Bells. And we're married. I wake up next to you and all I get to see are these gorgeous, brown eyes. I'm not transforming at this point, so I can actually wear a ring without worrying that I will break it. And it feels perfect on my finger because I know that's exactly where it belongs. It's meant to be there."

Two tears slowly spilled down my eyes as Jake's low voice kept speaking to my heart like a melody. "I'm holding you in bed and the morning light is just beginning to filter through the window in our bedroom when the door opens. And then there are two kids running in with big grins on their faces. Twins. A boy and a girl."

He paused and whispered, "They're our children. They're both really young, maybe five or six. At first, I think they look a lot like me. Tanned skin and black hair, but then I realize that the little girl has your eyes and ringlets in her hair that look so much like Charlie's. And the little boy has your chin. Both of them have cute, little button noses…just like you, Bells."

His voice faded away as I squeezed his hand tightly. He squeezed back as I gazed at the dancing flames of the fire. I took a wobbly breath and turned to face him. Immediately, his eyes showed concern as he saw my tears. He reached up and gently wiped them away with his thumbs. He murmured, "I upset you…?"

I shook my head and pressed my forehead to him. The concern he showed only caused more silent tears to fall. My voice was shaky as I said, "No…I'm not upset. I'm…Jake, I'm…"

I couldn't speak and I didn't know how to tell him how I felt. _Could something so deep ever be put into words?_ I decided that words weren't enough. I touched his cheek and kissed him slowly. He responded instantly and pulled me closer until I was completely turned around with both legs dangling to the ground on either side. I pushed my fingers through his hair as his fingers wrapped around my waist. I was terrified about what I wanted and terrified about the battle and so full of love for the man in front of me that I forced the terror away and wrapped my fingers around his thick wrist as we continued kissing.

Slowly and surely, I slipped his hand underneath my sweater until his fingertips were touching the skin of my back. I used one hand to push the material of my sweater up a several inches until the cloth was bunched at the top of my ribcage. The coolness of the night was flowing across my back and waist. I heard Jake's breath hitch quietly as I pulled away and leaned forward again to touch my skin to his. He ran his hands over the exposed parts of my back, waist and stomach before hesitantly questioning, "Bells…?"

The nerves that I could detect in his voice were enough to soothe my own doubts. I leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. "It is okay, Jake, I want you to."

I could hear his heart thudding strongly in his chest as he huskily asked, "Are you sure?"

A small smile caressed my lips as I whispered, "I want that dream to come true, Jake. I want you for the rest of my life and I want this, for us, right now."

Jake stood up and cradled me in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and allowed him to bring me to the tent. He set me down and I watched the way his back muscles extended and contracted as he bent down to close the mouth of the tent before coming to lay beside me. He whispered, "I love you, Bella."

I reached over and softly touched the corner of his lips with my fingertip. I said, "I love you too, Jake."

He pulled my body closer to his and whispered, "It's okay if you're nervous."

"I'm not." I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Why would I ever have to be nervous with you?"

We looked at each for a long time before he smiled. And that smile was everything to me. It was my Jacob. My sunshine, who led me down a path so perfect and flawless. My soul-mate. Every touch was unspoken words; every kiss was the warmth that I needed to live. He surrendered his strength to me and offered all that he was. Just as I surrendered myself and offered all that I was. He was what I felt, what I knew, what I needed. It was as if two halves had been searching for each other and now they were together. Those pieces had found their home. My life was altered once again, but this time, it was for something beautiful.

Something I was willing to fight for. Something he was willing to fight for.

* * *

**AN**_**:**__…And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. This chapter has made me very emotional. What about you?_


	29. Chapter 29

**AN:** _Thank you all, as always:) I must say...if I don't get reactions on this one, I'll be sorely disappointed._

* * *

The soft smile had been on my face for the last two hours. I was curled against Jake's side as the cool air seeped through the thin walls of the tent and circled around us. I hadn't slept at all and I was sure Jake hadn't either, although neither of us had spoken a word in hours. I had no idea what time it was, but I was sure dawn would be approaching soon enough. I didn't care, though- dawn seemed too far away to worry about. I knew the battle was today, but I was holding so tightly onto the feeling inside of my heart. A feeling that Jake had awakened. I didn't want to let go of him. I wanted the beautiful feeling and beautiful memories to continue caressing us for the rest of time.

My body was sore all over, so I turned and leaned deeper into Jake's side to ease the discomfort. I wasn't shy even though neither of us was wearing clothes- I felt, for the very first time in my entire life, beautiful. He made me feel absolutely wonderful. And perfect and happy and content.

Jake's hand was tracing warm fingertips over my spine as I shivered. He kissed my lips once before asking, "How are you feeling, honey?"

My smile was impossible to hide as I kissed his shoulder and peeked at him from underneath my eyelashes. I sighed softly and murmured, "Perfect."

Jake lowered his head and kissed the side of my neck before saying, "Me too."

I rubbed my nose against the smooth skin of his shoulder while he breathed in my scent. He whispered, "You were perfect, Bells. Everything was…"

I maneuvered until my body was pressed against his side. I wrapped my arms around him as the blanket slipped down to my waist. His eyes burned darkly as they trailed down my body. Then, he closed his eyes as I whispered, "I know what you're trying to say, Jake. I feel the same."

"I've imagined it before, Bells, but…" He shook his head and opened his eyes to stare into mine, "…my imagination is nothing compared to what's real."

I felt a blush coat my cheeks, but I didn't look away from him. I ran my palm over his chest and smiled wider when I realized that I now knew every part of his body. Every nook and every curve. Every smooth section of his skin and every strong muscle. I continued to run my fingers over his abdominal muscles in slow brushes until he huskily asked, "Will you tell me what you're thinking of? You're smiling so brightly that I just need to know."

"I'm thinking of how beautiful you are," I glanced at him and chuckled at his embarrassed expression. I said, "I'm thinking of memorizing every part of you. And I'm thinking of how smooth your skin is."

He grinned and said, "My body has nothing on yours, baby."

I rolled my eyes and snorted, but he suddenly pulled me on top of him and ran his hands from my shoulder blades to the curve of my hip. The stirring in the pit of my stomach fluttered to life as he kept running his hands over me. He stated, "I'm serious, Bella. You're so beautiful that it hurts me sometimes. I know that you might not understand what I mean, but-"

I cut him off quietly by putting my hands on his cheeks and saying, "Jake, I get what you're saying. I feel the same way. And…you made me feel beautiful. You're making me feel beautiful right now. That's something no one else has ever done."

His dark brown eyes flared with emotion as his lips lifted up on one side to offer a sideways smile. He murmured, "Hmm…I'm willing to try making you feel even more beautiful. If you're up for that."

I leaned in to kiss him and whispered, "I'm definitely up for that."

* * *

Just after dawn broke, Jake sighed and murmured, "I have to go phase and talk to the boys. They're all probably preparing by now, honey."

And just like that my beautiful feelings were killed by massive fear. Jake stood and hunched over before disappearing out of the tent. I sat up and ran my hands through my hair a few times before digging through my pack and changing into fresh clothes. I stepped out of the tent and was tying my hair into a ponytail as I walked to Jake. He was in wolf form and I couldn't read his facial expression, so I had no idea what his brothers were telepathically telling him.

I grabbed my jacket off of the boulder Jake and I had been sitting on the night before- he had picked it up and set it near the campfire the night before. I slipped the jacket on and sat near Jake's front paws. Carefully, he sat on his haunches beside me and stared straight ahead. I watched as his eyes flickered in all directions. Continuously watching. My anxiety was mounting by the time he took several steps away from me and transformed right in front of my eyes. He stood up completely naked and his face was grim. He murmured, "Alice Cullen had another vision."

All thoughts of Jacob being naked left my mine and my heart skipped a beat as I roughly asked, "Of what?"

Jake ran his hand through his hair in a frustrated manner before replying, "She saw the red-haired leech and all of her bloodthirsty minions about fifty miles from Washington. They were still coming in from the east. And Victoria plans on heading to the field where she first met you and the Cullens."

I murmured shakily, "The baseball field."

Then I gasped and asked, "Fifty miles means they'll be there within minutes, right?"

Jake nodded as he came to my side and knelt down. He took my chin in his palm very gently and placed a kiss on my nose. He whispered, "I have to stay in wolf form from here on out, Bella. The boys and the Cullens are already in that field. Everybody is in position and I need to be able to see what's happening through my brothers' eyes. You just stay right next to me."

He kissed me once more and I tasted desperation. Fear bred and multiplied in my stomach, but I held it at bay. Jake firmly instructed, "If I move away from you, don't follow me. That's very important. Don't follow me. I need you to understand that if I'm walking away from you, then it is for a reason. I'm going to be very frustrated and my wolf will be pulling on me, so just stay still. Don't move at all. Stay right here."

He kissed me once more and it was as desperate as the kiss before. Then, he took several steps away from me and transformed without looking away from my eyes. Before me stood a powerful, intimidating Protector. An awe-inspiring creature that hid an honorable man inside. I did as he had told me and stayed in the same position. He padded toward me and began to pace five feet to the left and then five feet to the right. I watched him as he alternated between looking at the perimeter and glancing at me. My heart was thundering in my chest as I clasped my hands together.

The seconds ticked by like a waterfall. Simply pouring one after another. There was no stopping time. I was helpless again. Jake growled lowly and my eyes zeroed in on his canine face. His steps became irritated as the seconds passed and soon he was trotting instead of walking. The atmosphere was filled with Jake's increasing anger- I knew the fight had begun. Nearly two hundred miles away, my home was being invaded by bloodthirsty demons looking to murder me.

Time passed and my body began to ache with tension. Five excruciating minutes passed and all I could do was wonder and worry and try not to scream. _Who was dead? What was happening? Was the pack okay? Was the Cullens? Had Victoria been killed? How many newborns had been killed? Who was winning?_

Suddenly, Jake inhaled sharply. As if we were tied to the same body, I inhaled as well. Jake's eyes met mine for a split-second before he lifted his muzzle and howled piercingly. _Something was wrong. _ My heart began to pound and my mind became frantic. _I knew it. Something was wrong._ The look in his eyes and the noises he was making told me exactly what I needed to know. My breathing became shallow and my chest heaved as Jake growled and snapped his jaws.

He turned to face the trail leading to the base of the mountain and snarled menacingly. I wanted to move so badly, to go to him, to beg him to explain what was going on, but I stayed as still as I possibly could. _I had to listen to him._ Jake snarled again and let out a screaming howl that caused my skin to break out in goose-bumps. White foam was forming around his muzzle as he snapped his jaws and bared his gleaming teeth at the forest below us.

I didn't understand why he was doing that- there was no enemy for miles. And then I stood up abruptly as my sluggish thoughts made the connection.

Yet we were already out of time.

Multiple pale blurs had swiftly come to a stand-still at the bottom of the trail. Only fifty yards from us stood vampires. _Six of them._ Ruby-red eyes, sadistic grins showing off sharp teeth. The fear spiked inside of my chest and ripped apart my heart. Ripped into my body and began to eat at me. I choked loudly and tried sucking in air through my teeth, but found that I couldn't.

I sobbed, "No." And then two males ran forward in a pale blur.

The terror was so acute that tears could not even form in my eyes. I stood rigidly without breath as Jake stayed poised. Less than a second passed before Jake abruptly lunged forward, sank his teeth in the first vampire's throat and viciously tore its throat out. The pale body dropped to the mountain side as the second vampire, a male that was much bigger than the first, came barreling toward Jake's right side. His wolf body whipped around so quickly that he was simply a blur of colors as well.

The vampire smashed his concrete fist into Jake's shoulder. There was a loud crunching noise and Jake snarled piercingly in response before he turned and snapped his powerful jaws at the vampire's exposed neck. The vampire's head rolled down the sloping trail as his body crumbled to the ground.

Jake whipped back around and bared his teeth at the remaining four vampires. Three were male and one was a blonde female. All looked in a rage. All were hissing and snarling and utterly lethal. One male with a brute build and a shaved head screamed furiously, "You will die, dog! And we will drink the blood from your precious human's neck. I will personally watch the life leave her eyes."

Jake snarled back in response. Then, right before my eyes, in unison, the vampires slowly walked up the trail. I didn't know my worst fear until that moment. It wasn't my death or my father's death. It wasn't my mother's death or the Cullens' deaths. It was Jake's death. _His death was my absolute worst nightmare._

Two males started turning to the right as the other male and female shifted their positions to the left- they were surrounding Jake. And I could see the way Jake spread his paws outward as if he was waiting for a terrible impact and he was attempting to brace himself beforehand. The female with blonde hair cocked her head to the side and giggled in a high-pitched way. "Look at her. _This_ is what Victoria wants so badly?"

The two males on the left jumped forward. One swiped at Jake's head while the other smashed a fist into his hip. Jake dodged the head swipe, but the second vampire's fist-smash caused Jake to lose his footing. As his back legs gave out from underneath him, he ripped the head off of the vampire in front of his face. At the same time, the female let out a wailing, death-promising screech and lunged from the right as Jake's back was turned.

The male vampire was ripping at Jake's fur as he tried continuously to snap Jake's hind leg in half, but Jake wasn't lying still. He was whirling and moving and snapping and jumping and swiping out with his front claws as the male vampire kept reaching for Jake's leg. I screamed without being consciously aware of it as the female landed on Jake's back. She ripped at him with vengeance. Her arms were pale, lethal, killing weapons as she screeched and split his skin apart. I watched in horror as blood began to pour out of Jake. Red rivers of blood. _This isn't real. This isn't real. How could this be real?_ I was terrified that she would snap his spine with the brute force she was inflicting upon him.

The third vampire didn't seem to be feverishly moving like the other two. Instead, he was circling Jake slowly. His blood-red eyes seemed to be searching for a weak point to attack from. Jake bent his body at an angle that should have been impossible, but it was close enough for him to slam his paw against the side of the male's head. And I watched as the male's skull crumpled as a cookie would if it was smashed by a child's fist. His large body dropped away from Jake's hind legs like a fragile, broken doll. _Four of them were dead._

Jake bucked and snarled and howled and lunged at the last male. The female was done ripping at him now. Her arms and chest were splattered with his blood. Black spots danced in my vision from lack of oxygen. I sucked in painful breaths that tore at my throat like razorblades as the woman began to lung forward. It took me a second to realize what she was trying to do- she was attempting to wrap her arms around Jake's neck.

Jake was constantly moving and jumping and hurdling in circles to jar the female off of him, but it wasn't working. Her hold on him was deadly and solid. The male was grinning from ear to ear as he abruptly dived downward and plowed into Jake's paws. I heard several snaps as Jake's bones broke and then, I heard the sound of Jake's canine whine. He collapsed in a crashing heap as I stumbled forward and began to scream again. The sounds that were tearing through me weren't human at all- I sounded like a wounded animal.

Almost immediately, Jake was scrambling to his feet. But the single instant of vulnerability was all it took for the woman to maneuver herself into position and wrap her arms around his neck. I screamed as loudly as I was capable of, _"No, no! Don't kill him! Stop! Kill me! Kill me!"_

The woman's grip on Jake's neck did not loosen, but I heard her chilling giggle as she glanced at me and snarled, "Sorry, sweetheart, but we have orders."

The male stood and smashed his foot down on Jake's ribcage. Earsplitting snapping noises like that of a tree splitting apart filled the air and Jake let out another wounded howling wail. I screamed again and began to choke and sob hysterically. Tears overflowed me now as I took another step forward. _What could I do? What in the hell could I do? Where was the pack?_ I knew that Jake's brothers could see what was happening through his eyes. _So where were they?_ I knew that they must be on their way. Unless they were dead.

I sobbed again and watched as Jake's body stopped struggling. The male grinned sickly and joyfully stated, "He is giving up."

He ordered, "Hold the dog still. I want her to watch him as he dies."

He turned to walk to me and I fisted my hands at my sides. If Jake was to die, then so would I. Yet I knew that there was still a small chance. A single hope that somebody, absolutely anybody, was on the way to rescue us. To rescue Jake. We simply needed time. More time.

I tried stalling them.

I took a shallow breath and asked, "Is that what you do? Follow Victoria's every order?"

The male smirked as he came closer to me. He touched my cheek and then suddenly pulled away and slapped me across the face. The contact felt like a truck barreling into me- I collapsed to the ground while he laughed quietly. My ears were ringing and my vision was spotted with dark dots once again, but I managed to pull myself to my feet. I blinked rapidly as the vampire's lips moved, but I couldn't hear him. I was confused and dizzy and my stomach was rolling with fear- I thought I would throw up.

But then my blurry vision managed to latch onto Jake's body in the background behind the male vampire. He was still in wolf form, but he was so still. So still. _Was he alive? Of course he was. He had to be. He just had to be._ The woman's hold loosened on his neck and she turned toward us.

"He's dead," She said, "His heartbeat has stopped."

The air in my lungs escaped with a deep, breaking sob and my world broke. It dissolved. It crashed down into an unforgiving, unspeakable mess as I screamed. There were no words. Only sounds. Wailing, crying, screaming, sobbing, choking, shattering shrieks. The vampires laughed at me. Laughed at Jacob's death as if he was absolutely nothing. As if his life meant nothing. As if nothing was wrong in the world when, in fact, the world was dead. There was no world. Not if he wasn't in it.

I didn't remember moving, but my legs must have because I found myself slamming my fists against the vampire's chest over and over and over again. The screams never stopped and I was sure they never would. He held me in a painful grip and watched in amusement as I did everything in my power to hurt him. But nothing worked. I couldn't hurt him- he was too strong. Too inhuman. I was only proving to be a form of entertainment.

"You bastard!" I screamed, "You sick, evil, monster! He was right!"

I stepped away from the vampire, but was too close to losing my mind to realize that the vampire wasn't killing me. He wasn't even trying- he was only watching me. I screeched as I yanked on my hair and sobbed hysterically, "Jake was right. You're all monsters. Evil monsters. Why didn't I listen? _Why didn't I listen?"_

I whirled around and smashed my throbbing fists against the unknown vampire's chest once again. He chuckled and grabbed my flying fist in mid-air. He tossed my wrist away as I screeched as piercingly as I could, _"Kill me! Kill me! What are you waiting for? Kill me, you murdering, bloodsucking bastard!"_

He began to smirk, but suddenly froze. His red eyes widened as he spun around with inhuman speed. My heart jumped beats erratically as my chest heaved. I didn't understand what was happening in front of me- it took precious moments before I comprehended. The male yelled, "No!" Yet it was too late. The female had been watching the show as I broke down, so her face was turned away from Jake's limp body. Her arms were folded across her chest and she was smirking.

It happened in less than two seconds.

Jake suddenly leaped up with an awe-inspiring speed and latched onto the back of the female's skull. My heartbeat took off into overdrive while slamming against my ribs with the most bittersweet pain. _How was this happening?_ His teeth snapped around the back of the woman's skull and crushed her instantly. Her headless body began to make the very short descent to the ground, yet Jake was already charging across the distance before her body ever touched the ground. The male vampire snarled and darted forward to meet Jake head-on.

My body was shaking uncontrollably and I could barely stand on my feet. I was hyperventilating as the two enemies smashed into one another. There was a death-defying roar from Jake that shook the ground under my feet as he snapped and maneuvered and dodged the vampire, who was trying to get ahold of Jake's neck. My chest was in pain as if I could have a heart attack at any moment, but I continued to watch. I cut off my erratic breathing by holding my breath.

Jake's foaming mouth latched onto the vampire's lower arm and he yanked heavily while the vampire screamed in pain. Jake spit the hand out of his mouth and it fell to the ground as he darted forward within a fraction of a second. The vampire was still trying to recover his balance, but Jake was on him again. Ripping and tearing and breaking the pale body down. He was lunging and taking large, lethal chunks out of the vampire's legs.

He dropped to his knees and Jake lunged forward swiftly, but the vampire blocked Jake's attack and smashed his fist against Jake's shoulder. There was another loud snapping noise and Jake abruptly dropped to the ground. He struggled and scrambled sloppily to his feet, but the mangled vampire was already wrapping his one arm around Jake's wounded ribs. He squeezed tightly and I watched the pain fill in Jake's eyes for a second before Jake started whining and roaring and growling.

He struggled and moved continuously, so the damaged vampire's grip faltered. Jake took that moment of weakness to go in for the kill- his muzzle wrapped around the vampire's exposed throat and he began to dig and claw and bite and eat. The vampire's dying screams filled the air as I released the breath I had been holding. Jake did not stop until the vampire's body was in small, pulverized pieces.

Then, he struggled to his feet. He was walking sideways and struggling to make his way to me- he was dragging his back leg oddly and blood was dripping from his entire body. His front shoulder was swelling and he was limping deeply with his front right paw barely holding his weight. His breathing was wavering and ragged as he collapsed less than a foot from me. He took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes before letting out a soft, almost non-exist whine.

"Jake…" I choked, "Jake…no. No, please."

I ran forward while stumbling until I landed on my knees in a painful heap. I ripped my jacket off and tried wrapping it around the deepest wound that was free-flowing with the largest amount of blood.

I kissed the space between his eyes and watched as he opened them. They fluttered heavily as if he could barely hold them open. He whined once more before his eyes dropped closed again. His breath was becoming shallower as I pressed my jacket to the wound- I could feel his blood beginning to soak through the material instantly. My sobs increased in strength and noised as I sobbed, "Call your brothers to you, Jake. Call them to you."

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**AN:** _...Yes, I know. I'm utterly evil, but I'm not done just yet._


	30. Chapter 30

**AN:** _Thank you for reviewing. I'd like to warn you that this chapter might make some of you sad or more worried than you already are. Either way, just go with it- I have a set plot! Thank you all._

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He gave me no response- I wasn't even sure if he could hear me any longer. The rustic smell of blood was filling my senses and all I could hear was the uneven, barely present threads of breath coming from deep within his chest. My mind was frantic; my body was going into complete hysteria. I didn't know what to do. I watched as a smaller gash on Jake's back slowly began to heal and a pitifully small piece of hope attached itself to my heart. I sobbed and pressed my face against the soft fur of his body. "Jake, please, please…don't go."

"Don't leave me." I took a shuddering breath as tears poured down my face, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. This should have never happened…it's my fault…my fault. Oh, God, Jake. Look at me. _Please."_

The sobs were gripping my body so tightly and my ears were still ringing so loudly that I didn't, at first, hear the howls. But then I did.

I gasped and wiped frantically at the tears. My hands were bloody now as I pressed the jacket closer to the gaping wound on the side of Jake's torso- it was the width of my arm and likely several inches deep. "Jake, I hear them. I hear your brothers. You're going to be fine. You'll be okay. They're on the way to help you."

I softly ran one bloody hand over his snout and murmured shakily, "Can you hear me? I love you. I'm so sorry, Jake. I should have told you the moment I realized it- I shouldn't have been so scared to tell you how I feel about you. I waited too long."

I continued softly petting him with one hand while holding the jacket to his wound with the other hand. I prayed silently, although I had no idea who I was praying to. I simply prayed that Jake's god would answer. Jake held his faith inside of him and his faith is what saved my life. I only hoped his faith could save him as well.

Seconds passed as Jake's precious blood continued to drip to the ground. And then the Cullens were beside us. Surrounding us. I spotted Carlisle instantly and sobbed hysterically, "Carlisle, please. Help him. Please, save him."

He sank gracefully to his knees and immediately began to pull various objects out of a black bag. Edward and Jasper came to our sides as cold hands gently wrapped around my waist and pulled me from Jake's side. I kicked and protested through my sobs, "Get off of me! Let me go- he needs me!"

Alice spoke quickly and firmly, "You have to let Carlisle and the boys work on Jacob. You have to calm down, Bella. You're only in their way. If anybody can save Jacob's life, it is Carlisle. He's been a doctor for hundreds of years, Bella. Think logically."

There were growls and snarls and huffs at the base of the mountain. I struggled to see them, but I couldn't. Then, they came running up the slope. My hope. Sam. Jared. Paul. Embry. Quil. All of them in human form. A small part of me felt relief, but the majority of my being was filled with panic. They didn't take their eyes from their brother as they rushed forward. Sam demanded, "Can you save him, Cullen?"

Sam dropped to his knees on the opposite side of Jake's body and ran a hand over Jake's fur. He pulled his hand back and blood was smeared across his palm. I had never seen Sam Uley vulnerable and scared until that moment. And Sam's vulnerability caused a door to burst open inside of me.

I began to choke. To drown. I bent over and wrapped my arms around my stomach as Alice brought me to the ground gently. Paul's voice rang out as he demanded loudly, "Is she hurt? Is Bella okay?"

"No, she's in shock. She's going into a state of complete hysteria." Carlisle's voice was quick, but he sounded far away as if I was under water while he was above it. And I supposed he was. Because I knew what drowning felt like and this was certainly it. I couldn't breathe.

"What do we do?" I heard Quil say. He sounded like the young, sixteen year old that he was. He asked, "What can you do? You're a doctor- so can't you help him?"

"Yes, yes." Carlisle replied quickly, "But we must move him as rapidly as possible. His bones are healing into fragments. He isn't healing properly at all. I must get him closer to Forks. I do not have the needed materials here."

"We have to get him to phase back to his human form." Paul said.

"Are you insane?" Quil demanded, "He's wounded so badly that he'll crush his bones all over again. His broken bones could puncture one of his organs."

I looked up through blurry vision and watched Sam's face; he was the only one I could look to with Jacob so wounded. His expression grew hard and he said, "It's a chance we have to take. Jake will die within minutes unless we get him secured in his human form."

"Yes," Carlisle answered, "None of us can run Jake back to Forks. The ride has to be as smooth as possible to avoid puncturing organs with his shattered bones. As you said, there is a chance by transforming that he will puncture an organ anyways, but we have little choice. If you could get him to the Jeep and we put it on the interstate, then I can secure him in place and there will be less chance of jarring his body."

Sam loudly said, "Jacob, did you hear that? We need you to phase back. You need to be in human form. Phase back."

Jake did not move. He did not respond.

Embry and Quil bent down and began to talking lowly to him, but he still didn't respond. Sam tried once more and then urgently said, "Bella, get over here and talk to him. Now. Hurry."

I stumbled upward and darted to his side. I bent down and ran my hand over his face. "Jake, you need to transform. You have to…Jake, I need you to phase to your human form. You'll…you'll die if you don't. Please, listen to me."

Seconds passed and then his legs twitched. He let out a deep gasp and pried his eyes open to meet my own. I murmured, "That's good. That's great, Jake, now phase back. We have to get you into the Jeep. I know it hurts, but you have to. I need you. I need you, so you have to do this."

Jake's eyes fluttered close and he struggled, but did no more. Sam was directly behind me and he urgently said, "You have to command him, Bella. Tell him why he can't leave you. Tell him what will happen to you if he does leave this earth. He doesn't care about himself. Only you. His life revolves around you. That's how the imprint works."

I gulped and demanded shakily, "Jacob Ephraim, open your eyes. _You_ can't leave me- I'll die if you do. _You_ made me stay here. You made me choose to live, so you have to do the same. I'm making you do the same. Are you listening to me? Don't you dare give up- you phase back to your human form right now."

There was a tension-filled pause and then Sam roughly yanked me away from Jake's body as he began to wither and whine in a high-pitched way. An instant passed, Jake's body shrunk down in mass, and then his human form was lying on the rocky ground. His face was contorted in intense pain and he was gasping loudly with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. His naked body was curled tightly inward like a ball as if he was trying to protect himself from the pain. He was covered in blood and dirt and terrible wounds.

The pack moved forward instantly and wrapped their hands around his legs, back and shoulders. In unison, they hoisted him up and held his damaged body at shoulder height. As soon as they began to lift him, he threw his head back and let out a blood-curdling scream that shocked my system. I was shaking so badly that I thought, for a feverish moment, that I was having some sort of seizure. The pack took off down the slope with Jake screaming deeply and cursing in gurgled bursts the entire time. He sounded as if somebody was torturing him. As if somebody was murdering him. Killing him.

"Come on, Bella." Esme came to my side as I watched with swollen, red eyes. She softly asked, "May I carry you? We'll get to Jacob much faster."

I nodded wordlessly as I attempted to stop my sobs. She cradled me against her chest as she would with a small child. She crooned softly to me while she ran with the rest of the Cullens right beside her. Each second that passed without me being by Jake's side made me more and more nauseated. By the time we reached the Jeep, I was so dizzy that I couldn't see well at all.

Esme gently set me on my feet and I watched with double vision as the pack tried maneuvering Jake's body into the car. It took a moment to notice that his body was limp and his head was lolling to the side- his eyes were closed. I gasped loudly, "Jake…"

"He's unconscious, Bella." Carlisle appeared at my side as he touched my cheek with a cool hand. He stared at me for a few seconds before declaring, "Her cheek is bruising and she has a severe concussion. Someone needs to watch her and keep her awake for the next twenty-four hours. I can treat her after I've treated Jake."

He asked, "Are you experiencing dizziness? A light-headed feeling or double vision?"

I nodded vaguely and tried walking past him toward the car, but he gently touched my shoulder until I looked at him. He said, "Bella, you can't sit in the back of the Jeep. I'm about to secure his body in place, so he cannot move. If you jolt him..."

"I-I have to be in the car with him." I stuttered quietly.

Carlisle's golden eyes showed great sympathy as he suggested, "Get into the passenger seat. I will be driving and the pack will run within the forest beside us. As will the rest of my family."

Wordlessly, I climbed into the passenger seat and twisted my body until I was staring at the backseat. At Jake. He was so still and so pale. I had never seen Jacob pale before. His normal golden skin was now a dull tan. The gaping wound on the side of his torso seemed to be healing with his natural ability, but his ribs were all wrong. _So incredibly wrong._ His torso was bulging on one side and I could easily see the misshape of several of his rib bones. His left shoulder was purple and black and swollen twice its normal size.

He had shallow gashes on his face and deeper slices all along his sides and legs. His left leg was covered in deep purple splotches and his ankle was severely swollen and crooked. There was a section of his leg where a bone was poking upward and nearly splitting through the skin.

Carlisle climbed into the Jeep and reeved the engine. I barely caught a glimpse of the boys as they transformed and began to fly through the forest as wolves before Carlisle was speeding down the trail and toward the road. A glance at the speed-gauge informed me that we were driving one hundred miles an hour. Once we were on the highway, Carlisle sped up even faster. But I was too terrified for Jake to even think of slowing down.

We did not speak as the scenery flew past us at a surreal pace, yet it still took entirely too long for us to reach Forks. My whole body was aching from the awkward position I was sitting in, but I didn't dare move. I kept my eyes on the backseat. On Jake. He was still unconscious and my gaze stayed zeroed in on his chest. I watched it as it rose and fell. In and out. In and out. _Breathe, Jake. Breathe._ Time passed too slowly and too quickly at the same time. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing at all except the fact that Jake was still alive.

He was clinging to life.

When I realized we were flying past the turnoff that lead to the Cullens' house, I demanded, "Where are you going?"

He answered before I completely finished speaking, "We're going to La Push. Sam has given me permission to pass their border. I've sent Edward to the house with specific instructions- he knows exactly what I need and he will be bringing it to me."

My heart hadn't stopped hammering inside of my chest since the moment the battle began and now I felt as if it was beating this strongly and this fast to support my body and Jake's. My heartbeat was pounding for him. To keep him alive too.

The Jeep came to a screeching halt in front of the Blacks' small, red shack and Carlisle was out before I could blink. As quickly as I could, I scrambled out of the Jeep and to the back door. I pulled it open just as Sam came barreling out of the forest while still pulling his shorts on.

He asked in a deep voice, "Where do you need him at, Carlisle?"

That was the first time I'd ever heard Sam Uley speak to Carlisle Cullen with a respecting tone. As if they were equals.

Carlisle opened the opposite door and gently touched Jake's swollen ankle with cold fingers. He said, "I need somewhere with plenty of space. Whichever room is the biggest. My son will be on the way with my supplies within moments. I will need as much cold water as you can supply me with, Sam. Jake's body temperature is skyrocketing beyond his limitations."

Sam softly pushed me out of the way and demanded, "Go make sure there is room to lay him on the couch in the den, Bella."

I rushed inside and hurriedly pulled the end-table into the kitchen and hazardly shoved it as closely against the wall as I could. I rushed across the room and pulled on Billy's massive, reclining chair until it was far away from the couch. Then, I searched the kitchen cabinets frantically until I found a large bowl. I filled it with cold water and was just bringing it to the living room when the door burst open. Sam, Quil, Embry and Paul entered while carrying Jake.

He was groaning lowly and sweating profusely as the boys lowered him to the couch. They held him up until he was hovering an inch off of the couch cushions and Sam warned, "This is going to hurt, Jake. We have to set you down."

They all released him and his body sunk lower by that single inch. But it might as well as been a hundred feet- Jake screamed and then his scream abruptly cut off and he let out a strangled noise. He exhaled sharply and his body quaked before he moaned agonizingly.

Carlisle and Edward came into the room followed shortly by Jared, who was watching both of them intently. They walked slowly to Jake's side and bent down. All of the wolves stepped back expect Sam. He bent down inches from the Cullens and watched as Edward handed several syringes filled with clear liquid to Carlisle. Sam asked, "What are you giving him?"

"Morphine." Carlisle answered as he carefully stuck Jake in the arm with all three shots. He explained as he began to hook up a slender needle into Jake's wrist. Edward was busily working on connecting a small hose to the needle. "This is a morphine drip. It is triple what the average human being can handle, but I know his extreme temperature will burn off the medication quickly."

"What about his bones?" I blurted, "Can you fix them?"

"Yes," Carlisle glanced at me before saying, "Bring the water to me, Bella."

I walked forward in a shaky daze and held the metal bowl out. Edward turned and gently took the bowl from me, but not before catching my gaze. Then, he turned back toward Carlisle and handed over the bowl.

Carlisle stated, "Everyone might want to stand back. I'll need a steady supply of cold water, so keep filling up containers and bringing them to me."

Edward stood up and backed toward me. I tried to step forward, but his fingertips touched my shoulder and he murmured, "He is fevered, Bella. Stay right here. This is for your own safety."

I jerked my arm away from him in irritation before taking a noticeable step toward Sam. Without words, I drew a line. And everyone in the room understood that line clearly. Carlisle had been watching the exchange, but now he turned and splashed the water across Jake's face and chest.

Jake gasped loudly and sucked in a small amount of water. His body jerked and he coughed loudly before wrapping his arms around his torso and started alternating between breathlessly cursing and moaning painfully. He muttered brokenly, "What…the…hell?"

I breathed a wobbly sigh of relief before murmuring, "Jake…"

Carlisle bent down and explained, "Jacob, I have to assess how many bones are broken. I will have to get close to you, but I want you to understand that I am no threat to you. I wish you no harm- I simply have to reset your bones."

We waited a moment for a response and then Jacob mumbled unintelligible words. Carlisle did not turn to look at me as he said, "Somebody needs to detain Bella. Possibly take her out of the house."

"What?" I demanded in a rough voice, "No."

Sam grabbed me gently and held me in place as Carlisle bent down and brushed his hands all over Jake's naked body. Jake growled and twitched and gritted his teeth while grimacing. Carlisle said, "I need some of you to hold Jacob down. He'll try to move or possibly attack."

Sam nodded toward the rest of the pack. They rushed to surround the couch- Embry and Quil reached their long arms over the back of the couch and placed their hands in various places. Jared came to the right and placed both hands on Jacob's uninjured shoulder. Paul hovered closely, but didn't touch Jake.

Carlisle ordered, "Edward, find a bowl and continuously pour water on him."

Edward moved passed Sam and me to do exactly as he was instructed. My gaze stayed on Jacob's sweaty, contorted face as Carlisle gently placed his palm on Jacob's leg. He warned, "Hold steady now."

Then, he slammed his palm against the splintered bone straining against the skin of Jake's leg.

The screaming that tore past Jacob's lips was like nothing I had ever heard in my entire life. It was the sound of absolute suffering. My legs immediately gave up and I crumpled to the ground while sobbing in large, broken gasps. He screamed and screamed and screamed until that was all I could hear. His pain was so acute that I felt it within my soul. My hands clutched at my chest- I was so sure that my chest was collapsing. It made no logical sense, but I knew I was connected to Jake's body.

His pain was my pain. His shattered body was my shattered body. I watched the boys hold Jacob's struggling, screaming body in place as Carlisle quickly worked to snap other bones in place. I slapped my hands across my ears and sobbed desperately, "Please, stop. Oh God, stop it. You're hurting him. You're hurting him. No, no, no, no."

The roaring yells continued until I felt vomit rise in my throat. Sam continued to support my small body as my head swayed with dizziness. I was sweating terribly as I knotted my fingers in my hair and put my head between my knees. Jake's unearthly screams finally choked off and suddenly stopped. I gasped and struggled against Sam's hold as I attempted to reach Jake's side. I was delirious with heat and pain and panic and fear. I cried, "Jacob. Jake, wake up! _Wake up!"_

"He's unconscious, Bella." Edward spoke as he poured another fountain of cold water on Jake's body. He went back to the sink and filled another bowl and repeated the process.

"It is better if he stays unconscious." Carlisle spoke up as he filled another syringe and poked the needle into Jake's injured shoulder. He explained, "Edward, I need all of my x-ray equipment. Sam, I'll need to move all of the furniture out of this room and the kitchen. The machine is roughly the size of this couch, so we'll need more space to work with."

Sam spoke firmly from behind me, "Jared and Paul, I want you to do as Carlisle says. Why don't you move the couch against the south wall over there? Be careful and try not to jolt Jake."

The boys immediately moved into action as Edward walked to Quil, handed him a fresh bowl of cold water, and then walked out of the house and closed the door quietly behind him.

Sam rubbed a warm hand against my shoulder as I focused on breathing. He ordered, "Somebody get the chair out of Jake's bedroom and place it next to the head of the couch."

Embry walked down the tiny hallway and returned seconds later with a small chair in his hands. He waited until Jared and Paul had successfully maneuvered the couch tightly against the wall before he set the chair about a foot from Jake's head. Sam carried me to the chair, gently set me down and quietly whispered, "He'll be okay, little sister. I promise."

And then he kissed the top of my head and started filling up bowls of water just as Quil was doing. I stared at the strongest man I knew lying broken in front of me and allowed silent tears to slip down my cheeks.

* * *

**AN:** _...so? Thoughts?_


	31. Chapter 31

Time slithered by slowly and excruciatingly. My fever ceased, but now I was cold. So cold. My skin was clammy and slicked with cooling sweat. My body was filled with deep aches. My eyes felt heavy, but I didn't shut them- I had to watch Jake. He was unconscious for hours. The only sign of life coming from him was the faint rise and fall of his chest.

His legs were healing, but his shoulder and ribs had been left untouched by Carlisle. Edward and Carlisle spent a short amount of time maneuvering the large x-ray machine into the tiny house, yet after setting the equipment up I was informed that Jake's leg bone must begin to heal before he could be transferred to the x-ray machine.

So his shoulder, ribs and back were left unattended for several hours before Carlisle ran his hands along Jake's legs and declared that the bones were now connected. All of the wolves stayed in the house in various places. All of them took turns splashing ice-cold water on Jake's unbelievably scorching body. And eventually, the majority of them slumped against the kitchen floor and fell into fitful sleep.

Paul and Sam were the only two who stood near me and Jake then. Neither of them talked, but Sam began to pour water on Jake for lack of anything else to do. By this point, the couch fabric was completely ruined and the wooden floor was soaking wet. After Carlisle injected yet another round of medication into Jake's body, he turned to me and asked, "How is your vision now, Bella?"

I hadn't spoken. I hadn't moved. I hadn't thought or concentrated on anything besides Jake's face in hours. My voice was nearly non-existent as I mumbled, "I'm fine."

Carlisle brushed his cold fingers across my bruised cheek and murmured, "There is a light amount of swelling along your cheekbone. A cold compress would bring the swell down quickly."

I shook my head without taking my eyes from Jake's body. I was glad that somebody had thought to cover his lower half. I didn't want him feeling any more vulnerable than he needed to.

There was a long pause before I scratchily asked, "Will you fix his shoulder and ribs, please?"

"Of course, Bella," He answered quietly, "But concussions are serious. You could have internal swelling inside of your skull; I must be thorough about your condition to know if you need medical treatment."

I slowly replied, "He's lying there with his bones crushed inside of his body. He is in so much pain that his brain forced him into unconsciousness. I am fine, but he isn't. So if you want to help me, Carlisle, I'll ask again for you to reset his bones."

He nodded once before turning to Sam and Paul. He quietly explained, "I have just given him more Morphine, so he should stay under. I'll need you both to move him to the bed over here, please."

Stiffly, I stood up and dragged the chair out of the way. Sam softly touched my shoulder before wordlessly bending down and scooping Jake's upper body into his arms. Paul carefully maneuvered his hands underneath Jake's legs and then they carried him across the room and gently laid him on a white bed that was attached to a tube-like cylinder.

Beside the machine were several screens with various numbers and lines on them. Edward pressed multiple buttons and then the bed Jake was lying on mechanically pulled him inside of the tube. The machine was mostly made of clear material, so I could see that there was a horizontal bar that lit up and began to move forward and backward along the upper parts of Jake's body. The sides of the tube allowed us to see two more bars with lights attached. They ran along vertically and underneath the bottom of the x-ray machine.

Several sober minutes passed with only the humming sound of the machine to hear. Eventually, the machine's lights faded and the process came to a halt. Numerous pictures began to pop up on the screens as Edward pressed a button on a small control panel and then the machine pushed Jake out on the bed.

Carlisle stepped toward the digital screens with a small frown on his face. I wrapped my arms tightly around my stomach as I exhaled heavily. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other before asking, "Carlisle…?"

He pointed to one particular picture and stated, "His legs are healing up nicely. I must say that his rate of healing is amazing. His tibia was snapped in three places on his right leg, but now there are hardly any signs that his tibia was broken in the first place. All he has to show for this injury is rapidly healing hairline fractures."

He pointed to the picture next to the previous one before saying, "His left leg is doing better, but the break was extremely jagged. The sections are re-attaching themselves, but the bone isn't as far along in the healing process as his right tibia."

He sighed quietly and explained, "His shoulder is what bothers me the most. If you look right here, you can see a shattering break along his clavicle. The break isn't clean; the bone snapped and hairline fractures carried upward a whole inch. But his phenomenal healing gifts stepped in and sewed the bone back crooked. This means the bone will have to be broken once again before I can set it correctly."

I inhaled sharply and exhaled shakily before he continued, "His scapula seems to have a dozen hairline fractures. I'm sure it was shattered hours earlier, but has now begun to heal itself. His shoulder has been pulled out of socket. I can fix this, but it will be extremely painful for him unless I can find a dosage effective enough to keep Jake unconscious long enough for me to perform surgery."

"Surgery?" I whispered breathlessly as I swayed on my feet.

Sam grabbed my elbow and asked, "Surgery for what? His shoulder?"

"Yes," Carlisle explained, "People commonly call it the shoulder joint, but actually the shoulder consists of two joints. These joints work together to allow the shoulder to rotate the way that it does. When these two joints are disconnected, the shoulder is rendered useless. His humerus bone has been yanked from the socket, which has caused the cartilage, muscles, and ligaments to be ripped apart. I can't promise his muscles, ligaments, and nerves will be in proper order unless I personally perform surgery."

I stated quickly, "Then, you have to do it."

"Can you find medication strong enough to knock him out, Carlisle?" Sam asked.

Carlisle nodded and said, "I have a couple choices I can test out."

Sam quietly replied, "Test them."

"What about his back?" I asked shakily, "…all of the wounds."

"The majority of those are healing perfectly on their own, Bella." Carlisle replied, "The gouge on his side is cause for concern, but as long as it is cleansed continuously it won't gain infection."

* * *

After three mistrials with dosages, Carlisle managed to find a drug suitable to keep Jacob numb and unconscious. It took several minutes following the discovery before Sam was able to talk me out of standing by Jake's side as Carlisle performed the surgery- he brought me to Jake's bedroom. I spent a silent hour crying with my face against Jake's pillow before Sam came to my side.

We stared at one another without speaking before Sam murmured, "Carlisle was able to fix his shoulder, Bella. He's pumping more medicine into Jake before he resets Jake's ribs."

I let out a shaky breath and whispered, "He has to…break them. Break his bones."

"Yeah," Sam answered seriously, "Yeah, he has to break them."

I stood up abruptly and shoved past the bedroom door. Sam followed behind me while cautiously saying, "Bella, I think you should stand outside with the guys."

"No." I mumbled as I unsteadily went to the side of the hospital bed Jake was now laid across. I didn't bother asking Carlisle where he retrieved it from- for all I knew, it might have been stolen from the local hospital. Jake's shoulder was covered in a massive case of white gauze and tape. His eyes were closed and his face was still too pale.

Carlisle was busily checking Jake's vitals and Edward was hooking another small, clear bag of Morphine to the plastic tube running in Jake's right wrist. Sam murmured, "You'll only have a repeat of your meltdown earlier, Bella."

"I can't leave him."

Carlisle quietly spoke, "We don't want you hurting either, Bella. Perhaps this is for the best. I'll work as quickly as possible. These medications will hopefully dull the pain. It will take no more than five minutes."

I simply repeated, "No."

Carlisle gave a tight-lipped smile before he nodded and politely said, "Very well. I'll begin. Sam, if you could hold Jacob in place. Bella, if you could back up."

I walked from the small living room and sat about ten feet away with my back against the wall. I braced my elbows against my knees in preparation for what was to come. Seconds ticked by as Sam leaned his large body over his brother's. Then, he gripped each of Jake's wrists. Carlisle asked, "Are you ready?"

Sam roughly said, "Get it over with."

That was all the permission Carlisle needed.

His pale hands fluttered against the misshapen lumps where Jake's rib cage was for a moment before pressing down swiftly and brutally. Jake's back arched upward as he inhaled wretchedly, threw his head back, and screamed piercingly. He struggled against Sam's hold weakly while Sam urgently tried calming him down.

"I'm sorry, brother, but it has to be done. We have to re-break your bones."

There was a muted snapping noise as Jake flinched violently and moaned long and deep. He was panting with his eyes shut tightly as he fisted his hands and tried surging upward once again. Sam demanded, "Jake, stop trying to fight us. We're helping you."

There were several more snapping noises while Jake breathlessly gasped and choked and sobbed. His voice was barely understandable as he gurgled, "Bella…Bella…"

I wiped the tears from my eyes and staggered to my feet. I walked across the room and ignored Sam's quiet protest as I touched Jake's sweaty face. His eyes flew open instantly and the shiny sheen on unshed tears floating upon the surface of them caused pain to grip my heart.

He breathlessly exhaled, "Bella…my Bells."

"I'm right here." I spoke in a fragile, watery voice, "And I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded as he fought to keep his eyes open. I caressed his damp cheek as his lips moved slowly. I leaned closer so I could hear what he was struggling to say.

"You're safe. Bells…you're safe."

And then he was unconscious again.

* * *

The next twenty-four hours were enough to nearly drive me mentally insane. Carlisle had given specific instructions to us all regarding the dosage of medication to be given to Jake. Jared and Paul finally talked Sam into going to the cottage for the night. To Emily. So, Jared was in charge until Sam returned. Paul, Embry and Quil stayed outside in their wolf forms while Jared silently slept on the living room floor.

I didn't care.

I stayed on the chair while Jake slept. Hours and hours passed. The night finally gave way to dawn and with the dawn, Jake began to stir. He groaned lowly for a moment before heavily blinking. I watched him as his eyes finally found mine. His tongue darted out to wet his dry lips before he croaked, "Bella…"

I was holding his warm palm in mine as I slid off of the seat of the chair and knelt on the floor. I brought my face closer to his and whispered, "You're going to be okay, Jake. You're healing now and everything will be just fine."

He croaked, "The leeches…they're all dead."

I hadn't thought of Victoria or the rest of the army once until then, but I assumed he was correct because nobody had told me otherwise. I nodded and murmured, "Yes, Jake. I'm safe and you're safe. We're all safe."

Bit by bit, he reached up and ran his fingers across my bruised cheek. He roughly whispered, "You're…hurt. I wasn't quick enough."

A hot tear slipped down my cheek, which he caught with his thumb and gently wiped away. "I'm sorry…Bells, I should have been faster."

I touched my trembling lips to his before I said, "I don't want to ever hear you say that again."

He parted his lips as if he was about to speak, but I put my finger to his mouth and softly said, "There is no man in existence who is as strong as you. You're everything, Jake. Do you hear me?"

He nodded slightly before giving me an exhausted smile. I whispered, "There are so many things I should have told you, Jake…" Tears spilled over the rims of my eyes as I said, "And I nearly lost you…I…I almost…"

"Hey," He faintly said, "I'm here and you can tell me now."

I nodded weakly and said, "I don't know where to begin."

"Start anywhere you think of first."

I nodded, inhaled and whispered, "The first night you came into my house I was terrified of you. I was terrified because you had this aura that shined so brightly. I didn't know how to be that way and seeing you only showed me how low I was. I had never seen someone so…happy. I spent weeks just in awe over how wonderful you were to be around."

His eyes were intently watching me as I spoke, so I forced onward, "I liked you instantly. My goodness, Jake, I don't see how anybody could ever dislike you. You make me smile and you make me laugh. You make me want to live. And I should have told you these things when I first realized it all, but I didn't."

There was a long silence before he whispered, "I love you, Bella."

"And I love you." I kissed his lips again, but pulled back before he could move his lips against mine. He made a low noise in protest, but I shook my head.

"I almost died…" He whispered as he slowly gave a tired smirk, "I think I deserve a longer kiss than that."

I laughed as I wiped more tears away before whispering, "I'll kiss you for days once you're better. I promise."

His fingers wrapped around my wrist as he faintly said, "Would it be inappropriate to say I'm going to fantasy about that once I fall asleep?"

I held his hand tightly in mine and said, "No. Not at all."

Suddenly Jared's voice spoke up from across the room. "I'd say, all in all, you're pretty luck, Jake. The Vamp Doctor says you'll be out of commission for over a week."

I maneuvered myself out of the way, so Jake could look at Jared's sprawled out position on the opposite side of the room. His voice cracked as he murmured, "What about that is a good thing?"

Jared grinned as he answered, "Doc says you can't use your arm and you won't be able to bend over or move much. Looks like you'll need a little help in the shower for the next couple of days."

My jaw dropped as I looked from Jared to Jake. Both were wearing matching grins now. Jake croaked, "It beats one of the guys helping me, honey."

I smiled softly before saying, "You're such a boy."


	32. Chapter 32

"You know, Bells, your face is as red as a tomato."

Jake's amused chuckles were wonderful to hear, so I didn't bother getting annoyed at him for pointing out my obvious discomfort. My knees were hurting from kneeling beside the shower stall, but I knew it was necessary to save Jake from a shameful situation with one of his brothers. So I continued to wash his hair without replying to his comment. He was sitting on a plastic chair, which Carlisle said would irritate his healing body if he was left in a sitting position for too long.

But it was difficult to get Jake out of the shower- he seemed to be having too much fun watching me bathe him. Part of me assumed he was kidding when he suggested that I help him bathe, but he hadn't been joking. Yesterday morning after Jake first woke the wolves and Carlisle both spent an hour talking and checking him over. The rest of the day he mainly slept. Billy and Charlie returned from their trip later that evening- a brilliant lie had to be told to Charlie in order for Jake's injuries to make sense.

Then, after Charlie had to drag me away from Jake's side to go home, he gave me a stern speech about cliff-diving and how I was never allowed to attempt that particular sport with Jake and his friends because accidents like Jake's happen as a result. I endured the speech because I knew it was better to hear _that_ from my father instead of him thinking we were all insane for believing in supernatural creatures.

After school ended the next day, I drove straight to La Push and was met with a very crabby Jacob Black. He was cursing plentifully and huffing at Sam and Billy when I arrived. Sam had given me a sympathetic look before handing me Jake's medications and leaving quickly. Jake lay on the soiled couch for several minutes before he told me he was still covered in sweat and blood- he was tired of being dirty.

That was how I found myself in the tiny bathroom with Jake naked and wet.

"This is actually embarrassing, Bells…" His whisper brought me out of my rambling thoughts. I pulled gently on his head until he tilted backward and let me pour cold water on his soapy hair. I stated, "I think I'm the only one embarrassed right now."

As I rinsed his hair, he said, "No, it's kinda embarrassing for me too."

"Why?"

Jake sighed heavily and then grunted painfully. I froze and demanded, "Are you hurt? Did you pull something? Break something? Let me call Carlisle."

"Bells, honey, no." He panted quietly, "I'm alright. My ribs are just sore."

He stared straight ahead as he chuckled and nervously said, "My fantasy about us being in the shower together definitely didn't go like this. Firstly, I was actually…uh, able to participate in the events instead of just sitting here. And secondly, we were both naked. Not just me."

I choked on my laughter and acute embarrassment. He asked, "What? Are you laughing? I can't turn around to see you, so I don't know."

"It's a good thing you can't look at me!" I exclaimed as I rinsed the last of the soap off of Jake's body, "Part of me just wants to crawl under a rock right now."

His voice was softer as he asked, "Why? Bells, you've already seen me naked."

I kissed the back of his shoulder tenderly before saying, "I guess it will just take me a while to get used to it. Here, let's get you dried off."

It took several awkward minutes before I managed to completely dry him and help him slip a pair of shorts up his legs. I stepped back as he held himself in a slumped over position. I asked, "Can you walk back to the living room?"

Jake shook his head and said, "I want to go to my bedroom. That couch is ruined, Bells. It's covered in water and sweat and blood."

I tried to support some of his weight as we wobbled down the hallway, but I had a suspicion that he was actually handling all of his weight and walking by himself, which was likely hurting him immensely. By the time we made the short descent to his bedroom, he was panting and his facial muscles were straining. He plopped messily onto his mattress and then grunted and immediately began to gasp.

"Jake," I exclaimed, "Damnit! Don't move so quickly. You're going to break another bone."

"Bells…" He panted, "I'm…basically indestructible."

"Apparently not," I gingerly sat beside him as he slumped against the pillows and closed his eyes. Without opening them, he reached for my hand and pulled me against him. As we lied curled closely together I said, "I don't want to talk about this. Not really, but I have to ask just once."

"Hmm…" Jake hummed tiredly, "What is it, baby?"

"Did anybody else get wounded?"

"No." He answered, "Most of the guys just got a couple bruises."

"Who…who…" I inhaled and blurted, "Who killed Victoria?"

There was a long pause before Jake whispered, "Edward."

I nodded and gulped before saying, "I guess all of the vampires were killed."

"Yeah, honey," Jake began to comb his fingers through my hair, "Those bloodsuckers are dead and you're safe now."

I whispered, "Would you be okay if I went to their house before they leave? Just so I can thank them all?"

He took a slow breath and replied, "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Bells. But I would like to be there with you if you go."

"Graduation is in six days." I said, "We'll see them then. Alice said she, Jasper, and Edward want to graduate at Forks High before they leave."

Jake whispered, "Then, we'll see them."

I smiled softly and kissed the side of his cheek before he said, "Bells?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"I hope you know how embarrassingly loud and proud I'm going to be when you walk across the stage six days from now."

I groaned quietly as he added, "Don't think you'll get lucky enough and that I won't be healed by then either. Let me tell you what, there's no way I would miss your graduation ceremony for anything in this world. Hell, I might even get Quil and Embry to come with me. We'll paint _Team Bella_ on our shirts."

I pictured the horrifying idea and said, "It's a good thing I love you."

Jake chuckled as he leaned over and kissed my lips. The kiss went on a little longer than I intended before he pulled back.

"Yeah," He whispered, "It's a very good thing."


	33. Chapter 33

**Epilogue**

**AN:** _Thank you all for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you! Be sure to go to the next "chapter" after this!_

**Credit Given:** _BURN3 gave me a general idea that I found brilliant, so I will be using it in this chapter. Credit goes in that direction; I only took part of the idea and wrote about it *laughs*_

* * *

**Nine Years Later**

* * *

"Can you believe that?" Emily demanded as she mopped the floor.

"No, I can't believe it." I replied with a smirk on my face as I jumped up and sat on the countertop. Emily rolled her pretty eyes and fisted her hand on her hip. "Bella Black, if you don't get your ass off of that counter…"

"What are you going to do?" I chuckled and joked, "Fire me?"

"I just might." She replied before smiling brightly, "As if I could fire _the boss."_

I stated, "Em, don't call me that. I'm not your boss. I'm your best friend."

She set the mop against the pale blue wall and spread her hands out. She laughed and said, "Take a long look around, girl. This is _your_ place, not mine. I work for _you."_

I gazed around at the pale blue walls and creamy tiled floor. Behind me was a solid set of working space and a rather modest kitchen. The countertop was done in beautiful Pine and all of the tables evenly spaced throughout the restaurant were made of the same rich wood. I gave a small smile and said, "I guess you're right."

The jingle of the front door opening made me turn my head. An instant later a smile lit up my face. Two-dark skinned, dark-haired bullets shot across the floor and into my waiting arms. The little girl giggled loudly and cried, "Mommy! Mommy, guess what?"

"Yeah, Momma, guess what!?" The little boy wiggled out of my arms and clumsily climbed onto the nearest stool. I allowed exuberant excitement to show in my voice as I asked, "What is it?"

"We got a present for you, Momma!" The little boy grinned proudly and impatiently pushed his shaggy, black hair away from his face.

"Awe, Sarah, Will, that's so thoughtful." I kissed my daughter's cheek and hoisted her up and then plopped her on the stool next to her brother. I smiled as they both gazed at me with big, wide eyes.

I clapped my hands together and asked, "Where is it? I can't wait another minute; I just have to see what you two got me."

They giggled with excitement as the bell jingled once more. Emily, who was hugging both of the kids, turned and greeted, "Hey, Jake."

I watched as my husband walked through the door carrying a small gift-bag. He smiled brightly and beautifully as I walked forward and wrapped my arms around his back. He held me close and had to bend down slightly to press his lips to mine. His dark eyes danced happily as he greeted, "Hey, baby."

I breathed him in and whispered, "Hey."

Jake jerked his chin in the direction of the children and winked at me before saying, "I think they expect a party. They've been telling me all day that they want sleepovers and cake and ice-cream next week. They act like it's going to be their birthday or something."

I tried to hide my grin as I smacked Jake on the arm. I turned to Sarah and Will before saying, "A party, huh?"

They both grinned identically before nodding. I said, "I guess we can manage that. After all…" I gently flicked both of their button noses before saying, "Six year old birthdays only happen once. And what's a party without presents? What do you guys want for your birthday?"

"Oh, oh!" Will wiggled around ecstatically, "Momma, I want the new Batman action figure!"

"Ew, gross!" Sarah squealed, "Momma, Daddy, I want a new bike."

"A new bike?" Jake came forward and scooped Sarah into his arms. He threw her in the air, caught her as she giggled and gave her a smacking kiss before saying, "I thought you wanted that new ballerina doll you saw at the toy store."

Sarah put her small hands on Jake's cheeks and giggled, "I want that too, Daddy."

"Ah," Jake smiled widely, "She thinks this perfect, little smile will get her all the things she wants. How smart is she?"

"Dad!" Will exclaimed as he stumbled off of the stool and plowed into his father's long legs. He pulled on the fabric of Jake's pants until Jake scooped down and lifted Will up too. He held a child in each arm before turning to me and saying, "Open up your gift, honey. The kids helped make it."

I spent a moment watching all three of them smile brilliantly before grabbing the bag off of the countertop and carefully pulling out the object inside. Then, I smiled and met Jake's gaze. The kids both began to excitedly ask, "Do you like it, Momma?"

"Yeah, Mommy, do you like it? Isn't it awesome?"

I slipped the leather bracelet on my wrist and stared at the two crooked, chipped-up figurine hearts attached. I smiled and whispered, "I love it so much. Has Daddy been teaching you both how to carve?"

Will nodded quickly as Sarah blurted out, "We're real sorry that we broke your other bracelet, Mommy."

"Well," Will admitted, "Dad didn't let us really use the tools by ourselves. We took turns while Daddy showed us how to use the knife."

"And we know Daddy made that special bracelet for you a long, long time ago and we messed it all up. So we made this one as a…a…a apolo…Daddy, what's the word again?"

Jake kissed the side of Sarah's head and murmured, "Apology. You made the bracelet as an apology to Momma."

She said, "Yeah, Mommy. It's an apology."

Will added, "Daddy is making you a new wolf craving, Momma, so you can add it to the bracelet. But we're not supposed to tell you…"

I laughed softly at the look of sudden dramatic outrage on Sarah's face. She exclaimed, "Will! You aren't supposed to tell her!"

Will's cheek flushed with a dark blush as he mumbled, "Uh-oh."

Jake kissed Will's cheek and said, "It is okay, Will. You didn't do it on purpose. Sarah, don't yell at your brother. Now, why don't both of you go give your mother a hug?"

Jake had barely allowed their sneakers to touch the floor before they were racing toward me. Both barreled into me and squeezed my arms tightly. Emily ruffled Sarah's hair as she passed by and went to Jake.

She gave him a hug and said, "All of you are absolutely adorable. I'd love to stay and watch all the family love, but I have three unruly children and a husband waiting on me."

I laughed and said, "Are we still on for dinner this weekend?"

"Of course!" Emily called as she walked out of the front door, "Call Charlie and bring him too!"

Sarah asked, "Are we going to Aunt Emily's house today?"

I shook my head and said, "This weekend, baby."

Will asked, "Are we going to see Grandpa Charlie too?"

"Oh, yeah, Mommy." Sarah said, "We haven't seen Grandpa Charlie in days."

I smiled and said, "I'm sure Grandpa Charlie will want to come see his two favorite kids in the whole world. I'll tell you what…after we go home and we eat dinner, you two can call Grandpa and ask him to come over this weekend."

They cheered loudly before whirling around to ask Jake, "Daddy, will Grandpa Billy come too? We want to see Grandpa Billy."

Jake chuckled, "I guess staying with him after school yesterday afternoon wasn't enough for the two of you."

Sarah giggled, "No, Daddy. I like seeing Grandpa Billy and Grandpa Charlie all the time."

Jake and I listened intently to every babbled word from both of our children as we walked outside. The oceanfront was within view and the smell of salty water was everywhere as we walked toward Jake's old car. Sarah and Will each jumped in the backseat as I climbed into the passenger seat. I asked, "How was work, Jake?"

He rolled his pretty eyes and complained, "Embry and Quil took a two hour lunch break. Then, they were shocked when I docked their pay for that extra hour."

I smiled and teased, "Hey, Big Boss Man, you shouldn't have hired your two best buddies as soon as you opened up your own garage."

Jake laughed in amusement and asked, "But you can hire your best friend, Chief Bella? Don't you think that's a bit hypocritical?"

"No," I answered easily, "My best friend doesn't take two hour lunch breaks."

"Okay, you win the argument." He chuckled, "Like always."

I smiled and asked, "So what do you want for dinner? Give me the votes."

"Blueberry pie!" Sarah cried.

"No!" Will loudly stated, "Pizza!"

Jake and I both looked at each at the same time before he grinned and voted, "Pizza."

Will cheered and then Jake added, "But only if Momma puts mushrooms on it."

_"Ewww!"_ Sarah and Will shrieked at the same time. Jake and I laughed before Jake said, "I'm just kidding, guys. How about sausage and pepperoni pizza?"

They cheered nosily as Jake pulled into the driveway. The kids were unbuckling and racing up the porch steps, but I took a moment to simply stare at our home. And then I smiled softly.

Jake followed my gaze and then gave a happy grin, "I told you I dreamed of a cabin, Bells."

I whispered, "Yeah, you did."

We walked, hand-in-hand, into our beautiful cabin with our children dancing around our legs and shouting joyfully.


	34. Chapter 34

_Thank you all for reading! I'm so happy and so overwhelmed at the responses I received. For those of you who like my writing enough to read others, I'd like to say that **I have another story!** **Jacob is my main character,** but this won't be a Bella and Jacob story. This is, in no way, connected to Waking Up And Starting Over._

_This story doesn't have a name just yet. It is a Renesmee and Jacob story, but **WAIT!** Before you freak out, read on. I have personally decided to follow my imagination and try writing a reasonable and interesting story based on what I think could have happened after the end of Breaking Dawn. Give me one week (possibly two, but I doubt it) and I will have some of the first few chapters posted. **Stay on the look out!** I would really appreciate if somebody at least gives it a try;) I promise it will be good._

**To Vriend:** It's my mission to make you like Renesmee! It will be challenging, but I'm willing to try. *Laughs* Also, thanks for sending PMs with corrections for me!

**To tonyamic10 and megan39: **You two were my very first people to review. I don't think I'll ever forget the excitement I felt the moment I logged on and saw those two reviews. Thank you.

**To jlove34:** I'll never forget the excitement I felt when I realized who you were and that you liked my story so much. Thank you.

There are specific people who reviewed often with me and I always answered you back (If, at any point in time, I missed answering you it wasn't intentional and I'm sorry!) I'd like to give a special thanks to the following readers who took the time to leave reviews:

Yes, I wrote each of your names down;)

_**Vriend, BURN3, tonyamic10, Woobaby, April-Showers82, Tigerforce, megan39, corkykellems, camialfaroc, midnight619, teamjacob0729, Iktek89, mrslisablack, PastOneonta, bex67, wolfgirl1973, God Is Wearing Black, Yeddi, Lady-Isowen, lady f, whydoyouwanttoknowmynameagain, jlove34, weekaa1313, mdjg, Bella, Isabella Swan, afc, LadyLunaTwilight, Little Miss Perfect7, W Pear, BlueMidnyte, Grace, Selena Bellissante.**_

Also, a thanks to all of the **Guests** who left reviews as well;)

**To the rude person who left me ONE bad review:** You're an ASS, but I did fix the error you so rudely pointed out.

_Thank you all once again and come back to check out the next story soon! *coughs and smiles* you can favorite me and it will totally be easier for you to find the story once I post it!_


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